Youkai Pride, Human Prejudice
by HannahGallifrey
Summary: Rin is growing up, and life is no longer as simple as when she was a girl, for either her or Sesshomaru. twists and turns abound!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: there is a poll on my profile, please go vote!

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Today was the day.

Kagome made sure that 15-year-old Rin was presentable in the newest kimono Sesshomaru-Sama had sent for her. The young woman fidgeted excitedly- it had been several months since his last visit, but he'd sent a letter that he would be coming to fetch her if she so desired.

And she did, very much so.

"Rin, hold still," kagome scolded with a giggle. "you want to look your best, don't you?" she froze at once so the miko could finish tying the fancy knot in her obi. "there, all done." Rin twisted to look over her shoulder, smiling at the pretty design.

"it's perfect! Thank you, kagome-sama!"

"I agree."

Rin's eyes lit with joyful recognition as they darted to the source of the familiar voice- for Sesshomaru had just arrived, pushing the door screen aside. "Come, Rin." She hurried over to step past him out the door, trying not to skip and bounce with excitement. He watched her indulgently, feeling a slight smile tug at the corners of his lips. He didn't let it show, though.

"are we going to go traveling again?" she asked as they walked side by side from the village and out into the forest nearby.

"no," he said shortly, not looking at her. She seemed confused, so he explained, "we will be going to a manor house- my manor- and staying there."

"oh." She remembered a manor being one of the many places they'd stayed from time to time, and wondered idly if it was that one. Then her mind wandered to other topics as it often did around him, since he didn't really talk much. She had been pondering something for months, since she'd gotten her first blood, but didn't know how to ask, since she didn't want to offend anyone in the village.

Sesshomaru noted the silence was heavier than usual and glanced over at her, disliking the frown on her face. "if something is bothering you, Rin, you should ask it."

"hnn?" she glanced up at him in surprise, jolted from her thoughts. "ah, I don't know how to ask yet."

"well, when you do, don't hesitate to ask." She nodded earnestly and fell back to her thoughts as they walked to where jaken and Ah-Un were waiting. The imp hopped up and down in excitement to see Rin- he'd missed her and wasn't ashamed to admit it. She helped him pack up what little gear there was, still thinking hard. Finally, she broke her silence.

"milord? I've been wondering for some time…what would happen if a Youkai and a human were to be married? Do you think Kagome will have children someday?"

Sesshomaru was unable to hide his surprise at the unexpected question. "Humans and Youkai don't marry often…" he began. "Youkai must continue their own bloodlines, and cannot fool about with humans. Kagome can have children, but only due to InuYasha's inability to produce a full-blood Youkai. I must bear the weight of continuing the bloodline instead." He didn't bother hiding any information from the girl, reminding himself she was plenty old enough to be married and deserved to understand such things. She was fully grown at 5'2 and would always be slight.

Rin was shocked by the new information. "InuYasha is not a full Youkai? What is he, then?" never having been told, she knew nothing about hanyou or even that they could exist, until just now. Jaken had once tried to explain it to her, but Rin didn't like long stories or sitting still very much.

"He is a filthy, impure, half-breed." Sesshomaru scoffed angrily, scowling at the thought of his brother. "a human and demon mix- they are often frowned upon for their weak strength."

Rin looked down at the ground, keeping a hand on Ah-Un's shoulder. "oh. I see. I didn't know InuYasha wasn't full-blooded, though I did wonder why you two looked so different." If he hated cross-breeds—and humans—so much, why exactly did he keep her around? Did he simply feel obligated to her after saving her life so many times as they travelled?

He looked at her as she fell silent again. He didn't understand humans or females particularly well, and didn't realize he'd hurt her feelings. "yes. We are only related by our great father…" he turns away to start leading them to the manor. "come, Rin. We are leaving."

Rin managed to smile faintly at the proud tone in which Sesshomaru mentioned his father. "hai!" she said, keeping her hand on the dragon's shoulder as they started off. She had found a Haori he'd had made from one of his old jackets when she was younger in the saddlebags, and put it on. She loved the red hexagon-with-flowers design on the collar and sleeves.

Sesshomaru stayed silent as they travelled the rest of the day, as normal. His mind kept going back to his conversation with Rin, replaying his choice of words as if trying to point something out. After hours of pondering, they reached the manor, and he felt he had realized why Rin wasn't smiling as she normally always did. He told Jaken to take Ah-Un to the stable and turned to Rin, catching her arm to stop her from going inside yet. "Rin…Something is bothering you."

She had managed to mostly forget the conversation from earlier, but at his statement, it came rushing back to her, and her normally cheerful face fell again. "oh, it is nothing to concern yourself with, Milord," she said evasively. "I am fine."

"your happiness does concern me when you choose not to show it. What is bothering you, Rin?"

She looked away from him, refusing to look him in the eye, or, indeed, at all. "I wonder, sometimes, why it is you keep me around. After all, I am nothing but a weak and fragile human girl." There was both worry and hurt clear in her tone, and she crossed her arms, holding her upper arms as if she were cold.

Though he didn't understand humans or women very well, it was obvious she was hurt by his earlier words. Now was not the time to guard his pride, if he wanted to fix this. Before he had died, his father tried to teach him the value of a woman. At the time, he thought it ridiculous- he had no need of someone to protect and care for. Weakness creating strength? It was preposterous. He understood it a bit better now. He stepped a little closer to the young woman and took her chin gently, tilting her face up to look him in the eye. "when compared to a Youkai, Rin, you are weak. It is natural. But you are strong. You stayed with me no matter what happened as we travelled, and I knew you were the strongest woman I had ever met from the moment I laid eyes on you." He looked into her brown eyes. "I apologize for any offence I may have caused you…"

Rin stared up at him—not that she had much choice!—with a bit of awe. He had never spoken so bluntly to her, nor had she had the chance to look at him as closely as she was now able to. The sharp pink stripes on his cheeks, the moon on his brow…and those beautiful golden eyes were enough to get lost in…then her mind registered his apology. What had gotten into him? This was Sesshomaru-Sama, wasn't it? Her cheeks grew hot, but she couldn't bring herself to look away from the golden depths of his eyes…

"Rin?" he frowned and furrowed his silver brows in concern at her unresponsiveness. "Rin~?" he released her chin and stepped back a pace.

When he let go of her, she came back to her senses with alarming speed. Looking alarmed- just short of horrified- she turned tail and fled indoors, running up the stairs to her room, unable to deal with the new emotions welling up inside her. When she reached her room- next to Sesshomaru's, sharing a wall with a sliding door- she knelt on her small futon and covered her face, breathing hard. What were these feelings? She couldn't call them BAD feelings, certainly, but they were alarming in their strength and suddenness…

Sesshomaru came in after a few moments, settling into his room and going to his study, sighing at the desk covered in scrolls and papers- land treaties, mostly. This was the downside of choosing to stay in one place. Rin was able to calm herself and changed her clothes and got dinner, choosing to eat in her room.

After a short while, Sesshomaru was already bored of the treaties and decided to go and see how Rin was doing. He didn't like her earlier flight and hoped she wouldn't make a habit of it. Rin was munching and staring up at a tapestry on the wall of her room, depicting a massive InuYoukai standing on a cloud, snarling. There were jagged purple marks above his mouth, and she wondered who it was supposed to be. She turned at the sound of her door sliding open and swallowed her mouthful of fish quickly. "good evening, Milord," she mumbled.

"I have come to check on you." He glanced up at the tapestry, recognizing his father.

"oh, I'm fine, Thank You," she said in an irritable tone she normally reserved only for jaken on a very bad day.

He immediately frowned at her tone, raising an eyebrow. "Rin…"

"as you can see, I am settled in well, and I have food." She was even using the more formal language Miroku and Kagome had taught her to cause more obvious distance between them. She deliberately stared at the tapestry rather than Sesshomaru. He stepped up beside her, crossing his arms, his armor and more colourful sash of Rank gone since he was in a place he considered safe. Sensing him move closer to her, she looked up sharply at him, looking distinctly irritated- but only for a moment. In spite of herself, once she looked at him, her face smoothed into a contented look.

"Rin, I don't like this new attitude of yours. If you don't tell me what's wrong, I can't fix it."

She heaved a sigh, turning away from him once more. "gomen ne. I can't tell you because I don't know myself."

He frowned and turned away to leave. "then I cannot help you."

"ah!" she reached after him as he left the room, though she had nothing else to say and nothing worth keeping him for.

"Father…I will never understand women." He went back to his desk full of treaties with a sigh. Rin grumbled to herself, thinking hard. She had to figure out what was wrong with her, so she could explain it to him. And she would do it, even if she had to embarrass herself asking questions of others. Once she was finished eating, she cleaned up her leavings and decided she had enough information to attempt a conversation. She stopped at Sesshomaru's door, tapping lightly on the frame.

"Enter." Sesshomaru did not bother to look up from the document he was poring over, knowing by scent who it was.

Rin opened the door and stepped inside, feeling as if the fish she'd just eaten was back alive in her insides.

When she didn't speak immediately, he looked up at her. "can I help you?..."

"ah, I wanted to talk with you. I've been thinking, about earlier." She stepped farther into the room, settling down on a cushion a few feet away from him.

He nodded, setting down the scroll he was reading and weighting it with stones for later. Then he looked up at her, giving his full attention.

She swallowed nervously and began, "you see, I think it has something to do with me being a woman now. I'm not a little girl, even though sometimes I feel like one." She wasn't quite sure how to phrase it right, but hoped he could get the meaning behind her jumbled phrasing.

"alright," he nodded again, encouraging her to continue.

She paused, looking at her lap. "a-and I keep having the strangest of feelings when I'm around you- that didn't happen before," she continued, her cheeks a deep pink. She was ashamed of the feelings and what they made her (sometimes) think about doing.

He looked closely at her and took a breath through his nose, scenting discreetly. It confirmed what he thought she meant. _She's in heat…_

After a longer silence of several loaded seconds, she looked up worriedly. She wasn't sure what was more frightening in that moment- her strange feelings, or the look of complete understanding she could see in his eyes…

"it is nothing to worry about, Rin. It may seem foreign to you, but it is merely a natural change, and a part of maturing."

Rin breathed a sigh of relief at his reassurance. "then they won't go away? These feelings?" she asked after a moment's hesitation. Not that she didn't like the feelings, sometimes- the warm fuzzy ones in her chest were best- but they could be unpleasant or at least very distracting to her.

He shook his head gently. "it's very unlikely they'll ever go away. But they can be sustained until a certain time."

She looked confused. "what do you mean? IS there something I can do to make them go away?" her eyes sparkled with hope that this was true, and she would be able to rid herself of the distracting and more unpleasant feelings without having to leave Sesshomaru once again…

"yes," he told her quietly, looking at her. "but you are too young to use it."

That confused her even more than before. "too…young?" she mused aloud, but mostly to herself, looking back at her lap. "for what?"

Sesshomaru had to remind himself once again that the young woman before him was no longer the little girl who'd followed him after he saved her, and that there were things about the world she needed to know. Things he had to tell her before someone else did. "Intimacy with a man," he intoned shortly, looking at her with a serious gaze.

Rin's head snapped up in surprise and she immediately turned a deep and painful-looking shade of red in shock at the words she had only heard a few times, whispered in passing by older adults. "W-w-what?!" she blurted, seeming horrified. Her mind immediately agreed with his earlier words- she was too young. Her hormones had quite different ideas, but she ignored the feelings.

"until you know exactly what happens between a man and a woman in bed I will enforce that nothing happens to you." He was clearly deadly serious and set on protecting her innocence as long as possible. She bowed her head, unable to meet his eyes any longer from embarrassment. "ah…th-thank you, Sesshomaru-sama."

He glanced back at the scroll on his desk to give her a break from having to meet his eyes, letting the intense moment pass. "remember, Rin, any questions you have are welcome, if they will help you."

"questions? But what could I possibly think to ask you?" she wondered aloud to herself. _You know as much about humans as I do…and I am one…_ she thought.

He shrugged and lifted the stones, holding the scroll up as if to read it more closely. "just simple advice or information."

Rin thought for a moment or two, staring at her lap once more. She needed a question to ask, but they all seemed like the wrong one, and there were just too many. Finally she thought of a good place to start. "why is it men go after women all the time, but women don't chase men?"

He lowered the scroll and one eyebrow in thought. "hmm…well…men are more physical by nature. So, I suppose they tend to go more in that direction. Women, on the other hand, are more emotional, and wish for a relationship first."

Rin nodded. That did make a lot of sense. After all, it had been the women of her old village who'd only scolded her for stealing, while the men beat her whenever they caught her. She supposed she always knew men were physical. "a…relationship? Is it like a friendship? Or like marriage?"

"it is an in-between. Less serious than a proper marriage, but something very like it."

"oh, I see." Rin paused and turned a little pink again. "ah, I have been wondering…do all men have those…" she didn't know the proper word for it, so made a vague gesture between her legs- "things?"

He nodded shortly, surprised the miko or someone else never explained it to her. "yes. It is part of the body for males."

Rin pulled a face of disgust. "what for? All the boys do is see how far they can relieve themselves in the river outside the village."

He stopped himself from making a similar face. "it's a part of the intimacy process. Besides urine, there is other…stuff that comes out."

Rin blinked at that, so grossed out her face had gone completely blank. That hadn't quite been something she wanted to know. "…and that's how a man helps the kami give a woman a baby?"

"along those lines, yes."

"hmm." Rin scratched her head thoughtfully. She got up from her cushion and moved to the end of his futon, because it was closer to Sesshomaru and she could see his table of papers more easily in the candlelight. "have you ever-?" she began, then decide she did not want to ask that question. She didn't want to know, and it was no doubt a very private thing.

"I will neither confirm nor deny." He wasn't offended at the almost-question, knowing she was only curious.

"ah-I didn't really want to know anyway!" she insisted hurriedly. He simply nodded and looked back at his papers, preparing to write a reply to one of the treaties.

Rin stifled a small yawn and leaned over onto her side on the futon. "Youkai aren't like humans," she observed. "are the differences between women and men the same as humans?"

"if they are using a humanoid form, then yes, they are exactly the same. But if they are within a 'true' youkai form, they may look different, but are still the same concept."

Rin nodded understandingly, quickly stifling a slightly larger yawn before he could hear it and order her to bed for the night. She might not get another chance like this. "and do all youkai hate hanyou as much as you do?" she asked, clapping a hand to her mouth in horror right after, fearing she'd offended him with the offhand question.

He stopped writing, setting the brush down carefully and not looking at her. "just go to bed, Rin. You need sleep."

Though her instincts yelled at her to comply as she always did, she made a decision and sat up straighter, looking directly at him. "you didn't answer my question." She was very quiet and her voice was small and timid. She was scared of defying anyone, but especially him. But she felt she deserved an answer.

"I don't need to answer it. I told you about Hanyou mere hours ago. Can you not remember what I said?"

"I remember," she told him, voice a little more even, though no louder. "I just don't think it's actually true, that's all. Your brother looks very strong to me- just not nearly as strong as you are."

He let out a soft sigh of resignation. "they are frowned upon by all. But not many youkai do actually care very much."

Rin nodded softly. "thank you for answering," she murmured, laying back down and curling into a ball, as usual. She was full from dinner earlier, and tired from walking and riding most of the day, and didn't want to move, so she wouldn't until she was made to.

He glanced up from his papers again when she fell silent but didn't leave and found her curled up in his bed. He shook his head slightly and stepped over to her, picking her up bridal style. "if you aren't warm you're going to catch a cold. And you can't stay in here." He took her back to her own room next door. She curled into his chest a little as he carried her and relaxed to the point she was almost asleep before he put her down in her own futon. He looked at her and sighed softly, his gaze troubled.

"what am I going to do with you, Rin?" he pulled the quilt up over her, tucking her in securely.

"care…" Rin mumbled dreamily, already asleep. He shot her a surprised look, then turned away, assuring himself he was just hearing things. She wasn't replying. He put out her candle and left, closing the door carefully behind him and returning to his papers, the faintest ghost of a smile on his features.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: so, a few things before we go much further. Firstly, I promise this isn't going to stay slice-of-life forever! There will be action! Drama! Mystery and intrigue! I promise!

Secondly, I have a very busy schedule, so this will on average be updated once a week on Mondays. If you're lucky or I have extra time during the week it may also be updated back-to-back Sunday and Monday. I value quality over quantity, but whether I write one chapter or five they will only be released Sunday/Monday, so look for them then!

Thirdly, please feel free to review! Even if all you have to say is "it's awesome! Write more!" I love to hear it. You are welcome to PM with any questions or suggestions for the title- the current one is just a placeholder so I will want to make it something original eventually. Many thanks to Kaelag for my first review! You made my day!

Finally, I've done some calculations and since I didn't say in the first chapter (I will probably revise it once I get a few more chapters up) it was the second week of October when he came to fetch Rin, and in the following couple of chapters, about 18 months will pass. You'll get to see why eventually. *wink wink* anyway, on with the story!

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Rin woke very early the next morning, before the sun had risen, and decided to walk out into the manor's garden. She loved the small bamboo fountain in the koi pond and settled herself beside it, waiting for the mid-october day to begin properly.

Sesshomaru had stayed up most of the night finishing the reply to the treaty he'd begun the day before. He stood by the east wall, under the oldest cherry tree in the gardens, watching the sky lighten with the first hints of dawn. _Rin…is no longer a little girl…_ he mused, seeing the red and orange begin to blossom across the sky.

Seeing the sky begin to lighten in earnest, Rin rose from the edge of the pond and made her way over to the east wall. Spotting her lord, she skipped over and let out a cheerful "Ohayoo!" morning!

He straightened from leaning against the tree and nodded. "ohayoo, Rin." She gave him a bright smile and stepped next to him onto a tree root, getting a better view of the swiftly coming sunrise. "I never used to like the sunrise," she commented suddenly.

The comment surprised him, and he looked back at her for a moment. "why is that?"

She frowned softly, remembering the dark days before Sesshomaru-sama had found her- or, properly, before she had found him. "because, it meant I had to live through another day…" she explained, her voice hollow. "I couldn't go to be with my parents yet."

He frowned softly, looking more closely at her, remembering the day, not long ago for him, when she'd tried to offer him a fish she'd stolen. The awful cuts and bruises on her face from the men who'd discovered her theft and beaten her- truly she had had a wretched life. After he had saved her, he'd vowed (though he could barely admit it, even to himself) that she would never come to harm again, and anyone who tried would meet a swift and terrible end.

She looked back up at him with a ghost of a smile. "after you saved me from the wolves, I realized the sunrise was a happy thing. It meant I got to spend the day happy."

He patted her head gently. "I see."

 _It meant I got to spend the day with you…_ she thought. She shut her eyes for a moment, enjoying the warm weight of his hand on her head- he rarely touched her, especially in any way that could be termed "affectionate"…and as she'd grown such displays became almost non-existent and even more cherished because of that. "ah, how long will we be staying here this time?"

"actually, we will be planting roots here for a bit." He afforded himself a tiny smile, seeing her eyes were shut. He quite enjoyed the feeling of her silky raven hair under his palm.

Her eyes popped open again and he quickly schooled his features before she looked at him. "really?" she tried not to bounce at the prospect. "ah- but does that mean you'll be leaving us behind, and going alone?" he'd only just gotten her back- surely he wouldn't leave her again so soon!

"at times, yes." He watched her face fall instantly. "but, I will be staying here for the most part."

She cheered up again at the reassurance that he would be staying at least some of the time. Rin would take what she could get, as always. She leaned a little more into the hand still on her head, really enjoying the feeling just as much as he did, and let out a happy hum, closing her eyes again. His faint smile returned when she did. He gently rubbed his hand on her head more, amused at the thought that it was rather like how a human pet a dog- though a pet was very far from how he viewed Rin, of course.

She heard the birds start to sing in the trees, heralding the new October morning as the sky lightened fully, and smiled widely. Truly she had a better family now than she ever could have had- she would even put up with jaken for just a few moments like this one. She shifted closer to Sesshomaru, for the day was cold as it began- the morning dew could easily have been frost. He stiffened slightly as she leaned into his side, glancing down at her in confusion. She felt him stiffen up, but didn't move away, nor did he make her do so. He carefully moved his hand from her head to her far shoulder, telling himself it was simply a more comfortable position. He was confused about holding her- it didn't alarm or disgust him in the slightest. In fact, he liked her proximity quite a bit. And her scent- perhaps he'd gotten used to it over the years- but she didn't stink like humans did. In fact, she smelled very nice indeed…

Sesshomaru was very grateful when Rin's stomach growled, breaking the moment before it could become awkward. "sounds like you're hungry. You should go eat."

She didn't want to move- the glowing warmth in her chest as he held her assured her she would never need food again so long as she stayed by his side. But her stomach growled again, more insistently, reminding her not to be a fool. She sighed and reluctantly slid out from under the hand on her shoulder, going back inside to get something for breakfast.

By December, they had fallen into an easy rhythm. It turned out the meetings and outings Sesshomaru had to attend were mostly fairly regularly scheduled, the first week of each month. Rin always missed him most during this time, as the four days after three days of the new moon were when she got her blood, and that was always an unpleasant experience. Jaken avoided her during that time, and she didn't blame him in the slightest, knowing she got crabby and emotional. She suspected that it was why Sesshomaru-sama scheduled his meetings for that time, but she didn't say anything.

One day, after sitting out to watch the sunrise again, Sesshomaru followed Rin to the dining hall for breakfast. He sometimes sat with her at meals, but so far, she still had never seen him eat. She brought over two bowls of soup, more as a joke than anything, and set one down in front of him, sitting opposite. He gave a very slight playful smirk and hooked a claw over the edge of the bowl, pulling it closer to him. Rin had already started eating the bits of floating mushroom and the noodles and was trying not to make it so obvious she was watching to see what he'd do.

After getting the bowl within range, he picked up his chopsticks and pulled out a piece of meat, starting to eat it. Rin almost choked on a noodle in surprise and started coughing. He jumped to his feet in alarm. "Rin!"

"I'm fine, I'm fine! *cough* honest!" she gasped, taking a quick drink of tea to clear her throat. He sat back down, frowning in worry. "I'm okay," she repeated. "I thought you didn't eat human food?"

"it isn't human food. Mine was made separately." Rin eyed it, but it looked no different from her food, except that it had a bit more meat. She didn't like meat very much, and asked for fish if it was appropriate. Meat was for the rich.

"they did a good job disguising it. How did they know which bowl I would give you?" aside from the obviously copious amount of meat, that was.

He didn't state the obvious but instead decided to tease her. "they didn't. I'm taste testing." He suddenly switched the bowls and took a mushroom from hers, pretending to savor it far more than he did.

Rin turned green in horror. _If that isn't human food…what under the kami have I been eating?!_ She thought in alarm.

He frowned a little in concern at her change in complexion and switched the bowls back quickly before producing a small vial of tinted liquid. "here. This can calm your stomach."

She shook her head, holding up a hand. "It's fine. I'm done eating." She stood from the table and left more than half her bowl of soup uneaten, giving it a disgusted glance.

Sesshomaru was content to keep eating, until he saw the face she made. He quickly stood and stopped her. "Rin, what's the matter?"

"if that isn't human food, just what have I been eating all this time?!" she demanded in a shrill voice he had to stop himself from wincing at.

"you have only eaten human food. When you told the cooks that I was dining with you, they made mine separately. If you were to eat my food, you would know- it would make you ill."

Rin looked back at the bowls again. She couldn't help but think he was pulling her leg, but decided to let the matter pass. She sat back at the table, returning to her food.

"if I eat with you in future, you need me to eat first, to ensure you don't get sick." He went back to his own bowl, fishing out another piece of meat.

"is there any way for me to tell them apart? Or would I just get sick?" she wondered aloud, only half asking him. She started to drink the broth.

"I will have them mark the bowls or plates."

 _So…it is just the same, then._ Rin hummed thoughtfully, finishing her food and setting the bowl down lightly, pouring another cup of tea.

"humans can't taste any difference," he elaborated, finishing his own soup.

"but you can, of course."

"I can, yes." He poured himself a cup of tea, savouring it.

She shrugged. "it's no wonder you don't like humans- we're blind and deaf compared to you."

He slowly lowered his cup, eyeing her in slight annoyance. Though she'd been here two months already, he still wasn't used to her new attitude. It must come with growing up, he supposed- but that didn't mean he had to like it.

She noticed his look and looked away. "ah…sorry." _I have to keep reminding myself that a woman can't speak her mind as freely as a child might- I'm going to get myself in serious trouble with that if I'm not careful._

He went back to his tea, not acknowledging her apology since he didn't feel it to be necessary. It was as much of a learning curve for her as it was for him, and if she apologized every time he got the slightest bit annoyed he'd never want to hear "gomen nasai" ever again, no matter how much it was needed.

Rin fidgeted awkwardly in the silence and finally rose, gathering the dishes to take back to the kitchen. "I'll, ah, find something to do." She waited until he nodded, then moved off as he sat staring into his cup of tea, frowning slightly as he contemplated once more what to do with her…


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: many thanks to Belle'sDarkangel for the review! Fear not, more is on its way!

¡Y también muchísimas gracias a YaZziLeOn por su revista! ¡Saludos desde los estados unidos! Me encanta hablar otros idiomas, especialmente español.

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In February, Rin was exploring other areas of the Manor, as it was much too cold outside to be frolicking in the snow. She was surprised at how little free time she actually had, as Sesshomaru had appointed a servant to tutor her and continue the finer points of the education old Kaede and Kagome had begun. He still left at the beginning of each month and she still hadn't asked where it was he went, certain he wouldn't tell her.

She stumbled upon a closet full of fine women's kimono one day late in February during one of her free periods. Squealing with delight at all the fine colors and fancy patterns, she quickly collected several, stacking them in layers before deciding to try them on, making sure the colors didn't clash. She hunted down a few date-jime to hold the layers in place as she dressed, then a wide, fancy obi with an obijime cord to make it even fancier. She took her time putting on each of the colourful layers- it wasn't easy without a handmaid, but she managed all right. Then she found a few longer layers, meant as jackets that would trail on the floor, and added them too. When she was satisfied with the bulk and certain she must look like the paintings of court ladies from long ago, she shuffled off to see Sesshomaru, certain her new look could get a rise out of him.

She tapped at his door just before lunch, having spent the entire morning playing dress-up. He was, as usual, grumpily going over more papers and treaties, thinking fondly of all the times he didn't have to deal with paperwork, and could roam the landscape with no responsibility. He looked up at the familiar knock, glad of the distraction. "Enter."

Rin opened the Shoji sliding door and carefully stepped inside, covered in six layers of kimono, the topmost two of which were dragging gracefully on the floor behind her. She hid her hands in her sleeves and straightened her back more, trying to look regal and fancy. "I found these today," she explained, smirking. "what do you think?"

He let his eyes widen slightly in surprise, knowing she wanted a visible reaction, and watched her face light up more. "you look great, Rin. Very colourful."

She grinned a little more, knowing she could get a reaction out of the usually stoic InuYoukai. "do you know whose these were? I know they weren't yours."

He hummed softly to hide a noise of amusement. "they aren't mine. They were my mother's, when she was younger."

Rin looked down at the clothing she wore with renewed awe. "no wonder they're so soft…" she murmured. Then something occurred to her. "wait- but where's the fur?" she eyed the fur on his shoulder and the long 'tail' of it that pooled behind him on his cushion and the floor. She knew that Sesshomaru-sama's mother—who she'd only met once, rather disastrously—had at least as much fur as Sesshomaru-sama himself did, just in a slightly different pattern.

He couldn't help but let out the tiniest of smiles at Rin's ignorance. Of course she didn't know- few did. "it follows her around," he explained, using the act of speaking to hide the expression once more. "we use magic to attach it to her clothing."

Rin blinked in surprise, looking up at his face, then back to his fluffy pelt. "oh. I guess I thought it was a part of you."

"it is," he confirmed quickly. "but, while in this form, in order to bathe or other such things, I am able to remove it if I wish to, and the same is true of my mother and any other InuYoukai."

She was staring intently at it now. "…can I see?"

This time he coughed slightly to hide his amusement and stood quickly, taking the pelt off with a one-handed flourish and presenting it to her, resting on his palms. Her eyes went wider with surprise and she started to reach for the thick fluff without thinking, wanting to touch it. Knowing she was curious, he handed the surprisingly light bundle to her, looking away to hide his wide smirk at the tiny squeal of delight she produced as she hugged it tightly. She pet it a few times, then held it up rather reluctantly- it was so soft and fluffy she didn't want to give it up, now or ever.

He raised a slight eyebrow at the faint begging look in her eyes- she wanted to keep it? This time he let her see his faint smile. "you can keep it for tonight. I have no use for it, for now. The cold doesn't bother me as it does you, after all."

Rin looked down at the bundle in her arms, then back at him. Down and up again. "but- really? Honest, I can?"

He nodded gently. "honest. But just for tonight."

She looked down at the fluff again, and up. Down, and up. Was he really serious? He was! "thank you!" she chirped joyfully, hefting the pile of fluff over her head and looping it around her shoulders, letting either end rest on the tail of her jacket so it didn't drag the floor. Then she snuggled into the softness and warmth with delight, taking advantage of the moment to take a deep sniff of his wonderful scent that now wreathed around her on all sides.

He settled back down on his cushion, slightly missing the familiar weight of his Mokomoko already. He knew it was in good hands, though, and made sure he was turned away from her so he could allow himself a wider smile. "you're welcome, Rin."

She started to hum a cheerful tune and shuffled back out of his study, snuggling farther into the fluff and breathing in his wonderful scent some more. She wished she had a better nose than just her human one, so she could enjoy it even more!

The peaceful quiet of the manor's mid-afternoon stupor was shattered by a shriek of terror- from Jaken. Sesshomaru jumped to his feet instantly, treaties forgotten and only one worry on his mind- he had to make sure Rin was all right.

"sessho-maru-sama! Sessho-maru-sama! Sessh-" Jaken smacked into his master's shin, not looking where he was going, and fell backwards onto the floor.

"what's wrong?" Sesshomaru demanded, glaring down at the imp, who jumped back to his feet.

"Sesshomaru-sama! Thank the kami you're well!"

"of course I am. What are you talking about?" he swallowed a growl, already able to tell there was probably nothing wrong.

"I-I, er, that is…your moko! Someone else has it!" Jaken blurted, bowing quickly. He couldn't swallow the growl any longer.

"I know that already."

"I-HUH?!" jaken blurted in alarm. "but milord-"

"calm down."

"calm down?! But some stranger has your fur-"

He bent swiftly to strike the imp on the head, leaving an impressive lump. "that's Rin, you dimwit. Now begone, I have business to attend to."

"but-" Jaken clutched the bump on his head and looked round just as Rin came around the corner, head tilted slightly to one side in curiosity, the large pelt still wrapped around her. She'd been pursuing him since his outburst but couldn't catch up since she could only shuffle.

"what's wrong, Jaken-sama?" she asked him concernedly, frowning a little. "you seemed very upset…"

"he is simply being a fool…as usual." Sesshomaru scowled down at the imp distastefully, who was still nursing the bump on his head. Rin realized that he probably had either mistaken her for someone else or not recognized her entirely. She giggled a little at his expense.

"don't forget to fetch me for dinner, Jaken!" she called over her shoulder as she shuffled away again with a practiced, regal step. Jaken looked up at Sesshomaru, who scoffed and turned away also, returning to his study, before he hurried off after Rin, squawking "Rin-Sama- er, Rin! Wait!"

Sesshomaru stopped at the door to his study, hearing the imp's accidental title use. He hummed thoughtfully. "Rin-Sama…" he mused aloud, liking how the terms sounded together. It suited her.

Later that evening, he was finishing one of the last papers of the day when the familiar knock sounded again at his door. "Yes, Rin?"

She started slightly at her name- she still often forgot he could tell it was her without looking. "It's dinnertime, Sesshomaru-sama. Would you like me to bring you something?"

He shook his head, forgetting she couldn't see through the door. "no. I shall meet you in the dining hall momentarily." He finished signing the letter he was writing and weighted it with stones to stop it from rolling up as it dried. He listened with a smirk as she shuffled off, noting she must still be wearing all those layers she'd put on that morning.

He waited what he felt was enough time for her to make it to the dining hall ahead of him and get settled with all the extra layers on, then headed down himself, noting she was already waiting with plates of food for both of them. The dishes in front of her were all unmarked, and those in front of him had a red stripe somewhere on them, as always when they dined together.

As soon as he settled onto the cushion opposite her, Rin started to giggle softly. He raised an eyebrow, glancing up at her questioningly. "you look almost bare," she explained, "with no armor and your fur missing."

He gave a very small smile, knowing his normally imposing figure must be much smaller. Rin, by contrast, seemed massive compared to her normally slight figure, with all her layers on and his moko to boot. "I'll bet I do."

Rin beamed, seeing his small smile. _He almost never looks happy or smiles. I think the last time he really smiled wide…well, somebody died. But they deserved it._

He continued to look at her as they both began to eat, seeming to study her. _She looks so sophisticated…_ he mused. It wasn't just the clothing that made him think of his mother and the other women from his childhood in the palace- certainly his mother's scent had long since faded from the old kimono. It was the way Rin held herself, looking dainty and graceful, and his moko contrasting nicely with her faintly tanned skin and raven hair. He couldn't help himself- he pictured what she would have looked like as an InuYoukai, like he was, with white or silvery hair and dainty tilde of any color on her high cheekbones…perhaps even a moon on her brow, for if she had been born a youkai he would not hesitate to claim her for himself before anyone else could…

Rin was intent on her food, making sure to keep her layers of fine clothing clean as she ate, and didn't notice his silence or his staring for several long moments. When she sat straighter to reach for the bowl of rice, she noticed two things- for one, he had barely touched his food, and, for another, he was gazing intently at her with an indescribable look in his golden eyes…it was almost, what? Yearning, perhaps? "Milord? Is something wrong?" she asked softly, meeting his eyes.

Sesshomaru started very slightly at the soft question, pulling himself from the impossible fantasy. Rin was human. She had been born one, and she had died one- twice, despite his best efforts. And until she faded with the age of a few decades, she would remain human. There was no way to change that. He berated himself for even allowing the fantasy to play out before his eyes- she was not a youkai and never would be, and he absolutely could not daydream about taking her to wife when he had a duty to produce an heir of his own to take his mother's place as ruler. He realized she was still waiting for an answer and blinked. "no. nothing is wrong."

 _I've never seen him look at me that way before…_ Rin went back to eating uncertainly, confused by the moment but knowing she would get no explanation unless he was willing to give it, which he obviously wasn't. "ah, how are your treaties going? Well, I hope," she asked lightly, changing the subject.

"they are," he said softly, going back to eating, grateful for the change of topic. He focused on his food, no longer willing to look at Rin at all.

"good," she hummed, drinking the last of her soup. "it's always good to be able to use paper rather than your sword."

He looked up at her in mild surprise. "pardon?"

She blushed a little, not meaning to offend him. "well, I mean, it is a lot easier to negotiate if people are still alive, isn't it?"

He reproduced the tiny smile from earlier as he understood. "yes, it is."

"and it's very nice to have a home with you," she finished, turning a little pinker suddenly as she realized the phrase 'with you' had been added out loud, and not just in her mind.

He kept the faint smile, not allowing it to get wider at her slip. "I agree," he said with surprising warmth in his tone. "it is a bit easier to negotiate. And it is very nice to have a bed when the weather turns cold."

Rin only nodded, delighted at his tone of voice. She remembered fondly the times when it was cold as they travelled the countryside, and he would let her use the end of his 'tail' to keep warm, since he didn't carry spare kimono or blankets for a while and she got cold easily. Remembering the moko around her shoulders- she had found a way to attach it to the clothing with some leftover magic- she shrugged and held out one end of it slightly. "I suppose I should give this back now," she said to him. To her surprise, he shook his head and made a motion.

"keep it, Rin. I don't need it for now, and it will keep you warm while the nights are cold still." He wouldn't admit, even to himself, how much he liked how she looked with it, or how wonderful her scent became when it mingled with his. No. he had to avoid such thoughts. He quickly excused himself for the night and moved off, leaving her staring after him, bewildered at his new, odd behaviour…


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: holy cow! I have never received feedback so fast on a chapter of my work before! Shoutout to my fan belle'sdarkangel for her near-youkai speed! ❤

To sllmidnight, thanks for the review! The parts you requested are going to be coming up sooner than later…

* * *

Rin was overjoyed to attend the spring festival that year, though she was a bit sad that she couldn't go and visit old Kaede and the others. Sesshomaru-sama still didn't get along with his little brother, and since he had no reason to go back to the village now that Rin was with him, he refused to do so.

Rin didn't make the connection between them attending the festival that march, with him shadowing her closely to keep her safe, and the sudden addition of self-defense lessons to her tutoring schedule. It was the only class taught by Sesshomaru himself, and Rin liked the fact that she now had an excuse to spend an hour or so with him every day.

What surprised her was that he didn't teach her hand to hand combat at all. It was what she would have expected. Instead he chose to teach her swordplay, using a wooden set of blades which were weighted and balanced to be like proper blades. He used the larger katana while she got the smaller, dagger-like wakizashi. He also didn't often bother with proper forms in his lessons, after the first few. He only taught her how to block and parry and dodge, then would simply attack her, making sure to slow his reflexes to a more human level for her.

By june she had gotten rather good at fighting and was enjoying the sparring matches more than ever. She stood panting across the room from Sesshomaru, her dagger at the ready. He stood tall and unruffled as ever, his moko in place and even his armor on, a recent addition to the lessons. He wanted Rin to be able to deal with an armed and armored opponent, should she ever encounter one.

"ready?" he asked, raising his sword to the ready position.

She nodded. "ready."

He stepped forward and lunged with the wooden sword and she stepped to the side, using the flat of her dagger to deflect the incoming blow farther to the side. She stepped into him, directly into his guard where he couldn't defend himself, and struck his arm with the dagger. He stepped back and nodded in lieu of a bow. "good."

She saluted with the dagger and settled back into the ready position. The only thing he never had her do was attack- she only defended. He lunged again, but this time it was a feint, and she shifted to block on the wrong side, leaving her guard open and earning a light tap to her ribs. He could easily pull his blows to prevent any injury to her, and he always did so, for which she was grateful. Rin was certain she would be black and blue a dozen times over if he didn't.

"try again. Pay close attention." Rin nodded at his words and watched his body closely, waiting for his next attack, which was not long in coming. This time they exchanged several loud clacking blows before her dagger bounced off his armor uselessly and he lightly swiped across her throat, knocking her down.

"did you forget I was protected?" he asked, standing over her with a slight frown.

Rin scowled up at Sesshomaru, pushing herself back upright. "you weren't yesterday. It's not fair."

Sesshomaru bared his fangs momentarily, looking away and schooling his features before turning back to her. "if you are ever forced to use what I am teaching you, Rin, it will not be fair. Your opponent will be much stronger than you, ill-intentioned, and his katana will not be made of wood." She gulped at the seriousness of his tone and nodded solemnly. His gaze softened a little. "when you were younger there were many who sought your life because you travelled with me, others who thought you a tasty meal or a lure for me. As a woman, there are not so many who seek your life. But there are many who might seek you for other reasons. I want you to be safe even if you find yourself without me or Jaken beside you."

The implications of his words took their time sinking in. when they did, Rin's eyes widened. Bandits and other bad men did not only kill and steal…she gulped and raised her dagger back to the ready position, taking her stance once more. "ready."

* * *

They took a break for tea out on the front porch of the manor, enjoying the shade. The rainy season would start within the week, but for now it was sunny and starting to get hot as summer approached. "what day is it?" Rin asked, taking another sip of her tea.

"June first, I believe. The night was moonless yesterday." He had removed his armor once the day's lesson was over and was enjoying the light breeze as it ruffled his clothing freely, cooling him off. Sesshomaru knew he would have to get back to his papers eventually, but he relished the opportunity to let off a little steam when he sparred with Rin. And he certainly wouldn't pass up the chance to sit with her and enjoy the breeze before the monsoons came.

She let out a happy gasp and sat up a little straighter. "it's children's day!" he raised an eyebrow. Another festival? Did humans do nothing but celebrate? It seemed odd they had so many festivals when they had so little to actually celebrate.

"which is?"

"it's a festival for children," Rin explained the obvious. "and since I don't remember when my birthday is, old Kaede said it should be today that we celebrated. So I'm sixteen now!" she bounced a little happily, grinning ear to ear in excitement. Then her face fell as she realized something abruptly. "wait, if it's the first of the month, why are you still here? Shouldn't you be attending your meetings, like usual?"

Sesshomaru was a little surprised that she had so readily picked up on his habit of scheduling his meetings depending on when she got her blood, though she'd never called him out on it until now. Well, truth be told it wasn't her blood he was actually avoiding, but the days immediately prior, when she was in heat. He didn't want to tempt either of their self-control by being around her during that rather delicate time. In fact, he was more than likely tempting Fate by simply sitting near her right now…she did smell even more lovely than usual- no! focus. Answer her question.

"there were none scheduled for this month," he explained, his face giving away none of his thoughts, as usual. _Not for lack of trying…I suppose I could have just gone on an extended hunt, but…oh well._ It was too late now. He heard her hum in interest beside him, drinking the last of her tea and setting the cup aside.

"I was wondering," Rin began, and Sesshomaru looked over at her curiously. "when is your birthday, milord? And how old will you be when it comes around?"

His brow furrowed slightly in thought. The second question was far harder to answer than the first, accurately at any rate. "I was born during the Whelping festival," he began, and was saved answering the second question by a third.

"what's that? I've never heard of it." Rin was staring eagerly at him and leaning slightly toward him. He gave a tiny smirk at her eager curiosity.

"it's in the springtime, the middle of march," he informed her. "all InuYoukai are born then, because they are all conceived during the Running-" he held up a hand as she opened her mouth- "which I will explain later." She shut her mouth again. "the Whelping season is simply the time that all our pups are born, and as such it is a time of great celebration for us. It will be even more so on the day my own child is born, as a new heir is most precious of all." He was gazing into the distance, rather than at Rin, and missed her eager grin slipping into momentary disbelieving horror before shifting to jealousy and back to polite curiosity as she mistakenly thought he must have already found some woman before realizing he couldn't have.

"so…how old are you?" he hadn't aged since the day they met years ago, and jaken had said a hundred years was like nothing to them. But surely he couldn't be over thirty, and didn't even look that old…

"somewhere over seven hundred. It's difficult to keep track exactly." Rin was unusually silent and he glanced over to see her mouth hanging slightly open in shock. "what? You must have assumed I was older than I looked. Even my otoutou is over two hundred now." That shocked poor Rin even more. InuYasha- who never seemed older than 17, at most- was over _two hundred years old?!_

Sesshomaru gently reached across the space between them and put a finger lightly under Rin's chin, pushing it up to close her mouth with a bit of amusement. She jumped and looked a little guilty, quickly refilling her teacup for something to do. "and what's the running?" she asked after a moment and a calming sip of tea. She was staring at him. _He looks_ good _for over seven hundred years old…_

He cleared his throat nervously, looking out into the garden to avoid her eyes again. He shouldn't have mentioned it at all. But now, if he didn't tell her, she would just pester him until he did anyway. "the Running is a festival that takes place the first week of October," he started off. The day suddenly seemed stiflingly warm to him, and the breeze was like an oven blast rather than a soothing thing. "it is a time my people come together to find mates," he pressed on. He heard Rin hum in fascination and take another sip of tea. He could feel his face growing a little warm and prayed he wasn't visibly blushing. This was a simple thing to explain- why on earth was he nervous? "anyone unmated is required to go, and those that already have mates sometimes attend anyway. During the five days of the festival, various events are held. The males and females run and hunt together, proving their strength, speed and stamina to each other. By the beginning of the fourth day, anyone unmated pairs off if they found someone they find suitable, and-" he stopped abruptly.

"and?" Rin prompted, leaning toward him in interest once more.

"and that is all you need to know." Rin scowled at his abrupt cutoff. "you weren't finished," she accused. "no one ends a story with 'and'."

"I said, that is all you need to know, Rin. Suffice it to say that the Running is held in October, and the Whelping in march. I'm sure you can infer the rest." Surely she knew what he was implying without him having to say it outright? He swallowed, still not looking in her direction.

She was silent for long enough he was able to put his face back in a mask and look over at her. "…does…does it really only take six months?" she asked at length, still more curious than anything. He simply nodded, wondering why that was the detail she'd settled on. "is it the same for hanyou?"

For that, he had no answer.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: things are about to get very interesting. Read on with caution…mwahaha!

* * *

It was nearly October again as Rin sat out in the garden by the koi pond. The summer had been stifling after the monsoons were over and Rin was glad that it was starting to cool off once more. He had spent far more time away at meetings after their conversation in june, and Rin couldn't help but blame herself for it. She regretted the trouble she always seemed to get in with her mouth. She was wearing Sesshomaru's moko once again- he usually let her have it when he was at the manor, knowing how much she liked it. She sighed and pulled the fur a little tighter around her, breathing in the scent of it as she stared at the koi swimming lazily around the little pond.

"Rin."

She jumped a little, jolted from her thoughts at the sound of his voice directly behind her. She quickly got to her feet and faced him. "yes, Sesshomaru-sama?"

"I need to leave before noon today. I need my moko back." His face was sharper than usual and he looked wound tight, which he was normally opposite around her.

"milord, is something the matter?" she asked in concern. He glared sharply at her.

"my fur. Now." She flinched at his angry tone and quickly gave up the thick fluff, handing it over. "I will be gone for seven days. Keep up with your studies. And keep jaken close to you at all times, especially if you decide to leave the manor."

Rin finally realized he was wound tight with some sort of concern, not anger, and certainly not anger at her. She nodded, giving a small bow of deference. "I understand, Sesshomaru-sama. I will do as you say."

She was startled as he suddenly stepped very close to her, looming over her slight frame. He pressed something small but heavy into her hands and stepped away without another word, going to the stable to fetch Ah-Un. Rin looked down at her hands, finding a coin purse, which was clearly full if weight were anything to go by. She watched him leave the manor behind on the back of the gentle two-headed dragon, then went to find jaken, an idea already forming in her mind…

"what do you want now?" Jaken squawked grumpily, not liking having his duties interrupted by the troublesome young woman.

"we're going to town," Rin said firmly, weighing the heavy purse in her hands again. "there's a market in the village nearby, and I want to buy a present for Milord. You are to accompany me…and obey me," she added, lying a little at the end.

"Sesshomaru-sama said no such thing to me!" the little imp snarled in outrage. "you silly little girl! I will not be commanded by the likes of humans, now or ever!"

Rin shrugged. "it was he who said it, not me." She walked back to the porch of the mansion. "come along, Jaken. We're going to the market."

"this is completely unfair! I will not be commanded by you! And I am not going!" he insisted, crossing his arms.

"well, I am going, and you're supposed to protect me." Rin's patience was wearing thin for the grouchy little toad. "we're wasting daylight."

"HMMPH!" Jaken stubbornly sat down on the porch in the doorway, refusing to budge. Rin shrugged, fetching a parasol and heading off, nodding politely to one of the servants as she left the main gate and headed to the village a couple of miles away. With any luck, she would get there and have time to shop before dinnertime, and could grab something she could eat on the walk home. It was a trading village, on the larger side, and had a very fine and well-stocked market street.

Rin reached the market by mid-afternoon. She didn't like the crowd of people- even after living in old kaede's village for four years straight, she couldn't handle too many strangers at once. But she pressed on in search of something Sesshomaru-sama might like.

At a sake house nearby the market stalls, three younger men sat, watching the crowd like vultures. They immediately spotted Rin in the throng, as everything from the fine parasol to her colourful, fancy yukata stuck out from the commoners around her. "my, my, my," commented one of the men, "what a lovely little thing."

"she would fetch a high price at the brothel," commented his friend with an evil smirk. Rin was too far away to hear them, and distracted by a merchant selling hair pins. The men nodded to one another and decided to keep a close eye on her to see if they could get her alone, away from the crowds. It was clear she—very foolishly—had no escort, so the task would be a simple one.

Rin hummed cheerfully to herself as she went from merchant to merchant down the market lane, finding hair pins and fine cloth to make new kimono from. She debated what sort of present Sesshomaru-sama would like. He had everything he needed and didn't keep anything he didn't, so it had to be a practical gift. Her eyes fell upon a stall selling paperweights. He read and wrote on scrolls all the time, and used paperweights to stop them from rolling up before the ink was dry. Perfect! She found one made of jade with the character for dog carved into the top and bought it, tucking it into the little bag she had brought along. Now, for dinner so she could be on her way- but the street was so crowded she couldn't see any signs for restaurants through the mass of people in every direction.

Rin started to panic slightly as she realized she didn't know which way she had come into town. A deliberately waving hand caught her attention and she stepped toward a nice-looking young man. "are you lost, young miss?" he asked, seeming concerned for her welfare.

"oh, it's all right. I just can't find the tea house. I was hoping to get some dango so I could eat on the way back to my home." She smiled gently, trying not to feel so nervous- clearly the man was only trying to be friendly. "would you know where it is?"

The man nodded eagerly. "it's just down there, take the first right turn. It's an alley, but there's a door there. Just go in, and one of the servers will help you right away." She nodded her thanks and followed his directions quickly, trying to get out of town as soon as she could, starting to feel more uneasy.

As Rin turned into the alley the man had indicated she quickly stopped in her tracks, noting with panic that there was no promised door. The alley was a dead end. She quickly spun on her heel to leave as quickly as she'd come, but the young man—flanked now by two more young men—was blocking her way out. She quickly changed her expression from panicked to angry. "get out of my way," she tried to threaten, but the man just laughed at her.

"you're coming with us, beautiful," he smirked, taking two long strides and grabbing her by the arm tightly.

"wh- HEY! Let me go!" she scolded them as loud as she could, but there was little hope of anyone nearby hearing her over the din of the market street. She smacked sharply at his wrist, but without her dagger she had no idea of how to fight the man off. "Sesshomaru-sama will hear about this!" she threatened. But the man just laughed in her face, pinning her sharply to the alley wall.

"funny, I don't see him around," the man breathed on her, stinking of alcohol. "and you're so weak it's adorable." She whimpered, turning her head away. He pulled her arms away from where they protected her chest and started tugging sharply at her clothes. "let me go!" she barked again, struggling against the man's too-strong hands.

He laughed darkly. "you're pretty all right, and young- but unfortunately they pay more for a girl with some experience-" he managed to pull her top open by ripping the fine fabric of her yukata. She whimpered, closing her eyes- but suddenly the man had let her go.

Rin gasped and looked up just in time to see the man collapse to the alley dirt, dead with a hole through his chest the size of a fist. A specific fist. "Sesshomaru-sama!" she cried in relief, covering her chest by crossing her wrists, holding the torn fabric shut as best she could.

Sesshomaru snarled angrily, his hand still glowing with faint green light, prepared to dispatch the other men whose intentions were clear by the scent of their arousal. One man tried to flee and Sesshomaru caught him, squeezing his neck mercilessly until he heard it crack and saw the light in his eyes disappear. The third man tried to draw a sword and attack the DaiYoukai lord. Sesshomaru caught and melted the blade with his poison, then stabbed him with his claws also, splattering blood on the alley wall carelessly.

Some of that blood landed on Rin, who flinched and stirred out of her shocked inaction. Without another thought, she fled the carnage and the situation she'd just been through, keeping her wrists crossed across her chest to keep her torn yukata closed. She made it outside the village and into the forest beside the main path before she had to stop, shivering.

Sesshomaru partially returned to his senses once the three men were dead, and realized Rin was no longer in the alley. Following her scent, he pursued her, almost hunting her. He shouldn't be around her at this time of year- he was supposed to be in a different province by now, preparing for the Running to start in another two days. He wasn't fully in his right mind and he very well knew it. But some instinct even deeper than lust had made him stay to watch over Rin, as if he'd known something bad would happen to her in his absence. And it very nearly had. If he'd been just minutes later finding her…he snarled again and continued, needing to assure himself that she was safe. Then, he swore once she was back at the manor he would leave immediately and not return until he was sane once more.

Rin heard the rustling of bushes as something came barrelling towards her through the forest and took off running again in fright. She could not deal with two things in one day. Sesshomaru caught her arm gently and spun her around to face him. She let out a sharp squeak of fright, then relaxed when she saw it was only him. She curled into his chest, only now realizing he wasn't wearing his armor- how unusual. "that was scary…thank you…" she murmured, shivering slightly against him.

Sesshomaru held Rin close to him for a few moments, reassuring himself that she was indeed safe and well. He felt his conscious control slipping as his eyes clouded over. His hands began to move of their own accord, shifting to gently pull the top of her torn kimono from her shoulders.

Rin looked up at him in confusion as her shoulders were bared, still covering her chest. His hands were warm on her skin and…not unwelcome, but… "what are you doing?" she asked him softly, concerned at the feral look in his eyes. This was not the aloof InuYoukai she was used to.

She let out a small involuntary yelp as he pinned her abruptly to the ground, slicing her sash in two with his claws impatiently, all semblance of self-control gone. He was no better than a wild animal in the shape of a man. "I will teach you myself of the intimacy of a man," he managed to growl. Rin's eyes widened with alarm. _No! too young! I'm still too young!_ Her mind immediately clamoured. Her heart whispered timidly, _sesshomaru-sama would never hurt us…_ and her body- well. Her body had nothing to say, but it certainly knew what was expected of it…

They entered the gate to the manor's garden just as the sun was going down. Rin was wrapped in Sesshomaru's jacket, which didn't cover her as well as her yukata had that afternoon. It, unfortunately, would only be useful for rags now, between the bloodstains and the fact that it was very dirty from the forest floor and partly shredded by somewhat careless claws.

Sesshomaru had insisted on carrying her and hid her bare legs with his fluff. As he headed swiftly for the manor itself, he spotted Jaken still sitting where Rin had left him hours before. He had dozed off waiting for her to come back. Sesshomaru growled low in his throat at the sight, startling the imp awake. He jumped to his feet. "Milord! You're back so soon!" he blurted eagerly. "and you brought Rin back too!"

"Yes, I have. And I noticed you weren't there with her." In point of fact he doubted if he would have noticed a twenty foot troll next to her at the time- he had been focused solely on her. He stepped up the two stairs to the porch. "she was attacked, Jaken," he intoned shortly, stepping on the imp's head. "get out of my sight before I kill you."

As soon as the foot was lifted, Jaken scurried off out of sight, terrified. His nose wasn't nearly as good as his master's, but he knew by 'attacked' sesshomaru-sama hadn't meant cuts and bruises. _Poor Rin…_

Sesshomaru set Rin on her feet outside the door to her room and took off his moko, leaving it for comfort before going to his own room and shutting the door. He sat in silence for a moment before it finally fully registered what it was he had done…

Rin, on the other hand, had known what was happening from the beginning. What she didn't understand was why it had happened. That look in his eyes…she shivered a little, shaking her head. Best not to dwell on it. If she ignored it, it would go away…right? She cleaned herself up better and got some new clothes from her wardrobe, putting on two more layers than were strictly necessary, then her jacket so she could attach his moko. Then she settled herself onto her futon, which was pushed up against the shared wall between their rooms, and breathed in his scent, slightly confused that it was still as comforting to her as ever, if not more so now. Then, abruptly, the events of the day overwhelmed her and she started to cry, then to sob softly.

Sesshomaru listened to her through the wall, horrified and ashamed of himself. How could he have lost his careful control so completely?! He had hurt her- emotionally, at the very least. He had taken away her innocence, that which he'd sworn to protect. Even if she had been willing to give it, he was still ashamed. He held his head in his hands, gritting his teeth. He could not face her now. What could he do?

What could he do?


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I am getting pretty good at writing dream sequences… and I apologize for the cliffhanger!

For midnight, four words- you are absolutely right.

* * *

Rin jumped and scrambled to her feet at the sound of a tiny knock on her door, her face falling nearly instantly as she realized it had only been a foot's length above the floor. She slid the shoji open to find a small tray of food for her. She sighed softly. She hadn't had dinner, but after the day she'd had, she wasn't sure she'd ever eat again. She carefully picked up the tray and put it inside, hoping perhaps her appetite would return at some point. Then she looked at the still-open door. Swallowing thickly, she made up her mind and strode out with far more confidence than she felt.

Sesshomaru was still sitting on his own futon, head in his hands, curled in on himself like a kicked pup. The last sound he wanted to hear in that moment was a soft, timid knock at the frame of his door. He wanted to ignore it, or to tell her to go away- because of course it was Rin, the one person on the face of the earth and in all the seven hells he couldn't face ever again. He would face his bitterest enemies, a thousand times over- he would take any wound, no matter how painful- rather than face her after what he'd done. But he knew it was wrong to hide from her, and it would solve nothing. He dragged himself slowly to his feet and took the longest walk of his long life to the door- about two meters.

In the time it took Sesshomaru-sama to answer the door, Rin had nearly completely lost her nerve. She wanted to flee back to the safety of her own room, but the moment the door slid open, she knew she had made the right choice. He looked terrible- there was no light in his eyes anymore, and he had a wretched frown such as she had never seen on him before. She gasped softly in dismay and concern.

Why was there pity in her eyes? Why would she pity a monster- why wasn't she afraid of him? Or angry at him? That, Sesshomaru would be able to understand. But not pity. She should hate him for his lack of self-control, and his inability to protect her as he had promised to do. But instead she was concerned for his welfare?!

"I…I wanted to apologize, milord," she said in a tiny voice, looking down now, bowing her head. "I should not have gone alone to the market. I put myself in danger. I'm sorry." She heard a soft, shocked gasp, then felt a warm and extremely gentle, almost shy, hand on her cheek, encouraging her to look up once more.

"Rin…" he murmured softly, almost unable to speak. "no…don't…don't say sorry. You did nothing wrong today." It was he who had done everything so wrong- so, irreparably, wrong. He could see no way to make it up to her all the days of her life. Rin took the hand gently from her cheek, but did not let it go for several moments. She looked deep into the golden depths of his eyes- gold that seemed solid and cold with self-loathing now, not warm and inviting as they should have been. Her cinnamon eyes asked the questions her bravery would not allow her to put voice to- why? What had happened? Did that mean what Rin desperately wanted it to mean? Did he truly desire her, or was it all an unfortunate accident?

He saw the yearning and questions in her eyes, but the only one he could read correctly was the most obvious, and the one to which he had no answer. _Why? Why did I let it happen? Why couldn't I control myself when it was always so easy before? Countless women have tried me and I never had the least problem- and now this._ He forced himself to look away from her penetrating gaze after several long moments, pulling his hand away and letting it fall limp to his side. "you should rest, Rin- I must also. I will stay near the manor for your protection, but do not call on me again until the moon waxes to half, for your own safety." He swallowed thickly again, head turned away from her in shame and despair. Rin looked down as well and he heard her shuffle slowly away. He did not move until he heard her door slide shut once more.

* * *

After listening to Rin cry herself to sleep in worry, Sesshomaru curled himself back into a ball, making a bit of a nest of some blankets to replace his moko, which he had not gotten back. He finally fell fitfully asleep as the waning crescent showed in the sky, surrounded by bright stars.

"how could you have been so irresponsible?" a voice asked him. Sesshomaru opened his eyes, but was surrounded by nothing but blackness on all sides, completely alone.

"I…I never meant for anything to happen," he defended himself softly. "I did everything in my power to avoid it."

"clearly you did not," the voice continued, growing higher in pitch and more familiar. "or you would not be standing before me in such disgrace."

His mother was standing before him- it was she who was speaking to him. "Mother, I swear it was nothing short of an accident- a lapse in judgement!" he insisted, stepping a little closer.

"spare me, Sesshomaru. I should have known you would take after your worthless father sooner or later the moment you brought that brat into my domain." She pointed, and suddenly they were both standing in the throne room of his mother's palace. He looked behind him, where she was pointing, already somewhat knowing what he would see. His heart ached to find Rin kneeling on a cushion, wrapped loosely in only an underlayer with no sash, with an orange-haired InuYoukai woman kneeling beside her- a midwife by the black teardrop marking on her forehead. His mother had intentionally ordered the woman to examine the human girl in full view of any who might want to watch the condemning proceedings- luckily no one else was around. His heart fell more as he looked closer at Rin in those few precious seconds, and saw the faint roundness of her stomach, not concealed by her inadequate clothing.

"well? Have you nothing to say for yourself or your 'mistake'?" his mother prompted in a snarl, forcing him to turn back to face her, suddenly angry at the indignity. It must have been January- Rin was shivering in the cold without the layers she should have had to keep her warm. He wanted desperately to cover her and wrap her in his moko to protect her from the chill, but knew better than to turn his back on his mother for even an instant, not even to help the woman who was obviously carrying his child. But oh, how he would find a way to make them all pay for this.

"no, I have nothing to say, for there is nothing to say. Leave Rin be- she has no part in this."

"it is your duty to produce an heir worthy of the lands you will inherit!" his mother shouted at him, baring her fangs. "you know your duty and the laws, Sesshomaru. Your pet human has everything to do with this, and you are a fool if you think either of you will go unpunished!"

He heard Rin whimper in fear behind him and clenched his fist, baring his fangs in return. "our union _was_ an accident," he insisted in a low growl.

His mother's eyes narrowed and she looked down her nose at her son. "then you should have no trouble doing what must be done," she said simply.

He frowned at her complete change of attitude, wordlessly asking what she meant. The Lady Mother simply gestured to Rin with an open hand. "just kill her and be rid of the bastard pup. Else it will be all your lives, as the law demands." He heard Rin gasp sharply behind him and turned slowly to her. Now she did look at him in terror- a look he had never wanted to see in her eyes. He stepped closer to her and the midwife stepped away. Then he gently lifted Rin to her feet, fixing her underlayer properly, and wrapping the tail of his moko gently around her for warmth. He turned back to his mother.

"no."

Sesshomaru sat sharply up in his futon, breathing hard. The night was well over half gone and he sat shaking softly, holding himself up with trembling arms. He did not dream frequently- in fact, he didn't really dream at all. And that had been so vivid…he looked toward the wall his room shared with Rin's, hearing her slow, peaceful breathing as she slept deeply, untroubled by nightmares.

What if it were true? It was possible- though the Running wouldn't start until the day after tomorrow, perhaps he was already in season enough to father a child. Rin was not in heat either, yet, but would that matter? Would any of it? It seemed only fitting that the Kami themselves would punish his lapse of good sense. He would lose her, or he would die with her, if she were with child. His mother was right, he knew the laws. They forbid mating with humans and having hanyou children. The penalty for discovery was death for the human, exile or death for the InuYoukai, and if the child were already born, often death for them as well. The law had caused the extinction of an entire clan of InuYoukai over a millennia ago in a horrible, bloody coup. Sesshomaru knew that someone as involved as he was, as the heir and lord of the western lands, would never be able to keep such a secret. If Rin came to carry his child- there was no way of knowing for a few more weeks- he would be the direct cause of her death, sooner or later. He clenched his fists. What good was he? A momentary slip in his careful control- it would have been better if he had cut her throat than do what he did, he thought bitterly.

He forced himself to think of something more positive. Perhaps she was not—he could barely think the word—pregnant, after all. Neither of them had been fully in heat, after all, and he knew enough to know that was required. He simply had to keep his distance and make sure that was the case. Perhaps it would be safer to send her away for now? But the thought repelled him. He needed to protect her, even from himself, but he could not bear the thought of her leaving for any reason, even her own safety. She had made him weak, it seemed. He held his head again, staying awake and thinking until the sun rose on the last day of September.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: there will probably not be any chapters released this Monday, so enjoy this Sunday chapter bomb!

21/05/2017 part 1/4

* * *

Rin woke that morning to a gentle knock at her door and hurried quickly to her feet and over to it, her face lit up with joy- but her smile froze in shock to see one of the servants at her door.

The woman noted Rin's awkward look and offered a small, kind smile. "Milord asked me to check on you, miss, since he won't be here for the rest of the week. Are you well? Do you need anything?" Rin mutely shook her head, her face finally falling in disappointment. "you didn't have dinner last night- you should eat breakfast."

Rin let out a soft sigh. "I'm not hungry. But thank you." It was, of course, a lie- she was very hungry. But she was moping and didn't want to leave her room.

The servant woman frowned, hearing the lie easily. "might I interest you in a hot bath, then?" she suggested, and Rin's eyes lit up eagerly in spite of herself. The manor had a very nice bath house with a central tub for soaking that was kept warm at all times by a small, carefully tended fire- it was the closest thing to a hot spring for miles and pure luxury to bathe in. not only that, she needed a bath after yesterday- she was sure she had dirt or something in her hair.

Taking Rin's expression for an answer, the servant smiled a little wider and led Rin to the bath house, though the young woman obviously knew where it was. Rin didn't mind the company until the woman didn't leave when they arrived. "ah…I am used to bathing alone," she commented, blushing slightly. The servant bowed, smiling softly.

"my apologies, Rin-san. Sesshomaru-sama ordered that I should remain with you while he is away, to ensure your protection. This time of year can make the males of our kind very suspicious and jumpy. But if you like, I can wait outside for you and make sure you are not disturbed." Rin nodded, indicating that would be best, and waited for the platinum-blonde servant woman to leave before disrobing and stepping to a washtub to bathe. Once clean, she tied up her hair and climbed into the large central tub, sighing blissfully at the hot water, relaxing in spite of herself.

While Rin soaked, she daydreamed, wondering what Sesshomaru-sama must be doing right now. Had he gone off to his festival as if nothing had happened? It would surprise her more if he hadn't. after the way he'd looked last night, she had little doubt he would want to be as far away from her as possible, at least for a little while. She could only hope he would get over himself and come back eventually. He had to know she wasn't angry at him, or scared of him, didn't he? After all, how could she be upset when she knew he had not been himself…but she did understand all his hesitance to touch her previously. After all, if it had been only his baser instincts and nothing more, she had the feeling he would not have been so gentle with her in the act- she did not have a single mark or bruise or scratch anywhere on her, and the only blood had come from losing her innocence.

Speaking of blood- hers was due in a few more days. Rin did not have nearly the grasp on how cycles and such worked as Kagome or even Sesshomaru did, but she knew she had done everything technically required to have a baby, and one of the ways to tell if that was going to happen was if your blood didn't come. She had a momentary rush of excitement at the thought of being a mother before her mind caught up with her heart and pointed out all the problems with that. First of all, she wouldn't have any sign for several more days, so she couldn't get ahead of herself. Secondly, if he was so ashamed of laying with her, surely he would be even more upset at being a father- and lastly, he had made it clear almost a year ago how much he despised hanyou, and she realized with a shock that of course any child she could offer him would be such. Suddenly the desire to be a mother evaporated like the steam from the top of the pool and she actually gave a small silent prayer that she wasn't pregnant and couldn't be. She gave a slight worried shiver in the toasty warm bathwater and decided she'd soaked long enough.

The servant woman was still waiting outside the bath house with a small, polite smile and got to her feet as Rin emerged with a small thoughtful frown on her face, not looking at the woman. "shall we have a light meal and go to your lessons for the day, Rin-san?" the woman suggested gently. "your morning tutor is waiting for you already."

Rin gave a slightly guilty look and nodded, following the servant and eating somewhat robotically in the empty dining hall before going to her lessons. She went to the porch during her afternoon break to look out into the garden and was surprised to find a bedroll there. Who on earth would want to sleep out on the porch in this weather? The nights were starting to get cold and it sometimes rained overnight. Rin noticed the servant glance at the bedroll knowingly before turning her attention back to the young woman.

"whose is that?" she asked, nodding to the bedding. The servant smiled gently. "it's Sesshomaru-sama's. he will be keeping night watch while I guard you during the day." She stepped off the porch, into the garden, and pointed up to the second floor. "whose window is that?" she asked Rin.

Rin blinked and thought for a moment before her eyes widened in surprise. "that's my window!" she blurted. _So he does care…he wants to protect me, but not tempt himself…_ she felt herself smile a little at the realization, and they went back inside with Rin much happier than she had been that morning.

Sesshomaru did not return until long after the sun had set that day. He noticed his bedroll was laid out with a blanket and something lumpy coiled underneath it, and felt a growl rise in his throat. Who dared disturb his resting place?! He got most of the way up to the porch before he realized it was his moko that Rin had returned to him, as well as one of her blankets. Both were full of her delightful scent and he sighed. A small part of him wanted to toss the blanket away and grind it into the dirt of the garden until the scent was gone- he didn't deserve to enjoy it. But instead he returned his pelt to its rightful position on his shoulder and settled cross-legged onto the bedding, gently picking up the blanket and holding it to his nose, closing his eyes and allowing the scent to soothe him. He had spent the entire day literally running from his problems, pretending he was doing anything useful as he patrolled his territory, almost begging someone to pick a fight with him so he could let off some steam. The night was a little chilly and Sesshomaru was surprised to realize that Rin's window above him was open and he could hear her deep breathing very clearly. She must have moved her futon to the other end of the room, right under the window instead of by his wall. He let out a soft, appreciative hum and settled down to sleep so he could leave before dawn again, before she woke.

Two days after the moonless night, right on schedule, Rin got her blood. Her afternoon tutor allowed her to rest instead of lessons and she sat out by the koi pond for a little while, one of her favorite spots. She gave the servant woman a glare as she caught the woman making a face once again as she caught the whiff of human blood from the girl. "you can always leave me alone for a while, Sayuri. I'm perfectly safe here," Rin quipped irritably.

"I'm sorry, milady, I have my orders." She sighed. "I'm just wondering how to phrase this in my report tonight." Rin grumbled something under her breath and got up. "I'm going to take a nap. Go find something else to do for a while."

Sesshomaru returned with the waxing crescent moon in the night sky, seeming to match the marking on his forehead. As soon as he passed the garden gates he was alarmed to scent Rin's blood on the night air, completely forgetting in that moment that as a human woman that was a normal thing for her. Rin changed the blanket she left on his bedroll out every evening after dinnertime so her scent was fresh for him, and he rushed to it, nearly terrified until he realized what had happened. He turned the blanket over in his hands until he found the tiny spot that so offended his nose. It was so small no doubt Rin would never have noticed it, but it told him all he needed to know. He felt a tiny pang of sorrow that was almost instantly overshadowed by a rush of relief. Rin was safe. Then he felt ashamed for feeling so relieved. He didn't think he should be so relieved when the alternative should really be just as joyous a thing, shouldn't it? It was his duty to take a mate and father at least one child that would become the heir as he took his mother's place as ruler. By the laws, Rin could never be that mate, and she could not give him the heir he needed. He sighed deeply and set the blanket aside, listening to sayuri's report before going to sleep once more.

Rin was sitting out on the porch once more about four days later, watching as the clouds thickened and got a little darker, obscuring the evening sun. it wasn't going to just rain tonight, clearly; it was going to storm. Rin managed to convince sayuri to take Sesshomaru's bedroll inside so it didn't get wet and he didn't try to sleep outside in the weather once it started raining. She shivered a little and headed inside as the wind started to pick up and thunder rolled in the distance. She had never liked storms- they could be very dangerous. She shut her window and moved her futon back against the opposite wall, shivering as rain lashed against it and praying sesshomaru would get home soon…Jaken left a bowl of soup for her outside her door as he still sometimes did, and Rin drank it rather distractedly, not noticing the stripe on the bowl…

By the time Sesshomaru returned to his manor it was pouring rain. He stepped up onto the porch, glanced quickly around to ensure no one was nearby, and put his hands on the wood, quickly shaking himself mostly dry before straightening up and going inside. He went to a closet and changed out of his wet clothes before going upstairs. He made it up the first two before bolting up the rest, hearing Rin whimpering in her room. He stopped himself from throwing open the door and knocked instead. "c-c-come in, milord," her quavering voice answered, and he didn't hesitate another second.

Rin was curled in a ball on her futon, clutching at her stomach, which was burning in pain. Sesshomaru spotted the bowl on a low table nearby her. _Damn it, Jaken!_ He stepped through the door between their rooms and returned in an instant with the vial he'd had before. "here, Rin, you need to drink this quickly." He carefully helped her sit up and drink the concoction, and she breathed easier as the pain faded. A sudden loud crack of thunder made her practically jump into his arms as he knelt beside her. She was shivering in fear of the storm, he supposed. He carefully shifted so he was sitting cross-legged and pulled her gently into his lap, laying her head against his chest and covering her other ear with his hand to block out the sounds of the storm. "it's all right. It's only a storm, and it will pass." He gently stroked her hair as he held her, grateful for the chance to be so near to her again. He felt confident, now that the season was over, that there would be no danger if he wanted to be nearer to her once more. He heard her yawn slightly.

"thank you…" she murmured softly as she dozed off, no doubt a side effect of the medicine she'd taken. _For everything, even if you want to forget it._

Sesshomaru gently kissed the top of Rin's head once he was sure she was asleep. "I'm sorry, Rin," he murmured softly. After a few more moments the week of running himself ragged with very little rest caught up with him, and he simply tipped over sideways and snuggled into the futon, wreathed on all sides by Rin's soothing scent…


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: chapter bomb 21/05/2017 part 2/4

* * *

Rin woke the next morning thinking it was awfully warm in her small bed. She tried to squirm out from under her blankets, thinking it must be that, only to freeze, her eyes flying open, to realize she was trapped by a strong set of arms. She glanced down, seeing the pair of pink stripes on his wrist and the claws on his nearer hand. She was definitely in her bed in her room, but why was he?! She couldn't remember anything from after she'd drunk whatever was in that vial. Had they-? But no, not only was she clothed, she was still fully clothed- apparently, they'd both simply passed out sometime in the middle of the night. She breathed a sigh of relief at that, then wondered what to do, as she could tell she was thoroughly trapped until he woke…

Sesshomaru started to wake with something heavy wrapped securely in his arms, a little confused. He took a deep sniff of the thing nearest to him and put a name to whoever was in his arms, still mostly asleep.

The 'thing nearest to him' was Rin's neck, and she tried not to squeak in surprise when he nuzzled her and mumbled "Rin…" softly in a slightly dreamy tone she'd never heard from him before. She then heard him suck in a sharp breath and did squeak as his arms momentarily tightened as he woke up fully with a shock of realization and some horror. His mind was suddenly whirling with fear, as he couldn't remember what, if anything, had happened last night either. He relaxed a bit in relief to realize they were both still fully clothed, and obviously nothing had happened. "Rin?" he repeated, now questioning as he let her go.

Rather than sitting up right away as she normally would have, Rin decided to wriggle around until she was facing him, and gave a gentle, reassuring smile. "yes, Sesshomaru-sama?" she asked softly. His face was so close to hers now…she could just reach out and kiss him if she wanted to…but she knew it wasn't worth the trouble she'd get in. she saw his eyes widen with surprise as soon as he saw her face and she felt her smile slip away. "what's wrong?"

"ah…n-nothing," he mumbled quickly, reaching to brush her black bangs away from her forehead to be sure of what he saw. His eyes did not deceive him- on Rin's brow sat a purple crescent nearly identical to his own. How had it gotten there? He hadn't done it! Perhaps the mixture had a side effect? "…you just have a new mark on your forehead, that's all."

"a mark?" Rin turned her eyes upward as if she would somehow be able to see her own forehead if she tried hard enough. "but I didn't hurt myself…"

The concern in her tone startled a tiny laugh from him before he could stop it. "No, Rin- it looks like this." He pointed a claw to his own crescent moon and saw her eyes light up with excitement.

"really?" she squeaked eagerly, reaching to rub at her forehead to make sure it wasn't makeup someone had put on as a joke. But her fingers stayed clean. "do…do you think it might be permanent?" she asked eagerly, and saw him frown slightly at her eagerness. Clearly the young woman had no idea of what the mark could have meant…if he had chosen to do what needed to be done to cause that mark to be permanent—if he had taken her, not just to wife, but as his one true mate, an irreversible decision—he didn't even want to consider the consequences. The entire kingdom he was supposed to be heir to would fall, probably. The thought did not disturb him as much as it should have. And after the initial shock of seeing the similar mark, he couldn't deny the faint thought of that was actually a happy one. If Rin was going to fade in mere decades while he lived on for centuries untold- well, didn't he deserve to be as happy as she always seemed to be? After years of watching her and letting her follow him, the only times he'd seen her unhappy were when he had to leave her for whatever reason. When she was younger he'd dismissed it as childlike hero worship, and he grudgingly supposed it was a long-distance friendship when she was in the village. But now there was no excuse to hide behind that would explain why she was so happy to see him all the time, or especially why she trusted him so completely as to still be partly wrapped in his arms, mere inches from being pressed against his body _at that very moment-_

Kami above! He was a fool. He'd seen it for a full year now- she'd admitted how she felt toward him and he'd written it off on being in heat. She had said she'd desired him, only she didn't have the right words to explain! It made perfect sense, now, why she had only pitied him for his lapse in control and not been angry or scared- she truly had wanted something like that to happen. And she had most likely only pitied him because he had been so upset with himself! She must have been worried that he did not feel the same—but did he? That was a whole other nest of rats he wasn't prepared to deal with now. And maybe not ever. His feelings were one thing, but the law was another, and he didn't want to become or end up like his father-

"Sesshomaru-sama?" Rin's concerned voice broke him out of his reverie with a start, and he looked down slightly at her. "are you all right?"

Sesshomaru swallowed thickly and pushed himself to a sitting position. "just fine." She had asked a question- what was it? "that mark- it probably isn't permanent. But I can ask about it." Rin sat up too, and nodded, still looking concerned. She didn't believe him, still seeing the distant look in his golden eyes. She suddenly turned a little pink and ran off to start the day- she wanted to stay and help whatever was wrong, but her body had needs!

By the time Rin had come back, Sesshomaru was in his study, so engrossed in a scroll his nose was almost touching the paper. He had mistakenly left the sliding door between their two rooms wide open so Rin saw him and started to giggle, making him sit up sharply. "are you trying to read that or eat it?" she teased, saying one of the things her tutor said when she held the scrolls she practiced reading with too close to her face. He offered a slight distracted smirk and set the scroll on the table, letting it roll up again. "neither." He noticed she had gotten a hair pin and tied back the middle of her bangs, rather like his mother did, to expose the new marking. He was confused by the faint stir of pride he felt at the sight. "I think we both need a proper break, Rin," he said, getting to his feet quickly. "why don't we go to a market town? You can have a little fun and I'll keep an eye on you."

Rin's eyes lit up with excitement and she actually bounced a little. "that sounds wonderful!" she exclaimed. "should we bring jaken along too, or?" Sesshomaru shook his head immediately.

"no, I don't wish for him to accompany us. It will be just the two of us for today. Would you like that?" he felt his bemused smirk widen a little as she now seemed a little _too_ eager to be going. _How did I never see this before?_ "go and put a jacket on, and maybe another layer or two- the day is going to be cold." He watched her hurry from the room and moved to put his armor on so they could prepare to leave.

They took Ah-Un to get to another trading village a bit farther away than the earlier one. It wasn't as big but had almost as much variety. Leaving the dragon tethered outside in the forest a ways, Sesshomaru followed along behind Rin as she wandered eagerly ahead of him to examine the wares. He noticed her slow slightly as they reached the thick crowd of people, and she reached a hand slightly back toward him. He regarded it for a moment until she let it drop once more, distracted by a booth with very fine hair pins.

Rin zeroed in on a particularly nice hair pin, reaching for it to look closer, and was shocked when the merchant hissed at her and waved her away. She recoiled in surprise and offense and Sesshomaru was beside her in an instant, glaring. "is something wrong, man? Are you to deny service to a paying customer?" he demanded of the merchant, who scowled darkly.

"I make it a point not to serve youkai. Go away."

Rin looked bewildered as Sesshomaru turned her away toward another booth. "but…I'm not one…" she murmured softly. She had already forgotten about the mark on her forehead and had no idea why the man had mistaken her for a youkai. There were more hairpins across the street, guarded by a kindly older gentleman. As they moved across toward the booth, a mother pulled her young child away from Rin, looking scared and distrustful. _Why is everyone looking at me like that?!_ Rin wondered, growing upset. She was used to humans often giving such looks to Sesshomaru, but the women had deliberately met eyes with Rin, not him.

Sesshomaru spotted the same hairpin that Rin had been eyeing at the other booth, and picked it up to examine it more closely. He glanced to Rin and finally noticed her distracted glance as she watched the crowd around her with a small frown. "do not pay attention to the closed-minded fools," he told her, carefully putting the pin in her hair to check how it contrasted with her raven locks. He offered a tiny smile, hoping to cheer her up. She returned the small smile with a distracted one of her own, then sighed. "why do they look at me like that? I'm not scary-" she frowned again as a small boy smiled up at her, saw her face, then ran off to his mother down the street, scared.

She turned back to him as she felt a finger under her chin, and he tipped her head up gently. "it is because of the mark you now bear. The humans know that a youkai that can take a human-like form is very powerful indeed, and they fear that." Rin sighed softly again, and the merchant smiled cheerfully at her.

"my, my, my, what a lovely mark you have young lady. I hope you use that new pin to keep your bangs up and show it off." Rin smiled more genuinely and nodded.

"if you wish, Rin, we can leave, or go elsewhere—"

"no, thank you, Sesshomaru-sama. This is very educational for me." Rin moved off down the street to examine more of the wares for sale, her stride becoming more fluid and regal with each successive step. She smirked a little as the crowd of people parted in front of her, and was slightly surprised to hear some of the people whispering that she was a lady. Sesshomaru followed a little ways behind her, keeping watch for any threats. He was slightly shocked at the sight when Rin turned to look back over her shoulder at him, eyes bright with happiness and the moon prominent on her brow. With her ears covered by her black hair it was easy to pretend they were pointed instead of round…she was beautiful to him, almost beyond words, and she looked every inch the lady the humans said she was, as those rudimentary etiquette lessons had paid off. He felt a smile tug once again at the corners of his mouth and this time he let it show, watching her whole face light up in response as she grinned.

"come on; I smell dumplings nearby!"


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: chapter bomb part 3/ 4

 _Someone_ requested they return to the dumpling shop. Ok then.

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Rin was surprised as Sesshomaru changed her lesson consist and schedule after the day they'd gone to the market. There were many more lessons on etiquette and some on history and protocol in a court setting rather than her reading and writing. The sparring lessons stayed, but seemed more relaxed, more of a way to let off steam than anything else. Winter came and went and it was the beginning of march before Rin knew it. Each day was full of things to be doing and she cherished every moment spent with Sesshomaru, who seemed to have warmed up more and more as the weather grew colder.

Rin was sitting with him in the dining hall at lunch on the first of march. The mark she'd had had long since faded within the month it had appeared. She noticed he was distracted about something and coughed a little to get his attention. "is something wrong, milord? You seem very distant today."

He nodded a little and went back to his food. "my mother sent me a message."

"oh?"

"an…invitation," he clarified, "to the whelping festival. Word must have gotten back to her that I did not attend the Running this past fall. She must have assumed the best."

"the best of what?" Rin was a little confused, not making the connection as readily as Sesshomaru had.

"she did not state it outright in her message, but I know she assumed I did not attend the festival because I found a mate, and she expects me to attend the whelping because I will be having a child," he clarified, gritting his teeth. The entire situation was ridiculous.

It didn't help that Rin started giggling at his dilemma. He growled softly. "this is serious, Rin. I can't just leave it unanswered. But I cannot go and leave you here unprotected, and I cannot take you with me without my mother assuming the worst of you- of both of us."

Rin's face fell as she finally saw what a situation they were in. "but why couldn't I go? Surely you can protect me like always?" she said, confident in his abilities.

He shook his head. "InuYoukai may seem rare, but it's only because we don't meddle with humans. There will be well over a hundred of us in the palace, no doubt—everything from servants and guards to the daimyo lords and ladies of each of the eight clans. If any one of them so much as suspects you of being a consort of any male there, they have the right by law to kill you without trial. And keeping you constantly at my side to prevent that would only make things worse for me, as it would be clear who you belonged to." He sighed deeply. "the festival is a very joyous thing, and I would that you could see the celebration, but it simply isn't safe."

Rin gave him a soft smile and gently patted his hand where it rested on the table. "I'm sure you'll think of something, Sesshomaru-sama. You always do."

He nodded and returned to his food thoughtfully. Rin's confidence in his abilities rivalled his own. He would have to think of something…

In the end, he decided to inform his mother outright that he did not have a mate and did not wish to attend the festival. He did not bother explaining why he had not attended the Running- that was none of her business, as much as she liked to pretend everything was. He sent the reply with some apprehension, but his mother was suspiciously gracious about it all. She asked if he wanted to come to the palace in april, just to visit, since she hadn't seen him in quite some time, and he felt he had no choice but to agree, lest she decide to drop in unannounced.

The day before Sesshomaru was to go to the palace his mother lived in, he decided to take Rin shopping. They returned to the trading village they'd visited several times before just for a day to relax before what would undoubtedly be one of the most stressful days of Sesshomaru's long life.

Rin walked side by side with Sesshomaru down the market street, enjoying the surprisingly warm weather on that april day, a huge smile on her face as she surveyed the new wares that had recently come in from the traders. She found a fancy set of painted serving chopsticks and showed them to him, grinning. They didn't buy anything throughout the morning and Rin started tugging him toward the dumpling shop she loved to eat at every time they visited the village. He gave her an indulgent look and let her take his hand and tug him eagerly along the road.

Sesshomaru suddenly became aware of someone following them down the street through the crowd. Suspicious that it was one of his mother's minions, he stopped Rin short with a gentle tug and turned sharply around to face the threat- a small human boy.

"you've been following us." The boy cowered from the Daiyoukai's stern gaze and sharp words. "why?"

"i-i-it's just, I've never seen such a beautiful Lady before," the boy stammered, turning a painful shade of red. Rin was a little flattered at the comment and gave the boy a sweet smile. Sesshomaru gave Rin a momentary look of pride, subconsciously tightening his grip on her small hand a little. "yes, she is very beautiful," he agreed softly.

The boy turned to Rin, a begging look in his eyes. "please, miss, may I have a strand of hair to remember you by?" he asked plaintively. Sesshomaru opened his mouth to stop Rin from doing what the boy wanted, but she'd already combed her free hand through her raven strands to find a loose one and offered it to the boy. "thank you!" he blurted excitedly, scampering off. Rin smiled cheerfully after the boy and Sesshomaru sighed, knowing he was simply being overprotective.

"come on," she said, tugging at him once more. "I want the vegetable dumplings this time!" he followed, buying tea for the both of them to go along with the dumplings Rin asked for.

Meanwhile, the boy brought the hair he'd gotten from the youkai's woman to his master. He hadn't asked why the man needed it, but just done as he was told. The man nodded in satisfaction and sent the boy on his way, beginning his spell…

Rin was munching happily at the dumplings when she suddenly stopped, frowning, and set the rest of the dumpling back on her plate, uneaten. Sesshomaru noticed this immediately and frown softly. Rin winced, rubbing at her chest. "ah…my chest hurts…" she murmured softly.

Sesshomaru leapt over the low table to catch Rin as she suddenly tipped backwards, her eyes rolling back in her head with a small gasp. He managed to stop her head from hitting the ground and quickly scooped her into his arms, tossing a few coins on the table and hurrying out, feeling her breathing shallow out as her heart raced with pain and her skin started to grow cold. He took Ah-Un back, urging the two-headed dragon to greater speed, desperate to get her home where she was safe so he could figure out what the matter was…

It was soon clear when he laid her gently in his own bed that she was worsening rapidly. Sesshomaru didn't know enough about humans to know what was wrong, and neither did his healer. He went out in search of a human healer who would know better how to help Rin, and quickly encountered a wandering monk. He knew there was a monk that travelled with his younger brother for some time and settled down in the same village, and hoped that this monk would have some medical knowledge as well, since he smelled of herbs. He explained the situation as briefly as possible, and the man could see the youkai's honesty and agreed to come along quickly.

The monk went straight to Rin to examine her once they reached the manor once again. Sesshomaru stood stock-still by the door, forcing himself not to pace with worry. He could not let her die, but she seemed so very sick all of a sudden…

Once the monk had finished his quick assessment, he turned to the Daiyoukai, bowing deeply. "milord, there is little I can do," the monk began. "but…"

"but?" Sesshomaru seized upon the word of doubt like a lifeline. "but what?"

"well, there is a procedure I know…it is very risky…"

"spit it out!" he barked, the edges of his eyes beginning to turn red with his desperate anger. As far as he could tell, Rin was dying right in front of him, and he would do anything if it meant she would live.

"I need the life force of a lesser youkai, or a few drops of blood or a hair from a Daiyoukai like yourself. I could use the life force from this to sustain her and heal her." The monk had barely finished explaining before Sesshomaru had ripped out several strands of his calf-length white hair and held it out.

"do it."

The monk was momentarily shocked at the speed of the agreement, and took the hairs carefully. "now, Milord, I must ask you to leave. The process is a delicate one." Sesshomaru frowned darkly, but quickly left and shut the door behind him, settling down against the wall opposite. He heard muttering and a rhythmic chanting, but had no idea the 'monk' was actually sealing the rest of the curse his master had begun on the young woman. When he was done, he draped a veil over the girl's face with a dark smirk, then stepped out and bowed deeply to the youkai, who got to his feet in an instant. "she will be fine, now, but must not be disturbed until sunrise. I will offer prayers for her survival."

Sesshomaru frowned darkly but nodded to the monk, indicating the man was dismissed.

Jaken ran up the stairs as the man departed, panting in worry. "Sesshomaru-sama! What has happened to Rin?" he blurted. "is she all right?"

"I'm…not exactly sure…" Sesshomaru frowned concernedly.

Jaken squawked in alarm. "not sure?! How can you not be sure?!" the imp demanded of his master. He was swiftly clutching a bump on his head.

"I'm not sure, because the monk ordered me out of the room," he growled impatiently.

"well then, why don't you go and look?" Jaken asked reasonably. He hurried over to Sesshomaru's door, only to fly across and hit the opposite wall with a sharp ZAP. "ah! A barrier here?" he yelped.

"yes…he must have set one up to protect her from me. We cannot disrupt her, Jaken. At all." Sesshomaru shifted to sit back against the wall, staring at his door with a mask of calm that belied his inner turmoil.

"ohhh…if only we could at least _see_ her…" the imp whined, walking to Rin's door and managing to nudge it open a little. A clawed hand grabbed his Suikan and dragged him back, and Jaken stared nervously at his master's hard face.

"I said _no,_ Jaken. If we bother her before sunrise, she may get worse and die." The imp squirmed.

"That monk is not to be trusted! He dared to place a youkai barrier in the very house of a Daiyoukai lord!" he blurted, earning himself another lump on the head.

"You will bite your tongue and bear the waiting as I must." Jaken wilted in his master's grip and Sesshomaru set him down surprisingly gently. "when dawn comes," he said, still staring at his door as if he could see Rin through it, "I will allow you to enter first."

Jaken immediately bowed and thanked his lord, running off for food and tea so that they could sit vigil overnight.

The barrier Sesshomaru could sense blocking all entrances to his room broke just as the sun cleared the horizon the next morning, and, true to his word, he allowed Jaken to go in first as he slid the door open. Rin's head was covered in a veil, he saw, and her hands were curled loosely into fists. "she is warm again, milord, and she seems well," jaken piped, causing Rin to groan slightly and stir for the first time since the day before. Sesshomaru closed the rest of the distance between them in a heartbeat and knelt down beside her, pulling the veil off and turning away to dip a rag in a bucket of water that had been left there. He turned back-

"what in the seven hells?..."


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: chapter dump part 4/4

* * *

Nothing could possibly have prepared Sesshomaru for what he saw when he turned back to Rin with a damp cloth to wipe her brow. Her face was no different, but her raven locks had been replaced. Her hair was iron-grey and the crescent marking she'd sported months before had returned above her brows. Atop her head sat two dainty triangles he instantly recognized as her ears. They were turned away from him because of his exclamation. Jaken was sitting by Rin's hand and picked it up a little, surprised to find small, sharp claws at the ends of her thin fingers.

Rin opened her eyes after a moment, surprised to find Sesshomaru hovering over her, seemingly frozen with a shocked look on his still face. _Why is he looking at me like that NOW?!_ She picked one hand up from the futon and reached into her mouth, finding the point of a brand-new fang. "ah!"

 _What's going on? Did that monk turn her into a Hanyou somehow? How could that be possible?!_ Sesshomaru's mind whirled as his body stayed frozen in shock.

Rin struggled into a sitting position, her newly golden-amber eyes staring in concern at him. "Sesshomaru-sama? Are you all right?"

Jaken looked up as Rin sat upright and jumped for joy momentarily. "oh, Rin, you're alive! You're- WHAT THE-!" he blurted in horror, scampering backward several paces. The exclamation seemed to break Sesshomaru out of his inaction and he swiftly moved away from Rin, staring down at her with what could almost be called contempt. Rin reached one delicately clawed hand toward him as he moved away, but he made sure she was out of reach of him. He couldn't help his instinctive reaction- she smelled and looked just like a hanyou, a dirty-blooded mixture of human and youkai. Rin stared up at him, hand still outstretched, yearning, her ears pinned down as she started to tear up as if she would cry.

"Sesshomaru-sama…?" she murmured in a begging tone, clearly a bit scared at his reaction. He turned to go into her room as swiftly as he'd come into his own, shutting it behind him and starting to shake as he was suddenly overwhelmed. What was going on? He didn't understand anything.

Rin got to her feet in an effort to follow him, and seemed to blink and be at the shoji that separated their two rooms. She finally realized something was very wrong. She looked down at her hands, seeing the claws, and started to pant as she got more scared. She pulled her hair in front of her, seeing its color change, then put her hands on her head in a panic- and found her ears. She shrieked in terror and disbelief. "What's going on?!" she yelled in fear. "sesshomaru-sama! Help me!" she begged, shaking.

Sesshomaru, standing just on the other side of the door, heard everything. He swallowed thickly, completely as confused as Rin herself was. He had no answers, and he couldn't help her. He couldn't even face her now that she looked so different—so _wrong._ "Rin…don't…don't come in," he said softly, trying to control his own shaking, one hand on the wall as if to hold himself upright.

Rin gasped at his tone of voice- there was such upset, almost hatred in the tone- he had never, ever used such a tone with her. That sounded like the way he spoke to his brother, or to his enemies. "please, Sesshomaru-sama, what's wrong? What's happening to me?" she begged, needing answers.

He couldn't give them. "just don't come in," he ordered more firmly, not hearing the edge in his voice that she did. He had to figure out what was going on, and sort out his feelings- he couldn't help her right now.

Rin started to cry at his sharp tone and left to find a mirror. She stared for a long moment in shock at her reflection- the golden eyes, the greyish-silver hair, the ears, and the moon…she opened her mouth to see tiny, dainty fangs. "this has to be a dream…" she whispered to her reflection. "please…let this be a dream!" but she knew it wasn't. it was a waking nightmare. She understood, now, his change in attitude, and the anger in his voice- she was a hanyou, the thing he probably despised most in all the world. She had no idea how it could have happened, but it had, and she had no idea if it could be reversed, either. She found a jacket to cover her hair and ears after she changed her clothes and tried to go back and talk to him. Surely they could figure something out?

When he knew Rin had left, he returned from her room into his own, surprised that her scent actually hadn't changed all that much. It was simply blended almost in half with his own scent. He sat down at his desk and closed his eyes, rubbing them slightly. "how…how could this happen?" he asked himself in frustrated confusion. He had asked for her life to be saved—not this! What if it couldn't be reversed? Could he live with her being a hanyou, so different from the Rin he cherished? He had not wanted this at all. He growled lowly in frustration, clenching his fist. Then he heard the door behind him slide open slightly.

Rin stepped into his room, the jacket still covering her head and hair and staring at the ground, as she could do nothing to hide her eyes from him. She clung to the wood of the door's frame with one hand. "S-S-Sesshomaru-sama?" she stammered nervously. She gasped as the frame broke into splinters under her nervous grip.

"Rin, I told you not to come in." he could not look at her, not even in her direction, but his voice was a little gentler now. If he didn't look he could almost pretend it hadn't happened, that it was still just his beautiful human Rin and not some corrupted half-breed that had tarnished her soothing scent…

Rin had been staring in shocked horror at the fat splinters of wood in her hand from her excessive strength, but when he spoke she looked up, seeing his back still turned. "why not?" she asked softly in hurt, teary-eyed again. "can you not even look at me now?"

He sighed deeply, mournfully. "Rin…I have a lot to think about right now." _Let me mourn your loss, in case this cannot be fixed…_

Her hurt became much stronger and she suddenly cast off the jacket, letting her new hair and ears show, and looked up from the floor directly at him. "that's not true at all, is it?" she barked sharply, angry.

He turned to her and locked eyes with her, unable to stop himself from rising to her challenge. "it IS true, Rin. Why would I have reason to lie to you?" he asked coldly, swallowing a growl.

"but it's not my fault I'm changed! I can hear it in your voice—you hate me now, don't you?" she stared him down just as directly as he was staring at her, unafraid of him.

"RIN!" he barked sharply, sitting up straighter in a mildly threatening tensioned pose, "I think it best if you leave."

The instant he raised his voice, she dropped her gaze and bowed her head, but when he was done speaking she looked up again defiantly. "I'll leave, all right. You don't want to see me, and you don't have to." She hurried out of the room before she could start crying heavily.

Sesshomaru held his head in his hands once she was gone, deeply regretting the confrontation almost instantly. He didn't want to raise his voice or make her cower. He didn't know what to do about her being a hanyou, but it shouldn't affect him so strongly, should it? He had hated humans for far longer, and wanted nothing to do with them- until he met Rin, and everything changed. She was special to him, in a category all her own, and he cared for her deeply. Her physical appearance changing shouldn't affect that at all. Wasn't she still the same woman, with the same soul that had made him save her all those years ago? That had made him turn from his quest for power? He regretted that he had not been strong enough to ask his mother himself to bring Rin back, and jaken had had to do it on his behalf. The relief he'd felt as she'd opened her eyes, breathing once more, was indescribable. He knew then that he would give anything in the world- even his own life- to be sure Rin was safe and well. He had finally found something worth protecting. Yet still, though she had lived under his roof for a year and a half, he could barely admit to himself that he might love her. He did not want to deal with the pain of knowing that they could never be together the way he desired because of the cruel laws of his people. He couldn't bear the thought of being constantly fearful for Rin's life and the lives of any children they may one day have…

While Sesshomaru worried, Rin packed. She hadn't even considered he was only asking her to leave the room. He'd been so angry and hateful, she knew she didn't want to stay near him any longer. "I know when I'm not wanted," she muttered to herself, wiping at her tears as they fell thickly down her cheeks. She had a small bundle of spare clothing and put a pair of narrower working hakama on so she could travel more easily. Jaken caught up to her as she moved to head out the front door.

"wait, Rin!" Jaken yelled, running forward to grab the young woman's ankle desperately. "Rin, please don't go!" he begged her.

"let go!" she yelped, giving him a light kick and forgetting her far greater than normal strength. She gasped in surprise as he hit the far wall and was relieved when he popped right back up again, unharmed. "I'm not staying here, Jaken."

"I beg you to reconsider! Just give Sesshomaru-sama a little time—I'm sure he'll warm up to you!" jaken bowed to her and Rin's ears pinned down in annoyance.

"no, he won't!" Rin's voice suddenly turned quiet and she looked out into the garden, lit by morning light. "he never changes his mind about anything, Jaken- you know that better than I do." She took a step out onto the porch. "goodbye, Jaken…"

"Rin, please, don't go!" Jaken begged again, tears running down his little face.

Rin sighed softly and turned to the imp. "you can come with me if you like. But I'm not staying, understand?" she frowned after a moment, realizing something. "Jaken, could you fetch me a knife or something? I can't go alone and unarmed."

Jaken knew he couldn't leave and follow Rin, as much as he might want to, so he went back inside. He had been with Sesshomaru on the day he'd commissioned a wakizashi from a well known town blacksmith. He had been planning on presenting the blade to Rin on the upcoming children's day, when she turned seventeen. He could fetch that, as it had been delivered a few days ago. When he reached the armory, he noticed a far nicer short blade than that one. It looked much like tenseiga, only shorter. It seemed to glow with unused power and without hesitation Jaken reached for it instead, feeling it far better for Rin to have a blade that matched her- and as a hanyou she could wield a demon blade with relative ease. He presented it to her and she gave a watery smile as she tied it at her waist within easy reach. Then she knelt down and grabbed the little imp in a tight hug, crying afresh.

"i-if…he does change his mind…he'll come find me, okay?" she said, as much to herself as to him. He nodded. She ran toward the garden wall and nimbly leapt over it rather than going through the gate.

Rin ran for most of the day, until she was distracted around mid-afternoon by frying fish and rather familiar scents…she moved through the trees, sniffing and trying to figure out what it was that was so familiar until she bodily ran into someone, falling backwards with a squeak to land on her rear.

"Hey, watch it!" InuYasha barked, ears pinning down with annoyance. "…who the hell are you?"


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Saturday teaser chapter! Woo hoo!

Anyone who wants to contribute to the next week's plot (minor points or small scenes) leave a review with your idea! I read them all!

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InuYasha was staring distrustfully down at the girl with narrowed eyes and a hand on his hip, resting above the hilt of his sword. "I said, who are you?" he repeated more slowly as the girl stared open-mouthed at him.

"I…I…" she stammered, shocked at what had just happened. She swallowed and blurted, "you're InuYasha!" suddenly as her brain made the connection between her eyes and nose. He scoffed.

"I know who _I_ am, stupid! I asked who you were!"

"you don't recognize me?" she asked worriedly, sitting up better and moving to stand once more. "I'm Rin…"

"Rin?" he relaxed in surprise, sniffing suspiciously and looking her over closer. "Sesshomaru's Rin?" he suddenly looked around, hand back on sword, on guard. "is he here?" he demanded sharply.

Rin put her hands out in a calming gesture, her ears folding down once again. "No! no, he's not. I…I ran away from him, because of this." She flicked an ear for emphasis, gesturing to her face with all its new looks. "he told me to leave, so I did."

"hmph. Figures." InuYasha relaxed a little once again, seeming distracted by something else entirely. He perked up at the sound of footsteps and Rin turned slightly to look behind him, seeing Kagome.

"Kagome-Sama! You're here too!" Rin blurted, hurrying toward the clearly bewildered miko for a hug. She took a quick step back but Rin managed to hug her anyway and Kagome was able to realize who it was.

"Rin? What's happened to you, sweetie?" she asked, returning the hug gently before holding the girl at arms' length and looking her up and down critically. Rin glanced at InuYasha smugly. _See, she can recognize me._

"Kagome! Where's-" InuYasha began, looking concerned. She glanced up and shook her head lightly.

"he's with Kaede. She can handle him." She looked back to Rin, who was looking very curious. "now, come on, tell me what happened! You look like a hanyou now."

"it's…a long story…" Rin began reluctantly. "and I don't really know most of it. I was just out with Sesshomaru-sama yesterday, shopping, we stopped for food and I got sick and fell unconscious…then this morning I woke up like this…" she looked up at kagome again, her eyes a little watery.

Kagome nodded as if she understood, though she really didn't. "why aren't you with him still?" she asked gently. Rin's new puppy ears drooped sadly.

"…he told me to leave…so I did." She didn't like having to repeat those words, but they were the bare truth. "I guess he couldn't deal with me being a hanyou, and he doesn't know how it happened either." Kagome nodded once more.

"well, I just came to fetch InuYasha because lunch is ready. Why don't you join us for a meal?" Rin perked up at the Miko's words and nodded eagerly. The Hanyou man sighed slightly grouchily.

"Kagome, you shouldn't even be this far out from the village. You have people to take care of, not to mention your own condition-" he reached to wrap an arm around her as the three of them turned for the village, but she swatted lightly at his arm.

"Inu-Yasha!" she said in her trademark warning tone, making him flinch nervously. She glared at him for a moment. "We've been through this. I'm fine. You know you're being too overprotective. And he's big enough to be fine without me for a little while." He twisted one ear back and looked away with his nose in the air and a "hmmph!"

Rin stared between the two of them in complete confusion, wondering what they were talking about, and who they were talking about. Komori, Miroku and Sango's son, had already been four years old when she'd left the village a year and a half ago, and as far as Rin knew sango hadn't been pregnant again, though she could have had another child since then. And what was this about Kagome's condition? She looked just as healthy as ever, so she definitely wasn't sick at all, that Rin could tell. She knew that sometimes women could become weak at certain times of year as they grew older, but that was usually due to demonic influence and Kagome would never fall prey to such things. She shrugged, putting it out of her mind and following them to the delicious scent of fried fish and well-cooked rice.

When they reached the hut, InuYasha pulled his sword, Tessaiga, from his hakama ties and placed it beside the door, out of his way but within easy reach. Rin beamed as Kagome gave her a dish of rice and a fried fish to eat. It was just like old times, like the last year and a half never existed. Here she was, sitting with her friends, eagerly awaiting her Sesshomaru-sama, just like always…

The fish she'd taken a bite of was suddenly dry and difficult to swallow. She gently set it down on her bowl of rice in her lap. She couldn't pretend nothing had happened. Everything had happened! She'd well and truly fallen in love with the stoic Daiyoukai lord, and he had begun to return her affections over the past few months. No place could be home that her Sesshomaru-sama wasn't in. she couldn't stay upset with him- his reaction to her new looks was only to be expected, really. And perhaps Jaken was right—he had to be!—and Sesshomaru-sama would change his mind for her, like he had done in the past with humans. Either way, she knew she could never be happy without him, and she had to try…

"Rin, is everything all right?" Kagome asked, concerned as she saw the girl not eating. Rin nodded and finished the food quickly.

"Thank you for the meal, but I must be going."

"oh! But you just got here!" Kagome whined softly. "can't you at least stay the night with us, or something?" Rin shook her head and stood, leaving the bowl behind and leaving, intent on going back to the manor- if she could remember where it was, that is…

Night had fallen and Rin was convinced she must be going in the wrong direction, as the stars were blocked by low, woolly clouds that promised rain by morning. Something shifted in the undergrowth of the forest she was passing through and she gasped, swivelling to face the noise sharply. "who's there? I warn you, I'm armed!" she barked into the gloom that wasn't nearly as dark as it would have been to her human eyes. Another bush rustles right in front of her and a lesser demon stepped out, baring monstrous fangs. "what do you want?!" Rin demanded.

"that wakizashi you have. It's powerful. Oh, my, yes. Very powerful." The oni licked its gruesome fangs. "it's wasted on a mix-breed like you. Hand it over."

Rin bristled, growling, and drew the dagger, shocked to see a familiar faint green glow emanating from the small, elegant blade. It reminded her strongly of a sort of mix between tenseiga and Bakusaiga, Sesshomaru-sama's two blades- it had nothing of the awful Tokijin in it, only a calm destructive power and a desire to protect who wielded it. She held it firmly, remembering her lessons. "this was given to me, and it is mine. You can't have it."

Suddenly, the Oni attacked her, and Rin put every ounce of her training into the fight of her life, barely able to land a hit on the extremely fast creature as it tried to make confetti of her. Every time the blade she held so much as touched him, it seemed to burn him like acid or poison might, though somehow it never did the same to Rin, even though it touched her bare skin almost as often. She didn't have time to puzzle over this as she swung and slashed and parried and dodged as fast as she could manage. The Oni's speed gradually slowed and he finally collapsed from exhaustion. Rin almost dealt a killing blow by instinct and dint of her training, but held back at the last second, the blade inches from the creature's heart. "Leave me alone," she ordered before straightening and sheathing the blade again, walking away. Even if she was a hanyou now, she was not going to kill anyone. It wasn't her nature, and she swore to herself it never would be. She started looking for the path back to the manor again, or at least some shelter for the night, as obviously she wasn't near enough to find it. She settled herself in the fork of a large tree, feeling safer off the ground, and sighed, looking up through the leaves at the gradually clearing night sky. One or two stars twinkled weakly back. "Sesshomaru-sama…please come find me…"

* * *

It was after lunch time when Sesshomaru finally really registered that Rin was gone. He was furious with Jaken for allowing her to leave and furious with himself for taking so long to notice. He wrote an urgent letter to his mother that he would have to postpone their meeting due to a personal crisis, then wanted to head out after her, but the miles she'd covered had been rained on between the manor and wherever she'd ended up, making it nearly impossible to track her and figure out which way she went. He searched in every direction possible for a lead, and found nothing. He considered perhaps she had gone back to kaede's village, before realizing she probably did not know the way, not to mention it was very distant, and unless she ran flat out in exactly the right direction she'd never make it before nightfall. He didn't account for her newfound speed in his calculations.

Sesshomaru sat on the porch as the sun set, watching the clouds roll in as rain began to fall lightly for the second time that day, washing the traces of her scent from the garden she loved so much. He sighed deeply and looked up, seeing a star or two appear as the twilight darkened. "Rin…I am sorry…" he murmured softly, wishing she could hear him. "please, come back…come home…"


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: chapter bomb part 1 of ?

Warning: feels and implied 'woohoo'... so yeah.

* * *

Rin wandered for several days through the countryside, stopping at every village and manor she found on her way back to Sesshomaru. She was chased out of some villages and welcomed in others- those that knew InuYasha were usually kinder to her than those that didn't. she was able to get food, but never shelter, not that she would have trusted them enough anyway. She camped up trees in the forests, finding it the safest place, and her wakizashi was always at her hip. She was dismayed as she travelled to find that the Oni she'd fought wasn't the only one intent on the fancy short sword she had. She ran when she could and fought when she couldn't, but never killed any of her attackers, just as she'd promised herself.

As she headed for yet another gated manor near sundown on the third day she'd been out, she started to feel as if something was wrong with her. She hadn't gotten dinner, so she supposed that was to blame for her sudden weakness. She'd begun to rely on her sense of smell as an early-warning system, but it seemed to not be working now, and her hearing and sight were dulling as the sun went down. When it vanished behind the horizon completely, a wave of exhaustion suddenly hit Rin and she fell to her hands and knees, trembling, suddenly feeling almost blind and deaf in the forest's twilight.

Sesshomaru at first thought he was imagining things as the scent drifted through his open window after the sun went down. He took another cautious sniff, then a very deep breath, getting to his feet and stepping to the window. _It can't be…_ without another thought he leapt directly from his open window and out over the manor's garden wall, rushing into the forest after the scent he'd so longed for these past days- Rin's human scent.

Rin gasped in shocked fright at a flash of white through the deep gloom of the forest, barely lit by the starry sky and three-day waxing crescent moon. She got quickly back to her feet and drew her blade once more. "don't come near me! I warn you, I'm armed!" she said in a slightly shaky voice, trembling. She gasped again as she realized the beautiful wakizashi she'd become used to looked like nothing but an ordinary steel blade- it was showing none of its awesome power for her now. She gripped it tighter and looked at the trees nervously where the flash of white had disappeared.

Sesshomaru stared at the young woman before him, who was staring nervously in his general direction and brandishing his old wakizashi, Chiidokuga- the only sword totosai had ever made for him, at his father's request. Since it had been made from one of his milk fangs that he'd lost as he grew up, he thought it would be weak, and had never used it. He hadn't even noticed it was missing from the armory, in fact. He felt a twinge of pride seeing the girl standing in perfect form, awaiting an attack so she could defend, just as he'd taught her to do. Then he finally took in the rest of her. Black hair, and cinnamon eyes, and normal, human ears…and her scent…

 _She…she's normal…_

Rin looked up sharply as the bushes in front of her rustled, but was shocked by who emerged. "Rin," intoned the white-haired Daiyoukai she'd already begun to despair ever seeing again. It was only her months of training that allowed her to sheathe her blade and not merely drop it from her badly shaking hands as her eyes began to water in relief. She could barely make out that he wasn't wearing his armor nor carrying his swords, meaning the nearby manor must finally be home! She sniffled and took a step toward him, then another, and ran the rest of the way into his arms, crying and trying not to sob in joy that she was finally back where she belonged.

Sesshomaru wrapped his long arms around Rin's slight frame gently, holding her close to him to comfort her as much as himself. She was solid. She was real. He bent his head slightly to nuzzle her neck, taking in as much of her soothing scent as he could, breathing her name once more in confirmation, trembling slightly himself. He hadn't realized just how awfully he'd missed her in just the space of a few days!

Rin looked up as he straightened, looking down at her with a gentle smile, and returned the smile with one of her own. Suddenly deciding to act on a whim, she reached up to kiss his chin, the highest point she could reach without getting on tiptoe- but her eyes went wide as she felt gentle lips under her own, rather than skin. It lasted only a moment, but when he reopened his eyes Rin saw Sesshomaru looked just as confused at his actions as she did- but not the least bit repentant. She was even more surprised to realize that, despite what they'd done in the past, that was the first time they'd properly kissed. She smiled a little wider, but another rustle in the undergrowth- probably just a bird or mouse- startled Rin and made her jump slightly. Sesshomaru's arms tightened for a moment, then shifted, and she felt her legs knocked out from under her at the knees so he could pick her up and carry her back to the manor, where she belonged.

Jaken was sweeping the front porch with a tiny broom when Sesshomaru suddenly appeared in the garden in front of him, making him jump. As Jaken looked up, he realized his master wasn't alone! "RIN!" he jumped for joy and started crying, reaching up as if to hug the girl. Sesshomaru gently set the young woman back on her feet and she bent down to let the little imp hug her and blubber over her like a worried uncle. "I'm so glad you're back! I was so worried about you- it rained after you ran off and we couldn't figure out where you'd gone!" he kept carrying on for long enough that Rin got embarrassed by his commotion, then he finally let go and wiped his eyes. "I'll go make you some tea," he said, hurrying off suddenly.

Rin got back to her feet and turned slightly to find Sesshomaru standing behind her and staring at her with a seemingly proud gaze and a small, genuinely joyous smile on his features. The look changed his face completely, and Rin had to admit it was for the better. She took a step closer to him and was overjoyed as his gentle arms wrapped around her once more. "Rin…I have missed you," he admitted softly, moving one hand to caress her cheek. She leaned into the gentle touch and his smile widened a little.

"I've missed you as well. I'm very sorry for running away from you. I wasn't thinking." She looked up into his eyes, cinnamon meeting gold, seeing her honesty and even her love reflected back at her.

"I am also sorry for my rash actions. I should never have ordered you away when you needed me." His smile was gone, replaced with concern for her. "it pained me that I could not follow you because of my own foolishness." He rubbed her cheek gently with his thumb, then shifted and pulled her closer to him once more until her arms touched both their chests. She gently reached to trace the sharp pink stripes on his cheek with one hand. He let out a soft hum of contentment and she felt her face grow hot with a blush, but she didn't care. "we should go inside. It's getting late, and you need to rest."

She reluctantly stepped back and he let her go. She started to go to her room as usual, but realized she didn't want to be away from him for even a moment. She hesitated in the hall between the two doors.

"Rin?"

"ah…may I come in with you?" she asked timidly. She could see that his door had been replaced since she'd broken it a few days prior. He nodded mutely, secretly glad she'd asked, and she hurried in before he could change his mind. She settled onto the futon and smiled at the tea tray on the low table- it was very fresh, and must have been the one Jaken had gone after. She looked up in mild surprise when Sesshomaru settled himself right beside her and started to pour the tea for her and for himself. He offered her a cup and she took it, warming her hands.

"I realized something, while you were away, Rin," he said softly, staring into his cup of tea. She looked up at him, listening attentively. "I realized that it didn't matter that you weren't a youkai, or that you'd been turned into a hanyou. It didn't matter you were human or what you were." He looked over at her. "what mattered was that you were by my side where you belong." Rin turned red again at his words. "I want you to stay, Rin—stay no matter what. Consequences be damned, I want you by my side as long as you may live." Sesshomaru felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from his chest as soon as the words left his lips. There was no taking those words back now, and even if there was a way he wouldn't take it.

Rin was silent in shock for several moments. She'd dreamed of hearing such a declaration, but she'd never hoped to hear it in real life. She drank her tea quickly for something to do, then set the cup down, resting her hands on the low table. One strong hand reached to take hers gently and she looked up into his golden eyes. They seemed deeper than ever, bottomless and held a need and yearning so deep she didn't know how to answer. She laid her head gently on his shoulder with a sigh and a small smile, and he took that for all the answer she could give for now. He squeezed her hand gently. "you should rest, Rin- you must be tired from your journey." And she was tired—in fact, she was totally exhausted—but she didn't want to let it show. She couldn't bear the thought of losing precious time with him.

"can…can I at least sleep in here? I could bring in my futon…" she suggested, though of course the futon they were sitting on the edge of was actually plenty big enough to fit an entire family- it was two meters square.

"no need," he said with a tiny smile. "just rest here." He reached to stroke her raven hair, releasing more of her soothing scent into the room around them, and tracing her jaw gently before letting go again. He felt her shiver slightly and lean a little into his touch as if by instinct. She opened her eyes again quickly, not wanting to fall asleep. He frowned a little in concern. "you must rest. You could get sick."

"I won't get sick, Sesshomaru-sama. I feel fine." She finally shifted a little so she was leaning back on the futon instead of sitting up, discarding her outer layers as she did so, until she had only her one outer layer and her sleeping clothing on. The night was a warm one, and she didn't normally wear very much to bed anyway because the quilt was so thick.

He watched her prepare half-heartedly for bed and knew she wasn't going to sleep unless he made her. When she was settled, leaning back, he laid beside her and forced her to lay completely down by pulling her loosely into his arms. "is this more satisfactory?"

He'd been hoping for a yawn or that funny tired blinking thing she'd always done. He hadn't expected her to snuggle in as close as she could manage, making both of them suddenly quite warm between his large moko and all the layers of clothing they were both still wearing. Without much hesitation, he sat up and set aside his pelt and his two top layers of clothing, leaving his pants on only. She took the opportunity to take off her outer clothing and have on only an underlayer when he turned back to her once more. It was a summer underlayer too, meaning it wasn't very thick, and the fabric clung to her a bit more than Sesshomaru thought it should. He laid down and let her snuggle in again, looking away from her and trying not to think about how attractive she was.

Unfortunately for him, that was the only thing on Rin's mind. She'd never seen him properly shirtless, and it was impressive to say the least. She couldn't stop herself in her uninhibited exhausted state from tracing his collarbones and feeling his shoulders and chest in a kind of awe. He wanted all of this to be _hers?_ She could barely comprehend how a being this perfect—to her mind—could possibly want something so completely ordinary as her. She felt him shudder faintly under her hands and looked up to see his golden eyes boring into hers intensely. Uh-oh. She'd seen that look before, though it had been a lot more intense. She quickly curled her hands in, blushing brightly. She hadn't wanted to bother him. But she had to admit the thought of doing what his eyes promised was far more appealing than it ought to have been…

Sesshomaru saw the shift of intentions in her eyes as he looked down at her, and felt her hands spread once again on his chest invitingly. He made the decision—though perhaps it was a foolish one—to accept her invitation while he was still in his right mind and could control himself. There was nothing that could come of it, after all, except a stronger bond between them. He smirked a little and murmured, "Rin, you know what kind of game you're playing, right?"

She looked up at him guilelessly and nodded softly. "of course," she breathed, "you've already taught me the rules."

He shook his head gently. "not properly. But I can fix that, if you like."

She nodded again and he gently rolled her away from him before settling himself on top of her, starting to kiss her gently and keeping himself as aware as he could be of her reactions in case she changed her mind. He didn't want to scare her or hurt her. But Rin was clearly not worried about any of that- this time it seemed to him that she was the desperate, instinctive one of the two of them. He kept kissing, emboldened by her reactions and the kisses she returned to him, and even bit her neck a little too hard. He quickly licked the wound closed and was surprised she hadn't noticed any pain. He continued, removing the last of her clothing, but he paused uncertainly once more. Did she really want them to…go all the way? He could feel his instincts and his body both urging him on with need, but he met Rin's eyes, needing to know.

Rin was panting with pleasure at his attentions, but her eyes snapped open with surprise as he suddenly stilled, and she looked up at him. The need and desire was clear in his eyes, but so was his uncertainty. His hakama were still firmly tied at his navel. She reached to untie them and he jumped in surprise at her touch, blushing a delicate pale pink. "Don't stop now," she murmured softly, kissing his neck.

That was all he'd needed to hear, and the following time was a blur. He smiled gently at Rin as she passed out after mid-night, playing with her hair as she laid on his chest, snoozing softly. There were a few love marks on her neck and a pair of pinprick markings on the left side of her neck where he'd accidentally bitten her earlier. He took a deep breath and sighed softly, his hand stilling. "Rin…please stay like this…" he murmured softly, knowing she was deeply asleep and couldn't hear him. Something told him whatever had turned her into a hanyou wasn't finished with her yet…


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: weekly chapter bomb part 2 of ?

warning: bad things are attempted here. read with caution if you are easily upset.

* * *

Rin slept more soundly than she ever had in her life, completely wrapped in comfort and safety. When the sun rose the next morning and the light fell upon her, a sudden flash of heat went through the young woman, making her curl partway into a ball and scratch whatever she'd been holding. Then she woke with alarm as she scented blood.

Rin's eyes flashed open to see nothing but a man's bare chest right in front of her, with smooth, pale skin. She immediately realized with a slight shock that it was Sesshomaru—then she remembered what had happened the night before. She turned bright red and glanced downward for a moment before looking back up. Yes, just as she thought- not only was he completely bare, they both were! Just what exactly had she been thinking? But she had to admit she probably hadn't been—she'd just been relieved to be home and in the arms of the man she loved—and now she knew he loved her too, or at least he'd said as much and seemed sincere. She took another breath through her nose to settle herself and looked to his shoulder, seeing tiny, bloody furrows that had already stopped bleeding and healed over, leaving the tiny amount of blood with no source. That was the smell that had woken her. She moved her hand and saw the claws that tipped her fingers once more. She sat up, eyes watering as she started to cry in horror. She'd thought it was over! She thought somehow the curse was broken, but it had only been toying with her, it seemed.

When Rin shifted out of Sesshomaru's arms, he rolled partway onto his stomach, revealing a back covered in thin pink lines she'd clearly been the one to leave during their lovemaking. She was even more horrified at that sight—how could he have let her hurt him like that? She glanced to his face, but the only word that came to mind was contented. Everything was right in his world, it seemed. She looked down at her claws again in despair. She couldn't face him like this—he'd said he didn't care but she didn't believe that. She quickly grabbed her underlayer and tied it on, grabbing the rest of her bundle of clothes and items and hurried out of the room just after the sun cleared the horizon. As her first foot touched the wooden floor from the futon, something seemed to prick her sharply on the left side of the neck. She was too occupied to care, only wanting to leave the room before Sesshomaru saw her as a hanyou once more.

Sesshomaru woke just moments after the spring sun cleared the horizon. His bed was pleasantly warm and sweet-smelling, but empty. He opened his eyes and sat up slightly to find Rin gone, and her clothing also. But her warmth and soothing scent still lingered—at least it hadn't been a dream. He stretched lightly and looked down at himself, discovering he was still naked, and couldn't help but smirk slightly. Last night's activities had certainly been…something else. He licked his lips slightly, remembering her fervent kisses. He hadn't known humans were capable of such passion…but where was Rin now? Taking a bath, he supposed. He would leave her to it, then, and have breakfast prepared for both of them. He rose and dressed almost lazily, that silly tiny smirk still on his features and last night's activities and declarations still on his mind…

Rin soaked in the tub for a while after having scrubbed the tiny drop of blood from her claws until she was cleaner than she'd ever been in her life. She was crying still, but trying to calm down. She should see how he reacted to her returning to this hanyou form before she did anything too foolish—but her mind kept going back to all those scratches on his back. Her human nails must have done that. She wasn't good for him. She'd hurt him and he'd let her do it. What could she do?

Suddenly Rin sat sharply upright as someone seemed to whisper a solution in her ear. Her eyes glazed over slightly and she climbed from the tub robotically, drying and dressing, then taking her wakizashi to find an empty inner room…

Sesshomaru was sitting at one of the tables in the dining hall, waiting for Rin, when he suddenly felt a shiver up his spine and got the sense that something was very wrong. Rin was in danger—though how he knew that instinctively, he didn't know or care. He jumped to his feet and hurried into the depths of the manor, following the trail of her scent. "Rin? RIN!" he called for her, frowning deeply in concern.

Rin didn't hear him calling her name. she didn't hear anything but the whispering voice urging her on to do what she must. She laid her wakizashi on the floor in front of her, the handle facing to her right, and knelt down solemnly. She took the sheath in her left hand and the handle in her right, slowly unsheathing the blade and watching expressionlessly as it glowed once more with the acid green light. She put the sheath back down and turned the blade over, taking it in both hands with the point of the blade facing her. She raised it high over her head, preparing to swing it down in an arc, not knowing such a wound would not be fatal as a hanyou. Her silhouette was marked on the paper-screen door by the morning sun, and this was what Sesshomaru saw as he finally found her.

Sesshomaru threw open the door, rushing into the room with every ounce of speed he could muster, snatching the blade out of her hands and tossing it aside. Rin looked up, her eyes momentarily clearing in shock at what had just happened. What had she been doing? Where was she? She'd never even been in this room before! She gasped in surprise as she was suddenly lifted to her feet and the breath was squeezed out of her as Sesshomaru held her tightly for a moment before holding her at arms' length and checking her over for injuries. Finding none to his immense relief, he shook her slightly. "Rin, what were you thinking? What were you trying to do?!" he demanded. He didn't want to believe what he'd seen, though he'd seen it several times before and knew how it would have ended if he hadn't intervened. He barely noticed now that she was a hanyou once more—he only cared that she was all right.

Rin started to sob and curled into his chest, hiding her face. "I don't know!" she wailed, shivering slightly. She couldn't even begin to explain the whispering voice she'd heard that had started to dictate her actions until she had no control and very little awareness. Even if she could explain, she felt he wouldn't understand or believe her. She felt him sigh and felt his arms wrap gently around her, one hand on the back of her head and the other between her shoulder blades, patting gently. "well, it's all right now. Come to breakfast. I had the cooks make your favorite."

As soon as Rin left Sesshomaru's arms the whispers came back. He didn't notice her suddenly still nor her eyes become blank once more. When he noticed she had stopped following him to the kitchens he turned back and gently took her hand—only for her to pull away sharply with a snarl. "Rin?"

"let me go!" she said in a sharp and yet emotionless voice. "you don't really care for me. I'm a monster." She repeated what the whispers told her to say, looking up blankly at him.

"Rin? What's the matter with you?" he had no idea why she was suddenly acting so strangely. He reached to grab her by the wrist and take her to the healer. She tugged against his grip and then flopped to her knees on the floor like a petulant child, staring at the floor. "Rin," he growled, starting to grow frustrated with her odd behaviour. "come on. We have to go to the healer. Something's wrong with you—"

"of course something's wrong with me," she muttered darkly. "I'm a monster now. I hurt you."

"you didn't hurt me, Rin. You can't. now get up, let's go."

She ignored him, tugging sharply at the hand that held her wrist and growling softly. He kept holding her wrist in a firm grip. "Rin, look at me!" he commanded. She tilted her head to the left to bare the right side of her neck and didn't look up. "look at me, I said. Don't make me have to punish you…"

"Just kill me. I know you want to. I'm disgusting to you like this," she said in a flat, inflectionless voice, not looking up still. Her hand loosened from the fist it was in as she started to fight the whispers. That wasn't true. He'd said it wasn't. and he'd never lied to her.

Sesshomaru was shocked by her words but kept a firm grip on her wrist still. "I don't want that, Rin. I only want you to obey me. All I ask is that you let me take you to the healer- you aren't well." A shiver suddenly passed through the girl and she gasped, finally looking up at him with clear, confused eyes.

"why- why am I on the floor?" she asked him, confused quite a bit. She had silenced the whispers for now. He was looking somewhere between concerned and angry.

"Rin, just go- back to your room, and wait for the healer to examine you. You're acting very strangely." He felt her shiver slightly again as she looked down once more.

"is that why you felt the need to punish me?" she asked softly. She was in a very compromised position, kneeling on the floor and held up by one wrist. It was the perfect position to beat someone, but she couldn't believe he'd ever do it…would he?

"go directly to your room and await the healer. Is that clear?"

"hai." She nodded slightly and he let her go, frowning in concern at the mark his hand had left behind on her thin wrist from his too-tight grip.

As soon as he released her and she started to head to her room the whispers were back much more urgently, warning of the danger she was in. he was going to hurt her if she stayed. She had to leave again, to run and not look back. She turned from the path to her room and ran into the garden, hiding by the wall to see what he would do when he discovered her missing.

Sesshomaru fetched the healer and followed him to Rin's room, only to find it empty. He hurried outside, a deep frown on his face and his brow furrowed darkly. A bush near the garden wall rustled and he turned toward it. "Rin?"

She leapt from the bush and onto the garden wall above him. "have you come to punish me?" she demanded, glaring at him. His scowl deepened. "regrettably, I will have no choice if you do not obey."

"'regrettably'?" she repeated in seeming shock. "don't pretend you're not looking forward to skinning me alive!"

"Rin, please, just come here—"

"as if I would make it easy for you to hurt me!" she repeated the whispers once again, and without hesitation leapt down from the wall and took off at a dead sprint for the nearby forest. Sesshomaru gasped and followed as quickly as he could, but Rin was incredibly fast now. She weaved through the trees ahead of him and seemed to be gaining ground on him, getting farther away.

 _There's a river nearby. The village dogs always left me alone if I jumped in the river and floated downstream a ways. It's worth a shot._ Rin veered toward the river and Sesshomaru lost sight of her. He stopped and looked for a moment, just enough time for her to be gone. She jumped for the middle of the river and noticed a large, barely-submerged boulder too late.

 _Crack._

Both boulder and upper arm broke from the impact and Rin barely managed to avoid inhaling a lungful of water in shock at the pain. She struggled up so her face was out of the current and floated downstream, clutching her broken arm to her chest as best she could. Sesshomaru had been too far away to hear the water-muffled noise, and was worried as her scent faded away as he reached the riverbank. He called downstream, but the rush of the waters drowned his voice.

Rin floated for several miles and finally managed to pull herself to the bank once more where it was shallower and climb weakly out, soaking wet. She could smell incense nearby, from a shrine. She walked up the riverbank and looked up the hill, seeing a shrine to Amaterasu, the sun goddess. She walked up the path under the Torii and stopped at the entrance to the shrine, apologizing for her drenched state and that she couldn't clap like she was supposed to. She knelt in front of the shrine proper with its little effigy of the sun goddess and began to pray. "Kami-sama, I don't know why this has happened to me, but I will bear it. And—I have to ask something of you. I know I have done what I should not, and I know the consequences. I ask you to spare me from them." She looked up at the little statue with tears in her eyes. "I could not raise a child in this state- please, do not give me one." She started to cry in earnest. "I have made a terrible mistake in laying with a man who does not desire me or my kind. he would loathe any child of mine. I could not endanger an innocent baby because of my mistake." She bowed until her head touched the floor, yelping in pain at her broken arm, and murmured a final "please" before staggering upright and walking back to sit at the bottom of the hill, under the last torii.

While she was sitting, crying and clutching a broken arm, she didn't sense a man approach until he sat next to her, making her jump and yelp in agony as her arm was jostled. "Don't hurt me!" she blurted, ears pinning down, but the man chuckled gently.

"it's all right, I promise I won't hurt you. It looks like your arm is broken. May I see?" the man looked gentle, and perhaps thirty, with a soft smile that made Rin want to trust him, though she never really trusted humans, especially men. "My name is Hideoko," he told her as he examined her arm, seeing that it really was broken. "what is yours?"


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: chapter bomb part 3 of ?

Warning: implied shenanigans and a bit of darkness here

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The kind man put Rin's arm in a sling, then got back to his feet. "you're soaking wet, and injured. Why don't you come stay at my house? I have a fire and spare kimono you can borrow until your clothing dries. And you need time to let that arm of yours heal."

Rin turned pink at the stranger's generosity. She didn't want to trust him, but she was in a pretty bad state. "is your house far?"

"just a few minutes' walk from here. Not far at all." He offered a hand to help her to her feet and after a second or two she took it, careful of her claws. "this way."

"oh, my name is Rin," she told him, realizing she hadn't said before, and that was rather rude. He nodded politely, offering the small, kind smile again.

"what a lovely name."

They walked for just short of half an hour to reach a very large, nice house with its own plot of land. It was by no means a manor like Sesshomaru's, but it was nicer than any village headman's house. There were a few different fruit trees, a small separate bath house, and a magnificent herb garden full of every herb Rin knew from the village and a few she had never seen before. "you have a lovely place," she complimented, looking around at everything.

"why, thank you, my dear. It's a bit of a chore to take care of all this land myself, but I manage." He stepped onto the porch after taking off his sandals and leaving them on a mat. "come on, I'll put some more wood on the fire for you and get you some dry clothes- although those are drying out rather nicely in this sun, aren't they?" Rin nodded and walked toward the porch, then paused. She hadn't worn shoes that day, and the dirt and mud had stuck to the bottoms of her feet rather well after getting soaked in the river. Her feet were almost black on the bottoms with grime. It would be terribly rude of her to walk in his house with such dirty feet. She looked up sharply as a wet wash cloth was suddenly thrust in her face. His friendly smile was even wider, and she turned pink once more. She sat down on the porch and quickly wiped off her feet, letting them dry for a moment in the april sunshine before stepping up onto the porch and moving to follow him. She was embarrassed that he'd noticed how filthy she was.

Rin stepped into the cool and relative darkness of the house, settling herself near the fire pit, which was casting most of the light, as the windows were covered for some reason. The heat felt good as it washed against the pain coming from her broken arm. She looked down at it mournfully. Didn't it normally take 2 moons, and sometimes more, to heal a broken bone? She'd never broken one herself, but she'd seen old kaede and kagome-sama caring for a few different people who had, and it seemed to take a very long time to heal properly. Her nose twitched and she looked up to see Hideoko putting a pot of water on the fire to boil some herbs.

"are you hungry? I have some stew I prepared this morning." He lifted the lid on a pot of lukewarm stew, letting the scent waft over to Rin, and her stomach growled before she could politely decline. He took her stomach as an answer and dished up a bowl of the stew, giving her a spoon so she could eat more easily with only one hand. She downed the bowl in under 3 minutes, and looked sadly at the bottom. "more?" she looked up and supposed this was not a man who stood on ceremony, so she handed the bowl over with a nod and he refilled it. Once it was empty again, she set it aside and looked down at her arm once more, giving a mournful sigh.

He settled on her right, on another side of the square fire pit, and gave her another kind smile. "I can tell by your appearance that you are a hanyou," he stated, making Rin look up at him once more in surprise. Was it that obvious? She'd spent years with InuYasha and never once realized he wasn't a youkai. The kind man nodded at her broken left arm. "for that bone to heal should take a week, at most. Don't feel too down about it." He paused and added, "I was actually hoping that a pretty young lady like you would stay until fully healed."

Rin blushed a little more at his 'pretty' comment. _Sesshomaru-sama once said I was beautiful…but I don't think he'd say that now…_ "a week, you said? Is that really all?"

Hideoko nodded smartly. "of course it's a bit slower than a full-blooded youkai, but quite a bit faster than a human could manage."

"how do you know so much?" Rin was curious how this obviously human man seemed to know more about things she was constantly exposed to than she did. He simply shrugged and pulled the boiled herbs off the fire, making a tea out of them and setting it aside to cool.

"I get around and observe what I can. In my slightly younger days I travelled the land as much as I could, learning the healer's art." Rin nodded politely and he continued, "what is your story, Rin? You must lead an interesting life, from the way I met you."

She blushed scarlet and looked away. "hardly. My life was very uneventful until recently, I would say. You see, I am a hanyou- but I wasn't born one. Something made me like this, and I don't know how or why." He nodded for her to continue. "I was just staying with a youkai lord, and I was quite happy. Then I suddenly got sick while we were out shopping at a market, and when I woke again, I was like this. Milord doesn't like hanyou, so I left, but I came back when I turned human for a night, and he welcomed me. I thought my curse was over, but with the dawn I was like this again." She looked down at the delicate claws on her right hand where it sat on her crossed legs. "then…and I suppose you won't believe me…there was a whispering voice, telling me what to do, and I couldn't stop myself…he was going to hurt me far worse than this because of things I couldn't control, so I ran away again. When I jumped in the river, I broke my arm, and you found me just after that." She looked up again to see him frowning thoughtfully.

"how troubling for you. I'm sorry I can do little for your troubles. But here—" he handed her the cooled herbal tea— "drink this; it will speed the healing even further, and take away your pain." She took the cup and sniffed suspiciously, but it smelled tolerable, so she drank it quickly and set the empty cup aside. After a few minutes, she started to feel sleepy, and yawned. The day was barely half over, if it was that, but she was exhausted from everything that had gone wrong.

"you should rest—I'll show you to my spare bedroom." Hideoko led Rin to a rather small room with a single wide futon already spread out and ready as if waiting for her. "thank you. Truly, you are too kind." Rin settled into the futon and passed out rather quickly as the herbs took full effect.

Once he sensed Rin was asleep, the man who'd cursed her settled in front of his little shrine of sorcery, smirking evilly. The herbal drink she'd had would enable him access to her memories through her dreams, and the ability to alter her memories to make her believe things had happened that had not. He searched until he found her earliest memory of the InuYoukai Sesshomaru, the day he'd saved her from the wolves. "he didn't care about saving you," he whispered to her through the dream as he altered the memory. "he was only testing his sword, and nothing more." Rin shivered as she felt something shift in her memory- the concern and surprise in his face was gone as she looked up at him, cradled in his arm. He just set her on her feet and walked away, almost looking disgusted that she was alive again.

The man moved to another, more recent memory, of him returning to the village to fetch her, a year and a half ago. "he didn't want you again. He was forced to come and get you because you were such a nuisance to everyone." Rin looked up in joy as she heard his voice—but why was she happy to see him? He didn't look happy in the slightest. In fact, he seemed upset at even seeing her again. The words he spoke- "come, Rin"- seemed cold and hollow rather than inviting and warm. He didn't wait for her to follow him outside and didn't shorten his stride to walk beside her like an equal, for she wasn't one. "please wait, Sesshomaru-sama!" she called, hurrying in her fancy kimono to keep up with him, but she couldn't—she'd never been able to keep up with his long strides.

"he didn't care if he left you behind. Alone. Afraid." This time it was another time when she was younger- the first thunderstorm she'd been through while traveling with him. It was a happy memory as he'd wrapped the tail of his moko around her to keep her warm and safe- but the warmth was gone. He sat nowhere near her, just leaving her to shiver in the cold and wind, barely covered from the rain. They couldn't start a fire and she was very lucky she didn't get sick. She sniffled miserably, shivering in fear at the loud thunder and sharp flashes of lightning. "he didn't care to comfort you. He left you cold and alone."

Rin remembered when she'd hurt herself falling off Ah-Un, and he had cared for her…but he hadn't done that after all. He'd made jaken tend to her scraped knees, standing aways off with a wrinkled nose, hating the stench of her human blood. "he was disgusted with you…and he hated your scent. He didn't care about you- you were a burden to him, just an obligation because he saved your life." Every time Sesshomaru had gotten angry with jaken, it was her he'd been glaring at. Every kind word, every caring touch was erased. "he wanted you to leave. He hated you. He still hates you."

There were a set of new memories that didn't need any altering—the look on his face when he discovered she was a hanyou, his tone of voice when he ordered her away…Rin whimpered in her sleep. _But wait…_ whispered a new voice, a kinder voice, _what about that night? It was just yesterday- have you forgotten his love already?_

The whispers of the man seemed to hear the gentle voice's objections. "it wasn't love," he intoned almost smugly. "it was rape. He forced you, not for any love, but only to satisfy his own needs."

 _But how could that be?_ Questioned the gentle voice. _It was you who started it, last night, and not him…but, then…there was that time, before…_ the memories of last night never surfaced, and the man couldn't seem to reach them, as if they were protected somehow. He went to the other memory, one that was frightening. She'd gone shopping alone in the village. She was attacked by the men but Sesshomaru saved her. But this time he was even more savage and wild than he'd really been. She was terrified of his glowing eyes and fought to escape him. He was not gentle and she was left with scratches and bruises all over her. When he'd finished, he'd finally released her, ignoring her sobbing, and carelessly tossed his jacket to cover her, not even looking in her direction. He left her to walk home alone callously. _But this is all wrong…something's not right here…_ the gentle voice objected as Rin gathered her things, using her shredded kimono to clean the blood from her scratches before putting his jacket on, ashamed of how little it covered her. She couldn't even tie it shut since he'd cut her obi in half and not left her one to replace it. She had to hold it on the long walk back to the manor, vision blurred with her tears.

The man allowed her dreams to become more hazy and dreamlike so that he could insert completely false memories in along with the altered ones. He took one of the sparring lessons and changed it, creating another scene like the one just before. He made it seem like it had been going on for months, and that Sesshomaru had decided to make a concubine of her, only allowing her to wear two layers no matter the weather, and tie her sash in the front so it could be easily removed. She was deeply ashamed of her looks, but he would hit her if she ever disobeyed or tried to stop him from having her whenever he felt the need. "you were nothing but a pet to him, something to ease his desires. But he never cared for you. He only kept you once he discovered you could be useful."

Rin squirmed in her bed, and her right hand brushed two tiny scars on the left side of her neck. She was awake in a flash, before the spell to solidify the false memories could be completed. She panted in terror, ears swivelling everywhere as her eyes darted around the dark room- it was nearly the next morning, she'd slept so long. She was finally able to relax after several long moments and was still very tired, so she went back to sleep until dawn.

This time the man left her alone. There wasn't time to finish the spell and the herbs had mostly worn off, leaving him with less control than he liked. He rose from his shrine and went to make breakfast, going back to his mask of innocent cheerfulness in case she woke early and found him up and about. Hideoko sighed. The girl's mind was strong, and turning her against Sesshomaru was going to be a far longer process than he had originally anticipated…


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Saturday teaser chapter for the first week of june!

Potential feels but nothing as heavy as the last few chapters.

Please review! I feel like you all hated this last chapter bomb last week because I got NO feedback on it! If you liked it, please tell me!

If any of my regular readers are fanartists, I'd love a drawing of Rin as a hanyou if you want a project! You'll find a description of her appearance in this chapter.

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Rin wandered into the main room with her nose in the air, smelling rice and beans. Her nightmares were already forgotten. Hideoko smiled in greeting and offered her a bowl with a spoon once more so she could eat one-handed, for which she was grateful. They ate in companionable silence, and when Rin was finished she looked up at him. "is there any place nearby that I can bathe?"

Hideoko nodded. "of course. There's a bath house behind this main building. It's nothing fancy but I can get a fire going out there to heat some water for you."

"really, you are too kind!" Rin said with a shy smile.

"'to give kindness is to receive it from the gods'," he quoted, getting to his feet. "I shall fetch you that spare kimono so you can wash your clothing too, if you wish." Rin nodded and he headed off. She sighed and looked at her left arm in its sling, grateful it no longer hurt but frustrated that it was still completely useless. Still, a week until it was fully healed was quite something. She frowned and started thinking of Sesshomaru…she'd been dreaming about him, if she remembered correctly, but it had been some sort of confusing nightmare…

Hideoko returned a short while later with the spare kimono in hand. It was certainly nothing fancy, just something a village woman would wear. Rin hadn't worn something so plain since before she'd met Sesshomaru all those years ago. She took it with a little bow and headed to the bath house. There was nothing like a bath to relax oneself, and Rin knew she was probably grimy, or she felt like it even if she really wasn't. it was another modest but nice building as she stepped inside, much smaller than what she was used to but very fine. She frowned down at her broken arm for a few moments, trying to work out how she was going to get undressed without help—because she was certainly not going to ask a man or a relative stranger to help her undress!

After thinking for a few moments and coming up with nothing, Rin let out a sigh of resignation and carefully pulled the sling away from her broken arm, deciding it was going to hurt. She worked as quickly as possible and managed to get herself undressed without too much awful pain. Panting, she put the sling back on so she could wash herself without having to hold her bad arm. Once she was scrubbed, she walked over to the slightly larger tub full of warm, faintly steaming water, and looked down into it, surprised to see her reflection. She looked so different than she always had before…her face was still fine-boned, which made her eyes look childlike and big, and she supposed they always would. Her thick lashes now framed eyes of bright gold rather than mild cinnamon, but the pupils remained round, unlike Sesshomaru-sama's, which had thinner, narrow pupils more like an animal's. the wet hair that framed her face looked like shining silver ribbons now, and it was a silvery-white when dry, and the doglike ears atop her head seemed to suit the color perfectly. She was reminded once again of InuYasha with his long hair and ears. Last of all, she turned her attention to the purple marking above her silvery brows. it was Sesshomaru-sama's crescent moon, there was no denying it now like they could with the potion before. It was perfectly formed and positioned. Rin was suddenly overwhelmed with sorrowful anger. However she had become a hanyou, she hated that it had separated her from him, and turned her beloved against her. She struck the water, making the image disappear, before allowing herself a brief soak to relax. She didn't feel up to cleaning her clothing one-handed, and was glad to have fresh clothing to change into.

When the water went from steamy to lukewarm once more, she reluctantly climbed out, drying herself before eyeing the new kimono. Taking her clothing off hadn't been too awful, but getting dressed once again would be challenging. She considered and dismissed the idea of leaving her injured left arm inside the robe. That would look ridiculous and solve nothing. She sighed in resignation and took the sling off once more, unfolding the kimono and stretching out her arm to put the sleeve on. As soon as it was on her shoulder so she could let the fabric go, she bit her good hand to muffle her scream of pain, tears leaking from her eyes. Finally, after a few minutes, she recovered enough to put the sling back on and finish dressing, tying the sash as best she could. She was surprised to see that she'd actually bitten through the skin on the back of her hand with her dainty fangs. She'd have to let Hideoko look at that.

Hideoko was busily starting to cook lunch by the time Rin came back and he looked up at her with a smile that quickly disappeared at the look on her face. "Rin, are you all right?"

Rin sniffled again and shook her head, cradling her bad arm with her good one and wincing at the stinging sensation that was starting in her right hand. He quickly got to his feet and stepped over to her, gently checking her over with careful hands as she winced and hissed in pain. He hummed softly in concern and grabbed a different bundle of herbs from before, dropping them in a pot of water to brew them. "sit down, Rin, and rest. This brew will ease your pain."

Rin sat beside the fire, trying to relax. Her hand was stinging even more and she finally looked down at it again, gasping in surprise. Hideoko's head snapped up sharply. "what is it?"

"I…I bit my hand earlier to keep quiet, and now it burns," she explained. The back of her hand was shiny and red, like a nasty snake bite, and it was burning like she'd stuck it in acid. He had a look at it, barely more than a glance, and hurried into the next room, digging through a storage chest with pots and vials of special herbs. Finding the one he wanted, he added it to the boiling herbs he already had, making the water smoke and causing a foul odor.

"what is it?"

"you're venomous, apparently," he commented. "although, I'm quite surprised you're not immune to your own poison. It must be your human blood reacting. Did you not know you had poison?"

Rin shook her head in confusion, wincing again as she looked at her bright red hand. "I never did before, obviously. But I know my Lord does. I suppose it's fitting that if I got anything from him it would be his worse qualities." With his back turned to her, Hideoko smirked a little. Good. Though he hadn't been able to permanently alter any of her larger memories, he was already influencing the way she thought. As soon as the herbs were done, he took the pot off the fire and poured a cup of it, then soaked a rag in the brew also. He took a small healer's knife and stepped back over to her, gently taking her injured hand. Rin looked away, shutting her eyes, and he quickly reopened the wounds she'd caused before wrapping her hand in the soaked rag. He took the cup of herbal remedy and held it to her mouth so she could drink quickly.

"there," he said kindly, patting Rin's head. "that should be better very soon. Poison is a terrible way to die- you're very lucky I know how to treat it." Rin shivered slightly at his words, not meeting his eyes. He cheerfully went back to making lunch, and once it was settled into the hearth to cook, he dusted himself off and headed for the herb garden.

When Rin was left alone with nothing much to do, she sighed and decided to find a way to make herself useful to the man who'd taken her in. right now she felt like nothing more than a burden to him. She checked her good hand, surprised to find it already completely healed with no mark left behind. She spotted a broom in the corner of the room and got up to fetch it. Surely she could sweep one-handed. As she started to clean the floor, her mind wandered to Sesshomaru once more, wondering where he was, and what he was doing. Was he out looking for her, even now? Surely she hadn't managed to lose him so easily when she couldn't be much more than ten or 12 miles from home. The InuYoukai had a nose like no other, and she'd seen him track things much farther with older, fainter trails than she would have left behind. She sighed softly, wishing he were there…

Hideoko was picking and tending his herbs, making sure he had fresh stems of the herb that allowed him to alter her memories through her dreams, as well as some other herbs that would simply help treat her until her arm was healed. By no means could the sorcerer read minds, but he could sense the general trend of her mind through the bond he had formed by her curse. He gritted his teeth in anger as he sensed her thinking of that filthy youkai once more, and he nudged her mind, testing how much of the last night's alterations she'd kept.

Rin was starting to hum cheerfully when a whisper intruded on her happy daydreaming. _He doesn't love you…forget him…he never cared…_ she growled and swept much harder, pushing the whispers and her thoughts both out of her mind.

When Hideoko returned to the house with an armload of various herbs, Rin's ears perked up and she started sniffing curiously. "wow! I've never seen so many different herbs before. And I only recognize a couple of those." He set the bundles down and dished up lunch before starting to prepare them. Rin's nose was still wiggling and she picked out one of the sprigs of herbs, holding it to her nose and smiling. "mmm…mint…"

He smiled slightly as he prepared the various herbs to be dried and preserved or crushed immediately to be stored in sake or oil. As she kept sniffing the mint with her eyes closed, he picked up a sprig of the dream plant and offered it to her. "here, smell this one."

She set down the mint and started sniffing at the new plant, which was just as pleasant. But after a few whiffs of it, she started to get drowsy and set it down again as she yawned. He smiled gently. "perhaps you should rest, Rin- a nap is certainly allowed while you have a bone that needs healing." She sighed reluctantly and went back to the futon in the spare room, barely making it before she was unconscious.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: chapter bomb part one of three!

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Rin wasn't unconscious for very long before a dream started. That was odd, she never really dreamed this much, or this vividly. Maybe it was part of being a hanyou? Several of her old memories resurfaced again, some altered and some false, and one in particular stood out. It was sunny and warm in the sun, but cold otherwise. It was November, she supposed, looking out into the garden from her room's window. She had just finished getting dressed for the day, with two long winter underlayers and one thick lined kimono with a pretty obi tied in the fanciest knot she knew how to make—a butterfly bow that spread its wings across her back beautifully. She smiled at the koi pond and the almost bare trees, humming softly. She heard the door slide open beside her and turned, her face lighting in joy to see Sesshomaru standing in the doorway. He, however, was frowning the moment he laid eyes on her.

"is something the matter, Sesshomaru-sama?" Rin asked in concern, turning toward him. He nodded, frowning more.

"the bow is to go in the front of your robes from now on, Rin." His tone brooked no argument, but offered no explanation either.

Rin frowned in confusion, looking down at her fine clothing and smoothing the obi where it lay flat across the entirety of her stomach, from chest to the top of her hipbones. "but I always tie it in the back- that's how I was taught. I've never seen anyone wear their obi backwards like that." She didn't count him, as the sash of rank he wore was a separate thing that wasn't actually used to tie anything on him or keep his clothing closed. It was for decoration only and he didn't often wear it at home. She couldn't blame him- it had to be at least twelve, if not fifteen, meters long, from the way it draped in loops around his hips.

She looked back to his face to see he now looked angry, and she gulped nervously. "I will fix it!" she told him quickly. "only, won't you tell me why I must do this?"

"no." he turned and left the room again. Rin frowned down at her obi again. It was too big and stiff to be tied in the front, or she wouldn't be able to do anything without it getting in the way. She took it off carefully and searched through her wardrobe briefly for a much thinner obi that would better suit her needs. She tied it much like he tied his sash, in a large, rather loose-looking bow with the long ends allowed to trail down in front. She didn't like the way it looked at all. It was all wrong.

 _Do you know what this means? What it signifies?_

Rin turned as her door opened slightly again, smiling down at jaken, who suddenly looked horrified as he looked up at her. "Rin! What have you done?" he demanded, aghast.

"what's wrong, Jaken-sama?"

"don't you know what a front-tied sash means, you stupid girl?" Rin shook her head, looking bewildered. Jaken lowered his voice as if in shame. "for humans, that is the mark of a…er…servant woman." Rin still looked confused, so he was forced to spit. "a call-girl, Rin! A whore!" Rin immediately went beet-red in horror, her eyes as wide as they could go.

"b-b-but," she stammered to him, "Sesshomaru-sama told me to wear my obi this way, jaken. Does he know?" the little imp nodded just as Sesshomaru returned to check if she had obeyed him. "is that true, milord? You know what this shows and you have me do it anyway?"

Sesshomaru punted the troublesome toad from the room and shut the door behind him. "do you really think I care what humans think?" he asked her coldly.

"what does this mean to you, then?" she challenged, grabbing at the sash to turn it around where it belonged- she would not be seen like this by others! He caught her wrist with a soft but threatening growl.

"it means," he told her, "that you are mine, body and soul, to do with however I please. You will ask my permission for anything you need and you will obey me immediately and exactly, or you will be punished." He loomed over her threateningly, his grip on her small wrist much too tight, and she gulped, scared. "I saved your life, and now you owe me every stolen year you live. You have some making up to do for all those years you were nothing but a worthless burden to me." She looked away from him, shutting her eyes and shivering in horror. The soft, gentle voice she'd heard before was suddenly back. _This didn't happen…Sesshomaru would not demand anything of us, let alone something like that…_

Rin finally realized with a slight shock that the voice actually was her own, the voice of her heart, which could not be swayed by false memories. She looked back up at him as his grip loosened. He seemed satisfied at her cowering. She pulled her hand from his grip sharply and stepped out from under him. "I don't belong to you," she told him shortly. She gasped in shock to find herself pinned against the wall as he snarled, his eyes beginning to glow dangerously. _This isn't real! This didn't happen to me!_ The voice insisted as he slapped her sharply across the face, leaving a mark that would surely bruise. But it felt so real, how could it be false?

"if an explanation is not enough for you, then I will just have to show you what happens when you disobey me…" she felt herself pulled away from the wall and lifted slightly in the air before being tossed like she weighed nothing, falling on her futon with a yelp of pain. She had no time to react before he was pinning her down again. He pulled her robe open easily and Rin realized what the sash was tied in the front for. She was very glad of the extra layers now. She writhed and filled her mouth, spitting in his face angrily and yelling out what her heart's voice told her. "this isn't real! You're not Sesshomaru!"

Suddenly, something seemed to fracture. The level of reality, of memory, was gone. It was just a dream now, and one she seemed able to control at least a little. She gently wiped his face clean again and he gently pulled her upright, fixing her robe and sash carefully before wrapping her in his arms soothingly. This was the way he really was, not that horrid monster from before. Rin sighed, laying her head against his chest. "I wish I knew…what the truth was…" she murmured softly. She felt a gentle kiss atop her head before she closed her eyes, willing herself to wake once more.

Hideoko snarled angrily, wiping the sweat from his brow. "Damn it! She still has feelings for that mononoke." He growled to himself. "I only have five more moons until this curse becomes permanent. I have to sway her before then." He remembered the day he'd first seen her, over a year ago, in company with that Youkai scum she called a lord. Hideoko had followed her all during the festival in march, though he knew the other man knew he was there and was watching out for him. She was so beautiful and he knew immediately that he had to make a wife of her, for she could bear him beautiful children. Her abilities would be wasted on the white-haired youkai who shadowed her steps, protecting her. Hideoko had tried to preserve her beauty when he'd placed the curse on her, but he had to admit he somewhat shared that Sesshomaru's attitude toward hanyou. They were ugly and worse than worthless. At least she wouldn't be staying that way, so long as he could persuade her to leave that scum behind and join to him instead. Until then, he would look forward to her human nights, so he could enjoy her beauty once more…

Rin came stumbling out of her room some time later, clutching her pounding head. The only part of her dreams she could remember was the bit at the end she'd been in control of. If her head hadn't hurt so bad she would have been smiling. It had been a very good dream. She groaned at the bright light of the fire and hideoko looked up from the next room, where the door was open between them. "are you all right, Rin?"

"fine. Just a headache. I think I slept funny." She rubbed her neck and stretched a little, the pain already fading. "so, I was wondering…what do you do around here all day? It doesn't seem like there's much."

He offered her a smile. "as for me, I usually meditate or tend my herb garden. Sometimes I fish." He paused and got to his feet. "there's a village nearby here, though, if that appeals to you more."

Rin's face lit up momentarily, but fell again as she realized she had no money to buy anything- not even shoes, which she obviously still needed. "we can buy a few needful things—it's been a while since I've gone to town anyway. Perhaps we can get some sandals for you." She perked up again and got to her feet.

"really, you are much too kind to me. It makes me suspicious," she teased, grinning as she went outside to enjoy the afternoon sunshine. He smirked as he put on his shoes and followed her out to the road, pointing the way and letting her run ahead of him. He'd been planning this outing and made sure one of the herbs she'd had in her tea was one that would erase her scent for several hours, making her impossible to track once she left the barrier he'd put up around his property. His smirk widened as he watched her skip and bounce down the road, looking carefree. He would make sure she always looked like that once she chose to stay and become his wife. She turned back to look at him, slowing down and walking as she saw she was getting too far ahead, and he allowed himself a brief daydream of her as a gorgeous human woman, round with his child, a scrap of that youkai's yellow sash tied to her own as a trophy of his defeat…he would make sure that daydream would become a reality, one way or another.

They reached the village in good time and Rin hurried to a shop she saw sold sandals of all types for travellers. "do you have any my size?" she asked the man in the shop, who smiled in a friendly way after jumping in startlement at her sudden appearance.

"well, young miss, let me measure your feet, and I'll see." He got to work and Rin looked around curiously again, seeing the market street up ahead. She wanted to go look at the wares, even if she couldn't buy anything. He found a pair of shoes in her size just as Hideoko showed up, feigning being out of breath to tease her. Rin's ears drooped. "sorry! I was too excited, I guess." He waved her apology away and paid for the sandals, helping her put them on, then watched as she scampered off once more to look at the market stalls. "what a nice young thing," the man at the counter commented to Hideoko. "is she yours, or just a friend?"

He smirked. "a friend, I suppose, for now." He winked and headed out after her.

Rin was examining a table with fine kimono cloth, admiring the patterns, when she heard several people gossiping at a nearby tea house, and turned an ear toward it curiously.

"that's right, I heard there's a white-haired Youkai, lord something-or-other, who's looking for someone a few villages over from here. He's been looking everywhere for a couple of days now, asking about some girl…"


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: chapter bomb part 2 of 3!

Beware of potential heavy feels. Please do not throw your phone/tablet/computer.

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Rin moved closer to the tea shop and the set of gossiping individuals curiously. She grabbed a spare cloth from a nearby merchant and covered her hair and ears, joining the conversation. "this Youkai lord, do you know his name or who he's searching for?" she asked. A man nodded. "the name had maru in it…" another man piped up "I remember, someone said it was Sesshomaru. What a name, eh? What mother would name a child something like that?" Rin shrugged nonchalantly. A woman told her, "he was looking for a hanyou, specifically a girl he said would have silver hair and funny ears. I don't know if he gave a name or not." Rin nodded and bowed slightly at the information, hurrying away from them before they could ask her anything. "did you see her eyes? They were gold…"

Rin left the cloth behind once more at the stall she'd taken it from, shivering slightly. He was close by, then. She could go to him, if she knew where he was. But would he welcome her back? What if he was only searching to punish her? She shook her head, wondering where that idea had even come from. He was searching for her because he loved her—he had to be. Rin wandered down the street once more, looking for Hideoko. Just as she spotted him down the road, the wind picked up, blowing a breeze across Rin's face. The next moment she was running out of town as fast as her legs could carry her, following the scent that had been carried on that gentle breeze from the next town over…

Rin saw him standing with his back to her, speaking to an innkeeper who was shaking his almost-bald head in response to a question asked of him. She stood stock-still in the middle of the street, staring. Even if there were no other clues, his calf-length white hair and flowing mokomoko "tail" were very distinctive. "Sesshomaru-sama?"

The Daiyoukai froze at the soft sound of his name being called by a precious, familiar voice. His eyes going wide with wondrous disbelief, he turned slowly to see Rin standing down the street from him, her left arm in a sling. She looked up at him with her wide golden eyes, her bangs still tied back to show the crescent moon on her brow and her puppy-like ears tilted back with frightened uncertainty of his reaction.

Rin gasped in surprise as, within a pair of heartbeats, his arms were around her, careful of her injury, and she found herself lifted from the ground and spun slightly. He was clearly overjoyed. "Rin! Oh, Rin, I finally found you!" he crowed in relief, holding her close. "please, don't ever run away like that again!" he ordered her firmly, setting her gently back on her feet. She wrapped her good arm around him and gently nuzzled his chest as he bent slightly to nuzzle her neck, ready to once again be soothed by her lovely scent. He closed his eyes and took a deep sniff of—nothing.

Rin's scent wasn't wrong…it didn't exist at all. Sesshomaru's head shot up sharply and he suddenly held the girl at arms' length. She looked exactly right, and sounded exactly right—she felt warm and right in his arms—but she had no scent, like she was nothing but an illusion.

Rin watched in worry as Sesshomaru's face fell with suspicion and concern, her ears drooping once again in fear. She caught his arm as he tried to step away from her, and he brushed her gently off. "I'm sorry. I mistook you for someone else," he said softly, moving to turn away again as her vision blurred with tears.

"you didn't," she assured him softly, catching his sleeve once more. "please. It's me, Sesshomaru-sama. It's Rin. I've been hurt, so I couldn't come back. I wanted to."

He shook his head gently and explained, "you can't be Rin. You have no scent." As she began to cry, the tears that ran down her cheeks had the faintest trace of her scent within them, but it was nowhere near enough to be sure if the girl in front of him, that clung to his sleeve so desperately, was even real, let alone the right person. Still, he couldn't stop himself from gently wiping the tears from the young woman's face with his thumb and wrapping her in another brief hug, closing his eyes and allowing himself to imagine for a moment that it was his beloved Rin and not some illusion in his arms. It wasn't a hard thing to imagine…some instinct deep within him told him he was absolutely right. This was Rin, and his search was over. It was that feeling that helped him make his decision, and he stepped back, plucking a silver hair from the girl's head as he did. He brushed the side of her neck, finding a pair of tiny scars under her left ear and the moment he touched them a shiver went up his spine. The girl flinched away in surprise—she must have felt something too.

"I will stay overnight in the next village. If at any time today, or tomorrow, your scent returns, come back to find me, and I will gladly take you home." Rin nodded in understanding, trying not to shiver again at the strange shock she'd felt when he'd touched the side of her neck. She'd still not noticed the scars there and would have no idea what they were for once she did. She reluctantly let him go, watching him take the strand of silver hair, wondering what he'd wanted it for. He moved on to the tea shop in that village, continuing to ask if anyone had seen Rin. She was glad to find him still so accepting of her after how she'd acted before, and the fact she had no scent. That was the only thing stopping him, really. She turned and hurried off to the village she'd been in before, realizing with a shock that she'd completely left Hideoko behind without telling him that she was leaving or where she was going, and that was terribly rude of her.

Hideoko was getting very nervous as he searched the crowded market looking for Rin as evening approached. He jumped and blurted a curse as a delicate hand grabbed his shoulder and spun to find the hanyou girl looking nervous. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you." He held his chest and wheezed, waving her apology away. Rin put an ear back slightly. "I found a place to stay in the village, in exchange for work. I wanted to thank you for your hospitality, but I will be staying here until my lord comes for me." Hideoko tried not to show his boiling anger at her words. He could not allow her outside the safety of his barrier for any longer than the herbs that suppressed her scent stayed active. As soon as they wore off that Damned Youkai would surely find her again easily, and that was something he couldn't risk if he was to be successful.

"Rin, your arm is not yet healed," he said, allowing his sorcery to add a layer of persuasion to his tone. "you need to let me care for you until you are whole again—at least a few more days, if not longer." She frowned and proved she could make a fist with her left hand, showing it was healing fine, and really didn't hurt much anymore unless she jostled it badly.

"I can't just walk out when I said I would work for them." He couldn't help but frown darkly at her words now. He did not lose. Not now, and not ever, no matter how stubborn the person. He scoffed and scowled at her.

"you'll come running back when those herbs wear off and your arm starts burning with pain again," he assured her, stepping away and pointedly ignoring her as she tried to apologize for offending him. Dejected, she went back to the innkeeper she'd spoken to, who looked nervous at the sight of her.

"Rin, I'm afraid I don't have any rooms open for you. The girl whose room I was going to lend you decided to stay, and the rest are already full. You can work and earn a few coins if you want to try and buy a room elsewhere, but you can't stay here." Rin's ears flattened in shock at the man's words, her eyes wide with worry.

"is there anywhere else I can stay?"

"the tea shop has a few rooms they rent out, if you want to try there."

Rin hurried over to the tea shop. It had simply been a tiny nudge of instinct that had made Rin ask for lodging in the village rather than returning directly to hideoko. Something told her the man was not as nice as he always seemed to be to her. She walked in and the shopkeeper looked up in surprise. "is your name Rin?" she asked, and Rin nodded in confusion. "someone came asking for you, and he rented a room for the night."

Rin's eyes lit up. "tall and white-haired? Dressed all in white with red patterns on the sleeves and collar?"

"that's right. I suppose you know him. Are you with him?" Rin tilted her head to the side, considering. How easy it would be to say yes…but that would hardly be proper, would it. And he still did not trust her as she had no scent.

"no, we're not together in that way. I was to meet him. But I will make arrangements with him myself. Thank you." Rin bowed to the woman and hurried out to the market once more, wondering where he was, since he had to be in this town now if he'd reserved a room in person…

Sesshomaru was pacing down the row of market stalls when the faintest trace of scent caught his attention at a kimono cloth stall just down from the tea house. He snatched up the cloth, finding an identical silver hair to the one that he had plucked from the girl's head earlier. This one smelled as strongly of her as a single hair could, the magic herb's influence having faded once it was removed from her. Then he'd been right—or she'd been right—no matter, they'd both been right, and Rin was here! He looked around, frowning intensely. It would be difficult at best to find her in the throng of people when she had no scent at all to track. That had been another odd thing—there was no scent that could stay on her, apparently, because he couldn't tell where she'd been or who she'd been with. But his nose suddenly caught a whiff of his own scent that seemed to be moving, and he arched an eyebrow, moving to investigate.

Hideoko saw the youkai as he moved through the crowd that was starting to fade as evening set in. he stuck out obviously, with his white hair and bright clothing, and his height. _OH NO._ if Rin found him, all bets were off. The only scent that could stick to her while the herb was in effect was youkai essence, so if he'd so much as brushed against her he'd be able to track her now. They had to leave. He used his influence on her to lead her outside town using the other side roads rather than the main one, and met her there. Thunder rumbled in the distance and Rin heard it clearly. He played on her fear, making her run for his home once more, passing through the barrier, her scent erased once more so it could not be tracked.

Sesshomaru sensed the scent move out of town and followed it down the road a short ways until it vanished. He stopped, bewildered, and took another step forward, finding a barrier. He growled but decided to leave it alone for now. He heard the thunder rumbling again and sighed softly as it began to rain lightly, quickly getting harder. Rin would not be going anywhere tonight. He would search for her again in the morning.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: chapter bomb part 3 of 3

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The next day, and the next, Hideoko kept making excuses to Rin as to why they couldn't return to the village or leave his property. Every night he would change her memories and coax her to think the youkai she liked was really a monster. Weeks and then months passed by, and finally he felt confident he had persuaded her enough to make his move to woo her.

Rin was sitting out on the porch that September day, watching the sun set. She knew tonight was her human night and was looking forward to spending a few hours being normal again, since that was all she got anymore. She turned an ear and offered a small smile as Hideoko settled himself beside her, smiling in return. All his hard work had convinced Rin to not even think of Him or His name any longer, for He was nothing but a murderous, lustful youkai and a rapist, a foul man who had used her and given her nothing in return. Hideoko had quickly realized that if she began to think of that youkai, his hard work would begin to unravel, so he blocked it from her conscious mind. He gave her a smile as she looked back at the setting sun, more than half gone now.

"so, what do you plan to do once you're human again?" he asked her, turning to look at the sunset also. He heard her chuckle softly beside him.

"I don't know. It's only for a few hours. Just…savor it, I guess." She watched the bright oranges and yellows fade as the sky darkened further. "one thing I'd like to experience," she said suddenly, making Hideoko look back at her, "is love. Lust I know too well, but love?" her heart told her that was not true—she knew what love was, and she had it! But by now she was very good at ignoring her heart and her instincts, believing they had always led her astray in the past. The sorcerer had been very thorough in his conditioning, as he'd had to be. He smiled wider, sensing now was the time to make his move.

"Love is a rare thing, Rin, and not easily found." Rin nodded in understanding, watching as the sun was nearly gone, feeling her intense youkai energy drain away to nothing along with it. She sighed in relief as she felt suddenly cold in the twilight, her body returning to her human form for just one night, as the waxing crescent moon shone down on her.

"I kind of have forever, now, though, don't I? hanyou are kind of immortal, you said." She watched with a smile as the first stars appeared.

"Rin?"

"what is it?" she finally looked over at Hideoko again to see him looking nervously at her, a shy smile on his face.

"maybe…maybe I can offer you that…" Rin felt her face grow hot at his suggestion and stammered out, "w-what do you mean?" _I'm seventeen now, and I don't really have any prospects…and Hideoko has been nothing but kind to me all this time…_

"I mean, I could show you what love is, Rin. The way it's supposed to be." He became truly nervous as the girl looked away from him again, until he saw her shy smile.

"all right," she murmured, still blushing brightly enough to be visible in the relative darkness as night fell.

"Really?" he had to be sure of her agreement before he dared press this further. She nodded and glanced back at him for a moment.

"I'm plenty old enough. Were it not for…Him…I'd have married ages ago. I might even have a child by now." She looked sad at that thought. She may not like humans very much, and she may be distrustful of adults, but small children were adorable, and she would mind her own eventually. She'd loved the chances to care for sango's twin girls and little boy while she'd lived in the village. She glanced over again in surprise as he took her hand gently.

"I can make those bad feelings go away," he promised her. "I know you think about that youkai sometimes, Rin, and I know you wish he was a good man. But wishing will not change who he was, or what he did to you." He hid the spark of satisfaction as his words made her flinch at the false memories he'd given her.

"I-I know that," she said, sighing. "but my heart and mind don't always agree, you know." In fact, it was starting to seem to Rin as if they never agreed at all.

"but do you let your heart lead you through life, or your mind?" he asked, starting to lean closer to her.

"well," she began, puzzled by his sudden proximity, "I-I mean…"

"heart, or mind?" he asked again, scooting slightly closer. She turned a little redder.

"m-my mind, I suppose- er, what are you doing?" his nearness was making her nervous, and she giggled slightly, not bothering to move away, curious as to what he was doing.

"then you should forget about Him…he hurt you, Rin," Hideoko said, holding her hand slightly tighter. "I can be the one to mend you…" he leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek, making her giggle and close her eyes, then planted another kiss right on her lips.

Rin stiffened in shock at the feeling of lips on hers, her eyes flying open again. It immediately brought back a memory, untarnished, of the first kiss she'd shared with Him. Her heart burned, telling her something was wrong here, and she started to pant softly, wide-eyed. "I…what's this feeling?" she asked him, referring to the painful burning in her chest that was almost alarming in its intensity. He squeezed the hand he still held gently.

"it's love, Rin. Will you let me be the one to hold you?" the pain faded as suddenly as it had come, leaving a peaceful feeling in its wake, and Rin smiled softly. "it…it's nice."

He pulled her slightly closer and gently wrapped his near arm around her shoulders, letting her hand go, careful to keep his hands in chaste locations…for now. "why don't we go inside, where it's warmer? There's a nice fire going."

Rin nodded and got to her feet, settling herself by the square fire pit and allowing him to settle beside her once more. He put slight pressure on her far shoulder, encouraging her to lean over into him, and after a few moments she did so. Rin let out a contented sigh, ignoring the slight burning of her insistent heart in her chest, trying to warn her something was wrong still.

"Rin," Hideoko began, "I love you…"

The words surprised Rin, but didn't alarm her. That was a good thing, wasn't it? She didn't know how to reply and he sighed, rubbing her shoulder lightly as he held her against him carefully. At length, he spoke again. "are you sleepy, Rin? Humans need rest, you know."

"I'm fine. It's nice to just be human for a while. Dawn comes too soon for me." He frowned a little where she couldn't see. Dawn came too early for him too, returning her to that awful hanyou form he regretted cursing her with. But he couldn't risk undoing the curse until she agreed to be his, with no reservation.

"still, you ought to rest." She yawned slightly at his words, making him smirk. "come to bed. It's late, and we both need to rest. You're right, dawn comes too soon." He added the layer of extra persuasion to his voice and felt her relax a bit in his arms. It was far easier to manipulate her as a human than a hanyou. He got to his feet and took her hand to guide her, seeing her slightly vacant eyes. Rather than dropping her off at the spare room she'd been using, he took her along to his own room, letting her in and watching her get ready for bed as she always did, seemingly unaware she was in a different room next to a much bigger futon. He settled himself into his bed and let her lay next to him, rolling toward him and yawning, shutting her eyes.

Hideoko let his persuasion drop, since he wanted a full and proper reaction, then pulled her gently closer, watching her smile as she was drifting off to sleep. She was beautiful in the dim light cast by a nearby oil lamp, with her slightly olive-tinted skin and raven hair, small and slight and perfectly shaped. He couldn't resist the temptation any longer, and leaned forward once again, kissing her neck and caressing her fine body, covered only by a single thin underlayer—

 _SMACK._

Rin had been almost asleep, barely aware of Hideoko in the bed beside her, until _that._ She found herself on her feet within heartbeats, her arms crossed over her chest, one hand stinging with the force with which she'd struck his cheek. She could clearly see the bright red hand-mark on his face as he sat up, groaning and clutching at it. "Rin…I'm sorry!" he said, looking up at her wide-eyed, alarmed face. She quickly bent and grabbed her clothing before bolting from the room, starting to cry. As if she wanted to hear that now! She hid in the far corner of her room, which shared a wall with his, and curled in a ball, starting to sob bitterly, wrapping her quilt around her for protection.

"H-he said…that he loved me…but really he's no different than Him!" she sobbed, covering her face. In his room, Hideoko sat stunned. How…how had he failed? Why didn't she like what he'd done, after all he'd changed her memories? And what had possessed him to think he could move so fast as to take her like some sake-house girl? Her beauty must have simply overwhelmed him. But now it sounded as if he'd lost his chance, and he knew a girl with love was far more than 'once bitten, twice shy'. There was not time left to make her his wife. He scowled darkly. That made his path clear. If he could not have the beautiful Rin, then no one would have her. And he knew that Youkai she'd been pining after all this time was still searching for her across the land. He could use her as a lure for him and simply rid the world of both of them in one fell swoop. He allowed a foul smirk to cross his face. He would wait another month, when the curse would become permanent after Rin's next human day, and use her to kill him…perfect.

* * *

As he had expected, Rin avoided him completely for several days after the incident, refusing to so much as look him in the eye. It was the morning of the day she would turn human once more, and she was sitting up a tree, staring into the distance. "Rin, will you come down a moment? I need your help with something," Hideoko called. She hopped down, frowning at him, and he suddenly grabbed her head, reversing everything he'd done to alter her memories. She dropped to her knees in terrible pain, then looked up, crying, as her mind finally matched up with what her heart had been trying to tell her all this time. He let the outer barrier around his property down and spread Rin's scent on the wind. Then he threw a powder in her face, making her feel suddenly weak. He grabbed her arm and dragged her inside. As the sun disappeared from Rin's face, she caught the faintest whiff of a precious, familiar scent on the breeze.

"Sessho…maru…sama?"


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Saturday teaser chapter! Beware the fight scene!

to ktvalmiri (and others): my updates are one chapter saturday and a block on sunday, every week unless I say different! never fear, more is coming!

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Sesshomaru was in the garden of his manor, sitting by the Koi pond, when he caught a whiff of scent he had despaired ever finding again. He was on his feet in an instant, his nose in the air. "it can't be…" he turned and ran from the garden, simply leaping over the wall even though the gate was wide open for the day, running as fast as his youkai speed could possibly carry him. _Rin…I'm coming!_

Rin was quickly tied in Hideoko's house with both ropes and shackles, and even a collar to keep her in check. The herbs he'd given her would take hours to wear off anyway, but he didn't want her escaping. "what are you doing?" Rin whimpered, terrified as she now knew every kind gesture the man had ever done for her was all a lie.

"you," he told Rin, "are the honey in the trap. I was one of many at the spring festival last year, and I knew then I had to have you. But you chose, after everything, to refuse me. You can only pine after that Damned Youkai. So I'm going to use you to bring him here, and then I'm going to kill him." He caressed her face with a wicked grin. "then, I'll give you one last chance to stay with me. And if you refuse, then you'll be joining him in the underworld." Rin shivered, turning her head away from him.

"you won't beat him," she said in a low voice. "and even if you could, I'd never stay with you. You've only ever lied to me." The gentle hand turned into a painful grip on her chin, forcing her to look at him.

"in that case, you seal your fate. This will be a simpler thing than I thought…" he roughly let her go and walked outside to wait for the youkai lord, not knowing how far away he was…

Rin's scent was faint at best and rather difficult to track, but Sesshomaru slowly honed in on it, staying alert for any traps or barriers along his path. After the initial burst of her scent that he'd alerted on, it had faded greatly, almost to nothing once more. He returned to the village he'd met her in, sensing he was getting closer, then went into the next village, where he'd found her hair months ago. There had been a barrier very nearby, but he didn't sense it now. He moved in that direction, his guard up, alert and wary.

When Sesshomaru reached where the barrier once was, he found it was gone. He gripped the hilt of Bakusaiga nervously, sensing something was very wrong ahead, and Rin was in danger once again, though perhaps not immediate danger. It was well after noon, nearly evening, when he finally reached the property that was filled with Rin's scent in every tree and footstep. There was a youkai barrier around the house and buildings, he could see.

Hideoko smirked as he sensed the youkai enter the property, and stepped out to the porch to meet him, clutching a bag of herbs and a handful of sutra papers. He already knew the papers were unlikely to do anything to what was clearly a Daiyoukai, but he wanted the man to underestimate his power and let his guard down.

"begone, Mononoke!" he ordered, throwing the papers. As he expected, they didn't leave a mark on the white-haired man, who only narrowed his eyes slightly in annoyance.

"where is she?" the youkai demanded in a low voice thick with anger. Though he didn't look it, for he was a master of the 'poker face', Sesshomaru was barely containing his rage. His left hand was resting lightly on the hilt of his sword, ready to break the seal of the scabbard to make it easy to draw with lightning speed. He didn't like the man's unconcerned look and seemingly innocent shrug—he could spot false weakness anywhere and knew the man was more powerful than he looked.

"she who? I don't know who you're talking about." Hideoko could not hear Rin inside his house, but her hanyou ears had brought her back to full consciousness the instant she'd heard Sesshomaru's deep voice from outside. She struggled against the ties and shackles, cutting her skin at the wrists and making herself bleed with the effort she was putting in. she had to get free! "Sesshomaru-sama!"

Sesshomaru couldn't contain a soft growl of intense anger. "I am here for Rin. Her blood is unmistakable. Give her over to me, and I will let you live." He stood stock-still and staring at the man, who looked just as unconcerned as before.

"strange, isn't it? She has been staying under my roof for months now, and only now do you come to claim her?" Hideoko taunted the youkai, knowing he was safe behind his barrier. His smirk grew a little as the youkai growled again, not having a good response to that. "why is that?"

"bring her to me, NOW!" Sesshomaru snarled, his anger no longer able to be contained. The claws on his right hand began to glow dangerously, and Hideoko noted it.

"have you no patience, mononoke? I shall give her to you in time." The sun was setting, the red orb just touching the horizon. Perfect. He nonchalantly walked inside, taking his sweet time, knowing that Sesshomaru could not get through his barrier. Nothing could get in he didn't want. But anything could go out.

"come here, girl," he ordered, untying her and grabbing her by the arm to pull outside. She didn't protest as much as he expected, able to sense that Sesshomaru was outside. She looked up when she felt the sun on her face, seeing him more angry than he'd ever been. But the moment he saw her, the only thing she could find in his eyes was concern for her.

"what have you done to her?" Sesshomaru demanded of Hideoko, seeing Rin's bloody and bruised wrists from her struggling. He could smell that her blood was very nearly its normal human scent, because of course this was the same night as when she'd been human those months ago.

"I didn't do anything to her," Hideoko sighed, looking down his nose at her with disdain. "she did that to herself." Rin stared at Sesshomaru, her dog ears pinned down to her head in worry. The man still held her arm tightly or she would have run to him as fast as she could manage. "I suppose you want her back, then? She's no use to me."

Despite the apparent danger, Sesshomaru only had eyes for Rin, taking in every detail of her, good and bad. Because of the setting sun, her bloody wrists were not healing, and that above all worried him. "give her to me. I have been searching for you for months, Rin. I'm sorry I ever walked away from you. I swear I never will again."

"oh, how sweet," mocked the man, still holding Rin tight. "yes, I think you should be together…" she was elated at those words, and tried to step forward as he released her arm. "—in hell!" Hideoko spat, drawing his small healer's knife and plunging the thin blade through Rin's kidney.

The instant Sesshomaru saw the knife in Hideoko's hand he darted forward, forgetting the barrier completely, trying desperately to block the blow from reaching Rin. He wouldn't have been fast enough even if he could have reached her. He bounced off the barrier and got back to his feet, eyes wide. "Rin!"

Rin felt nothing but a hot stab of pain in her lower back so awful it brought her to her knees. She held herself up on her hands, her arms shaking as blood dripped onto the wooden porch under her stomach from the small, deep, incredibly painful wound. The pain and heat seemed to spread from the wound in her back, burning through her, changing her blood as her vision faded red…

Sesshomaru could do nothing but watch in horror as he scented Rin's blood—once so close to human—shift dangerously the opposite direction, becoming sour with yoki, demonic energy. The wound Hideoko had given her would easily be fatal to a human, and the youkai blood Rin was cursed with acted to protect itself. He had seen the same with his little brother. Rin started to growl dangerously and Sesshomaru's fearless heart skipped a beat at the sight of her altered face, with glowing red, white-pupilled eyes, monstrous fangs, and sharp, jagged pink stripes on her cheeks like sideways lightning marks, something like a sharper, more dangerous version of his mother's markings.

What could he do? He had to stop her, somehow, without hurting her, and quickly, for he had no idea what might happen if she was still in this state when the sun fully set. This was the last person on all the earth he wanted to fight, but he would have no choice. He took his hand off his sword, shifting his feet into a slightly more balanced stance better for hand to hand combat.

Rin's red view of the world could only register threats and things to kill. And there was a massive threat right in front of her. She lunged suddenly, fangs bared and claws extended, snarling ferociously.

Sesshomaru braced for the impact, for teeth and claws—that didn't come. The impact certainly did, knocking them both to the ground, but she neither bit nor scratched him. She'd tucked her head in and curled in her claws at the last second as if she had recognized him, but he could see in her eyes that wasn't the case. She was still no better than an animal out for blood. While they were both still on the ground he took advantage, wrapping her far too tight in his arms with one around her neck in a lock. She struggled against him, somehow careful not to draw blood, until he felt her fall limp in his arms, just as the sun fully set, and her hair faded to black, her blood becoming sweet once more. He sighed softly and laid her gently on the ground before returning his attention to the cause of all this grief, who was cleaning his knife on the side of his robes.

Hideoko tried to hide his disappointment and slight dismay that he had not been able to kill the youkai with the girl's own hands. He so hated having to do his own dirty work directly…it was much less fun. "pity, I thought she'd be stronger. Ah, well. I suppose you'll want to fight—" before the sorcerer could finish his sentence he was cowering as his barrier began to crumble from the force of the strike of a demon blade. Sesshomaru had drawn his sword at last, and had a glare that promised nothing short of death in the worst possible way. Hideoko had dared to hurt Rin, and not just once, and not just physically. Death was far less than he deserved, but it was exactly what Sesshomaru was going to give him.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: chapter bomb part 1 of 2

bet you didn't see this coming...

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Hideoko had known that the youkai he would be fighting would be strong. He had no idea he would be _this_ strong. He hadn't accounted for the blades in Sesshomaru's possession, since he hadn't seen them before at the festival. In fact, at that time he had only seen one very ordinary looking blade at the white-haired man's side, when he clearly now had three. Two of those swords, one without a scabbard and the other in his hand, clearly glowed with a dangerous demonic power, on top of Sesshomaru's formidable strength. Hideoko would have to take him down a peg if he had any hope of winning.

Sesshomaru was staring intently at the man as he stayed behind his barrier, plotting his next move. His sword, Bakusaiga, glowed faintly in his hand. He was standing in front of Rin's prone form in the middle of the courtyard, protecting her from any potential further harm. He couldn't help but worry for her, able to smell her blood as it stained the dirt beneath her from her wounds. He remembered again that a knife to the kidney was fatal to a human…he could not lose her now!

Seeing the split concentration, Hideoko smirked, pouring some powder into his hand from the little bag of dried herbs he'd brought out and tossing it into the air. It was a blend of the same type he'd used on Rin earlier, and would vastly weaken the Youkai while doing nothing to him, a human. Sesshomaru covered his nose with his sleeve the moment he caught a whiff of the dangerous drug, feeling it start to affect him immediately.

"something wrong, mononoke?" the man taunted as Sesshomaru growled again, keeping his sleeve up to prevent him from breathing more of the dust until it settled to the ground safely. It clearly didn't affect humans, he noticed. He had also noticed the barrier waver when he'd hit it with his sword. One more good hit should destroy it…but he'd have to stir the dust and risk breathing in quite a bit of it.

"did you figure out yet, that it was I who cursed dear Rin?" Hideoko asked Sesshomaru with a wicked grin. "but that doesn't matter now, does it? For when she wakes once more—if she wakes—she will be a hanyou forever. The curse has been sealed by the surge of youkai blood, and tonight marks six months as well. There's nothing you can do to get back your human pet any longer." The dust had mostly settled and Sesshomaru lowered his sleeve once more to reply shortly.

"I didn't fall in love with a human. I fell in love with Rin. Her soul, not her form." He tensed slightly, preparing to attack to bring down the barrier once the dust was finished settling.

"all the better, then, that when she turns savage again and again that soul you love will slowly be destroyed before your eyes, until she's nothing but a mindless animal, like you just saw!" Hideoko crowed in triumph. "a fitting end, I think."

The sudden blow from Sesshomaru's sword shattered the barrier and split the house in half—hideoko only barely managed to get out of the way. "even if it does nothing for her, you will die tonight!" Sesshomaru spat, ignoring the draining feeling as the powder was stirred up and he breathed in quite a bit of it with his attack. The awful glow of his sword dimmed significantly as he was weakened, and the man's smirk returned at the sight that his drug was working against the youkai.

"somehow, I doubt that," Hideoko told him, dropping the bag of herb dust at his feet and redrawing his knife. It honestly looked like quite a pathetic thing against Sesshomaru's sword, but it was wickedly sharp and he was able to easily coat it in poison if he chose to. He'd refrained from poisoning it for Rin, wanting her to have a better chance of survival, but had replaced it in a separate sheath that contained a potent poison when he'd put it away. It would surely be perfect to take down the youkai easily.

Sesshomaru was unaware of how much the drug had weakened him until he moved to run toward the man and stumbled, nearly falling for a moment. He hadn't felt so weak in living memory, especially when he wasn't wounded in the slightest. He glanced down at his sword, seeing it would now be next to useless with the little aura he could muster. He sheathed it and snarled, still walking forward, determined to kill Hideoko with his bare hands if he had to.

The sorcerer watched as the youkai stalked determinedly toward him, visibly weakened by the drug to near the level of a human. Surely Hideoko was more powerful than him now! Sesshomaru was frustrated that he could not even summon his whip or his poisonous aura to use against the sorcerer. He focused harder with every step, surprised the man wasn't running. Only fools didn't run.

"how nice of you to conserve my energy for killing you," Hideoko mocked as he watched the youkai come closer to the porch. He held the poison knife loosely, waiting for him to come in range. "it won't make it any more merciful, I'm afraid." He heard the man snarl as his eyes started to glow red.

Sesshomaru resorted to his last reserves of demonic energy, feeling they would be necessary to defeat this man as quickly as he could. Since the man was a sorcerer, so long as he could kill him before dawn, or before Rin woke, he could still save her from the curse. The man just smirked at him as he grew closer. "look at you, nothing but a beast. You don't deserve Rin. She could bear a worthy man fine children, but her talents would be wasted on a monster like you."

Hideoko wasn't expecting Sesshomaru's sudden burst of blinding speed. He suddenly found himself slammed against what remained of the wall of his house, held up by a clawed hand around his neck. "you don't deserve her either," Sesshomaru snarled lowly. "a man less worthy of Rin's affections does not exist." Hideoko realized he had the white-haired man right where he wanted him and quickly stabbed him in the upper arm with the small poisoned knife, expecting an immediate reaction.

Sesshomaru did not seem to even notice the knife beyond a momentary flash of annoyance at the pain. He knew it was probably poisoned, but he was immune to almost every natural poison because of his own abilities. For the first time, Hideoko actually looked scared.

The red-eyed youkai tightened his grip on the man's neck and he started to choke, grabbing his wrist with both hands in desperation. "Die," Sesshomaru commanded, tightening his grip further and further until something gave under his hand with a sharp, awful crunch and the light in the sorcerer's eyes was gone. He dropped the body to the ground in disgust, then pulled the knife from his arm and dropped it on the corpse, turning away.

Sesshomaru moved as quickly as he could to Rin, scooping her gently into his arms, brushing her bangs from her face. She was a little feverish and sweaty from pain and still bleeding, but a lot less than he'd expected her to. He gently turned her body to the side for a moment, finding the wound only superficial, all the internal damage healed by her bout of youkai blood. He gave a deep sigh of relief and hefted her into his arms, surprised how heavy she seemed to be now. Life-threatening or not, her wounds needed immediate treatment. He walked as quickly as he could to the nearby village after field-dressing her wound with part of his sleeve. "hold on, Rin…I've got you."


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: chapter bomb part 2 of 2

I…don't know how to preface this. Have fun? Feels warning

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Rin woke with a beam of soft, warm sunlight on her face for the first time in months. She moved her hand to cover her eyes feebly, wincing. She felt the press of a bandage on her wrist as it touched her forehead. "huh?"

"oh, good, you're awake," an old woman's voice said from beside Rin, and she was shaded as a stranger bent over her with a damp cloth. "you gave us all quite a fright last night." Rin cracked her eyes open to see a kindly old woman hunched over her, smiling gently.

"where am I?" Rin asked, confused. "ah! Where is Sesshomaru-sama? Is he here?" she tried to pin her ears, but they didn't move. She reached for her head and found nothing on top of it, then found her normal, human ear, and started to cry in relief. It was finally over. The sun was up, and she was still a human.

"that youkai who brought you here, demanding we heal you?" the woman asked with slight amusement. "he left at dawn, but said he would be back very soon." She patted Rin's hand gently. "you're in the village just to the south of the Amaterasu shrine. You're safe, and you're going to recover." Rin shifted, trying to sit up, only to let out a sharp curse at a sudden awful pain in her lower back. "stay down! I said you'll recover, not that you were already healed!"

Rin's eyes watered in pain as the woman carefully checked to make sure she hadn't torn her stitches. She sighed in relief and relaxed again. "you just rest, I'll fetch you some water and something to eat," the woman soothed, getting up and leaving her for a few moments.

Sesshomaru returned to the village late in the morning, carrying a few medicinal plants he'd managed to scavenge from the garden of his former enemy. The drug had taken its time wearing off, but he was finally feeling back to his old self. He had hoped to be back before Rin woke, but it seemed he hadn't managed as he heard her sweet voice through the walls of the healer's hut. He met the woman as she left to fetch things, startling her a bit. "she's awake and asking for you, milord," the woman stated, holding out her hands for the herbs.

"is she able to be moved yet?" he asked softly, handing over the herbs. He'd stayed by Rin's side until dawn, when it was obvious the curse was broken and that she was going to survive and recover fully. He had even rested himself, somewhat, completely exhausted due to the lingering effects of the drug.

"you can see her, but I want to make sure she can eat and drink before I allow her out of my care." Sesshomaru bowed slightly in thanks and stepped into the hut, pushing the door screen out of the way. Rin smiled as soon as she saw him and made the mistake of trying to sit up again. She suddenly let out another loud and very rude curse, then turned beet red, ashamed at her mouth. He couldn't contain a quiet chuckle, both at her foul mouth and her shame at displaying it.

Rin's ashamed blush softened to one of pleasure as Sesshomaru seated himself beside her, nearer her head, and began to idly brush her bangs from her face with a gentle hand. "I…I thought I lost you…" he murmured softly after a moment, his hand on her head stilling. "I kept searching after that day—I was so ashamed I had turned you away. I was a fool, Rin, and I apologize."

Rin shook her head gently, offering a small, sad smile. "it's not your fault. And it's over now, anyway. I'm here. There's no need to worry any longer." He hummed softly, sounding doubtful, noting her injuries. She sighed at that. He was right, she was in bad shape, she could feel it.

The woman returned with food and water and Sesshomaru insisted on being the one to help Rin eat and drink. She was embarrassed again that she needed the help, but accepted it. After she managed to finish everything, she felt quite drowsy. "rest, my dear Rin. When you wake again I will take you back home."

Rin fell asleep rather quickly as Sesshomaru went back to gently stroking her black hair, admiring its inky color. She turned her head to the side, letting out a soft snore, and Sesshomaru saw the two tiny scars on her neck, just under her ear. He remembered biting her there, months ago, but had no idea such a slight wound would scar, especially when it had stopped bleeding almost as soon as he'd left it. He frowned in confusion, feeling the scars had some significance but not knowing what it may be. Jaken would probably know more, and he could ask the faithful imp once they returned home. Something drew him to touch the markings, and the moment he did he flinched back, surprised at a sharp, lightning-like tingle through his body from his hand. Rin sucked in a sharp breath and shivered slightly as she woke again, looking up at him in confusion.

"it's all right, Rin. Try to rest." She closed her eyes again trustingly, drifting off once more, and Sesshomaru stared at his hands in surprise. what was that? Such an intense feeling…and not a bad one, he wouldn't say. He definitely had to ask about the scars as soon as he could. What was even more bewildering was the fact that he seemed to have missed his usual cycle for the Running, which was this very week. He didn't feel any of the usual instinctive urges. The only urges he got were protective ones towards Rin, and a powerful need to claim his territory and defend it.

By the time Rin woke again, the sun was heading toward the horizon, and she found herself cradled in a strong set of familiar arms. Unsettled by the intense feelings he'd experienced, Sesshomaru had decided to leave early with the healer's permission, assuring her he had his own healer at home who would take over. Rin blinked up at him, smiling softly at the view of his sharp jaw and the pink stripes across his cheek, and his pretty golden eye. He noticed she had woken and looked down, offering a tiny smile back to her. They passed under the archway of the garden wall and Rin smiled wider as she realized they were home at last.

After carrying her upstairs and pausing for a moment, he turned slightly and gently laid Rin in his own futon, in his room. He told the healer what had happened and the man told him there was nothing more he could do to heal her faster. Then the youkai lord called in his faithful servant, the scars at the front of his mind.

Jaken took his time exclaiming over Rin with ecstatic joy, until even Sesshomaru was a little embarrassed by his carrying on. "jaken," he said shortly, getting the imp's attention, "I need you to look at those marks and tell me what they are." He stilled immediately and looked at Rin's neck closely for a few moments.

"well, Sesshomaru-sama, I do hope it was you who left this mark," he began.

"and what is that supposed to mean?" Sesshomaru growled impatiently.

"you DIDN'T leave that mark?" he squawked in alarm, earning himself a swift lump on the head.

"yes, I did. Now what does it mean, you stupid creature?!" the inuyoukai demanded with a growl.

"er, well, milord…that's an InuYoukai's mating mark, if my memory serves me right."

Sesshomaru's eyes went wide with surprise, and Rin's were as well. She looked up at him questioningly. "did…you mean to do that, Sesshomaru-sama?" she asked him timidly.

"no, it was certainly an accident—" seeing the hurt in her eyes, he quickly clarified, "it was a happy accident! I'm glad it happened."

"it may have been an accident in execution, milord, but in order for this mark to appear you both had to be willing to be mated, and have intent to be paired," Jaken stated matter-of-factly. "I'd say this has been the root of all your recent problems, and they should be easily resolved now. If you like, I know how to break the mark—mmph!" Rin had reached over and pinched the imp's beak shut, hushing him. "why would I want that?" Rin asked softly, gazing up at Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru waved one hand, dismissing Jaken without another glance in his direction. "then…you want this? You wish to stay by my side as long as you may live?" he asked her, gazing into the cinnamon depths of her eyes. She nodded. "I want to be with you forever, mates or married or whatever you want to call it. I want to be with you, and only you… if you want me."

An intense feeling suddenly overwhelmed Sesshomaru and without another thought he gently brushed Rin's bangs from her forehead. "I claim you, Rin, as my one true mate, from this day into eternity." He bent to kiss her forehead and she hissed in slight pain. When he sat up once more, he smiled widely—for on Rin's brow rested the perfect crescent moon, marking her as his own for all to see. He began to trace it with the pad of one finger and Rin smiled wider as she felt the shape he was tracing. She suddenly felt much better, not realizing their much closer link allowed her to heal much quicker and more easily. He shifted to lay down, gathering her into his arms and telling himself she would never be without his protection as long as she lived. He nuzzled her gently as she relaxed, finally able to enjoy the scent that so soothed him once more.

For a few long, blissful moments, the world was simple and right, and Sesshomaru did not have a care in it. He simply lay in his bed, listening to his love breathe as if it were the sweetest music on earth, and closed his eyes.

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A/N: this concludes arc one of the story! tune in next saturday for the beginning of the second arc!


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: Saturday teaser chapter! lots of fluff of every kind

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After a few weeks of rest and relaxation, getting things back to normal, Sesshomaru felt he had never been happier. He finished signing the latest in a set of treaties, weighting it with stones to dry and taking a break, getting to his feet and following his mate's scent out to the garden. His feet squeaked faintly on the thin layer of fresh snow that had fallen the night before, marking the end of november. Rin looked up at the sound from where she'd been sitting by the koi pond, watching the lazy fish.

Rin got to her feet to greet her beloved, a wide smile on her face. "how are your treaties going?" she asked him, hugging him and snuggling into his moko, enjoying the warmth of the fur with a happy hum. He wrapped his strong arms tightly around her, enjoying her slight frame filled out for the time being with thick layers of winter clothing.

"long, and boring, but well." He smiled slightly down at her, suddenly getting a powerful whiff of sweet scent from her. She always smelled very nice to him, with a certain undefinable sweetness better than any natural scent. Ordinarily, the scent was mild, and soothing, but with the extra sweetness it was somehow exciting. She looked up at him and her scent shifted a little as she stayed in his arms. _Oh._

Rin smiled at him again, not knowing what he had noticed nor realizing what time of month it was. She hadn't even gotten her blood as a hanyou, she supposed because her human day was the equivalent. "Rin, do you know what is coming?" he asked her softly, the intense look in his eyes she'd seen before. She knew it was too late for him to be in heat…but she didn't know he hadn't followed the season due to the mate bond they'd only discovered less than two months ago. That same bond, far stronger now, had pulled him into line with her, simply doing its job. She felt her face go red and turned her head away, her heart speeding up as she could feel her body respond to the look in his eyes and the slight tension in his body. She nodded mutely, then stepped back and took his hand instead.

"let's go inside, I'm getting cold," she told him, tugging lightly, not that she needed to. He was putting his full concentration into not simply scooping her up impatiently. She moved so slowly! She walked up the stairs with him in tow, turning to him once the door to their room was shut. His arms were around her in an instant and she shivered faintly, knowing this would be more like the first time than the second. This time, though, she was almost in the same state he was, her skin feeling feverish…

She settled into his arms afterward, blinking tiredly, a few new marks on both of them. She wrapped an arm around him as well, intending to trap him. "those treaties can wait until tomorrow," she told him softly. "stay with me." He chuckled softly and kissed her head.

"I planned to."

She snoozed in his arms until the sun went down that winter day, and jaken knocked at the door to tell them dinner was ready whenever they chose to eat. Rin heard and decided to ignore it, nuzzling Sesshomaru's chest and keeping her eyes closed. She was warm and comfortable and didn't want to move. He sighed and sat up. "come on, love. Dinnertime." Rin mumbled and pulled the quilt over her head. "fine, no dinner for you," he joked, tying his underlayer back on. A pair of eyes peeked out from the quilt, then a hand appeared, palm up and fingers wiggling, demanding clothes. He handed her back her own winter underlayer and she threw the quilt aside, tying the clothes on as quick as she could, because the room was cold. Sesshomaru quickly looked away as it was very distractingly obvious just how cold the room was to Rin…

After they finished dressing, they had a leisurely dinner before retiring for the night. The next two days, neither of them did anything productive, simply spending most of their time in one another's arms. Another three days passed with treaties and etiquette lessons and plenty of cuddles without the lovemaking as the urges faded on both their parts.

Rin woke as the waxing crescent moon of december shone through the window screen very early one morning, long before sunrise. There was a tiny yet sharp pain in her lower stomach, and she thought at first that Sesshomaru was accidentally poking her with one of his claws, until she realized both his hands were wrapped around the bottom of her ribs. The little pain disappeared as suddenly as it had come and Rin soon forgot about it, going back to sleep until dawn.

Sesshomaru was frowning over the latest treaty from the Dou clan when he smelled lunch and Rin carrying it. He set his brush down and turned to her as she smiled at him, setting the tray down on the low table. He got to his feet to settle beside her as she poured tea for them and offered a tiny smile. How strange this all seemed to him, sometimes. He had spent centuries on his own, the only thing on his mind his quest for power. Now here he sat opposite the love of his existence, a human woman, who was smiling at him and pouring his tea in their house! Surely a stranger turn of events for his life he couldn't even imagine. He took a deep breath, loving how her scent now wreathed around him constantly on all sides. He noticed it had changed slightly again, having the faintest note of added warmth. Maybe he was just imagining it, or maybe it was normal just before she got her blood, and he'd just never noticed, not having been around her at that time much. He took his teacup and sipped appreciatively as she started on her lunch enthusiastically.

By that evening, he had to admit he wasn't imagining it. The note of warmth was faint, but it was there. He frowned a little in concern and decided to call Jaken in once more, thinking perhaps his faithful servant might know what was causing the shift.

Jaken came in and he sniffed at Rin's wrist for a few moments, making her squirm nervously. He looked up and shook his head. "whatever it is, Sesshomaru-sama, I cannot detect it. It is more than likely nothing." Sesshomaru let out a faint sigh of relief. "all right. Thank you." The imp bowed and left quickly.

"what was that about?" Rin grumbled, shaking her wrist and rubbing it to get rid of the funny sensation of hot breath. "I'm fine."

"I know. I just worry about you, that's all." Rin smiled at Sesshomaru's words and leaned against him, closing her eyes contentedly, letting him pull her close. "sleep, my love. You seem tired." She nodded and got ready for bed.

The next day, new worries for him arrived in the form of the scroll delivery. In among the usual treaties and such was a handwritten note from his mother, obvious both from her seal and the fact she must have rubbed her cheek on the paper to get such a powerful dose of her scent to cling to it. He groaned loud enough to wake Rin, who was sleeping oddly late that morning. She looked up and rubbed one eye. "what is it?"

"a note from my mother again. I wonder what she must want this time?" he opened the seal on the note and unfolded it, reading it aloud. "My Dearest Son, it has come to my attention there are rumors around the lands about you. You declined meeting with me in april due to a personal emergency, which, rumor has it, has been happily resolved. I wish you to come to the palace with all haste so I may test the truth of these rumors. Come alone, unless you have someone I need to meet." He sighed again and set the note down. "mother…"

"it's all right, you can go. Just visit and then she'll leave you alone." Rin got up and dressed for the day, fixing her hair so her moon showed clearly once again. "what do you want for breakfast?" she asked, turning around to find him packing a bag. When he left to travel, he never took anything with him. when he noticed Rin's blank look, he paused.

"you're coming with me, and we're leaving now. Tell the cooks to prepare a day's food for you." Rin's blank look changed to confusion. "it's all right, my love. With the moon on your brow, no one can touch you. You'll be perfectly safe, I promise. Even my mother would not dare try anything." He stepped to her side and stroked her cheek gently in reassurance.

"well…how will we get there? It's a very long way, isn't it? Should I fetch Ah-Un from the stable?" he shook his head at her questions.

"no need. I will take you myself." Rin's eyes sparkled with awe at the thought of seeing him in his true form, which she'd only witnessed a tiny handful of times before. He was a truly magnificent creature, if a bit intimidating by nature. She met him in the garden after doing what he'd said to find him standing in the middle, clear of the trees. Once she could see him, he allowed the transformation to begin, thick smoke covering his human form as it changed, warping gruesomely before settling into his massive true form as the smoke cleared. Rin watched the whole thing in awe of him, staring up to his face as he looked down at her with one red-sclera eye. He closed his mouth to hide his impressive fangs and shrugged his shoulders once or twice to settle the transformation, shaking himself lightly. Then he settled to the ground in front of her, tucking his feet in and hoping he wasn't so tall she couldn't climb up. His ears drooped as she started to giggle at the sight of him folding himself up like a common dog. He deliberately let out a sharp puff from his nose that almost knocked her over, reminding her to show at least a little respect!

Rin sighed, both awed and amused by her husband. She stepped forward and patted the side of his muzzle, giving him a tiny smooch before moving to his shoulder to climb up. She found a convenient dip the perfect size for her in thehollow spot between his shoulderblades, and settled into it, enjoying his soft fur. Once he could feel she was settled he got carefully back to his feet and jumped over the garden wall, hurrying on his way to his mother's palace.


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: chapter bomb part 1 of ?

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Though they left in the morning, Sesshomaru and Rin did not reach the palace until nearly sunset on that early December day. Rin had long since fallen asleep, soothed by the rocking of the fluffy 'hammock' she rested in, between his shoulder blades. She didn't notice when he stopped, but she sat up sharply in alarm when he lightly shook himself to wake her. She thought there was an earthquake at first, until she remembered where she was. He bowed, resting his forelegs on the ground, then put his chin between his paws, encouraging her to climb down by walking off his nose. She turned scarlet in embarrassment at how that might look to others and hurried down, watching her feet and hands. She gave a sigh of relief and turned around—

"WAAAH!" Rin shrieked in terror at the surprise sight of a second white hound nearly as massive as Sesshomaru standing in front of her, staring inquisitively down at the raven-haired woman. Rin quickly backed under her husband's front legs, hiding behind one as he lowered his head again, raising one lip to bare a few fangs in warning. The feminine InuYoukai seemed very amused at the exchange and suddenly disappeared in a cloud of lavender-colored smoke, appearing as a white-haired noblewoman no bigger than Rin was.

"Sesshomaru, my son, how nice of you to finally come and visit," the golden-eyed woman smirked. "I can see some rumors are true already." She nodded to his left foreleg, which had been missing when she'd last seen her son almost ten years ago. He gave a slight nod, then tipped his head upside down momentarily to make sure Rin was all right before he shifted back to his humanoid form. Rin gasped in surprise as the smoke cloud enveloped her as well, and she wound up behind him, hiding in his moko.

"in any case, I think you have some explaining to do. It's been ages, my son." She frowned slightly at the black-haired young woman who was hiding behind him, hoping he would explain her first.

"yes, I suppose it has." He sighed. It wasn't that he didn't like his mother…just that they never seemed to agree on very much, and thus, it was difficult to be around her for very long. "do you remember Rin?" he asked, taking half a step to the side to show off the young woman before she hid behind his moko again. Her hair had blown loose from its tie and covered her mark almost completely, so his mother couldn't see it.

"the little girl?" she smirked slightly and nodded. "yes. So you've kept her." She didn't like the way the human clung to her high-bred son, and sniffed suspiciously, her nose confirming her fear. "about time," she joked, letting none of her misgivings show. "your Otoutou's got two already." Neither Sesshomaru nor the human seemed to know what she was talking about.

"you wished to speak with me?" Sesshomaru prompted, suspicious of his mother's motives in all this. He heard Rin blow her bangs from her face and realize her hairpin had come loose, so she turned even farther behind him to fix it, exposing the moon on her forehead once more.

"well, yes. I've been hearing all sorts of rumors about you, and I wanted to know which, if any, were true." She decided to play dumb and see just how much he would be willing to admit to. "first of all, and most intriguing, I've heard you took a mate, and that was why you wouldn't come before. But if you have taken a mate, then why haven't you brought her along? I would love to meet her." She offered him a warm smile as his face showed slight confusion. She couldn't be serious…could she?

"but…I have, mother. She is standing behind me." He moved sideways again and wrapped his arm around the human woman to keep her from hiding. The Lady Mother's eyes widened in shock and she had to restrain herself from reacting beyond that at the sight of the moon on her brow. She prayed it was a prank he was playing. Surely her son, her only son and heir, would not be so foolish as to take a human to wife! And not just that, but to take her as his one true mate, preventing him, once she died, from ever taking another? But her nose did not deceive her, nor did her eyes. She collected herself quickly.

"well…I suppose, as far as _humans_ go, you chose well." He looked down slightly, trying to hide his relief at her attempted compliment. "though I think this raises more questions." She sniffed lightly again just to re-confirm her earlier assessment, and looked up at her son. "have you come to congratulate me?"

"congratulate you? What for?" Sesshomaru was even more suspicious of his mother than before. He held Rin a little closer to his side to protect her as the white-haired woman covered her mouth with her sleeve and seemed to giggle.

"don't tell me you don't know, my son."

"what exactly do you think I don't know?" She frowned behind her layered sleeve as she realized he was completely serious and didn't know. She lowered her hand once more and scoffed.

"tsk- your father never taught you anything about women, did he?" except, apparently, human women, she thought angrily. He glanced momentarily at Rin, then back to his mother, who fixed him with a firm, serious, listen-up-this-is-important stare.

"Sesshomaru. Your mate is with child."

His face changed instantly from suspicious confusion to wonderment and cautious joy, and he glanced at his human once again. Rin still looked confused, as apparently she didn't recognize what the phrase meant. "with child?" he asked as if to confirm he'd heard right. The shift, the added warmth to Rin's scent, it all made sense now.

His mother had to hide her disgust at the wonderment and pleasure in his voice. This was not something to celebrate! "yes, she's pregnant. Surely you can smell it if I can." Finally, the human's face changed too—and the Lady Mother was dismayed to find the girl was just as joyous as her son. Rin turned to him and they embraced briefly, clearly celebrating the happy news. That needed to stop, and quickly.

"in all my centuries, raising and teaching you, my heir, I never dreamed you would need reminded of the laws." Sesshomaru looked up to his mother once again. She looked absolutely furious now, the outer edges of her eyes faintly red with her anger. "or our history—do you not recall the cause of the Yume Clan Massacre, that which put the Tsuki clan into power? Or are you content to allow history to repeat itself, for the sake of your own selfish desires?" Rin cowered from the terrifying youkai woman, and Sesshomaru held her tighter to him to soothe her. The Yume, he remembered, were the former ruling clan of the former Nine Clans of Inuyoukai. They were in power for centuries untold—until the heiress took a human to mate and bore him a hanyou child. She'd chosen to present that child as her heir, intending to still take the throne. The other eight clans, led by the Dou and White-yama clans, had revolted, killing every member of the Yume clan. They ended with the execution of the ivy-marked princess, her human mate, and the child last of all… he shivered involuntarily at the thought. It had been an awful and bloody civil war that caused such a drop in the InuYoukai population that they were still recovering from it, a millennia later.

"that will not happen," Sesshomaru stated shortly, meeting his mother's eye. "no one will lay a finger on Rin. I would rather give up the throne than her."

"you cannot abandon your position as heir—"

"then what would you have me do?!" he demanded sharply. "betray my mate, as father did to you? Never. Rin is the only woman I have ever cared for, and the only who has ever cared this way for me. I will not leave her for the sake of having a child you may approve of." He had his arms wrapped protectively around Rin and they shifted slightly downward to protect her stomach more.

The Lady Mother snarled, her eyes growing slightly more red as she fought to control her fury. Since he had brought her deceased mate up, she would use him for an example. "you are already like your father too much! I chose to pardon him after his little mistake, believing he would see the error in his ways and fix it. Yet he did not. Remember what it cost him, Sesshomaru."

He narrowed his eyes at the low blow, but nodded sharply. "I will keep it in mind." He glanced to the human woman in his arms. "we are leaving, Rin." She nodded and he stepped away, going to the courtyard a short distance away so he could change once more. Rin immediately moved to follow him.

"you, Girl." Rin paused and turned back to look at the Lady Mother. She didn't seem so angry anymore, more sad and tired. "I have nothing against you personally. But the laws condemn you both, and the child you now carry. If you were not his mate I would solve the problem myself." Rin was surprised to see the dainty claws on the woman's hand glow faintly with the same acid-green light that Sesshomaru's did. The white-haired woman turned away with a faint growl. "it's not worth my life, Girl. Just go." Rin hurried away to see Sesshomaru waiting for her in his true form once more, laying down to give her easy access to his shoulders. Once she was settled he left quickly.

Rin started to tremble from the shocking turn of events she'd just endured, then started to sob into the soft fur under her as she laid in the dip between his shoulder blades once more. Hearing how upset she was, he decided they should find lodging in a village for the night, before continuing, rather than going straight home. They could get back by dawn if he kept going, but he wanted to comfort her, and be able to ask what was wrong. Besides that, he wanted to ensure she had food and water, now that he was aware of her condition. He could barely believe it—his mind went back to his vivid dream, over a year previously. He had made her pregnant by accident, then, and she wasn't his mate, but still he chose to care for her and take responsibility. He certainly was not going to step away now, no matter what anyone wanted. She was his mate, and this was his child, even if they couldn't be the heir, as their birthright should be. There were also plenty of questions he needed answered. He wasn't sure, however, who would be able to answer them…


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: chapter bomb part 2 of 3!

* * *

Sesshomaru was forced to camp with Rin that night, as she refused to climb down from his shoulders and he didn't think it safe to try and force her by shifting forms while she was still on him. She slept fitfully that night, twitching and whimpering as dreams came and went for her, muttering incoherently on occasion. He didn't sleep at all, too worried for his mate. When dawn came she finally woke and stretched, and he shook lightly. He'd been expecting to be able to stay at the palace for a day or two, and have a thorough, civil visit. But after how disastrously the first meeting had gone, he had no desire to return. Rin had already consumed the food and water he'd had her bring along for the journey and he had intended to resupply at the palace but hadn't been able to. She needed more, but he couldn't exactly walk into the village in this form and politely ask for it.

Sesshomaru tilted his massive head to look at his shoulder, where his beloved sat. he shrugged his shoulders deliberately and laid his head back on the ground to encourage her to get down. Finally, reluctantly, Rin did so, and he shifted quickly, taking her hand and leading her into the village gently, keeping her close to his side.

This village was often the closest to the InuYoukai palace, and thus was fairly used to seeing youkai in human form visiting the market. They got some more food for travelling and refilled her water carriers. Then Sesshomaru decided they should stop at the tea shop and enjoy a light meal and some tea before they went home. He was troubled that she hadn't said a word since they'd left his mother's domain…in fact, she hadn't spoken for longer than that. He sat opposite her at the low table and reached across to take her hand.

"please, my love, what is troubling you?" he asked softly, trying to meet her cinnamon eyes as she looked down and away, unwilling to meet his. She gave a soft sigh and met his eyes for a moment.

"nothing. I'm all right." It was obviously a lie, but all she was willing to give him in such a public place. He nodded slightly.

"I feel as if I have offended you, that you refuse to speak now."

"what?" she looked up at him again, shocked at his words for a moment. "no, no, you haven't, I promise. I just…I have a lot to think about, that's all." Well, that was certainly true for the both of them, wasn't it? Now that they knew she was pregnant, so much changed. Once the other clans learned of Rin and the half-breed pup she carried, he would have to be on constant guard. No doubt he would have to abandon the throne, at minimum, to appease the clans. He had to keep history from repeating itself. But even with all the stress he would have to go through to ensure Rin's safety, he couldn't see his actions as a mistake. He had finally made the choice that was right for him, regardless of the laws or what anyone else thought or wanted. He was happy, and she was happy, and that should have been all that mattered. But life for him was never so simple.

Once they had everything they went out of town once more and he turned to Rin, gently caressing her cheek and kissing her forehead. She looked up at him, her eyes watering a little, and he rubbed his thumb across her cheekbone comfortingly before stepping back to shift forms once again, so he could carry her back home at last.

It was after sundown when they finally made it back to the garden and Rin was asleep on his back once again, lulled to sleep by the constant rocking his running caused. He shrugged gently to wake her and settled to the ground again so she could climb down. "oh…are we home?" she asked in a drowsy voice, moving to slide off his shoulder. She slipped and fell on her rear end with a soft "ouch!" when she landed on a bit of hard ground. He was at her side instantly, picking her up to her feet again and holding her close, trembling a little from the speed of his transformation. After a moment or two more, he knocked her legs out from under her and scooped her up, carrying her inside, past jaken, who was in the hallway.

"good evening, Sesshomaru-sama! I hadn't expected you back for several more days!" jaken piped in a friendly tone. "is all well?"

"Everything is fine, Jaken. Leave us be." He carried Rin past the imp and up the stairs, and this time he noticed the slight shift in her scent.

"hmm," he muttered to himself, returning to his sweeping, "that almost smells like a mother's scent…" he kept sweeping for several more moments before his mind properly clicked into gear and he realized. He froze, his mouth falling open. "HUH!?" he looked up the stairs toward their room in shock. "surely not! Could it be?"

Sesshomaru set Rin down on their futon as gently as he could manage. He could feel her crying into his fur earlier in the day and she seemed to have started again as he carried her. Her face was stained red from her tears. He gently wiped them away and knelt in front of her, frowning slightly in concern for her. "my love…how are you?"

Rin would not meet his eye, and sniffled a little. "I-I'm fine, really. This is just… a bit overwhelming, that's all."

He nodded slightly, understandingly. If he felt overwhelmed, she must feel it even more. But she wasn't done. "what you said, before, I know you meant it, but you shouldn't have," she told him, finally meeting his golden eyes. "you can't give up the throne for me—you have a duty to fulfil!"

This time, Sesshomaru shook his white-haired head. "I could not leave you to produce an heir and take the throne, as my mother wishes. I would be no better than my father, to turn my back on my mate in such a way, and I vowed the day I learned of his mistake I would not follow his path any longer." He rubbed her cheek gently, wiping away new tears as they fell now and then. "Rin, no matter what, we simply cannot produce the heir my mother wishes of me, and nothing could change that, unless you were also a youkai."

It was Rin's turn to shake her head, frowning. "it isn't right! You can't just abandon your family for me—you can't walk away from what you have and start over again." She shifted into a ball, her knees up and her arms wrapped around them, everything protecting her lean stomach as if by instinct.

He shifted to sit beside her cross-legged and wrapped one long arm around her shoulders, sighing. "please, look at me." When she did, he said, "if my mother cannot support my decisions and try to work with me, rather than against me, then she is no proper family of mine. Family means love and support, and these things I get from you. I could not turn away to produce a youkai child, no matter how much anyone wishes it." He paused and clarified, "It's not that I do not want the throne, of course—if you were able to produce a youkai child to be my heir, I gladly would. But it is not my goal in life. Your happiness is."

Rin sighed heavily, looking away again, down at her stomach with a soft, worried frown. "I wish I could do that. But I am a human." She looked back up at him. "you know I love you, as you love me, but, I worry. Our child will be a hanyou, because of me, and you once hated them. When the time comes, will you be able to love our child just as much as me?"

Sesshomaru reached over with his free hand and took one of hers, squeezing it gently. "Rin," he spoke firmly, "when you became a hanyou months ago, I realized that the only thing that changed was your appearance and strength. Your smile, your soul, the things I really loved about you, didn't change at all. You're right, our child will be only half a youkai, but I will take them gladly as they come from you, the woman I love above all the world."

Rin sighed in relief at his declaration, more tears falling. He gently pulled her closer, shifting her into his lap and wrapping his arms around her with care, kissing the top of her head. He moved slightly side to side, rocking her gently to soothe her as her mind whirled. _It's still all because of me. My fault. He shouldn't have to choose between me and his duty…it isn't right…_ her mind also went back over the conversation, making parts she'd overlooked at first stand out now.

"what did you mean," she began in a quiet whisper, "'if I were able to produce a youkai child'?"

"merely wishful thinking, my love. An impossible dream." _And one I have had very often…_

Rin sighed softly, relaxing a little in his arms. So, it was nothing after all. But the thought would not leave her. She had been a hanyou not long ago. Surely there was some way to be a youkai, or at least to carry one. She would gladly endure a curse for him. She let go of her knees and let her legs stretch out a bit, taking one of his hands and kissing the palm. His other hand slid down a little until it rested lightly on the bottom of her stomach. Rin finally smiled just a little and laid her hand over his. She didn't feel any different quite yet, but she knew her blood had not come when it was due, and the InuYoukai noses could easily sniff out a thing like pregnancy. She blinked tiredly and yawned a little and felt him kiss her head again. "sleep, my love. There are other things I need to attend to." He laid her gently down and tucked her in, leaving his moko for comfort so he could go to his study. He wasn't sure what the future held at this point, and wasn't too eager to find out, but he knew Rin—and now, his child also—would be safe and protected, even if it meant his own life.


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: chapter bomb part 3 of 3!

Sorry for the wait guys! My birthday was awesome, though.

* * *

Rin woke with the dawn, careful to stifle her yawn. She noticed her bed was still empty and cold, meaning Sesshomaru had stayed up all night doing whatever-it-was in his study. He seemed to still be there, if the candlelight was anything to go by. Rin got carefully to her feet and tied her clothes for the day on, a plan in her head. She had to go find Jaken and ask him a few things…

Rin found the little imp in the kitchen, enjoying a bowl of breakfast before he had to begin his work for the day. He jumped up at the sight of her, bowing happily. "Rin-Sama! What can I do for you?" he asked her with a little smile. She returned his smile rather distractedly.

"I want to ask you a few things, Jaken," she told him, settling herself on a cushion, her smile fading to a concerned frown. "this may sound like a strange query, but, is it possible for a human to carry a youkai child?"

"well, of course it isn't, milady—a human can't conceive a youkai child, only a hanyou."

"I know that," she said patiently, "but I mean, is there a way to change the child, or the mother?" Rin's stomach growled and Jaken took the opportunity to get her food so he could hide his expression.

"well…I suppose something like that has happened, or at least I heard of something like that. The human was on the brink of death, and a spell changed her from human to hanyou. Somehow, I guess this made the humanity of the child disappear, because supposedly they were born as a full youkai." He brought Rin a large bowl of food and a set of chopsticks so she could eat and she dug in eagerly, surprised how much hungrier than usual she was.

"that…doesn't sound pleasant."

"I don't imagine it was, milady. But there would be a safer way, if the Shikon no Tama still existed. Unfortunately, since that miko had it years ago, it's been lost, perhaps destroyed. No one knows, not even her. All you would have to do is wish, then. But, as I said, it's long gone."

Rin nodded seriously, not bothering to correct him when he implied she was the one she was asking about. She didn't know if he knew she was pregnant, but he was sure to find out soon if he didn't know already. She kept munching her breakfast, glad he'd given her almost a double helping. She was starving.

"there must be some way, jaken. Perhaps the Lady Mother might know?" she suggested. He shrugged his tiny shoulders.

"she seems like a very knowledgeable woman, indeed, and the palace is sure to have a massive library. But she is unlikely to take unexpected visitors kindly, milady." He hummed thoughtfully. "she is rather like milord in that way, I suppose."

Rin finished her food and set the bowl aside with the chopsticks across the top. "she threatened me, Jaken. She said if I wasn't Sesshomaru's mate she'd have killed me where I stood, right then." She couldn't stop a slight shiver.

He nodded matter-of-factly. "as I said, she does not take unexpected visitors kindly. And I doubt she likes humans after what happened with milord's father, you know." Rin hummed thoughtfully and stood.

"thank you jaken. One last thing. You are to say nothing to milord about what you told me."

"what?" he balked. "but, Rin-sama, I can't do that!"

"you can, and you will, Jaken. That is an order. You mustn't tell him what we spoke of. I will talk to him myself."

"but I—" he sighed. "all right. But milord is not here. He left just before dawn."

Rin straightened a little more in surprise, turning back to the little imp. "what?! But I thought he was in his study, still, with his candles, doing paperwork…" she hurried off to the study, throwing open the door and finding a single candle lit and a note in flowing script on the desk. She picked it up with a worried frown. She read aloud, "my beloved, it is unlikely I will be able to return before you wake. Fear not. I have simply gone to ask my questions of someone wiser than I about such things. I shall return before the sun sets again." She sighed and flopped onto the cushion beside his desk. "Sesshomaru…"

* * *

Sesshomaru stopped by the well that sat out in the middle of the field near old Kaede's village, frowning. It took only seconds once he reached there for his brother to appear, hand on their father's sword and a suspicious frown on his features. "what do you want?" he barked sharply.

"I need information. You seemed the best place to start." That surprised the hanyou man, and he relaxed slightly.

"what do you want to know, big brother? I didn't think you thought I knew anything." The moon-marked man shut his eyes for a moment. This was going to be quite a blow to his ego, and he knew it. But he had to know.

"it's…Rin."

"what about her? Is she still a hanyou? Is that what this is about?" InuYasha was almost shocked when his brother shook his head. "she's not a hanyou anymore? I guess that's a good thing—"

"shut up. Rin is…she's…pregnant, InuYasha."

InuYasha's golden eyes widened in shock. "…oh. Uh, congrats, I assume? It's yours, huh?"

This time he nodded. "there are a few things I need to know. I know already she is going to have a hanyou child. But how is that going to affect Rin?"

"well, it's not like my mom told me anything about all that, y'know." InuYasha sat heavily on the side of the well with a sigh. "Kagome and Kaede did research on that kind of thing, though. Let's see…" he thought for a moment. "well, they get really hungry because they have to give extra energy to turn into youki. Like, sometimes an insane amount, depending on the youkai father. Sometimes later on they get weak, too, for the same reason. But they don't get sick, so that's good."

Sesshomaru sat down next to his brother, listening intently, worries at the front of his mind. "did you do any research on InuYoukai particularly?"

"yeah, of course. Tons."

"well?" he was getting impatient.

"I'm getting there." He cleared his throat. "I guess with InuYoukai, the…what's the word?...the time they carry the kid, is a little shorter, like 8 months instead of nine. And they get milk before they deliver, which is weird for humans."

"there is one thing I must know," Sesshomaru said, looking away. "will she deliver safely?" he knew InuYasha's mother, Izayoi, had died the day of his birth, and was revived by tenseiga. Had InuYasha been the cause of both his parents' deaths?

"yeah. Quicker and easier than a human birth, actually." He saw his older brother's shoulders slump slightly with relief and realized where the question must have come from. "it wasn't me who killed her, Sesshomaru," he growled.

"what was it, then?"

"you remember that bastard Takemaru we fought years ago, with the old man's sword?" Sesshomaru nodded. "he did it, and the old man brought her back. Too bad he wasn't around to save her later, when she got sick." His ears drooped. Close to two hundred years and he still missed his mom. He looked up as Sesshomaru stood. "are you really okay, big brother? You're okay with following our old man's footsteps and having a kid like me?"

Sesshomaru shot his little brother a glare and didn't bother replying, just walking away, leaving InuYasha even more confused than ever. He stared after him, concerned, not even knowing the scope of Sesshomaru's problems or worries, with the laws and the court…

It was late afternoon when he returned to his manor to find Rin munching on a fried fish. She put it down guiltily, knowing how much she'd already eaten, a bit embarrassed. At least she wasn't craving sweets or anything. Actually, she had a bit of an appetite for meat, but refused to indulge it. He settled beside her and pulled her over into his lap, wrapping her in his arms gently and nuzzling her, smelling her hair. "go ahead and eat, love. You need it."

She giggled at the feeling of his breath on her head, tilting her head back to look up at him. "so, where did you go?" she asked him, earning herself a kiss on the moon on her forehead.

"nowhere in particular." Rin knew he was lying but didn't much care. He was back and seemed a little happier. She went back to her fish, then paused. "have you eaten today, my love?" she asked him, moving to offer him the rest of her food or call for more.

"I'm fine. Eat." He tightened his arms slightly around the bottom of her ribs and she sighed, finishing the fried fish quickly and leaning back against him. Sesshomaru frowned as he scented her tears and heard her sniffle. "what's wrong, Rin?"

She suddenly shifted in his arms so she could bury her face in his chest, going from sniffling to sobbing almost instantly. He patted her back carefully, frowning worriedly, wide-eyed. Was this normal? He hadn't exactly ever been around pregnant women before, but surely if it was normal it was too soon? She just sobbed into his chest for a few moments before she managed to start speaking.

"when your mother said I was pregnant, I was overjoyed," she told him. "but then, I realized what a mess I'd made, and now all I feel is despair." She sobbed again and wailed, "I have ruined everything!"

Sesshomaru's golden eyes widened again with surprise. "no, Rin," he corrected her quickly, trying to comfort her. "you have ruined nothing, I swear."

"I did!" she shouted, striking the bottom of her fist against his shoulder in frustration. Why wasn't he listening to her? "if you hadn't found me that day and let me follow you, your life would be simple. Now you're going to lose everything because of me! It's all my fault!" she had her eyes closed and was surprised at gentle fingers under her chin. She looked up, opening her cinnamon eyes to meet his warm gold.

"my darling, none of this would have happened without my decisions. It was my choice to save you, and let you follow me. It was my choice to come back for you two years ago. It was my choice to make you my mate. And I do not regret a single choice that led to the moment I learned I was to be a father." He let go of her chin and gently let his hand drop until it reached her stomach, still flat for a while yet, where he knew by her warm scent his child was growing. She sat back a little, looking down and covering his large hand with both of her smaller ones, offering a faint, reluctant smile. She sniffled. What a thought, that in less than a year, she would be a mother. He shifted again and pulled her against him in a tight embrace, letting her rest her head on his shoulder, hugging him back.

"how about tomorrow we get up early and go shopping, just have a day to relax? Does that sound good?" Rin nodded to answer his questions, keeping him hugged tightly to her for a long time while he gently rubbed her back to comfort her.

The next morning, they took Ah-Un to a village much farther away from the manor, which was much larger and better suited for a full-day shopping trip. She chattered about the wares as she kept a tight hold on his hand, and Sesshomaru was relieved to hear her happy, carefree voice once again. She paused in the middle of a sentence and he looked at her in concern. "I have to…go…I'll be right back!" she squeaked, letting him go and hurrying to the tea house just down the street. He chuckled softly and watched her leave before turning his attention back to the wares he'd been examining.

Rin felt much better after a moment and started back toward her beloved when she was grabbed from behind, a hand over her mouth and a too-strong arm around her small body. She struggled briefly, shedding her outer jacket in the tussle until the arm wrapped around her throat, making her fall unconscious.

Rin stirred and blinked feebly, her head aching. She had no idea what had happened or where she was. "so, you're finally awake, Girl," commented a very familiar voice as Rin struggled to look up, her vision clearing…


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: Saturday teaser chapter!

* * *

Rin struggled upright and curled herself into a ball, glad to see she wasn't tied. She stared in terror at the small but intimidating figure before her. "where am I?" Rin demanded. "what's going on? What do you want with me!?"

"be quiet, Girl, or I shall gag you." The woman narrowed her golden eyes impatiently, looking over the girl with an intense stare, stopping for a moment on her stomach, concealed now by her legs. She blinked and looked back to Rin's eyes.

"why did you bring me here?" Rin asked in a calmer tone, frowning at the woman. "where is Sesshomaru?"

She sighed. "I have had you brought here to talk to you, that is all. I…may have misspoken when I implied I wished to kill you. I have never seen my son so happy as when he realized you carried his child." She frowned back at the girl as Rin shifted herself tighter in a ball, protecting her stomach. "there is, however, the small matter of him being the heir. In order for him to claim the throne from me, he must provide an heir to take his place. You, as a human, cannot provide that. The law condemns you and your half-breed pup, but no one can touch you as you bear the clan marking." She looked at Rin's forehead now, where the purple crescent moon adorned her brow the same as it did the Lady Mother's. Rin rested her chin on her knees.

"where is Sesshomaru?" she repeated impatiently.

* * *

It did not take longer than a moment for Sesshomaru to sense something wrong. He went to look for Rin when she took too long coming back and found her jacket discarded in the street. He grabbed it, catching the scent of the servant who'd kidnapped Rin. It was one of his mother's minions. He snarled angrily and quickly folded the jacket, putting it away in the bag he had, then jumped into the air, pursuing the fading scent right where he knew it would lead—to the palace.

A forward sentry spotted Sesshomaru flying straight for the palace and sent word ahead. A messenger ran in just as the Lady mother opened her mouth to answer her daughter-in-law's question. "milady! Your son is headed this way!"

She tsked. "that was fast. Impressive." She looked back at Rin and helped her to her feet. "I brought you here to talk to you, as I said. Now I don't have much time, it seems, so come with me and listen closely." She turned her back, trusting the girl to follow her. Rin didn't want to, but it was clear she had no choice, so she shuffled after the youkai woman. "I wish to know, how much do you love my son?"

That was a rather unexpected question, and Rin stopped walking momentarily in surprise, making the Lady Mother pause and turn back to her with a haughty frown. "I…I love him more than anything. Just as much as he does me, milady," Rin stuttered under the stern gaze. Her face softened and she continued walking.

"good. I have thought about his conviction, that he would refuse the throne and the power it entails, just for you and your half-breed pup. It shocks me, honestly. I have been searching for a solution, and I believe I have found one. But there is one more question I must ask—" she turned as they reached the library—"what would you give, for him to be happy?"

"anything. Everything," Rin responded without hesitation. The Lady Mother smiled, her eyes narrowing slightly. "good. Come this way, Girl." She stepped to a tall table with a few scrolls on it, and one in particular that was massive and ancient. "this scroll details how a human can be transformed into a demon. With this, you could bear him a proper heir, and he could take the throne. All would be well, and as a reward you would be with him forever."

Rin stared at the characters, so old she had no hope of reading them correctly. "what must I give?" she asked softly, knowing there must be a catch. No spell that powerful would leave her unharmed in some way. There was always a price to pay.

Again, just as the Lady Mother started to reply, a guard burst into the room. "Milady! Your son has arrived, and is demanding his mate." She scoffed again and ordered Rin to stay put, sweeping out of the library to confront her son, who was waiting in the throne room for her.

"Where is Rin?" he demanded in a strained voice, trying not to bare his fangs at his mother and cause more problems.

"hmm. Funny, she was just asking the same thing of you a few minutes ago. You really should keep better track of one another." She heard him grit his teeth in frustration. "she is safe. As I told you before, it's not worth my life to harm your darling mate." She was surprised that he didn't relax at her reassurance.

"what are you planning to do with her, Mother?" he asked, frowning, eyes narrowed in suspicion. Clearly the small white-haired woman was up to something. She giggled behind her sleeve.

"nothing bad, I promise. I will take you to her." He perked up immediately. "but first," she stated, "there is something you must see." His face fell in suspicion once again. "this way, my son. Decisions have been made, and you should see the consequences before actions are taken."

As she moved off, leading him into the depths of the palace he'd never had reason or desire to go to before, he became more worried. He only wanted to go to Rin, to assure himself she was safe and well, as was their child. "Mother, I only want Rin. What is this about? What are you planning?"

"why must you always suspect me?" she asked, seeming offended. He sighed. He sensed an impressive amount of demonic energy in the room they were about to enter. "what's in here?" he demanded, suspicious.

"the future, my son. You will see the consequences of minds already made up, and decide for yourself if you wish to allow or prevent that future from occurring." She slid the door open, revealing a large black portal that looked mesmerizingly like a portal formed by the meidou-seki. He could tell this portal did not go to hell, though. He was curious, but had no desire to actually enter the portal. He had no idea what he might face, and he had only bakusaiga at his side, which might not be enough, depending on what horrors he might find through the swirling black vapor. He didn't notice his mother transform behind him until he was picked up by the back of his fluff like a pup and tossed in forcibly.

He landed on a floor just as black as his surroundings. It was like being in a dream world. He got back to his feet, staring around for anything that might be familiar. He wanted Rin. Where was she? Surely the future would include his mate, no matter what.

After a few uncertain steps through the gloom, the only light apparently coming from his own body, there was at last a second source of light in the blackness. It was a person with long, smooth black hair to their waist, wearing a long jacket of deep green with sakura on it. It was, he realized with a shock, the same jacket Rin had been wearing that morning. He sniffed softly, his nose confirming. Rin had her back turned to him. Her scent was…odd…though. It was her soothing scent, yes, but it was mixed with fur, and dog, and youki. It was just how he had imagined her scent if she had been born a youkai as he was. He stepped forward uncertainly. "…Rin?"

The woman turned slowly to face him, and he finally saw Rin's face. It was changed, now. The moon on her forehead was joined by green ivy tendrils that looked like shepherd's crooks across her cheeks. Her eyes remained brown, but the pupils were thin, just like his. And around her small shoulders sat a thin band of deep black fur that went down her chest to her navel. His nose didn't lie, then. She had become an InuYoukai. She spread her arms wide in greeting. "well, my love? What do you think? Do you love it?"

He stepped nearer to her, letting her embrace him. "I do…" he breathed, hugging her. Once he was so near to her he took a deep breath of her scent. Finally, he noticed the first thing that was wrong. Rin's scent had changed in more ways than just human to youkai. The warm scent of pregnancy was missing. Sesshomaru's mother had not told him how far in the future this was—had she already had their child? Or…

"a good trade, isn't it? I can be with you forever now." She hugged him more tightly and he was worried by her words. Trade? What had she traded? "your scent has changed," he informed her, making her giggle softly at his ignorance.

"well of course it has, Sesshomaru. The spell was very powerful. The hanyou child didn't survive, if that's what you mean." She shrugged nonchalantly, not seeming the least bit upset about this. "ah, well. We can always make another, isn't that right?"

He leaned away from her kiss and let her go, holding her at arms' length. "is that what you traded, Rin? You gave up our child, just to become a youkai? Why?" she shook her head, seeming puzzled.

"no, no. I didn't give them up. They just didn't survive the spell. The price was my humanity—my soul." She reached to stroke the sharp pink stripes on his cheek. "as I said, a worthwhile trade to be able to spend eternity with my beloved."

He took a step back from her, horror at the situation blooming in his gut. "…no." he looked away from her, his teeth clenching. "NO! Rin, it is your soul I fell in love with! How could you dare to do this?!"

She almost seemed puzzled by his anguish. "it is still me. We can still be happy together. And the child was no big loss. We can always make another, when the season comes in the fall. A _proper_ heir." She tried to embrace him again. "I only wanted to make you happy—"

"you failed." He glared coldly at her, turning his back. He wanted out of this place. This future was awful, and he had to prevent it. The image of future Rin caught him by the arm, now easily strong enough to hold him back.

"you cannot leave. We are still mates."

"let me go. You are not the woman I fell in love with. This is a future I do not want." His gaze was flinty and his words sharp and cold as ice. He pulled his arm from her grip again and she narrowed her eyes.

"you say you do not want this. Do you wish me to remain human?" she demanded. "do you know what will happen? If things stay as they are in the present…I can show you."


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: I'm pretty behind this week, so this may be the only chapter you get this Sunday!

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Sesshomaru stood looking at the woman who held his arm in a clawed grip for several long moments. He nodded slowly. "show me. Show me what happens if I keep the woman I love."

Rin vanished in the blackness, then everything around him changed, again, just like a dream world, or a nightmare. It was very bright now- there were flames around him, and the palace was burning. There were shouts and the clash of weapons on the evening air, and he looked frantically for Rin.

Rin—his sweet, human Rin—knelt on the floor before him, 7 months pregnant, trembling in fear. He hurried to her side and pulled her to her feet, making sure she was all right. He could smell blood on the air and looked down at Rin's hands as she held a scrap of bloody, torn cloth. "your mother…" Rin stammered, crying. "she saved me…she's dead…"

At her words, Sesshomaru froze, shocked. No. his mother couldn't be dead! She couldn't! he looked to the scrap of cloth in her hands, taking it from her. It was clearly from his mother's outermost robe, and was stained with her blood. He sniffed, scenting fresh blood very nearby. "stay here, Rin," he told her, rushing into the next room, where the wall had collapsed. Mostly buried under the rubble lay his mother, face-down. She had several arrows in her back. Sesshomaru rushed to her, seeing she still breathed weakly. She stirred as he started shifting the rubble off her. "my…son?" she croaked, trying to look up at him.

"Mother, stay still. You're badly injured." He worked quickly to get the rubble and burning embers away from her ruined body. If he could just get her to a healer, she might still be all right.

"Is she…all right?" the Lady Mother choked out, looking up at him from the corner of her eye. "I…I should have…expected…an attack."

"Rin is fine. You are not. Please, save your energy, mother." He dug faster, desperate to free her as quickly as he could. He could tell the entire palace was burning down around them and he had to get out immediately. But he did not want to leave without his mother, the only blood relation he had left.

"Leave me. Save your mate. The packs are here." So that was it- this wasn't some freak accident, though he hadn't thought that to begin with. It was a coup, a massacre. This time, of the Tsuki clan. All because of him, and Rin, and the child she was near to birthing. "save her…" she whimpered softly, then sighed. "…too late."

His heart skipped a beat as he heard a cry of pain from the next room, where he'd told his beloved Rin to stay waiting for him. He could scent her blood on the air and looked frantically at his mother, then at the door, torn. "go!" she managed to bark, pushing at his ankle before her hand fell limp. That made his remaining choice clear. He ran into the room to see Rin kneeling once more, held up by her hair. An inuyoukai woman stood over her, a knife at her throat. The source of the scent of blood this time was the arrow wound in Rin's shoulder. It must have come in through a hole in the wall. Rin was whimpering, terrified, and the woman looked smug.

Sesshomaru growled lowly and reached to draw his sword. "hold it," the woman snarled, holding the knife a little tighter to Rin's neck and drawing a small bead of blood. "don't move." He growled louder but froze, ignoring the bright flames surrounding them on all sides as the palace continued to burn. He needed to get her out of here, and himself, before the entire structure collapsed on top of them.

"let her go. Now."

The woman—a member of the Dou clan, he knew, by her sandy-brown hair and thin straight lines like brown brushstrokes on her cheekbones—laughed at his command. "you have no authority, Sesshomaru," she informed him smugly. "you forfeited any right to command me the moment you took this human to bed." Rin whimpered again, pained by her bleeding arrow wound, terrified of the flames and the knife pressed at her soft throat. "let her go, you say? I don't think I will. I think I shall kill your precious mate and the bastard whelp she carries, and then I shall kill you. The Tsuki clan shall be no more, and this time the Dou shall take their rightful place as rulers, as we should have from the beginning!"

Sesshomaru moved desperately with blinding speed, using the distraction of part of the roof collapsing to his advantage. He cast his poison into the woman's eyes, blinding her and making her drop the knife and clutch at her face. He pulled Rin away from the woman and drew his sword at last, slashing mercilessly. Head and body hit the floor separately and Rin recoiled in horror at the sight. He turned to her, scooping her rounded body into his arms and jumping clear of the burning palace at last, just as it collapsed behind him.

He looked down, seeing the guards trying valiantly to fend off an army of the Dou and White-yama clans, the same that had caused the Yume massacre all those centuries ago. It was clear they were losing badly, but had bought him enough time to escape. He started to fly to safety only to feel the bite of arrows in his shoulders and back from archers he hadn't spotted before. He managed to get away, now bleeding for himself and in intense pain. He carefully removed the arrow from Rin's shoulder and tore his sleeve to bandage her, ignoring his own wounds. This would have to do until they found safety, and a healer.

As he bandaged the wound, Rin started to whimper again in pain and pant. She grabbed his arm and squeezed tight, her other hand going to her massive belly. "…it hurts!" she managed to bite out, and in a panic he scooped her up and flew again, ignoring his pain and exhaustion for her sake. This couldn't be happening! He could not lose his pup along with his mother in a single day. He knew they were too early. Suddenly the world faded back into blackness around him and he fell to his knees in anguish—that was suddenly gone as the blackness gave way to a room in the palace once more.

Sesshomaru's mother stood before him, her face impassive and unreadable even by him. "you have seen all there is to see, my son. It is time to make your own choice."

He stared around him, terrified the awful visions would return for several moments. He finally struggled back to his feet, shaken. "I…I do not know what to choose…" he admitted in a soft voice. Both of his apparent options were terrible. Either he allowed Rin to give up her soul, the thing he loved most, to become a youkai so he could take the throne, or he lost everything in a coup if she remained human to save their child. Both choices were abhorrent.

His mother was glaring at him when he looked slightly down at her. "I saw all that you did while inside that vision, Sesshomaru." She suddenly shifted and slapped him hard enough to make him step back a half pace, leaving bloody furrows from her claws on his cheek. "how dare you! How dare you even consider endangering everyone for the sake of your human and her half-breed pup!" she spat, more angry than he had seen her in centuries. "your foolish choice would cause the death of dozens of your fellows…even me."

Sesshomaru stayed silent, not moving, though he could feel the blood trickling slightly down his face from the scratches that were taking their time healing. She seemed somehow to get angrier when she couldn't get a rise out of him. "have you nothing to say for yourself?" she demanded, hauling her arm back to strike him again. This time he caught her wrist, holding it away from his face.

"mother. It was your choice that caused your demise in that future. And it is my choice to defend myself, or not." The Lady Mother's eyes widened in surprise as she seemed to finally register that she had struck him. She looked remorseful for her actions. Sesshomaru released her a little roughly and stepped back. "Rin and I shall talk. You will stay out of it." With that, he swept from the room, intent on finding his beloved.

The Lady Mother stared after her only son, then looked down for a moment at her claws, and back up again. "my son…"


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: Saturday teaser chapter!

Fair warning, I will be at a convention next Saturday, and the following weekend I'll be travelling. Depending on how my schedule looks over the next week, I may have a week's hiatus for the story. Don't worry, I'll be back, but I would rather be a little late to maintain the quality of my work than try to squeeze something out on time that isn't nearly as good as normal.

* * *

Rin was staring intently at the scroll she'd been left with in the library. Beside her was an inuyoukai woman, from the Mori clan, who was centuries older than Rin and thus able to read the markings on the scroll that were so old they barely qualified as kanji. Rin nodded as the woman explained the different spells on the scroll with their costs and effects.

"Rin."

Her head popped up at the voice of her beloved and she rushed to him, forgetting the ancient scroll completely. She hurried into his embrace, her face drawn in concern. "ah, what happened to your face?" she asked in worry, pulling her sleeve up to try and wipe at the swiftly scabbing scratches on his cheek.

He gently pushed her hand away, embracing her and breathing in her warm, human scent to calm him after the ordeal he'd just been through. She was safe and whole, and neither of the awful futures had happened yet. He could prevent them—there was still time. "that doesn't matter. Rin, we need to talk."

"talk? About what?" all she wanted to talk about was what had happened to his face and why he'd allowed someone to injure him, even slightly.

The Mori clan woman who had been sitting with Rin cleared her throat and got to her feet. "I need to speak with you both as well, My lord."

He shot the woman an annoyed glance, only just realizing she was there because of his relief at finding Rin unharmed. He did not wish to be interrupted. This was going to be an important conversation. "not now," he told her shortly. "after this."

The woman bowed and settled back at the table with the ancient scroll. "as you will, My Lord." She seemed to be ignoring them now.

Sesshomaru returned his attention to his mate, who still looked worried about him. Her hands were curled gently on his chest as he held her close to him. She tried to reach for his injured cheek again. "we need to clean your face. It's all bloody…" he caught her gentle hand and shook his head softly.

"that is not important right now." He held her hand, his other hand on the bow on the back of her kimono as he held her small body close to him. He looked into her beautiful cinnamon eyes, full of worry for him. "Rin, I have been shown the future. If you do become a youkai, as my mother wishes, our child will not survive." Rin's face showed her horror at those words, and she shifted her free hand to her stomach in worry, covered by her layers and wide obi. "not only that, but the sacrifice required of you to put the spell in motion is too much."

Rin frowned deeper. "what is it? Your mother didn't say, before you arrived." She knew it must be something awful, but had no idea what.

"it is your soul you gave up for the chance to make me happy. You thought, I suppose, that I would be happier if I were able to take the throne, as my mother wishes me to. As I was born to do. But it won't, Rin. I told you already," he gently took her chin in his hand, making sure she was looking him in the eye to see his total sincerity, "it is your soul I love. For you to give it away for any reason pains me beyond words. I would rather give up everything in exchange for your soul, than have you give it up for anything, no matter how important or precious."

Rin felt him shiver slightly as he remembered how she had behaved as a youkai. "you were awful, Rin. You had no remorse that the spell had killed our child. You were dark and cold, worse than I had been when we first met years ago." Rin shivered too, picturing how bad she must have been to scare her Sesshomaru, of all people.

"then I must stay human?" she asked timidly. Surprisingly to her, he shook his head.

"that may not be possible either. It certainly will not be safe. Once the clans get wind of your pregnancy, we will be under attack. I saw that too." He sighed, remembering his mother's body in the burning palace. Rin shifted a little closer to him, seeing the pain in his eyes as he looked away from her. "there were many deaths. The vision did not remain long enough for me to see if our child survived, but you did start to whelp early, which is never good for mother or pup."

Rin sighed softly, resting her head against her beloved's chest. "but what other choice is there? If I cannot stay human for the wrath of the clans, but I cannot become a youkai for the sake of my own soul?" she felt him lightly rest his chin on the top of her head, holding her close to him for comfort.

"I do not know…perhaps…" he paused, gathering his thoughts. "listen. I want us to remain as one, forever. I want the child you carry—our child. Maybe…maybe three-quarters youkai would be more acceptable than half…"

It took several moments for the meaning behind his statement to sink in for Rin. When it did, she pulled back a bit from him, looking up and shaking her head frantically. "oh, please, no! I couldn't go through that again! Being a hanyou was terrible."

"Rin, if you think being a hanyou is bad, then being a youkai would be worse." She shook her head again, more gently. "that's the choice you must make."

"I know." She sighed and laid her head on his chest once more. "so I can't remain a human, but I can't become a youkai, for the baby…and I don't want to be a hanyou again…"

The woman had been listening to their conversation the entire time, eavesdropping. She cleared her throat pointedly as they both fell silent. Sesshomaru's head snapped up and he glared at the brown-haired woman. "what."

"if I may interrupt…" she rose gracefully to her feet and stepped over to them, clutching the ancient scroll in her delicate hands. "your mother is not skilled at choosing spells, my lord."

"what do you mean?" Sesshomaru regarded the scroll, able to read it also, though it was difficult. He hadn't exactly spent much effort on learning such old writings when he was intent on gaining power and surpassing his father.

"there is a spell I believe would be ideal to settle your dilemma. See, here." She pointed to the scroll, showing him the details. "it does not require her soul, and the change is gradual rather than instant, allowing the pup to change along with her. It will still require a soul, though. You shall have to find me one."

"is there a requirement as to what kind?" he reviewed the characters on the page, frowning intently.

"human. The more wicked, the better. Find one and bring them here, alive. I shall need to harvest the soul myself to weave the spell. Go now. I shall see to it that your mate is cared for." She turned and bowed slightly to Rin, who said the first thing on her mind: "I'm hungry."

It took two days of intent searching to locate a group of bandits in a nearby area. The first place to search for wicked men was among other wicked men, Sesshomaru thought as he lay in wait for the group to near a village. He wanted to be sure he got the worst of the group, to be the strongest for the spell. For good measure, he would kill the remainder of the band so they would stop troubling the countryside. The leader, he was glad to see, was obvious, as he was the only one on horseback. They passed his watching place and he quickly moved to get in front of them, stopping their progress under the first quarter moon.

"what is that?" blurted the man on horseback as his men shied back from Sesshomaru. "it's a youkai, sir!" blurted one of the forward men, cowering. "well, then, kill it! Prove you are men!" he commanded.

Sesshomaru did not bother to draw his sword, just sliced through the first few men who tried to charge him with his whip, making the rest cower once more. He locked eyes with the man on horseback as he goaded the animal to charge the white-haired man. He simply held out his hand as the human charged him, sword drawn, snarling. He avoided the clumsy blade and knocked the man off the horse by his neck, slamming him to the ground and knocking him unconscious. The remaining few men tried to flee the youkai, but his whip made short work of them. He regarded the horse. Deciding he wasn't hungry enough, he left it to go free, tossing the unconscious man over his shoulder and taking the short way back to the palace at last.

Rin was waiting for him early the next morning when he finally returned with his prize. He was glad to see she was clean, well-dressed and healthy, even more than he had left her. Someone had put up her hair in a fancy braided mum on the side of her head where she once tied up her bangs as a child. She was also wearing more of his mother's old courtly garments, and she had color in her cheeks, making him think of how women would say that pregnant women 'glowed' with extra life. Her whole face lit up with joy to see him, and he offered a small smile. "where is the magic-maker?" he asked her.

"I'll get her!" Rin turned to hurry off, then paused with one foot up. "oh, after, will you join us for breakfast?"

"of course, dear." She grinned and continued. The Mori clan woman came along, brow furrowed. "yes, this one should do nicely. I'm surprised you managed to get him so unharmed. That will help." She took the limp body from Sesshomaru and carried him off. "I shall explain the particulars at breakfast, milord. You have time to bathe if you wish."

They met around the breakfast table and Rin certainly did not stand on ceremony. Sesshomaru was surprised to see the amount of meat on her plate, raising an eyebrow at it. It was nearly identical to his own plate, except he could tell it was just human food. She had always seemed to dislike eating meat, but she was stuffing it in her mouth as fast as she could chew it now. Perhaps it was another side effect of the pregnancy?

The woman cleared her throat and he turned his attention to her. "now then, the spell is not terribly complicated. I need simply the soul as an exchange, and a willing recipient, and I have both. What troubles me is that setting the spell is excruciatingly painful. In order for milady, and especially the pup, to survive the procedure, you will have to take some of that pain upon yourself, milord."

He nodded without hesitation. "I will gladly take it, if it will help."

"It will be required of you." The woman finished eating, then rose. "I shall go and prepare. Meet me in one hour, in the room just above the dungeons."


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: really, really hoping I get this done by the time it's supposed to be uploaded… EDIT: ha! I did it! barely!

This is the only Sunday chapter this week!

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When the allotted hour was up, Sesshomaru and Rin both descended to the half-level just above the dungeons of the palace. The room was isolated and quiet, and Rin shivered slightly at the seeming feeling of a graveyard she got. He took her hand gently to comfort her, opening the sliding door with his free hand.

The woman had the handle of a knife with no blade, seemingly carved from human bone, and some interesting markings on her face, with the scroll weighted with stones in front of her. There was a futon laid out in the middle of the somewhat small room, and on the other side, the man was tied securely. He was awake, now, and seemed somewhere between terrified and furious. The Mori woman smiled warmly at Rin and motioned the woman to sit down on the futon. Rin did so rather nervously, scooting back against the wall and curling up.

"don't be afraid, milady. Though it will hurt, it will be over soon, I promise." She helped Rin relax and settle flat on her back on the soft futon, patting her arm reassuringly. "now then," she looked up at Sesshomaru, "get out."

A pair of guards seemed to appear from nowhere and took one arm each to escort Sesshomaru out. He quickly pulled his arms free, snarling softly. "I can see myself out, thank you." They followed him out and shut the door, blocking it from him. "no matter what you hear, you are not to enter until the woman says it is safe," the guard informed him. He nodded grimly.

Sesshomaru had to fight the instinct to make sure Rin was safe as the woman started to chant strangely behind the closed door. He could hear Rin whimper nervously, as she was able to see things he could not. The chanting continued for several long minutes, then he heard the man he'd captured start whimpering around the gag they'd tied on him. With a sharp exclamation that sounded like nonsense, there was a sharp, wet slash and an awful gurgling sound.

Sesshomaru started pacing back and forth, the guards watching him nervously as the spell progressed. The scent of the man's blood was thick on the air and actually made him slightly hungry from his nervousness. The woman continued to chant more fervently, and there seemed to be a source of white-blue light behind the door screen. Rin whimpered nervously again, fighting the urge to curl in on herself.

The chanting grew suddenly loud as the source of light concentrated into a knife blade in the woman's hand, casting the shadows of both her and Rin on the door. With a sharp exclamation, she plunged the shining blade into Rin's chest.

Sesshomaru barely registered his mate's piercing scream of agony. Every fiber of his body seemed to be on fire, and the two guards caught him to stop him from collapsing to the floor in anguish. He gripped his clothes and clenched his teeth to keep from scratching himself or biting his tongue. He couldn't tell if his ears were ringing from the pain or if it was Rin's screaming he could hear. The pain remained over a minute, then faded slowly, leaving him panting and sweating, hanging loosely from the arms of the concerned guards.

A few moments later, when he managed to regain his feet, the door to the room slid open, and the Mori clan woman poked her head out. The markings she'd painted on herself were all gone, and the knife handle in her hand once again had no blade. She was sweating and panting slightly as well, as clearly the spell was taxing for all involved. "you may enter, Milord. It is done."

He stepped forward shakily, partly nervous and partly from how drained he was from the pain. He slid the door farther open, seeing Rin laying still, her bangs sticky with sweat. She was clearly unconscious, and the woman had rearranged her from where she had landed with her thrashing, making her look peacefully sleeping. He spared a glance to the other side of the room, where he was shocked to find nothing but a mummified skeleton-like corpse. All the blood, energy, and the soul of the man had been consumed to fuel the spell. He turned back to his beloved, kneeling down beside her. He noticed, now, the faintest scent of youki, demonic energy, coming from her. He gently smoothed her wet hair from her forehead, exposing the moon he'd placed there.

"milord, I must explain a few things to you now." The woman knelt opposite him beside the prone woman. "the spell is active. She will change gradually, a bit each day. As her youki builds, it will likely trigger instincts she never had as a human. They will be intense, and may overpower her until she is farther progressed and able to control them. You will have to protect her from herself, Milord."

He nodded solemnly in understanding, bending to gently kiss her forehead, concern clear in his eyes. "I can do that easily."

"good." Rin twitched slightly and she sighed. "for the time being, the pup may still be in danger, Sesshomaru-sama. She needs to remain in bed for the next 3 days, to minimize the chances of miscarriage. She should only get up to relieve herself, not for anything else. See to it that she is fed and cared for in bed."

He nodded once more, rubbing his thumb across Rin's cheek as she stirred more, finally blinking awake. She smiled weakly as his face was the first thing she saw. "…did it work, my love?"

He offered a tiny smile and a very small nod. "yes, it seems so. But you must stay in bed for a few days, to be sure you and the baby are safe."

Her brows furrowed in confusion. "you mean…I could still lose them?" she asked timidly, her eyes starting to water in worry.

"you must rest, Rin, and everything will be well, I swear it." She relaxed at his reassurance, settling back into the futon with a soft sigh.

The woman rose to her feet and bowed at the waist. "Sesshomaru-sama…Rin-Sama. I shall bring food for you." She moved to leave them alone for a while.

"Thank you, for everything."

She turned back at his words with a tiny smile. "shall I inform your mother of our success?"

He nodded and she left. He turned back to Rin as she tugged lightly at his sleeve. "can…can I at least sit up a little? I could lean on you…"

"just be careful, all right?" he shifted so he was sitting behind her, and helped her sit upright, gently pulling her lightly into his lap so she could lean back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her small frame and held her gently to him, tilting his head to kiss her cheek lightly. He enjoyed the seeming note of spice that was added to her scent by the youki. This suited her far better than the foul sour odor she'd once had when she was forced to go berserk as a hanyou. He took in a deep whiff and smiled a little wider. Rin's sweet scent, warm with pregnancy and spicy with her slowly shifting blood, seemed to calm and reassure him more than ever.

The woman returned with a tray piled high with food and tea, and Rin eyed it distastefully. "that's an awful lot of meat…where's the noodles? The vegetables?" they'd been feeding her fairly rare red meat since she'd arrived a couple of days ago, but they'd always made sure she got human food, and a balanced meal each time she ate. This was nothing more than a plate of meat, and it looked even more rare than usual. It didn't look edible, let alone appetizing, to Rin, but her stomach rumbled all the same.

"meat is good for you, Rin…sama. It can repair your body and give you good energy. And it's certainly very good for the pup." The woman nudged the plate a little closer to Rin after laying the tray in her lap, offering her chopsticks. Rin sighed and picked them up, taking a piece of meat and starting to chew it, then spitting it out in disgust. "eugh! It's barely cooked!"

"it wouldn't hurt anything to cook it more, would it?" Sesshomaru asked, noting the pieces of beef seemed to be barely more than raw. He preferred his own meat cooked no further than that, but knew Rin hardly ate meat to begin with, and when she did it was practically indistinguishable from old leather, to his disgust. The woman didn't answer him, just smiled slightly as Rin took another piece of the meat and started to chew it, no longer complaining. "instincts," she told Sesshomaru as Rin started to stuff her mouth with the meat as quickly as she could chew it, apparently ignoring how raw it was now. She only stopped when her own plate was empty and she grabbed a piece of his, only to find it was colored with flavouring and was actually raw.

Sesshomaru snuggled Rin close to him as he finished his own food, keeping the teapot and cups as the woman took the dishes away. She relaxed against him, blinking sleepily. After the woman left the room, there was a small knock at the door, and Sesshomaru raised one silver brow. "who is it?"

The door slid slightly open and the Lady Mother peeked in, a tiny frown on her delicate face. "May I enter, my son?"

Sesshomaru frowned. His mother was a cause of much of the mess he'd been through the last three days, and he was still cross at her for kidnapping his mate in the first place. Finally, he nodded, curious as to her visit.

The white-haired woman swept gracefully into the small room and knelt with a flourish before the two of them. Then, after a moment's hesitation, she kowtowed, her forehead touching the floor between her hands. "why are you bowing to me, mother?" he asked in a deadpan voice, making his face a carefully neutral mask.

"I wish to apologize, my son, for everything I have done." She spoke to the floor, not looking up. Rin stared at the woman in disbelief. Sesshomaru's mother was almost a force of nature to Rin, and she never thought she'd see the woman bow to anyone. The blow to her pride should have killed her.

"sit up." She did as she was told, looking her son in the eye to prove her sincerity. "my servant came and told me the spell was a success. I can smell the youki for myself now." She took a few more delicate sniffs in Rin's direction and the girl shrank back into Sesshomaru's chest self-consciously, thinking perhaps she stunk. He held her hand, squeezing her fingers gently in reassurance.

The Lady Mother sighed in slight annoyance, looking away for a moment. "two weeks at least until I can announce the two of you," she mused. "yet here you must stay, under my roof, for 3 days, basically a secret." She met Rin's eye at the last sentence, and Rin suddenly took the look as a challenge, bristling up and leaning forward suddenly.

"we can go home!" Rin spat, then felt a gentle arm restraining her. "Rin," Sesshomaru said gently, "lay back down." She relaxed again at his words and leaned back against him. The Lady Mother watched this behaviour curiously. "We will be leaving tonight, Mother."

She nodded and stood. "as you will, my son. I will expect you once the transformation is complete."


	30. Chapter 30

A/N: and the hiatus is officially over! Expect at least one chapter per week from me from here on out!

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They made it home without incident, and Sesshomaru carried Rin into their bedroom, laying her gently down on their futon and tucking her under the quilt. She gave him a grumpy look—just because she'd been ordered to stay in bed didn't mean she had to like it. Rin, however, was out quickly. Sesshomaru gave a deep sigh, shutting the door behind him and going to his study. This was going to be a long two weeks, he thought rather bitterly. It was especially going to be a long couple of days. Rin could hardly stay still for anything on a _good_ day, so he hoped he wouldn't have to resort to tying her down. Sesshomaru eyed the stack of treaties on his desk in his study. It seemed he had been away too long.

He had hardly settled down to write a reply to the first scroll on the list when he heard shuffling from next door. Sesshomaru let out a sigh. It had already begun, it seemed. He set down his brush and got to his feet, stopping Rin as she tried to sneak out of their room to go downstairs. "Rin," he said in a soft warning tone, "remember what the woman said."

Rin let out a mournful groan. "Sesshomaru…I will be fine," she told him, giving him a begging look. She couldn't stand staying in one spot with nothing to do! It would drive her completely mad, he had to know that.

He frowned, blocking the doorway and looking down at his slight, small-framed young mate. "I just want you to be well," he said in a gentler tone, trying to make her understand he only had her best interests in mind.

She sighed, looking down for a moment, then back up again. "I know you do," she sighed. "but you're smothering me. You make me feel helpless." She wanted him to know she didn't resent him, and she understood how worried he was—after all, she was worried too. She knew there was so much that could still go terribly wrong. She reached out for him and he hesitated, making sure she wasn't trying to fool him and escape. Then he embraced her gently for a few moments.

"I will try to give you some more space, Rin. But please, obey the magic-maker's words. You must stay in bed and rest, at least for the next few days. It's for your own good…and the pup's."

Rin nodded, then lightly hit her head against his chest with a grumble. "come on," she murmured. "can't you just let me rest out in the garden or something?"

"No. Rin, just rest here in bed…"

"I will if you stay with me," she told him, suddenly clinging surprisingly tightly to him. "you flew all day to get us home—you should be the one who's tired, not me."

Sesshomaru had to admit Rin had a point, and he wasn't looking forward to those treaties anyway. While they were said to be 'urgent' by the ones who'd sent them, he doubted very much that was actually the case. He wasn't really the least bit tired, but if it got Rin to settle and rest, then he supposed he could spend an hour or two getting her to sleep.

"all right," he said softly, then shifted before she could react, scooping her into his arms so she couldn't escape. He laid her gently in the futon just as he had not long ago, but this time he removed his armor, setting it aside, and settled next to her, letting her curl up and snuggle into his fluff as he tucked her in again.

He heard her sigh after a moment and looked down to find her eyes still open. "I'm not tired," she complained, stifling a small yawn. He smirked a little at her seemingly obvious lie.

"of course you aren't, my dear."

"I'm not," she insisted, yawning wider. "I'm just exhausted." He moved his arm and gently stroked her head, smoothing her hair.

"just close your eyes, and it will be morning before you know it." Rin obeyed, slowly closing her cinnamon-brown eyes, and was asleep within moments. Sesshomaru debated getting up again, just leaving his mokomoko behind for her, but decided against it. Even if he didn't feel tired, he hadn't rested in nearly four days, and now he had the perfect excuse. He sighed softly one more time, gently placing a kiss on the moon on her forehead, then closing his own eyes, allowing himself to relax.

He was surprised to be woken after just a few hours—it was still the middle of the night. He wasn't quite sure what had woken him for a few seconds, then heard it. "uuuggghh…" he looked to Rin, who was still wrapped in his arms and looked faintly green in the face. He quickly let her go and was surprised as she jumped to her feet and ran to the window, opening it and leaning out, panting and groaning in the cool night air.

He was on his own feet and beside her within a heartbeat, gently pulling her back from leaning out the window. "Rin! Are you all right?" he asked, his golden eyes flashing all over the details of her face and down her body, looking for any abnormalities. She swallowed thickly and nodded rather reluctantly. It took him a few seconds to realize her face really _was_ green. Her cheeks were just barely starting to tint with the beginning of what would become markings, much like his own.

She moved to lean out the window again, her forearms resting on the sill, and he quickly left the room, returning with a fairly large bucket. He was very concerned for her, not knowing why she was nauseated, but able to tell that was the case. She took it and sat down, putting the bucket on the floor between her crossed legs and clutching it tightly. Noticing his agitation, she managed to murmur, "it's okay, Sesshomaru. This is normal for humans carrying a child. I saw it a bunch of times. Nothing's wrong." He frowned, finally sitting down across from her, deciding he would not move until she felt better and he could safely put her back to bed.

She seemed to start showing signs of recovery after a while, and he opened his mouth, asking, "feeling better?" into the predawn silence. Rin opened her own mouth to reply, then her whole face went surprisingly pale and she managed to squeak out a quick "no!" before hiding her face in the bucket for a few moments. He sighed, making a face at the sudden stench while she couldn't see him. Even if she smelled wonderful and soothing to him, she couldn't help being smelly sometimes, as humans naturally were. He winced slightly at the retching, glad that it was over quickly. Rin set the bucket aside with disgust, feeling quite a bit better now. That really had been too much meat earlier, she thought.

Once he was sure she wouldn't need it anymore, Sesshomaru carefully took the bucket from Rin and left for a few moments to empty it, covering his nose once he was out of the room, not wanting to upset her. This was certainly something he hoped he wouldn't have to get used to. By the time he returned with a clean bucket (just in case), she was blinking and staring around the room in wonderment. This puzzled Sesshomaru, since he didn't think she could actually see in such low light. Humans were almost completely blind once the sun went down, weren't they?

She turned toward him when she finally heard his footsteps, looking up with a small smile. Seeing her eyes, he finally understood—for her pupils were thin, just like his were, and every other InuYoukai. "you look heavenly…" she told him in a soft voice, her smile growing slightly. To her, he seemed to glow in the darkness, the white of his clothing and hair nearly shining. He gave her a slightly confused look and reached down to scoop her up. "your eyes are already starting to adapt. Everything will be brighter and clearer from now on." She hummed softly and nuzzled him. He sighed. "if you're feeling better, then go back to sleep. You don't need to be up if the sun isn't." he laid her back in the bed, this time just leaving his fur behind, letting her cuddle it and going to finally do that wretched paperwork. He would leave the door to his room ajar, and be back before she woke so they could eat breakfast together. He stroked her raven hair for a few moments before finally standing. There was one treaty in particular from the Dou clan he was rather concerned about…


	31. Chapter 31

A/N: hopefully I'll get this done to put up by Sunday! This will be the only Sunday chapter this week.

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By sunrise, Sesshomaru was completely fed up with the unreasonable demands of one of the treaties he'd been trying to write a civil response to. There were several sheets of shredded paper from his repeated attempts to be polite—rather, his repeated failures to be polite. He growled in frustration as he read over his latest attempt before shredding it as well, and standing. It was dawn, and he knew Rin would be stirring any minute now, as her breathing pattern had shifted as she started to wake. He went back into his room and settled himself beside her, hoping perhaps she would think he'd passed the night beside her.

Rin blinked slowly awake as the sun finally made its way into the sky. She blinked some more in discomfort at how bright it was to her now. Her new eyes would take some getting used to. She sat slowly upright and stretched a little, looking over beside her to find Sesshomaru stirring. She smiled softly. "did you sleep well, my love?" she asked him gently, watching his golden eyes open as he pretended to wake.

He nodded, sitting up and stretching for himself. "are you hungry? Want anything specific for breakfast?" Rin shook her head and got up, grabbing a couple of layers, intending to get dressed and go to breakfast like normal. A gentle, warm hand stopped her as she started to slide on the first of the layers. "you can't leave the room yet. Give it at least another day, Rin."

"but—" she sighed, looking down. He helped her finish putting on the layer she'd started to add, tying on a thin but decorative obi in as nice a bow as he knew how, centering it on her back for her. If she wanted to look nice, he wasn't going to deny her. But she wasn't leaving this room, for her own safety. She smoothed the front of the obi and smiled at the colors. She turned to him as he put a couple fingers under her chin to tilt her face up. He smiled softly as her cheeks were noticeably more green now, the marks beginning to come in. it would take several more days before they finalized into their proper shapes. She couldn't help but smile back at his happy expression, stealing a kiss while she could. She squeaked when he scooped her up once again and laid her back in bed, kissing her forehead. "behave yourself. I'll fetch breakfast for us both."

She sat up and gave him a grumpy, rebellious look as he went to fetch them a morning meal. She was delighted when he returned within moments with a tray loaded with two bowls of rice and beans and a platter of medium-rare meat to share. Rin went straight for the rice and beans, grabbing the bigger of the two helpings and her chopsticks, digging in. she finished eating before Sesshomaru was even halfway through with his own bowl. He blinked at her as she went for the plate of meat as if she hadn't just eaten all that food. If he hadn't already spoken to InuYasha and others at the palace he wouldn't have believed Rin could possibly eat so much.

Once she was through with the plate of meat, not even leaving the slightest morsel for him, she sat back, rubbing one eye and shaking her head slightly in surprise. He glanced over at her, noticing her pupils widen from near slits. "that was strange," she noted softly, blinking a few times and looking at him.

"what was?" he asked, wanting to make sure of what he saw.

"I-I don't know…all I could think about was hunting and eating…" she shivered slightly. "I really wanted blood there for a moment…" she added with a slight note of alarm. Sesshomaru frowned softly at her words, his concerns confirmed. Her instincts were beginning to come out, and she was nowhere near mentally strong enough to handle them. In fact, she really had no idea, yet, what was even going on. He hesitated for a second.

"things will be like that for a while, Rin." His frown remained at her momentary look of fright at that news.

"a while?!" she squeaked in panic. "that's awful! What if it happens again around people? I wanted to hunt, Sesshomaru—I could hurt someone!" she couldn't help but picture poor Jaken running desperately from her long, terrible claws—once she grew them, that is. She looked down at her fingernails, wondering when that was going to happen. She could feel something different than yesterday, already, but nothing too different. Two weeks was all it would take to make her an InuYoukai just like her beloved and his family. It was all so odd to her.

"that's why I'm not going to leave you alone," he told her gently, taking her hand to get her attention. "the magic-maker said you will be experiencing instinct changes, and that they will be too powerful for you to control at first. So, until you can govern your own urges, I will ensure you are protected from yourself." He squeezed her hand lightly. "Rin, you are a good woman. But these instincts, and urges, they are powerful things. You aren't in your right mind when they take over, and you won't be able to control them until the transformation is completed."

She sighed softly, deciding to push the whole matter out of mind for now. It would do her no good to dwell on something she obviously couldn't control. "hmm…am I allowed to have a bath?"

The change of subject startled a soft chuckle from him. "of course you are, my dear."

"…at the hot springs?" that would get her out of the house and grounds, though of course their own bath house was perfectly adequate. He immediately shook his head, seeing through her ruse. "but there's a spring that's warm instead of hot—I know you're not supposed to go in hot springs once you're pregnant, I'm not stupid—" but he shook his head more firmly.

"Rin, you must stay as still as possible. Remember why you're doing this." He deliberately moved one of her hands down to her stomach and she looked down, sighing. Of course he was right. It didn't matter what she wanted right now, even if she was bored of staying in one spot. She was doing this for the pup, and she had to keep that in mind. "how about this—if you are good about staying in bed as long as you need to, then once your restriction is over we'll plan a trip to the warm spring?" he suggested warmly. "I can pack a lunch and spare clothes and we'll both enjoy it." Rin brightened considerably at his suggestion and hugged him tightly, surprising him a little. "for now, though, rest, my dear. I can get you some scrolls to read if you'd like."

She nodded and as he moved to stand once more she started to rub vigorously at her cheekbones. "my face itches," she complained, rubbing at the green-tinted skin across her face. He offered a small smile and informed her, "it's probably the markings. They are starting to form."

"really?" she looked straight down, trying to see her cheeks and just barely able to make out some difference in her skin tone from the bad angle she had available. "I wonder what they'll look like—like yours?" she didn't know how many different colors and patterns there were to choose from, each set tied to a different clan of the remaining 8. He smiled and knelt again to look closer at her face, tilting her chin up carefully so one cheek caught the morning light better. "hmm…they seem to be a bit wider than mine, and you should have only one mark per cheek." He rubbed across her cheekbone with his thumb. "it's a beautiful shade of green." Which was odd, he thought…to his knowledge, none of the 8 clans of InuYoukai had green markings at all. Where had the color come from? Perhaps Rin would be unique in that way.

"green is a good color," she hummed more cheerfully. "like springtime." He hummed softly and kissed her forehead, finally getting to his feet and going back to his treaties with a slightly concerned look once she couldn't see his face. He didn't see her look of disappointment that he couldn't stay with her.

Jaken arrived with a stack of fresh scrolls for Sesshomaru to pore over. He set the pile down with a proud sound and picked up the top one, brandishing it. "Sesshomaru-sama!" he squawked, "the Dou clan has sent another missive demanding a more lenient treaty!"

He glared at the imp's volume, eyeing the door that was left open between his study and his room. Rin had laid back down, he could see, and seemed to be trying to sleep, but he couldn't be sure. But Jaken's voice was sure to wake her again if he wasn't quiet. "and what is it they want?" he asked in a mellow, soft tone, taking the scroll and breaking the seal to unroll it. His eyes widened in slight surprise at the first characters on the page. Jaken saw them too, and went a little pale.

"er…well, milord…it looks as if they want you to step down as heir…" he muttered in a much more subdued, nervous tone.

...

A/N: here on chapter 31, I want to take a few moments to thank my followers: AnimeWoman76, Avalonhighgirl, Cercel, Eclipse1, Fiona222, Fleur Lilas, Gray Suede, Ildik0, Izuna FoxFlames, LadyCumberBunny, Madam3Mayh3m, PAMILA DE CASTRO, Rae016, RinSesslover, Serria Spell23, Shivax23, SkullFire2004, . , angeldancer93, belle'sdarkangel, beve, blackacess, ebeth20, eveelima, inuyasha-fan17, jessie150, kaelag, kagomeLove2, mystlight, ora1168, pinkwhaletail, polkea, rizarda15 , shawnam93, , sllmidnight, thegirlwholostherway, and yumeyumi1986! You guys make writing this story worthwhile, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support!


	32. Chapter 32

A/N: sorry for all the delays everyone! My computer crashed and I had to buy a new one, and I've been having a lot of problems with moving and starting school again. I didn't mean to have another hiatus, I promise! Everything should be sorted out now, fingers crossed!

Please also note there is an important poll you can find on my profile page! Please go and vote on it!

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Jaken and Sesshomaru continued reading the scroll, the toadlike imp with nervousness and Sesshomaru with some anger. "they must have heard rumors that you took a human mate, and took offense," Jaken noted with some trepidation. "er, milord…weren't the Dou the ones that…?"

"caused the Yume Massacre? Yes. And there were far more of them than there are of the Tsuki clan now." He had been worried of this possibility since he had been forced to live through the vision his mother had shown him. He had known if Rin stayed human, they would likely all be doomed. He gave a dark smirk, and Jaken gulped at his expression.

"m-milord?"

"I shall invite them to the palace in two weeks' time. They shall see no human as a mate." He gave a chuckle and picked up his brush, almost wishing it was a sword instead. He wished for a moment he could spar with Rin like they had just a short time ago—but then he remembered once again why he couldn't do so, and his smile warmed a little. He grabbed a sheet of paper and began his rather overly cordial invitation. He heard jaken shuffle his feet, wanting to leave but unable to as he hadn't been dismissed yet. He heard the imp hum thoughtfully, but mostly ignored him until he gasped sharply and held his mouth shut to prevent a loud squawk just in time.

"is something the matter, Jaken?" he glanced over at his alarmed servant, who clearly didn't trust himself to speak quite yet. He managed to calm down enough to yelp, "I-is there something I should know, Sesshomaru-sama?" Sesshomaru was puzzled at his reaction, then realized that Jaken still didn't know about Rin yet, and why she was still in bed after all this time.

"everything is fine. Rin is becoming an InuYoukai." Jaken opened his mouth and took in a breath—that really raised more questions than it answered!—but Sesshomaru wasn't finished talking yet. "the process is a slow one, and it is taxing for her. That is why she is still resting. In two weeks, it will be complete." He gestured to the page he was writing on. "so, when the Dou arrive, they shall see no human."

"is that so?" Jaken hummed, rubbing his chin with one three-fingered hand. His expression brightened. "but that's wonderful news! She can stay with us for much longer now!"

Sesshomaru nodded, seeming distracted again as he weighted the page down so he could continue writing and allow the ink to dry. "I know. But you must be careful around her, Jaken. Remember, for now she is human, only changing, not one of us yet. But her instincts are running ahead of the change. She cannot control herself yet. In the heat of the moment, she could hurt you or others, or even herself, without even knowing she was doing so."

Jaken gulped. "I see…I'll be sure to remember that…" he picked up the next scroll in the pile, checking the seal. "this one is from the eastern Umi clan…"

He worked through lunch without really intending to do so. A servant made sure Rin was fed and he himself wasn't hungry, only wanting to get through the mountain of paperwork that seemed to have formed in his brief absence. Jaken was especially cheerful today, and Sesshomaru supposed it was mostly due to the fact that he was getting to serve his lord once again. He weighted down the latest response to a missive on the floor with a couple of inkstones, at this point all he could spare for the job. The sound of the shoji in his room sliding open caught his attention and he looked over his shoulder to see the futon empty and Rin gone. He got quickly to his feet.

"stay here, Jaken. It may not be safe for you." He stepped quickly through the bedroom and straight out the open door, wondering where Rin was trying to go. Jaken, despite being told to stay, was too curious, and followed along at his master's heel.

Rin was walking along the upper hallway with her nose in the air, seemingly sniffing for something. Sesshomaru became uneasy—she looked too much like a pup on their first hunt. Rin finally heard the steps behind her and turned, spotting Jaken pattering noisily along behind Sesshomaru's nearly silent tread. Her eyes narrowed as she focused on him, in her instinctive haze only registering prey.

"AAAAHH!"

Jaken screamed in terror as Rin lunged suddenly at him, fingers outstretched and mouth open in a snarl far more ferocious than any he'd seen. He cowered, but she never touched him. Sesshomaru-sama caught her as she'd jumped, holding her tightly as she growled and struggled to get to him, her pupils barely visible they were so thin. He scampered back to the doorway and hid, shivering slightly in worry as Sesshomaru restrained his mate.

"RIN!"

Rin went still as she came suddenly back to her senses, confused as to why she was in the middle of the hallway in Sesshomaru's arms. "I…what happened?" she asked softly, looking around. She heard him sigh in relief as she relaxed against him.

"it doesn't matter. You're all right now."

"no, what happened? Why am I out here?" she needed to know—she couldn't remember anything!

He sighed softly again. "you were trying to hunt. Luckily for Jaken, you're not good at it yet." Rin gasped in horror—it was exactly her worst fear come true! Poor Jaken…

"oh no! is he okay? I didn't—" she had to know she hadn't hurt—or worse, _killed_ —one of her only friends. She couldn't see him from the angle she had, looking over her husband's left shoulder. At her words, he actually gave a slight chuckle.

"he is fine." He glanced over to where he could just see the little toad hiding in the doorway, trembling slightly. "you're fine, Jaken. she didn't mean to attack."

"No! I would never, Jaken, you have to know that!" she quickly affirmed Sesshomaru's words, and the imp reluctantly stepped forward, bowing slightly to her.

"I-I think I see what you meant now, milord," he stammered, looking up at Rin with newfound respect and fear. She was sad to see it. She didn't mind being respected, but she didn't want anyone, especially someone like jaken, to fear her. Her stomach rumbled slightly and she realized why she'd come out in the first place—she'd meant to go to the kitchen.

Rin let out an indignant squeak as Sesshomaru scooped her up once again like she weighed nothing and quickly returned her to the futon she'd only barely escaped. "I'll fetch us dinner. Any requests?"

"um…can I have some meat?" Rin asked in a sheepish tone, and he nodded, unable to give her a smile with his concern for her. If her instincts were coming in this strongly already, she was going to have a very hard time. He got her to lay back down and returned as quickly as he could with dinner for the both of them. She hummed as she ate quickly but neatly. "I never meant to hunt jaken," she muttered between mouthfuls. "he probably wouldn't taste good anyway."

He hummed softly in amusement. "we both know you didn't mean to do it, Rin. I warned you about the instincts, and I warned him. It was his own fault to follow me when I told him to stay back." He finished his last bite and set down his plate. "don't worry."

"I can't just not worry—this is the biggest thing I will ever worry about, no matter how long I live now…" he pulled her gently into his lap, holding her close to comfort her, rubbing her back lightly.

"once you are fully a youkai, the urges will stop, or at least become controllable, I swear it."

"it's not just that, Sesshomaru," she sighed, looking up at him as her eyes began to water, threatening tears. "it's the baby, and in a few months they'll be here, and you're going to take the throne, and I'll be a lady…" she was clearly very confused and rather frightened by it all. He held her gently closer to him, rubbing her back a little more vigorously as she sniffled.

"everything will be fine, Rin. And do not be afraid to ask for help. I want you to be comfortable with all this." He kissed her forehead but was surprised by her suddenly angry expression.

"how could I be comfortable with all this?!" Rin demanded in a loud voice, glaring at him. "My own home village hated me as a child, but now they would kill me on sight. I am becoming something I don't understand…and I don't mean just the youkai part." He frowned, not sure what to say to that, or even if there was anything to say that would help. He settled for pulling her head to his shoulder and stroking her hair, feeling her let out a few tears as she held him close. He sighed deeply and rocked her slightly side to side until he could feel her slowly relax once again.

"everything will come out all right. I will make it so."

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A/N: go vote on the poll! I mean it! =)


	33. Chapter 33

A/N: now that I've moved, I seem to be having some internet problems! Also, college is hard. But I finally finished this chapter! Aren't you proud? =)

There is a poll on my profile page, it will only be up until September 10th, so please make sure to vote if you have an opinion! Two people isn't enough to make such a big decision!

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"why can't I sit out in the garden?"

Rin had been trying to convince her beloved to let her sit out by the koi pond like she so loved to do. However, he continued to obstinately refuse her, much to her anger.

"I already told you. The magic maker said three days in bed. I can barely keep you in this room much of the time. It's only one more day—can't you wait that long?"

"I'll be asleep in ten minutes anyway! Why can't you let me go?" he sighed heavily at her words. She was right, she would likely be asleep very quickly. And he could easily keep an eye on her. Seeing his resolve crumbling, she added, "I'll stay on the porch, where it's warmer, and you can make sure I have plenty of layers. I'll even sit right in one spot if you put a cushion out for me!" he narrowed his eyes at his mate. Rin's stubbornness when she decided she wanted to do something was only surpassed by his own. He'd never met a woman so obstinate. He knew by now that if he didn't give her permission she'd do it anyway, and if she wound up hurting herself, it would be his fault.

"…all right. But only for a few minutes. Come in when you start feeling too sleepy." She hopped up with a big smile and gave him a kiss on the cheek with a cheerful "thank you!". He helped her get dressed in two thick lined jackets, then wrapped her gently in his moko before letting her go sit on the porch.

It was fifteen minutes before the InuYoukai lord decided to check on his mate, a bit concerned she had not come back in. he sighed softly to find her asleep, still sitting up on her cushion with her chin on her fist. As had become normal over the past days, he gently picked her up, one arm under her shoulders and the other under her knees, and carried her back to bed. She looked contented and her face was pleasantly rosy from the biting cold she felt so much more than he did. Her cheeks were marked with forest green that was becoming more distinct by the hour. In another day or two, it would be in whatever final shape it chose to take. He kissed the crescent moon he'd placed on her forehead before laying her gently in their futon, feeling her stir a bit and blink awake again.

"I'm cold…" Rin mumbled through a yawn. He pulled the quilt up to her chin, frowning softly in concern. She actually felt too warm to him, as though she were running a low fever. She soon fell asleep again and he sighed. "if she's sick," he murmured softly to himself as he stood, "I am tying her down to this bed."

Though he hated the stacks of paperwork that kept him away from his beloved much of the time, he had to keep on top of the treaties and missives. He often kept the door between his study and room open, but sometimes closed it if he was feeling too upset over one thing or another, not wanting to disturb her rest. Lately, he'd had to keep it almost constantly closed to keep his frustrated growls from carrying. The Dou and White-Yama clans were both being rather belligerent, insisting they had irrefutable sources that Sesshomaru had taken a human as his mate. Luckily, it was almost the new year, and it was tradition for the heir to present their mate to the clans halfway between the Running and the Whelping. Unfortunately, Rin would not be showing her pregnancy yet, and they'd have to put extra layers on her to hide that. But that was a small price to pay to appease the angry clans who were convinced Sesshomaru had done the unspeakable and claimed a human, intending to have a hanyou as his heir…

By that evening, Rin was groaning in pain, as all her joints ached with the feelings of exhaustion. Luckily, her fever had long since broken as if it had never been. He brought a tray with food for two and settled beside her to eat. She whimpered and moaned as she sat up and he frowned. "let me feed you, Rin. You're in too much pain."

"No! I can feed myself." Though Rin would agree she was in a lot of pain, she wasn't going to give in to being babied by anyone, even him, because of it. She gave him a momentary glare that had gotten her way a few times, and, after a heavy sigh, he handed her a bowl and chopsticks.

Rin only managed about 3 bites before she set the bowl down again, straightening her fingers with hisses of pain. "ohhh…everything hurts…" she moaned. She looked at him, begging but also rather sullen. "will you…help me?"

He set down his bowl of noodles and broth and picked up hers, helping her finish. "I told you, you should be resting more, Rin. It isn't good for you or the pup to exhaust yourself to the point of pain."

"I'm probably like this because I've been resting too much!" she insisted, pouting as he cleaned her up. He huffed and pulled her into his lap, swaying gently side to side until he felt her relax and heard her start to breathe more deeply. "there. Now, sleep, my love. It's only another day, I promise."

As he moved to return to his study, he was met at the door between rooms by Jaken, who was puffing from having run up the stairs. "what is it?"

"a…a servant…has arrived, from your mother," he managed to wheeze, bent almost double. "she said…she'd come…to care for Rin."

"very well, bring her here." He closed the door gently between his study and room once again and waited for Jaken to fetch the woman. The little toad looked dismayed and scampered back down the stairs. The woman padded back up a few moments later, carrying jaken under one arm, having taken pity on him. He looked grateful but ashamed of the turn of events.

After gently setting him back on the floor, she bowed as deeply as her swollen belly would allow—for this new woman was pregnant also, though close to halfway through, as any InuYoukai would be by now. "Hello, Sesshomaru-sama. Your mother sent me to care for your mate through her change from human to youkai. She thought perhaps the girl's stubborn nature would make things difficult." This woman clearly had good humor. Her hair was a light silver and went most of the way down her back, tied at the nape of her neck and kept neat. Under each golden eye was a slightly spiky deep blue diamond, marking her as a female of the Nami clan, some distant relation to Sesshomaru's father. Her height proved that as well—she was only perhaps an inch shorter than Sesshomaru himself was. She smiled politely, not expecting him to return the gesture, and he did not. "has the young lady been resting, as instructed?" her tone, though polite on the surface, clearly said she knew that was not the case.

He let out a soft, slightly exasperated sigh, and shook his head very slightly. "I have done all I can, but she refuses to remain in bed longer than it takes me to leave the room." He looked at the Shoji that divided his study from his room, able to hear Rin as her breathing once again proved her wakefulness. He was surprised to hear her growling a moment later. "her instincts have already taken over on more than one occasion," he continued, frowning.

"shall we see her, then?" the woman suggested, and he nodded, rising to his feet and opening the door once more. Rin's growling grew louder and she fixed her slit-pupilled gaze on the woman before her. She met Rin's gaze for several moments before carefully kneeling and kowtowing momentarily, then turning her head to one side, both exposing her neck and revealing the two small purplish marks of her own mating mark. Seeming satisfied, Rin stopped growling and sat up straight, watching the newcomer approach her warily. Just to be safe, the woman crawled the remaining few feet to the futon, keeping her head below Rin's to not stir her up again. Then she sat up and smiled, examining the black-haired girl with gentle hands. Rin blinked after a moment and looked up at Sesshomaru with some confusion.

"who is this?" she demanded as the InuYoukai woman gently poked and prodded her, seeming to approve of what she saw.

He offered her a very faint smile. "my mother sent you a midwife, to ensure you took care of yourself."

"and I'll say you haven't." the woman sat straighter and frowned disapprovingly, then gave a cheerful smile. "your transformation is coming along great, though—I see your marks are coming in!"

Rin rubbed at her face with both sleeves up over the heels of her hands. "oh, yes, it itches, doesn't it?" the midwife asked, and she reached into a small bag she had with her, producing a little jar of ointment. "here, milady, this will stop the itching. Do you have markings anywhere else?" Rin nodded and stuck out her wrists and ankles, where a thin band of green was forming, wrapping once all the way around each of her limbs. "oh, what a lovely color, like jade, or pine leaves," the woman commented, taking a fingerful of the ointment and applying a thin layer to her cheeks first, then the rest of her limbs. Rin let out a sigh of relief and seemed to melt once the intense itching was eased. Sesshomaru couldn't help producing a small smile at the sight of her finally happy after several days of discomfort.

The woman turned to him. "Milord, I know you have much to do—" she nodded at the desk, still visible in the other room, covered in treaties and missives—"but clearly Rin's instincts are far stronger than we anticipated. It's very likely she isn't able to rest without you nearby her, as she knows how vulnerable she is during this time." She frowned slightly again. "it would be easier if she were already a Youkai, of course, because her family or clan could watch over her while you worked, but as she has none, only you will do. Perhaps you can bring your desk in here?"

Sesshomaru's face fell once more at the suggestion. He wanted Rin to be comfortable and happy, above all, of course. But personal life and business had no purpose in the same place and time. There was a good reason his study and bedroom were separate and distinct in two rooms. He had no intention of having both together, and allowing his work as the lord of the western lands to interfere with his time with Rin, and her happiness.

"I mean no disrespect, Sesshomaru-sama. But Rin is unlikely to rest without you very nearby her, and she desperately needs to rest for her safety and comfort, and for the safety of your child as well." He turned a momentary glare on her, then stalked swiftly into the other room. Rin watched in concern, then slight disbelief, as he returned the desk to its former position in his room, near enough to his massive futon that he could sit on it. The midwife nodded in approval as he sat down, setting a handful of things back on the desk. His eyes went slightly wide as he felt something heavy suddenly flop against his back, and turned his head slightly to see Rin leaning against him, already falling back to sleep.

"I shall be downstairs if you need me, Milord."


	34. Chapter 34

A/N: I have launched my funding page, as well as a face book page for my fanfiction and other writing. If you want to support me or get news about my latest projects (or more likely any delays) just search Hannahgallifrey!

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Rin was prodding him awake for breakfast the next morning before he knew it, and at last he helped her dress and allowed her down to the dining hall, as her 3 days' restriction was finally over. She was met at the bottom of the stairs by her new midwife, who smiled in a friendly way. Rin pushed past her sullenly, seeming to resent her for no real reason. As Sesshomaru moved to follow her, he heard a pointed cough behind him.

"are you all right?" he asked the midwife out of courtesy. She nodded, bowing slightly. "I am assigned to the Lady Rin. So where milady goes, I must follow, at least until she is fully a youkai."

"I meant about your cough," he clarified. He certainly did not want someone who was potentially sick around his mate when she was in such a delicate state. But she offered a small laugh and explained it was only to get his attention. Rin tugged at his hand again, wanting breakfast and growing impatient. "I'm hungry," she told him, tugging insistently.

"all right, my love. Why don't you wait out on the porch until it's ready? I think I should have a proper talk with our new guest." Rin grumbled softly and left as the nurse turned to Sesshomaru with a polite nod.

"why does she dislike me so, milord?" the woman asked, looking slightly concerned. He sighed softly. "it isn't just you. She has always disliked people caring for her when she can do so herself. She barely tolerates it from me, so I'm not surprised she's less than thrilled to have you."

The woman hummed thoughtfully, taking in the information. "do you think she might warm up to me if I introduced myself?" she suggested, rather out of ideas. She had never encountered such a stubborn or unfriendly woman. Sesshomaru nodded, gesturing for the woman to settle herself at the table to be served while he went to fetch his young mate, who was sitting by the koi pond, watching the fish through the ice. She loved the bright flashes of orange and gold whenever one of them caught the morning light.

After he got Rin to sit opposite the young midwife, he left to get a pot of tea for them, mostly so he could listen in without intruding. Rin still often forgot how good the hearing of an InuYōkai actually was. She was eating eagerly and pointedly ignoring the newcomer, who finally cleared her throat, making Rin look up, before bowing.

"Lady Rin, my name is Chieko. I am a nurse in the service of the Lady Mother, and my specialty is Midwifery." The silence after her statement seemed deafening to Sesshomaru, but he knew it was a good sign, as it meant Rin had stopped eating and was listening to her.

"I have been assigned to care for you and the future heir until such time as the spell is completed, and you are fully a Youkai," the woman continued. Sesshomaru heard a small shuffle as Rin adjusted herself, he assumed sitting up a little straighter with newfound interest.

"Is there a reason you look like Her?" Rin asked suddenly. As she had thus far met very few InuYōkai, and even fewer females, he knew exactly to whom she was referring, and so, it seemed, did the midwife. Chieko hesitated and he quickly finished the tea so he could make his return.

"well, milady, I don't know how much you understand bloodlines and pedigrees, being human as you are…" Rin frowned a little. Of course she understood how they worked with people, and a little with horses, maybe—how different could it really be? She glanced up with a smile and held her hands up for a cup of tea as Sesshomaru appeared by her side with the tray in hand. Chieko immediately stopped talking and straightened up a little, afraid perhaps the subject was taboo for some reason. The Lord's Mother had told her to remain tight-lipped on any subject not directly related to the woman's health and that of their heir.

"you may tell her, Chieko. Perhaps I should have done so sooner." It was something so second nature to him, having grown up surrounded by the interwoven clans, that he hadn't even considered that it was something Rin might not understand. Chieko relaxed once more, clearing her throat softly and taking her own cup of tea.

"well, young Lady, there are 8 entire clans of InuYōkai. There were nine, quite a long time ago. All of those clans, at some level, are interrelated, usually among the Daimyō families. As for why I look like your mother-in-law, well, I am from a minor branch of the Nami clan, roughly, I believe, sixth cousins to the former Inu no Taishō." The woman looked rather pleased with herself after stating this, but Rin was still puzzled. She looked to her mate for clarification. That must have been someone important, after all.

Sesshomaru couldn't help a small smirk at Rin's innocent cluelessness. "My Father," he stated simply, his tiny smirk widening at her sudden shock and disbelief. She stared back and forth between the two of them, mouth slightly open as she compared the similarities. Besides size, eye color and possibly something in the shape of their faces, there wasn't too much. Clearly her mate had taken far more after his mother, and InuYasha must have inherited more of their shared father's looks. "You're related?"

"only very distantly, Rin-sama," Chieko corrected with a happy chuckle. "but yes, we are, in a way, related. We're no closer than two random people in one of your human villages, really." Rin nodded, taking a sip of tea. Well, that made some sense. "you never told me your father was a general," she noted, glancing back at Sesshomaru, who lowered his cup and one white brow. Hadn't he? Had it not been part of her lessons on history and etiquette? He couldn't recall.

"well, I apologize, my dear. My father was the general in his day, and my mother remains as the tendaimyō, the appointed leader of all clans and lands. There has not been a need of a new general for these past two hundred-odd years, for which I am grateful."

"why is that?" she asked him curiously, and he offered her a sly smile. "you didn't listen in your lessons, did you?" she blushed and he nodded, becoming serious once more. "as my father was the Taishō, and my mother is the Tendaimyō, I will inherit the sum of both, once our child is of this world. My title will be Taishōgun." He set his cup on the table, pouring a little more tea for himself. "however, if, for whatever reason, some large conflict were to break out before then, it would be my duty as the heir to take my father's place as general of my mother's armies." He looked up, meeting her eye solemnly. "that is obviously something I wish to avoid at all costs. You are already at enough risk as it is."

Rin shivered slightly, not liking the thought of her beloved marching off to war, not knowing if he would return. Too often the village men did just that. He was clearly having similar thoughts, if the hardness of his distant golden eyes was anything to go by. He had been growing more and more worried since the first of the missives from the Dō and White-Yama clans. They had fought before, causing a terrible civil war he'd had to study in detail in his lessons, and they could certainly do so again if they chose. If they refused to back down, he feared he would have no choice but to allow history to repeat itself in a second civil war—only this time, he had to win. How he could do that when the Yume, with their gift of foresight, could not…well, he prayed he wouldn't have to figure that out.

"well, I'm more interested in _your_ markings, Rin-sama," Chieko noted, trying to lighten the tone from the near morbidity it had reached between the two. She leaned forward a little, examining the completed deep green marks, looking like a small tendril of ivy winding its way from Rin's ear to the center of her cheekbone, under each eye, where it formed a small incomplete curl similar to a shepherd's crook. "it seems so familiar somehow…"

Sesshomaru took new interest in the marks as well. Now that the midwife mentioned it, there _was_ something familiar about them, somehow. "they aren't from any of the eight clans—" he began when she blurted "I've got it!"

Sesshomaru turned to look at Chieko as she glanced to him, excited. "the Yume were marked with Ivy, tendrils for the women and leaves for the men, you remember!" his eyes widened in shock and he looked back to Rin, looking even closer than before. It was green, unlike any of the clans, and it was certainly an ivy shape, which no current clan had. "but…how could that be? They've been extinct for over a millennia, you know the history—every member was slaughtered." Rin cringed at the words of the thoughtful midwife, who was rubbing her chin in contemplation.

"what are you talking about?" Rin asked, looking to her mate for answers. "it's nothing, Rin. They were long extinct before even I was born. My mother was still a child."

"well…do you have any stories?" Rin asked, looking to Chieko and back to Sesshomaru, suddenly eager. If she might have some link to the InuYōkai for herself, then she wanted to know everything she could about it. The only time Rin had heard the words 'Yume clan' they had been followed immediately by the word 'massacre', and that was all she really knew about them. Everyone was so tight-lipped about them, either reverent or fearful, Rin couldn't tell which.

"well…" Chieko began, suddenly hesitant. "every child of any sort of rank knows the histories…but…" she looked to Sesshomaru as if requesting permission to speak, and he nodded once. If Rin wanted to know something, then she deserved to, and she had never yet requested information he couldn't give her. Chieko sighed in resignation and sat up a little straighter.

"you know the saying that history repeats itself?" she asked Rin, who nodded, listening intently, her food and mostly-empty cup of tea forgotten. "well, it was then as it is now, but it ended…very poorly." Rin nodded, motioning for her to continue. Obviously the name would not be synonymous with civil war if things had turned out all right. "there was a princess who chose to take a human to mate and bore him a hanyou child." Well, Rin thought, that did sound very similar to their current situation. "a hanyou cannot inherit at all, especially such a high rank as that of Taishōgun. The clans were angry—no, outraged—at this, and they fought and overthrew the Yume, executing them all in a single day, ending with the Ivy-marked princess, her human mate, and the child last of all…" Rin cringed, gasping in horror at the thought of anyone being so ruthless as to be willing to kill an innocent child.

Sesshomaru took Rin's hand to comfort her. "as awful as that sounds, it is our history. The clans would not hesitate to revolt again if they discovered you as a human, which is why we chose to transform you."

Chieko shook her head. "it's more than that, Sesshomaru-sama. The Northern clans have been waiting for even the slightest rumor of you claiming a human since your father went astray over two hundred years ago."

He growled softly. "they are fools."

"oh, yes. Dangerous fools. And they greatly outnumber us." Rin's head shot up in alarm. "but aren't there a lot of you? I thought you said there were hundreds!"

"total, yes. But in the Nami clan—that's mine—there are only perhaps 6 of us, and in the Tsuki, only the two you know. Soon to be three." She nodded to Rin, indicating her future child. Sesshomaru nodded in confirmation and Rin hid her face in his fluff, suddenly fearful. "don't worry, Rin-sama. It's perfectly safe. None of the clans, and especially the Dō, can enter without the express written permission of the Lady Mother or Milord."

"it's really safe?" she mumbled into his moko, and he sighed. "I promise." But he stiffened slightly as he suddenly remembered the overly cordial letter he had sent the day before…an invitation to both the Dō and white-yama clans to come, not just into the territory, but to his mother's palace, at the new year!

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A/N: don't worry, if you think the plot's thick now, you'll be able to walk on it soon! hope to get more out as soon as possible but life's got me pretty down


	35. Chapter 35

A/N: thanks for the reviews and support guys! It means a lot, and helps motivate me to write!

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Three days after the arrival of Chieko, Rin was woken long before sunrise by a very loud sound. She tried to go back to sleep, but it came again.

 _DRIP._

 _DRIP._

 _DRIP._

She cringed and covered her ears, trying to block out the sound, and found her ears now formed dainty points. Her gasp of surprise woke Sesshomaru and he sat up as she did. "what is it, my love?"

"look!" she said, moving her hands to show him the delicate points of her transformed ears. "I can hear _everything_ now. How can you ever sleep?" he chuckled softly at her exaggeration and kissed her forehead.

"it's the same as what happened with your eyes. You'll learn to adjust to this being normal, I promise." She twitched suddenly as the deafening dripping sound came again, turning to see the shadow of an icicle on the window-screen. She growled at the offending formation, too tired to be dealing with something she usually rather liked. It was musical and pleasant, after all, just much too loud.

Sesshomaru smiled softly at her reaction. "cover your ears," he told her softly, standing and sliding open the window. Rin still flinched at the terrible crash of the ice splintering and falling to the garden below, but the insistent dripping was mercifully gone for now. She sighed softly as he sat back beside her, encouraging her to lay back down. After she complained she was unlikely to be able to sleep again, he rose and brought back two puffs of raw cotton, the sort someone would stuff a futon with. He rolled it into a tight ball and stuffed it in each of her ears. "there. That will help for tonight."

Sesshomaru held his young mate close as she relaxed and soon went back to sleep. He smoothed her hair, staying awake to watch over her. As far as he could tell, she was progressing rapidly, and he frowned, wondering what new ways her instincts would try to take over. She looked so peaceful and gentle, sleeping peacefully in his arms. He smiled softly at the delicately pointed ear that was facing up toward him and very carefully traced it, then followed it to her ivy-like marking, tracing across her cheekbone with the pad of his finger. She was both just like he had imagined years before, and completely different, somehow truer to herself this way than how he had once pictured in his fantasies of her being a Yōkai.

At dawn, Sesshomaru was already awake, standing at the window and looking out on the snow-covered garden and lands. He heard Rin stir and turned back to see her pull the blanket tightly around her, cold. He chuckled softly and stepped back to her. "good morning. Are you cold?"

She peeked one eye open and glared at him. "I don't have fur to keep me warm."

"not yet, at least. It will come soon enough." He wrapped the tail of his moko around her until she warmed up and finally sat up, ready to start the day. She stretched and looked at her wrists, where the same green vine markings wrapped around not quite twice, matched on her ankles. She looked to her beloved's nearer arm, seeing the pair of sharp pink stripes there. "my marks look so different from yours," she observed with a slight note of disappointment.

"there's hardly anything we can do about that," he noted, slightly surprised at her seeming disappointment.

"it's not a bad thing!" she told him quickly, looking up at him to meet his golden eyes. "I just thought I'd look a lot more like you do, because that's all I'd seen before." He hummed softly and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her slightly closer.

"to be honest, I had the same thought for quite some time. But, if I am honest, I like this look much better. It suits you." He played with a lock of her hair, which would very likely remain raven-black, if her marks were anything to go by. The Yume (as he had been doing some research the past few days) had black hair and golden-brown to dark brown eyes, and deep green markings like ivy. Rin's appearance, except for the simple things like growing claws and fangs, would not change much from now on. He saw her looking at her nails, probably wondering when they would grow and harden into the claws he and all other inuyōkai, even hanyō like InuYasha, had. He noticed the puffs of cotton were still in her ears. "you should probably take those out now," he told her, reaching to pull one out. "it will only take you longer to grow accustomed, otherwise."

She frowned and tried to get away. "but I can hear just fine." He gave her a look and she let him take them out. She sat still afterward, listening closely to all the sounds she had never been able to hear as a human. The manor almost seemed alive, creaking and shifting softly to accommodate the weight of its occupants. The wind she'd thought wasn't even blowing was making the tiny flakes of dry snow rub softly across one another and the empty boughs of the trees rub and squeak faintly against one another. One of the fish in the pond made a ripple as it came to the surface momentarily, and a bird fluttered outside, settling into the cherry tree right outside the window. There were footsteps below them as their handful of servants were already awake and cooking and going about their other duties. There was even a very faint, soothing rhythm very close by, like a deep and unstoppable drum muffled by layers of cloth. It seemed so familiar.

Rin opened her eyes and looked toward Sesshomaru, hearing the drumbeat get slightly louder. No, not a drumbeat after all. A _heartbeat._ He raised one white brow at the look of wonderment on her face, then held still as she laid her ear against his chest, closing her eyes again, enjoying the steady, soothing rhythm. "wow…" he smiled and smoothed her hair again, letting her marvel in a level of hearing even greater than she had before, when she was a Hanyō for a few months. She remained listening to his heart until she heard footsteps on the stairs. Chieko had heard their voices and knew it was time to start the day with an examination to see how Rin was changing.

"I was wondering when your ears would open, milady," Chieko noted, checking Rin over gently as always. "your fangs should follow quite soon, I think." Rin gave a big grin, excited at the prospect. The cheerful midwife returned the smile and gestured to the tray of breakfast she had brought along, but Rin was already behind her shade, putting on her layers for the day to go down to the dining hall. She hummed in amusement as Rin hurried down the stairs before either of the others could stand.

They were all settled and enjoying their breakfast when Rin heard something that made her sit up very straight, one ear turned toward the open door to the courtyard. There was shuffling and slight digging. A rabbit family lived under one of the trees in the courtyard, Rin knew, and she could hear one foraging through the thin layer of late December snow. The sounds of prey brought her instincts to the fore, and she was already hungry, which gave them even more power over her. She set her chopsticks down, listening closer to determine where the rabbit was, and Sesshomaru noticed her stillness. He could, of course, hear the rabbit too, but didn't think she would alert on it. "Rin, what are you hearing?" he asked her in a low tone, not wanting to startle her.

"prey…" she breathed, slowly starting to shift her weight as if to leap up and out the door. He quickly tried to get her attention off the rabbit. "you already have food, Rin, right in front of you," he told her, tapping a claw against the ceramic bowl of bean curd and rice she had been eating eagerly just seconds ago. He knew she loved the rabbits and thought they were 'cute', and she would be very upset if she killed one by accident or instinct. She was distracted by the noise for a few moments, then the shuffling and scratching came again. She had to get it. She had to hunt!

Chieko held back a chuckle with difficulty. "she has to get her first kill eventually, Sesshomaru-sama. Let her go." He sighed, looking at Rin as she tensed and shifted again, preparing to spring. "all right. Go on."

Rin was up and out the door with a speed that proved she was at least halfway through her transformation. There was a frightened squeak and some frantic shuffling, then a faint crunch and some scuffling before Rin returned triumphant with the headless rabbit in her mouth, growling softly. Chieko beamed with pride and Sesshomaru himself offered a small smile as she sat cross-legged back on her cushion, gnawing on the rabbit, though her teeth and nails couldn't get through the fur. Only her quickly increasing strength had allowed her to kill the rabbit in the first place. There was blood all down her front in a sight that would be quite alarming to a human. She suddenly stopped gnawing with a sharp yelp and dropped the prey in her lap, spitting something small, white and blood-covered into her palm with a sharp bark of pain.

"oh, dear, I was hoping it would be gentler…" chieko sighed softly.

"I-is that my tooth?!" she asked, staring at her small, unpointed canine, resting in her palm. She then noticed the rabbit. "is that a bunny?!" she asked, even more shrilly. Then she finally saw and smelled the blood. She rounded on Sesshomaru. "you let me KILL a _bunny?_!" she demanded, holding the limp body up by the back feet and accidentally making a bigger mess of herself.

"it was either the bunny," _what a silly name for a prey animal—_ "or one of us. Your instincts are growing stronger as you do," he told her smoothly, only lying a little to make her feel better. Chieko, knowing what he was doing, immediately backed him up. "that's right. If we had tried to stop you, it's very likely you would have injured yourself, and we can't have that." Rin sighed, looking down at the pitiful body.

"I can't eat this…"

"well, I suppose we can bury it, if that would make you feel better?" Sesshomaru suggested with a frown. He knew full well that this was something she was going to have to get over if she hoped to live easily as an InuYōkai. It was just prey, to be hunted and eaten to give health and strength. It wasn't a friend or ally, to be mourned when it passes. He was slightly surprised when Rin shook her head and corrected her earlier statement.

"no, I mean, I can't eat this. My teeth can't get through the fur." She stuck out her tongue, showing it was coated in the rabbit's hair. He sighed and took the rabbit from her carefully. "I'll have the cooks make a stew from it, for your lunch, how about that?" she nodded eagerly and he couldn't help but quirk a brow, concerned momentarily that his vision of her as a Yōkai was coming true instead of what he had been promised. But he shook himself mentally and turned away to the kitchens. It had nothing to do with her soul, which he knew was intact. Of course she was going to change with her instincts. She was not a human any longer, and, as he had always asserted to anyone who would listen, humans and Yōkai were two very different beings. By the time he returned, she had finished her breakfast and was chatting with Chieko. She turned to him far sooner than normal, now able to hear him approach, and gave him a small grin, showing off her missing canine tooth. He remembered she had lost the last few of her milk teeth while they traveled when she was younger. He stood her up and gave her a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose, sending her off to get changed.

"she is a wonderful woman. Truly, you could not have found a finer mate," chieko told him over her cup of herbal tea. "her teeth should all come out and regrow quite quickly, within the next day, or two at most. She is very nearly complete, Sesshomaru-sama." He sighed, giving a nod at the compliment and information. _She is changing so much, yet remains herself…I do not understand. But I am grateful._


	36. Chapter 36

A/N: Dedicated to the woman who brought one of my best friends into the world. I wish I could have met her.

* * *

After another few days, during which she grew all four of her fangs as well as her claws, Rin was once again sleeping late as Sesshomaru had to rise early to deal with paperwork. He heard her shiver slightly behind him as he sat at his desk, then a mumbled word.

"what?"

"moko," Rin mumbled, tugging lightly at the tail of his pelt. He removed it and allowed her to take it from him, not turning around. The past two days had been bitingly cold, enough that even he felt the chill, so he'd allowed her to use his fur along with extra layers for warmth, not much worried about his own discomfort. He heard her snuggle it and went back to writing the response to a missive from the Mori clan in the northwest, not far from the wolf tribe territory. He was distracted by more shuffling as Rin sat up abruptly, pushing the pelt away from her and letting out a huff, apparently now too hot, despite the chill in the room.

"huh? What's this?" she seemed to ask no one in particular. Her fingers brushed her chest, feeling a fine layer of downy fuzz hiding under her untidy black morning hair. Fur? But Sesshomaru's fur was sitting in her lap, and was much larger and coarser than the pup-down she could feel. She had woken several times last night, every time a load of snow crashed from the roof to the garden below, and was very tired and not quite awake yet.

"is something the matter, Rin?" Sesshomaru asked, signing the response and setting stones on it to let it dry. He turned to look at her, surprised to find her nude to the waist, apparently having shed her sleeping yukata at some point without him noticing. She moved her hair all behind her shoulders, revealing a thin band of fluffy black down running down both sides of her chest, between her breasts, and ending at her navel. He assumed it was one solid band that went around the back of her neck as well. "I'm hot," she informed him, arms crossed over her chest and a tired and confused look on her face.

Sesshomaru couldn't help but chuckle softly at his oblivious young mate. "I believe it's the fur on your chest," he informed her. Her look became even more puzzled. "Fur?" she repeated blankly, looking down at her chest. "huh." She petted herself a couple times, then her eyes went wide as she finally realized what was going on. He smiled softly as she stared at herself in awe. "it's your own Mokomoko, starting to grow at last," he told her gently. "remember, it is a part of you, just as mine is really a part of me. Once it's done growing you'll be able to wear it over your clothes, and take it off at will, but for now it's very attached." She petted it again and winced, finding that the skin, and thus the fur, was very sensitive to pressure.

Sesshomaru shifted to get back to his work, picking up a missive from the white-yama clan, and heard Rin stretch and stand, then cough in embarrassment, realizing she couldn't put her clothes back on due to her overly-sensitive fur. He glanced up again to see her with her arms still crossed to cover her breasts, blushing brightly. "I want breakfast…but I can't wear clothes…"

He hummed thoughtfully, setting the paper down once again and standing also, considering. He stepped to a wardrobe in the corner of the room and grabbed his lightest summer underlayer, hoping it would be light enough, and an under-tie to hold it shut. He carefully wrapped her in it and made sure to tie it shut just below her navel, away from the growing fur. It wasn't ideal, since her most-definitely-not flat chest was going to pull the upper part too open to be modest, but it was the best he could manage. She giggled and flapped the sleeves of the underlayer, which was big enough on her to reach the lower part of her calves. He kissed her head and sent her downstairs to breakfast, hearing chieko making her way up the stairs as Rin went down. The midwife chuckled and Rin growled.

"Chieko, don't be rude."

"I can't help it!" the cheerful woman said with a bright smile, setting down the tray of tea on the table and settling herself with a contented sigh. "so she's finally growing her mokomoko, then?"

"that's correct. And since I know she won't stay in one place willingly, better she wears some of my clothing rather than being indecent completely." He turned fully to face the midwife, ignoring the messages as long as he could, though he'd already been doing that too much, and they were starting to pile up a bit.

Chieko nodded, pouring herself a cup of tea and adding a few drops of concentrated herbs to it before taking a sip, nodding at his words rather thoughtfully. "it's already been about 11 days, altogether…just a few more, and she'll be complete." She took another sip and added, "it must be a shock to you, how much Rin-sama has changed."

He nodded after a brief hesitation. "she is still so much the same…still the woman I knew I could not live without the moment I lost her…for the chance to keep her soul intact, I will always be grateful." Chieko nodded and opened her mouth to say something else when she was interrupted by a sneeze. Rin pushed the door open and scratched her nose, a breakfast bowl and chopsticks in her other hand.

"quit talking about me, I can't finish eating," she teased, settling on a cushion beside the tea table to keep eating her breakfast. The midwife poured her a cup of tea and added a few drops of the herb blend to her cup as well, then poured a final cup for Sesshomaru, not adding the herbs this time.

Once Rin was finally finished with her rather sizable breakfast and her tea, chieko had her strip back to nothing so she could examine her, as she did every morning. As she stroked the young woman's lower back, she paused and let out a happy hum. She motioned Sesshomaru over and had him place his hand where hers had been. "do you feel how her spine is just the slightest bit more curved here?" she asked. Not everyone could detect a change so subtle, of course, but a mate should know every inch of his woman. After a moment, he nodded, and she smiled widely. "not only is she transforming into an InuYōkai, Sesshomaru-sama, but her body is beginning to change for your pup." He returned her smile with a very small one of his own, and Rin tried to look over her shoulder to see what they were so awed by.

"I wish I could see…"

"don't worry, Rin-sama. In another moon you'll start to see your bump. June isn't as far away as you may think now." Chieko helped her back into her oversized shirt and hefted herself to her feet with a grunt of effort, heading off to leave the pair of them alone.

Rin stared down inside the oversized underlayer at the band of black fuzz she was growing, clearly a bit awed at the thought of having her own pelt. She stroked it very carefully, delighted at how soft it was. Sesshomaru noticed her looking and carefully pulled his own pelt, abandoned on the futon, out of her reach and put it back on his shoulder where it belonged. She looked up sharply as she felt it slide past her. "hey!" she whined, trying to reach for it, but he scooted slightly away to maintain himself out of reach. She giggled and scooted closer, watching him move again. She then got up to move faster, only for him to flee the room with a soft chuckle. She giggled again, pursuing him down the hallway and leaping to pounce on him, completely forgetting her sensitivity to touch on her chest. He quickly tossed the tail of his moko to cushion her fall, but it still gave a shocking burst of pain when she hit, leaving her gasping and whimpering. He turned and gently scooped her into his arms, letting her curl slightly into his chest for comfort, hiding her watery eyes.

Sesshomaru kissed Rin's forehead lightly. "you need to be more careful, Rin. Don't worry, the pain won't last for long." She nodded understandingly, sighing softly. She turned as he did, hearing jaken pattering and stumbling around downstairs, possibly carrying something heavy. He gave her another gentle kiss and set her back on her feet. "why don't you lay down for a little while? I should go see what's wrong with Jaken."

When Sesshomaru arrived, Jaken grunted with effort and held the large, ornate scroll over his head so his master could reach it. "this…just came in…milord, from…your mother," he grunted, holding it aloft and sighing in relief as Sesshomaru took it from him, unfurling it with a small frown.

The scroll was a copy of the announcement sent to all the Daimyō to gather at the palace in three more days, at the new year, which explained how fancy and heavy it was. At the bottom, Sesshomaru's mother had added a note to him personally.

"My Son,

"As you can see, I have sent the traditional invitations to the clans for them to arrive at the new year. By that time, the spell to transform your young mate should be complete. I expect you to arrive as soon as she can take true form, in no more than three days' time."

"what's true form?" Rin asked, having followed him curiously down the stairs, not wanting to lay down when she'd barely gotten up for the day. He stiffened very slightly in surprise, having been so focused on the scroll and unused to her newly soft tread he hadn't noticed her arrival beside him. He glanced to her.

"you will have a form like mine." Rin frowned in puzzlement at his words. "I thought I already did?" she wondered aloud, feeling the point of one of her ears, then gesturing to her facial markings and her chest. Surely once her fluff was finished growing, she would be as complete as he was?

"no, Rin. This is a human-like form. By true form, We mean the form of a dog, that which gives us the name of InuYōkai." She gave him a look of awe as his words sank in, and couldn't help but ask if he was serious as she pictured that. She was going to be able to turn into a dog?!

When he nodded, she asked him, "will you have to teach me how to do it? Or will I just know?"

"you will know. It is an instinctual change every young pup must go through, and though you are physically much more mature, I shouldn't expect it to be any different." He tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear gently. "we must hope you change quickly- the transformation will be the final act to seal the spell and complete your change into an InuYōkai, and it is also necessary by tradition for you to arrive at the palace in your true form beside me." She looked worried about the ceremony, knowing the problem clans he'd mentioned a few days ago would, of course, be there along with the others. He gently tilted her face up toward him with one curled finger under her chin. "do not worry, Rin. Everything will be safe for you. You, and our child, are the utmost priority now. I care not what happens in this, so long as you are safe." Close as he was, he couldn't possibly miss her quickly stifled yawn, and kissed the top of her head lightly. "the sun has barely cleared the horizon. You should rest a bit longer. Nothing requires your attention today, and sleep makes the spell progress fastest." She sighed and nodded reluctantly, heading back to their room, knowing he would return himself soon enough, so she could rest. As Rin neared the end of her ordeal, she found herself able to sleep easier, her body knowing by instinct she was much less vulnerable than she had previously been. But it was still much easier to rest with her beloved watching over her.

It was nearly midday when Rin woke again, and this time she felt noticeably different. She sat up and stroked her chest again, remembering the fuzz, which had formed into a thin band and sloughed off her, completely numb and separate from her body now. She hummed contentedly and got up to get dressed as Sesshomaru was distracted by a treaty with the Ka clan on his desk. She made a noise to catch his attention once she was changed, placing the thin band on her favorite jacket's collar, where it attached itself just as Sesshomaru's moko once did, feeling like it belonged perfectly. He turned to her and his eyes widened with slight shock and appreciation at her beauty. She grinned. "I'm going to go show Chieko!" she told him, hurrying downstairs and out into the garden, where the midwife was resting under a tree, enjoying the fitful winter sunshine of the warmer than usual day. He turned back to his treaty, starting to write a response to their herb request, when he dropped the brush and splattered ink at a cry of alarm from Chieko.

"SESSHOMARU-SAMA!"

Without even bothering with propriety, he leaped directly out the half-open second-story window into the garden, worried about Rin. What he saw stopped his heart, not with fear, but excitement nonetheless. Rin was standing clear of the garden's trees, shaking and trembling, and small wisps of blue and lilac smoke seemed to come from her feet and arms. He could see from her face she was terrified and fighting the change, not knowing what was happening. "RIN!" he shouted to get her attention, and she turned to face him, her eyes a frightening, glowing red. "Don't fight it, this must happen! It's all right!" he wasn't sure if she quite understood his words, but she understood his tone, and stopped fighting, allowing the smoke to engulf her as her face seemed to start stretching and contorting…

Within seconds, she was nearly as tall as the trees, and she opened her eyes to look down at Sesshomaru, who seemed tiny now. She could see a massive black paw on either side of him, and her arms and legs—no, just legs now—trembled, unstable and unsure. Her nose could easily reach the roof of the second level, making her four and a half meters high. She turned her red-sclera eyes back to her mate, who beheld her frightened face. Her small, floppy ears hung low on either side of her head, proving her worry. What captivated him most was the way her markings had changed as she did. As her fur was jet-black, her markings, both the ivy on her cheeks and the moon he had gifted her, had become as pure white as his own fur to stand out against her body. There were large white tufts at each of her four ankles as well, where her ivy markings wrapped around her wrists and ankles. She was beyond beautiful, and at last complete, and Sesshomaru stood for a moment in complete awe of his precious Rin.

* * *

A/N: I want to say here that I will be taking another roughly 2-week hiatus, as I want the next set of chapters to come out all at once for better continuity. in addition I have a few other projects that need wrapped up and/or begun. and I will be at an anime convention this coming weekend. more details about that can be found on my page on that social media site. you know which. :)


	37. Chapter 37

A/N: chapter bomb part 1 of hopefully 3. Maybe more.

* * *

Rin tried to watch as her beloved walked underneath her body and out one side, finding another large space clear of the trees. She turned her head as a massive shadow loomed and a truly massive white hound stepped up alongside her, turning to look at her with glowing red-sclera eyes. The calm Sesshomaru displayed helped to put Rin slightly at ease. He was still proportionately bigger than her, at least half a meter taller and much more muscular than her slight and spindle-legged form. He buried his muzzle for a moment in the thick fur of her neck, nuzzling her gently, then gave her chin and nose a few gentle licks to help calm her further. Her trembling stilled and when he stepped forward she tried to follow him.

The key word being 'tried'. Rin had never had four legs, obviously, and tried to step with two feet at the same time, both a leg and an arm, resulting in her tangling her long, ungainly legs and splatting to the ground in a ridiculous pile of limbs that almost took Sesshomaru down as well. He turned around instantly in concern, then let out a sharp huff that sounded suspiciously like a laugh.

Rin jumped at chieko's voice. "four legs takes some getting used to." She had completely forgotten the midwife was still there in the garden watching her struggle. She whined softly and Sesshomaru was by her side in another instant, carefully nuzzling and coaxing to get her back to her feet. Once she was up again, he poked her shoulders and flanks so she could figure out which leg to move at a time. After a few laps of the now seemingly tiny garden, Rin's long tongue lolled out in a grin as she got the rhythm down. Right front, right back, left front, left back. Easy. Her long, flowing tail swished once or twice in something akin to a wag. Her mate let out a soft and playful growl, licking her muzzle again. It seemed he was much more unrestrained in his affections in this form, she noted, nuzzling the mass of fluff his moko became in this body. Her tail flicked again as she looked out over the garden wall to the land beyond, suddenly getting the powerful urge to run and stretch her newfound legs.

" _baby steps, my love."_ Rin's head whipped around in shock to hear Sesshomaru's voice as clearly as if he'd just spoken in her ear. She knew for a fact he couldn't speak in true form, and she knew she couldn't talk either. He nosed her cheek gently, telling her, " _don't be frightened. I have dreamed of being able to speak to you in such an intimate fashion. You will soon learn to speak to me in return, I have no doubt."_ She blinked at him, then returned her attention to the land beyond the garden wall, shifting her front paws eagerly. The wall was still almost chest-high, so she couldn't just step over, and didn't know if it would hold her newfound weight.

Seeing her determination to run, he let out a soft sigh of amusement and took a few steps back before bounding twice and leaping smoothly over the garden wall, turning back after sticking the landing and letting out a soft growl of invitation to her. She swished her tail nervously and carefully backed up until her paws matched up with his footprints. She ran forward eagerly, her tongue lolling in the breeze, and vaulted over the wall effortlessly. The ground, though, seemed to come up much faster than she had expected on the other side, and she splatted for the second time that day, face-first in a large snowdrift. Her head quickly popped up and she shook off the loose powder, still grinning hugely. " _let's go running!"_

" _Rin…_ " Sesshomaru let out a soft groan and sat beside her, bending down to gently nuzzle her stomach. _"you need to take it easy. Remember the pup you carry."_ She huffed and narrowed her eyes at him, gathering her legs under herself and standing, trying to shake the snow onto him. Because of his pure white fur, she couldn't tell how successful she was.

Rin's small black ears perked up a little, her nose twitching as she caught the scent of wild cattle on the soft breeze. Sesshomaru sniffed as well, catching the scent. " _do you want to go on a hunt together?"_ he suggested, glancing at her. She bowed her front end instinctively, grinning widely again, her fluffy tail swishing softly in excitement. He nodded and told her, _"stay close to me, and I'll show you what to do."_ She straightened up and trotted cheerfully after him as he started to track the herd. As she followed the scent, snuffling along as she kept following, she caught a much more interesting scent and started following it, not even noticing she was no longer continuing on the path her mate was leading her. It seemed so familiar, but as she hadn't scented anything like it in months, she couldn't place it. She continued onward, snuffling eagerly like a hound on a trail.

Sesshomaru got within sight of the herd of wild cattle when he finally caught the other scent along with them—humans. They must be hunting the herd as well, either trying to capture the half-grown calves to gain domestic herds or more likely just trying to pick off one or two for meat, just as he was. The scent was decently stale from his position, but he thought it best they turned back, not wanting any trouble on Rin's first time out. He turned about to signal her to return to the palace, only to find her completely missing, her lack of scent making it clear she hadn't been following him for some minutes. He snarled and bolted back down the trail to where her scent veered off, following just what he had feared—the fresh scent of a human hunting group.

Rin stopped in her tracks when she heard voices ahead of her. It sounded like a group of several men, villagers from their simple, coarse language and the variety of ages apparent in the tones. Curious, she slowly edged farther forward, taking great care where she placed her massive paws, trying to be silent, though it was honestly impossible. She spotted the hunting party just as they spotted her and yelled in alarm, quickly trying to flee into the thicker trees where Rin couldn't follow. She chased them immediately, as anything fleeing automatically became prey according to her instincts. One of the younger boys with the group, no more than 8 or 9 years old, tripped on a root—

Sesshomaru rounded the last corner just as a scream of terror sounded from in front of him from a small human boy. Rin stopped so fast, alarmed and shocked back to her senses by the cry, that she fell on her rear end, staring wide-eyed at the boy. " _RIN!_ " Sesshomaru snarled through their bond, making her flinch at the painful volume only she could hear. He was furious with her. " _you don't go off on your own! It's dangerous! All these years, and you've never learned?!_ " he calmed almost instantly at the sight of her cowering before him in fright at his anger, head and shoulders ducked and ears as low as they could get. He gave a soft growl, proving he was only angry because he was worried for her. _"let us return home, Rin. We can hunt another day. Leave the humans to their pursuits."_ She got carefully to her feet, ears and tail still tucked and head low as she felt awful for wandering off and worrying him. He gave a ferocious snarl as the humans tried to run after them as if intending to attack. They retreated quickly, not liking the odds against the massive and clearly ferocious InuYōkai. He led her all the way out of the forest before stopping.

" _Rin…"_ He began, intending to apologize for scolding and frightening her earlier. But before he could continue, a soft and timid voice, almost a whisper, seemed to caress his ears, though he knew it was only within his mind.

"… _sorry…"_ Rin managed to mumble, looking away from him, her head still bowed. She was ashamed of her actions and how much they proved she was not any more in control of her instincts than she had been before. She looked up in surprise as he gently wrapped his neck over hers as if in a makeshift hug.

" _it's all right, my love. It is my own fault. I should have been more attentive and noticed the humans long before you did. I am sorry. I promise you we will have other opportunities to hunt like this."_ Rin relaxed at his gentle reassurance and sighed softly, leaning into his chest a little in an effort to return the odd hug. He led her back to the gates and stopped, making no effort to leap back into the garden. He was instead staring at the open gates. She looked at him curiously. While changing forms into a dog was an instinctive thing sooner or later, changing back was more of a learned skill.

" _it's simple to return to human form, Rin,"_ Sesshomaru informed her, meeting her eyes with a calm gaze. " _you need simply imagine yourself as you appear human, and will it to be so."_ She nodded and concentrated on what she had looked like in the mirror earlier that day, imagining her paws were hands and her fluff was only on her shoulders and chest. She concentrated long and hard and opened her eyes—nothing. "you must be very forceful about it. Demand your form to return to mine," Sesshomaru told her, already having changed. She focused even harder, imagining herself in his arms, and in moments she opened her eyes as she felt his real, warm arms wrapped about her. He held her close to him for a few moments, able to feel that she was unsteady after going back from four legs to two.

"ah…don't we have to go to your Mother's palace now? Because I've changed?" Rin asked worriedly. She had barely any confidence in her true form, but she was supposed to arrive at the palace that way?! What if she stumbled or tripped? She would make a fool of herself in front of everyone, some of which, from what she'd been hearing, would be more than happy for the excuse to get rid of her. He shook his head gently, assuring her that they would go soon, perhaps tomorrow, but it wasn't the least bit necessary to go now.

After a leisurely dinner and the departure of Chieko for the palace, eager to see her mate again now that her duties were fulfilled, Sesshomaru and Rin retired for the night, with Rin curling into a loose ball and sleeping slightly separately from him, which was only slightly unusual.

* * *

Rin was reclining on piles of cushions in the seeming nest she had made, her hands draped, relaxed, across a belly of truly impressive size. It was clear she was nearly ready to give birth, and she wondered momentarily if perhaps she was having a litter instead of one child with some amusement. As Sesshomaru pulled her close in real life, he wrapped his warm arms around her form in the impressively real moment she was living now, too. She smiled as he placed one large hand on her swollen belly, gazing lovingly at her.

The scene suddenly, jarringly shifted, becoming dark. Indistinct forms and voices shifted around her in the poor light, and she could see and hear little, her mind dominated by unbearable pain. Tears leaked from her eyes as no matter what she did, the pain only seemed to grow ever more intense, until it suddenly eased. She panted, sweating, and managed to look up, seeing a tiny yellow bundle in the fitful light of the few candles they'd managed to gather in the middle of the night. "please…give him to me…" she mumbled, reaching with trembling arms for the bundle, but they walked out of the room. In all this time she never heard the newborn cry, and a woman knelt between Rin's feet, only her fiery orange hair and black teardrop forehead marking visible in the fitful light. "please…" Rin whispered again.

"I am sorry, milady…we cannot save him…he is in the Kami's hands now…" murmured the woman's voice as she calmly cleaned up from the birth. "no…No…" Rin whimpered, starting to sob—

"NO!"

Rin's voice rang out suddenly in the still night, making Sesshomaru jerk awake, instantly defensive. Seeing there was no threat, he calmed somewhat and pulled Rin into his arms as she sobbed, rubbing her back and rocking her. "Rin, what is wrong?" he asked her gently after a moment.

"I…I had the baby…" she told him between sobs, struggling to calm down. "but he didn't cry. They wouldn't…let me hold him…and when I asked why, they said—they said—" she started to sob harder once again. "I can't lose them!" she wailed softly.

"ssh…it was merely a dream. Nothing will happen." Sesshomaru smoothed her raven hair, making sure her ear was placed on his chest so his heartbeat might soothe her. It wasn't until Rin calmed and returned to sleep that he started to doubt her dream had not been something more…the Yume clan had earned their name, 'dream', from their ability to see the future and sometimes to prevent poor outcomes from happening. If Rin was a Yume, as everything about her appearance seemed to indicate…then every dream she had needed to be suspect.

Most especially the bad ones.


	38. Chapter 38

A/N: chapter bomb part 2 of 3! I hope you guys loved the last chapter, seeing Rin in a completely different form like that and having some mostly carefree fun. Things are soon going to get pretty heavy, so… *rubs hands together evilly*

* * *

A bright beam of winter sun woke Rin the next morning, and she let out a soft groan and tried to roll over into the comfortable darkness of her futon. She heard a soft chuckle and felt Sesshomaru's gentle hand smoothing her hair. "Ohayoo, Rin."

"…No." Rin grabbed the quilt and tugged it over her head, trying to burrow further into the warmth as he chuckled again. After a few moments, she decided to give up and wriggle back out from under the blanket. "Do we _really_ have to go to your mother's palace today?" she grumbled, trying and failing not to whine.

Sesshomaru gave her a gentle kiss on the moon on her forehead as Rin sat up. "I am afraid so. This is a very important ceremony that has been tradition among us since before memory." He ran his long fingers through Rin's long raven hair, gently getting a tangle out. "I promise, once it is over, we will be able to return here and not be bothered again until you are ready to whelp, come summer." He was glad to see Rin's soft smile show after a few seconds. Her nose wriggled slightly as she caught scent of breakfast coming up the stairs for them, as he'd requested.

While they ate, Rin thought about the coming trip and the ceremony she knew almost nothing about. "how will we get there?" she asked, remembering he'd said something about it yesterday morning.

"We will travel there in true form, as I said." He took another bite of his food as she frowned at that, considering. "it will be fine. You settled naturally into your new legs, from what I saw yesterday."

"But—" she frowned deeper. "but…I can't do that! Aren't the clans supposed to already be there, watching us arrive? What if I trip or stumble? I could make a fool of myself in front of everyone!" she realized something else and added, "I can't fly, either—and isn't the palace usually in the clouds or something like that?"

Sesshomaru sighed softly. He was also concerned about that. While Rin did have a natural affinity for her massive canine form, she was brand-new to it. No one sane would expect a young pup to run with grace and poise on only their second ever transformation. Not only that, but he was worried about their child. Her stomach was, if possible, even more vulnerable to injury or attack in that form than as a human, and they were not without potential enemies, to say nothing of natural dangers. He would certainly never forgive himself if she or their pup came to any harm when he could have prevented it. Add flying—which took years to master at best—to the mix, and it was far too dangerous for his liking. He nodded slightly to himself as she watched, waiting for his reply.

"you are right. Perhaps it would be best if I carried you, as I did before, at least to the courtyard, and you can transform there if needed." He relaxed as he saw Rin let out a loud sigh of relief and let her stiff shoulders loosen. He nodded, seeing her finish the last of her breakfast. "for now, go and bathe, my love. I shall send a handmaiden to help you dress and put up your hair for you."

She smiled at the prospect of a bath, but her face fell at the mention of a maidservant. "Surely I can dress myself to your satisfaction!" she insisted. "I won't need help." He shook his head, and she continued, "I'm not going to wear some ridiculous mountain of fancy clothing because your mother or some stuffy tradition demands it, either—"

He placed a finger on her lips to silence her gently. "Rin. It is not my choice. It is all about appearances and tradition. And I promise it won't be as bad as you think." He allowed himself a tiny smirk. "if it makes you feel any better, I must dress up as well, which is something I care for just as little as you do." Her shoulders slumped in defeat and he stood, offering his hand to pull her to her feet and send her on the way to the bath house. He had chosen to bathe last night, and simply went to the wardrobe, starting to set out his new robes with a determined sigh.

When Rin returned to their bedroom, she smiled broadly at the sight of her mate. She had never thought he could look better than he normally did in his white everyday traveling robes. She could scarcely believe how wrong she had been. He had two collars visible at his throat, the undermost red and the top one white. His white sashinuki pants were replaced with slightly simpler but more formal black 8-panel hakama, and his feet were clad in split-toe tabi socks rather than his preferred boots. Over his kosode he wore a black haori coat adorned with the red hexagon and flower pattern Rin had long suspected was some sort of clan crest. It was embroidered in white thread on five different points on the haori—both sides of his chest, and three places on his back. The haori was tied shut with a large and fancy tasseled knot. Rin knew it was not as formal as it was possible for him to dress, but it was likely the fanciest thing he owned here at the manor.

Sesshomaru offered a small smile in return as he beheld his mate. Her favorite deep green jacket was still draped over her slight form in a way that made it trail gracefully behind her. She, too, had two underlayers, with the bottom-most being red and the upper one white. Over top she wore a deep black and very formal kimono which had less decoration than she was used to. What little there was happened to be very brightly colored to make up for there being less of it. Her obi was also a bright color and very broad and fancy, covering her between the bottom of her breasts and her navel. There was also an extra layer of fabric peeking from behind her obi on top and a cord tied in a fancy knot over the top of the colorful band to add layers of formality to her garments. Her small feet were also covered in tabi, he could see. She blushed lightly as he looked up to see they had reddened her lips pleasantly and pinned up her hair in an elaborate bun to expose the nape of her neck, as was fashionable. He preferred her raven hair down and flowing free, just as she did, but he had to admit the look was very good on her.

Sesshomaru stepped forward and took Rin's hand gently, leading her downstairs to wait a few moments more while he put on his armor and gathered his blades. He grabbed her dagger as well, passing it to her before heading out to the garden. Rin found a place to tie it to her obijime where it wouldn't be in the way. When she looked up again, he was standing by the koi pond, all five meters or so of him. Something within Rin stirred and she immediately shut her eyes and covered her ears, trying to hold her form together. Her instincts demanded she join her mate in his form, as she should, and she shivered, fighting the urge. She heard a soft, concerned whine and felt him nudge her as gently as he could. He pulled away from her quickly as her eyes snapped open, glowing red, and she changed within seconds, looking ashamed of her lack of self-control.

" _it's all right, Rin. We can make some of the trip like this. Just stay right next to me, understood?"_ Rin looked away and heaved a sigh. _"okay…"_ she mumbled, looking up as he jumped over the garden wall and hurrying to follow him.

After traveling for quite a distance, they reached a fair-sized river that was too big for Rin to confidently leap over it. She stopped for a drink and shook her head with a sharp sneeze as water got up her nose. _"it's freezing! I'm not walking through that!_ " she thought as she let out a yelp. He made a scoffing sound.

" _would you prefer we fly the rest of the way, then?"_ he suggested, looking at her with a bit of amusement. Cold water had never bothered her before that he could remember. There were sheets of ice on the water, of course, but what should that matter? Cold paws had never bothered him any. She nodded quickly and he sighed. _"very well, then return to your human form and I shall carry you._ " She blinked at him and managed to mumble that she didn't know how without him being in human form too. He took his time shifting back, exasperated, and she was able to change. "now then, are you ready to go?"

"can you still fly in this form?" she asked, not remembering whether he could or not, or whether he could while carrying something or someone. He simply sighed and scooped her up, holding her to his chest and bounding into the air. They didn't have time to waste if they wanted any slim chance of reaching the palace before too many prying eyes were there.

Rin was shocked awake by her mother-in-law's voice snarling at them. Sesshomaru gently placed his mate on her feet in the throne room. Luckily no one had been expecting them, so no one had seen them arrive. Well, almost no one. "What. Are. You. Doing?!" Sesshomaru's mother demanded of them, almost irate. "what were you thinking, coming here in human form? What if one of the daimyō had seen you? Or even a servant? Have you any thought in that empty head of yours, my son?!"

"Mother," he spoke in a barely concealed growl, "Rin has only been able to transform for a single day. She has barely gotten her paws straight, and you expect her to be able to fly here?" the woman looked offended that she apparently had not thought much about it. It was simply protocol to have them both fly in, just as she had done centuries ago with her own mate, making a grand entrance and proving their strength and poise. She looked at the girl now, noting she cleaned up very well, though she had gotten many things wrong, as had her son. This was not some simple tea ceremony, but the second most important and formal occasion in their lives. She reached forward and gently but firmly took the girl by the wrist, meaning to lead her away. "you simply won't do."

With a sharp and obvious growl of warning, Sesshomaru's large hand closed over his mother's wrist, squeezing with a little more force than strictly necessary to break her grip on her daughter-in-law. When the slight white-haired woman looked up sharply at her son, he spoke. "Mother. You must remember the pup that grows within her. You must be gentle and—"

"Sesshomaru!" she barked, cutting him off angrily. "do you forget so easily that I myself carried and birthed you? I know just how delicate a woman with child is—and it is not as delicate as you seem to believe." She pulled her wrist free of his grip and snapped, "you will not do either. You look as if you have forgotten every lesson on etiquette I ever gave you. Change your clothing, polish your armor, put away two of your blades, and tie up your hair. You are neither a pup nor a bachelor any longer."

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes slightly in distrust at his mother, then turned his back sharply, striding swiftly for his room within the palace. His mother hummed in satisfaction at his retreating back, then gently took Rin's wrist again, gently patting her hand with a small chuckle. "he's so charming when he's being protective, isn't he? So like his father sometimes. And don't worry, girl, you have done a fine job, but special care is needed in this case." Rin let out a sigh of relief as she trailed after her mother-in-law to a room with all manner of clothing.

When Rin returned in time for a late dinner, her clothing had changed once more, as had his. Sesshomaru was just putting his sword, bakusaiga, into his sash of rank, which was now tied around the biggest and thickest black coat Rin had ever laid eyes on. It bore a passing resemblance in shape to InuYasha's red jacket, except it went past his knees and had a rather small round collar instead of the usual one. There were now about 4 collars visible under the coat, rather than just two, and his pants had also changed. Rin looked back up at his face, half expecting one of those hats like jaken wore, but instead found his white hair bound in a high ponytail that flowed down his back. His mokomoko, soft, creamy white, and freshly cleaned and brushed, looped over his right shoulder and spilled down his strong back and onto the floor for several feet, like a train.

"Are you done staring?" he asked teasingly of his young mate after several seconds. She quickly blinked and shut her mouth, blushing lightly and looking away. He stepped over to her, looking her over with a critical eye. His mother had always had good taste and a perfect touch when it came to fashion, and he could see that held true with his beloved now. Despite the fair amount of white still on him, both with two of his under layers and his hakama, there didn't seem to be a speck of it on Rin anywhere. As she was supposed to be carrying new life, this didn't really surprise him. A poor choice it would be to wear the color of death to such a ceremony. Her outermost kosode was still black, but a little more subdued, covered with his crest symbols, and two more jackets had been added under her deep green one, one with chrysanthemum and another with what looked like a crane, both symbols of long life. He was slightly surprised his mother had allowed her to keep the deep green jacket with its sakura branches and flowing river near the hem, as it would be months before the trees bloomed again. But then, perhaps she had no choice. It was Rin's most favorite item of clothing, and she refused to take it off for anything.

Out of all this, it was Rin's stomach and her obi that caught his attention the most. The obi was soft and thin, with no obiage or obijime this time, and tied just under her breasts, making her belly seem to stick out slightly. He suspected his mother may even have stuffed the lining of the winter kosode to make her belly the size it should be by this time of year, to save them an explanation. There was a knock at the door and he stepped away to answer it, finding a servant with a tray of food and tea. "Gobodō-sama will be coming later to speak with you, Sesshomaru-sama. For now, please rest and eat. The tea is for milady, and the midwife said you aren't to drink it."

"why not?" he asked with instant suspicion, taking the tray and placing it on a table.

"It is an herbal blend for women with child, and would be wasted on you." Rin opened the teapot and sniffed lightly, starting to smile. "it's just stinging nettle and a few other things. It wouldn't do anything to you, but you probably shouldn't drink it."

" _stinging_ nettle?" he repeated. He did not want stinging _anything_ near Rin, no matter who said it was good for her. But she just laughed at his reaction. "that's just what it's called, because the leaves have little hairs that will sting you if you pick them wrong. But it's very good for you." She poured herself a cup and admired the scent as he settled cross-legged beside her and served their food.

When they were finished and Rin was growing sleepy, Sesshomaru's mother swept suddenly into the room in a much more formal garb than she normally sported as well. "the packs will be here tomorrow. At noon, you will present your mate to them." She eyed him with satisfaction as he had jumped to his feet at her sudden appearance. She stepped forward, momentarily seeing her former mate, the young Nami man who had become the Taishō upon the birth of their son, taking the title from her father. She had begun to despair this day ever coming, as her only son was content to wander the countryside after his father's death, lusting for nothing but power. But now, at last, it had come. She patted his cheek with a gentle hand. "you have grown well, my son." She stepped back to address both of them. "tonight, we shall have a practice before the palace servants, to ensure there will be no trouble or missteps come tomorrow."

* * *

A/N: sorry this took so long to get out, I wanted to get the clothing and herbs right and that involved a little more research than I really intended. you can't necessarily trust the first page google brings up, especially with japanese traditional clothing!


	39. Chapter 39

A/N: chapter collection part 3 of 3. At last, the true drama shall begin!

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The morning of new year's day was a busy one in the kitchens of the InuYōkai palace. As each of the seven Daimyō lords and ladies arrived, they brought their lesser nobles and a handful of kitchen and cleaning staff, as well as maid or manservants for themselves. Thus, the kitchens were bustling with well over twice the usual amount of servants, and more than 3 times the usual amount of food, preparing for the banquet that would begin as soon as the ceremony concluded just after noon. In the corner by a large pot of boiling water stood a Dō servant, looking about 14 years old, with several handfuls of various herbs. She was in charge of making tea for the Tsuki Lord, Sesshomaru, and his new mate, whoever she was. She brushed the mouse-brown hair away from her sweaty forehead with trembling fingers, her ears echoing with the speech Lady Dō had given to her servants the night before, shortly before the palace came into view. _"I am certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the Heir, that Sesshomaru, is lying about the woman he has claimed as his mate. It is clear to me, as it is to the rest of the Daimyō, that he has taken a human to his side, intending to sully his bloodline just as the Yume Princess of old!"_ she had paused, meeting eyes with each of her servants in turn. " _it would be a far simpler thing if he were to admit this, but he refuses! So, it will be the job of you, one and all, to see that this human woman meets with some sort of an accident…"_ she had given each of the kitchen servants—four of them in total—sprigs of a deadly and almost untraceable herb.

The servant girl wiped the sweat from her brow, clutching the tiny packet with the herb concealed within it. It was usually referred to simply as the assassination herb, as it was most favored for just that purpose. Merely being in possession of it was punishable with immediate execution. She should be happy to drop the rice paper packet into the waiting cauldron and simply walk away, her job finished. But she could not bring herself to do it. Her leader was so sure of what amounted to little more than a few whispered rumors. It did not feel right to her at all, but she must do her duty…

She dropped the tiny packet into the fire, watching it be consumed, and added instead an herb she knew would only harm humans, while doing nothing to any yōkai, not even a tiny unborn babe. She added the remaining herbs, such as stinging nettle and a tiny slice of ginseng, to the teapot on top of the sprig, then took two ladles of the boiling water and poured it into the pot, seeing the brew turn a pleasant greenish color. She used her apron to carry the hot teapot over onto a tray and then walked away, busying herself with another task, her shoulders relaxing. She had done her duty. There was nothing now but to wait.

* * *

Rin let out a soft grumble, snuggling farther into her mate's arms as a soft but insistent knock sounded at their door just at dawn. She tried to ignore the sound, but after a few seconds Sesshomaru stood to answer the door, taking the warmth of their futon with him. She sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes as he set the tray on their low table, taking the opportunity to admire him in just his white juban, all he had worn to bed. "come and eat, my love. You must be off to the bath house soon to be prepared for the ceremony." Rin groaned softly at his words, not looking forward to more layers and ties and too many hairpins to count. She settled herself on the cushion across from him and poured herself a cup of tea, pausing to enjoy the aroma before she took a sip. She paused in confusion, sniffing closer and catching his attention. "is something wrong, Rin?"

"this tea…it has something in it I don't recognize," she murmured, offering him the cup. "do you know what it is?" he took the cup from her small hands and took a deep whiff of the tea, noting it was a nearly identical blend to the tea she had at dinner the night before. But, under the other herbs was a faint note of sharp bitterness that should not have been there. While he didn't recognize it, he certainly didn't trust it either. He set the cup sharply on the table and stood abruptly, tossing on a single kosode and tying it to make himself decent before storming out abruptly, ordering Rin not to eat or drink anything until he returned.

It did not take long for the lord of the Tsuki clan to find the servant woman who had brought their morning meal. She was a servant who was always in the palace, so was now busy scrubbing floors. "Sesshomaru-sama? Is something the matter?" the servant asked, sitting up.

"Rin's tea has been tampered with. Who prepared it?"

"oh, the tea? It was one of the newcomers, I think. At least I didn't recognize her. Young woman, hair the color of a mouse and thin brown lines on her cheeks." The woman didn't have to say the clan of the new servant, as the description of light brown hair and thin brown markings made her none other than a member of the Dō. Sesshomaru grunted angrily and turned on his heel after giving a stiff nod of thanks to the woman, stalking off to the kitchens. He was going to have a word with this Dō servant girl…

All movement in the kitchen abruptly froze as the Heir of All Lands appeared suddenly in the main doorway, madder than a kicked hornets' nest. As there were only five Dō in the kitchen, two men and 3 women, only one of whom could be called a 'girl', his target was immediately obvious. The girl saw him lock eyes with her across the room and tried to get away before a strong, angry grip seized her left forearm, sharp claws digging into the soft flesh mercilessly. "you," he snarled, "it was you who made the tea."

The girl nodded, swallowing thickly and trying to hide her terror in bravado. "I did. What's wrong? Not to your _mate's_ satisfaction?" she spat the word 'mate' like a curse at him.

He growled in warning, tightening his grip even more. Everyone in the kitchen remained still, no one daring to move and draw the man's ire upon them instead. "we had an identical brew last night, and it is obvious something more has been added to this. What are your intentions toward Rin?"

She shrugged, her bravado failing her. "it was worth a try," she said flippantly, swallowing again. "I suppose you scented the poison?"

Almost everyone in the massive room flinched at the near roar of anger the white-haired man produced at the girl's words. She cowered and tried to escape, terrified for her life. "WHY are you trying to harm my mate and child!?" he demanded of her, not loosening his grip in the slightest.

"I-I-I have my reasons," the girl stammered, her free arm up to protect her face in the very likely event he chose to attack her. "no one wishes another war, and it would be simpler if she met with an accident—" the girl suddenly let out a terrible shriek of pain as Sesshomaru saw red at her words and loosed the poison in his claws, burning and melting the soft flesh of her forearm. Several of the other servants sprung into action at last, and three of them sprang forward, two restraining him and one pulling her away, begging. "please, Sesshomaru-sama, now is not the time for such drastic acts!"

He quickly released the girl as she fainted into the older woman's arms, snarling quietly as his eyes slowly returned to normal. "I require fresh tea for my mate, and new food. It will be made in front of me, and I shall deliver it myself." No one moved for a second too long. "NOW!" he barked, making everyone scramble to obey. A pair of guards quickly came with a healer and carried off the servant girl while he waited for his new meal, made by the palace servants he had grown up with and therefore trusted above any others.

When he returned to his chambers with a tray of tea and onigiri, he was surprised to see a young man in armor standing right outside his door. "Gobodō-sama sent me," he said shortly with a crisp salute in lieu of a bow. He clearly had more to say, so Sesshomaru ordered him to say it, not in the mood for niceties and games today. "I am to guard the Lady Rin every moment she is out of your sight, Sesshomaru-sama. The only other in whose company I may leave her is Gobodō-sama herself. No other is trustworthy, not even my own men." He gave another brief salute. "I am the captain of the palace guard, Taro. You may ask me anything regarding security."

Sesshomaru eyed the man closely, taking in every detail. What he saw put him slightly at ease. The man was clearly very honor-bound, well-kept and highly disciplined. His armor was functional and polished and he held himself with authority and power while still showing obvious deference and obedience to his Lord. Though, again, it was obvious just by looking, he asked, "where do you originate, captain?"

"here in the west, Sesshomaru-sama. The Umi clan." Yes, Sesshomaru expected as much from the platinum blonde hair and pale ocean- or sky-blue striping on his proud cheekbones. Coupled with the pale gold to silvery-grey irises, this man was as pure-blooded an Umi as they came. They had always been close allies of the other western clans, the Tsuki and Nami. "where will you be when I am not here with Rin? Inside or outside the room?"

"outside, of course, to respect Rin-sama's privacy. This is the only door into your chambers, as you know." He hummed, asking several more questions, which the captain was able to answer to his complete satisfaction. He gave a very small bow.

"Rin," he called into the room, making her open the door she'd been listening at, waiting for him. "here, drink quickly and take the food with you. Mother will not be happy you are already behind schedule." Rin grumbled sullenly and downed her tea, taking the bundle of food off the tray and turning to the Captain. He bowed and led her off, one hand all the while wrapped around his short spear, alert for anything out of the ordinary.

After getting rid of the potentially tainted food, despite his hunger, he settled down to start straightening and putting on his clothing, wanting enough time once he was dressed to center himself for the ordeal to come. He had never been one to speak in formal settings and he positively loathed the court and its stuffy rules and ridiculous clothing. He would be very glad when this was all over and he could return to the manor. Truth be told, he was looking forward to being left alone just as much as his mate was. He tied on the heavy black coat and settled onto his cushion after fixing his mokomoko, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. In. and out again. In—

There was a short knock at the door and he let out his breath in an angry puff. "Enter or speak."

"Milord, it is nearly noon. Are you prepared?" it was the voice of the captain. Sesshomaru stiffened in surprise. There were no exterior windows in this room, both for privacy and protection, and without a timekeeping method he had no idea so much time had already passed. He also noticed there was only one person there, that being the captain. He instantly wound up on edge once more.

"I am. Where is Rin?"

"Rin-sama is with Gobodō-sama. They will meet you when the ceremony commences, as is tradition." Sesshomaru felt his shoulders relax slightly at the reassurance. He should have remembered they would meet at the ceremony; it was what they had rehearsed last night. His mother, both as the current holder of the rank he would soon ascend to, and in place of his father, would act as presenter and bodyguard for his darling Rin as he announced her and their soon-to-be heir to the waiting Daimyō.

Sesshomaru stood and slid his sword into his sash, taking one last steeling breath before striding out, heading for the throne room as a gong echoed through the halls of the palace, signaling the presentation ceremony was about to begin.

* * *

A/N: okay, I'll be honest, I thought I was going to get through a lot more here than I actually did, but I didn't want to rush anything. I promise I'm not deliberately dragging it out!

also, what happened to my awesome notification squad? I love reading all the reviews I get, but it seems like I barely get any now. I want to hear from my readers! even if you don't have an account you can review as a guest, I read every one of those too! many thanks to **mystlight, Kagomelove2** , and the guest contributor **Happytello98** for reviewing on the last few chapters! it really makes my day and inspires me to write to see I have people eager to read and give feedback!


	40. Chapter 40

A/N: wow! We've finally made it to a fairly major milestone: chapter 40! I can hardly believe I've managed to write a novel with the support of a few loyal readers!

To kagomelove2, I like to give the occasional enemy a chance to have redemption, if they aren't too evil. And I'm glad the pacing is working well for you! *smile*

And for guest reviewer Mayouu, the longer this fic runs, the more impressed I become at anyone who can devote the time and energy to read it in a single day! You go, you!

And thank you to my other reviewers (at time of writing) Happytello98, AthenaKnightstar and mystlight! You are all awesome! And many thanks to all my readers for being willing to put up with me, haha. Anyway, on now with our story.

* * *

Rin was fidgeting with the front of her kimono and her thin, soft mokomoko, terribly nervous. A pair of small and gentle hands closed over hers, stilling her anxious actions. Rin looked up to see the Lady Mother offer a tiny smile of reassurance and she sighed. The captain arrived as the deep gong echoed through the palace again, signaling noon, when the ceremony was to begin. Gobodō-sama, Rin's mother-in-law, patted her hands and stepped away for a few moments to see her son.

Sesshomaru turned at a light step behind him, seeing his mother admiring him once more in his formal dress. Seeming to consider something, she reached up and untied his hair from the high ponytail he had placed it in, braiding it loosely down his back instead before retying the end. "there, that suits you much better," she hummed thoughtfully.

"always so indecisive," he hummed in amusement as she patted the hair tie flat before letting it fall to his calves. He turned to face her and offered a small, genuine smile. "thank you, mother. For all of this."

She sighed and reached to pat his cheek as she had before. "you don't seem to realize just how long I've been waiting for this day. Now go on," she gave a chuckle and turned him about to face the entrance to the throne room, "they're all waiting for you. Go and make your entrance."

When he stepped into the large throne room, he saw that much had been done between the rehearsal of last night and the ceremony proper. A layer of delicate paper had been laid in a path up to the dais on which the throne itself sat, and dozens of curious faces—the seven Daimyō and their assorted minor nobles—sat on either side of the pathway, watching as he strode with confident grace up to the platform, turning about once he stood atop it. "I am Sesshomaru, Lord of the west, that is to say, Daimyō of the Tsuki clan and steward of the Nami lands, and Heir of all lands and the title of Taishōgun, as my mother and grandfather before me have ruled." No one spoke or moved, as his statement of heirship was a key part of the ceremony. He raised his right hand, palm up and arm outstretched as if to take the hand of another. "and now, my Lords and Ladies, I wish to present the grand jewel of this day, my one true mate, the Lady Rin, of the Yume Clan."

There were gasps and shocked murmurs from every side at his words, and more whispers and murmurs as Gobodō-sama appeared, one gentle hand at Rin's elbow to guide her. Rin kept her eyes firmly fixed on her mate, certain if she tried to look around she would simply bolt in terror at all the eyes on her in that moment. She reached the dais and Gobodō-sama boosted her up to stand beside Sesshomaru, pulling the girl's hands from her sleeves and placing one in his still outstretched palm. She couldn't help but smile as she felt his warm fingers close over hers, and he even offered the briefest of reassuring smiles to her before turning to look at the crowd expectantly. They should be cheering, crying blessings upon his mate and future heir, as the servants had last night. That was tradition. Instead, there were still low, confused, and shocked murmurs spreading among them. Someone from the back could keep their peace no longer.

"A trick! A trick! The Yume clan are extinct!"

Several people on the front line stood so they could turn to see who had spoken, and within seconds every yōkai in the room was on their feet, the murmuring growing louder. A second voice agreed with the first. "of course they are! Every child knows the histories! She is not even a yōkai, I bet, with her black hair and brown eyes like a _human_!"

"If she is an InuYōkai, then let her prove it!" called a third man through the ever-increasing volume of the crowd. All three of the hecklers were northerners, the first two from the Dō clan and the third from the Shiro-Yama. Sesshomaru clenched his teeth, fighting to keep a growl inside his chest at the insubordination displayed before him. His mother seemed completely unruffled, though properly it was her right or duty to quiet the clans. She wanted to see how her son would handle the situation, as he was likely to face many such once he assumed the throne.

He allowed a small growl to slip out to help quiet the crowd, then stated, "for Daimyō and respected Lords and Ladies, I expected you to follow tradition. Which, in this case, is silence and remaining seated."

"proof!" cried the first man. "we must have proof!" added the third. Others began to take up the chant. "proof! Proof! Show us she is who you say!" Rin, already on edge before this even began, had enough.

" **SILENCE!** "

Everyone froze and every eye turned to the small dark-haired young woman standing by the side of the Heir. For a few seconds no one even dared breathe, terrified of the natural authority she had just displayed. A few of the minor nobles even had weak knees, wanting nothing more than to roll over and bare their bellies and their throats to a woman who clearly possessed more power than they could ever dream of. Both Sesshomaru and his mother gave identical tiny smirks, proud of her. "you should be ashamed of yourselves," Rin continued in a low voice barely above a growl. "you can see with your own eyes I am a yōkai. What _proof_ could you possibly need?"

Everyone turned about to look at the small Shiro-Yama lord as he replied in a mild tone. "a form such as this is easily faked with magic. Any kitsune pup could do it. But a true form cannot be falsified. Show us that, and I believe we shall all be satisfied." There were some nods and murmurs of agreement, and Rin turned to Sesshomaru for guidance. What should she do?

Sesshomaru glanced to the side, measuring the dais with a few quick glances. He then, still grasping her hand, positioned her in the middle of the platform and stepped back, nodding that she should change, as they wished her to. Rin closed her eyes and bowed her head, and within a few moments she towered over them all, her head mere feet from the ceiling of the room. She lolled her tongue out proudly and stood tall, her long, fluffy tail swishing once. Everyone seemed awed at the sight of her. Only two or three in the room were old enough to remember the appearance of the Yume, and they knew she truly was one, however impossible it seemed to be.

Suddenly, a lesser noble—it was the same one who had spoken out first—began to laugh loudly. Both Rin and Sesshomaru turned sharply to look at him as he continued to guffaw in a very unpleasant way. "see," he told the other nobles, pointing at Rin on the dais, "See our Heir, who presumes to rule us—" he paused to laugh a little harder— "yet cannot find it in himself to bed his own woman!" Rin growled again, both offended by the insinuation and the base language the man was using. It was utterly vulgar in such a setting, not that it was ever much better no matter where you were. His pointing finger and his words drew the eyes of the others to Rin's stomach, which now appeared flat, as the layers and padding of her clothing had simply become extra-fluffy fur. Several of the others began to laugh, while others seemed confused and even outraged. Why had they travelled all this way to attend an unnecessary ceremony?

"excuse me?" Sesshomaru chose to step down from the dais and step through the crowd, which parted before him until he stood before the heckler. The light-brown-haired man straightened to his full height, a few centimeters shorter than Sesshomaru was. "you could have been honest with us, Sesshomaru-sama. There is certainly no shame in missing the season." The man smirked once more and added, "though perhaps someone should have reminded you that you are not to present your mate to the court until she is carrying an heir…"

It took every ounce of Sesshomaru's intense willpower not to send the man flying through the nearest wall at minimum. He could not hold back an offended growl. "She _is_ carrying an heir, else none of you would be here."

"my eyes deceive me, then, as well as my nose," he quipped, still seeming amused at the situation. Everyone turned as Rin set one massive paw down from the dais and shifted back to her human form, striding effortlessly through the crowd until she was standing before the man. With her outrage and roiling emotions, her scent was shockingly strong, and the scent of pregnancy was clear to everyone within almost 4 meters of her. "can you scent me now?" she asked him in a soft, icy tone, looking down her nose at the man, though he was taller.

The man looked frightened of her and bowed deeply in apology, stammering out that yes, he could indeed scent her and should not have doubted. She gave a sharp nod and took Sesshomaru's hand, returning to their original position on the dais. The moment they did, cheers erupted and cries of blessing could be heard from nearly every throat. Sesshomaru held Rin close to his side, looking satisfied at the deference of his subjects.

Now that the ceremony could be considered over, it was time for the feast, which would be in the dining hall. The Lords and Ladies all stood aside to let the couple, led by Gobodō-sama, pass first. Rin tugged at his hand eagerly, wanting to go as fast as she could. She was starving, as breakfast had been light and lunch delayed by her standards. When they settled at the table, Sesshomaru had to set a hand on her thigh to stop her from bouncing impatiently at the thought of the food she could smell from the nearby kitchens. Before the food could be served, each daimyō, beginning with the Nami and ending with the Kin-Yama, followed by each's lords and ladies, had to personally come and bow, pledging that they would be present at the ascension and would confirm Sesshomaru as Taishōgun and his child, male or female, as the next heir. Rin, by the time the last Kin-Yama noble bowed and intoned _the same damn thing over again,_ was fighting very hard not to growl loudly in impatience. She was fairly certain something slipped out, though, judging by the woman's slightly frightened face as she scurried away.

Rin ate voraciously once the food arrived and many of the women at the long banquet table looked at her indulgently. It was a very good thing to see the mother of the future heir so healthy and having such an appetite, they knew. When everyone was finished, many of the nobles left, though a few came to give more personal congratulations to the couple. Once they were gone, a familiar face appeared, and Rin smiled widely and warmly. "Chieko! How are you?"

The Nami midwife returned the warm smile, arm in arm with a very happy Ka man, both dressed in their best. "I'm doing very well, milady, and I can see you are as well. This is my mate," she said, nodding to the happy man who was actually shorter than she was, "and this is my replacement." Another Ka, this one a rather serious-faced woman, appeared from behind the happy couple. She had no cheek stripes of any kind, only a black teardrop shape on her forehead and bright orange hair, tied back at the nape of her neck.

The new woman bowed deeply to them. "I am Aki, the royal midwife. As my mother delivered Sesshomaru-sama, it is my duty to deliver your heir."


	41. Chapter 41

A/N: so apparently there's this thing called Inuvember in this fandom that no one thought to mention to me? ^-^ we'll have to fix this! I think in the next few chapters we should be meeting the Inutachi again!

Many thanks once more for my several reviewers! You guys have made the journey to forty chapters and beyond a happy one. And thank you, thank you, thank you to my readers, each and every one! I hope you continue to enjoy my story!

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Aki seemed like a very no-nonsense woman, very opposite to the cheerful and joking nature of Chieko. She seemed very proud of the title she held, and Rin could tell it was a very important and prestigious one. "I would like to begin with an examination of Rin-sama, if I may," she said with a small bow.

"Right now?" Rin asked, a bit sleepy now that she was stuffed full of good food. "can't we do this later, and in private?"

Chieko chuckled at her as she and her mate left with the rest of the people filing out of the massive banquet hall. Aki, though she seemed as though she might be amused at the thought, did not laugh and barely smiled. "of course it will be later, Rin-sama. And it will need to be thorough. Sesshomaru-sama, you will remain outside while I work."

At those words, Sesshomaru was instantly suspicious. He knew vaguely who Aki was, of course—she was two years younger than him, the daughter of Aika, who had cared for him in his very early years. And while he knew he should trust the midwife, he was very protective of Rin, and the incident that morning had only reinforced his need to be there and protect her. He asked in a restrained tone why he could not be there with her.

Aki sighed at his question, having expected it. "my exams focus on the pup's development, and can appear…invasive, to the untrained eye. This can make males uncomfortable, or overly protective, and both get in my way. So it is easier for you to remain outside. It will only take a short time, and does not need to be done too frequently."

Sesshomaru frowned softly, taking Rin's hand gently in his own. "I am not certain I am comfortable with this examination," he stated calmly.

"I assure you there is nothing to be worried about. I have centuries of training. I simply have to see how the pup is developing and that both they and milady are healthy. I also need to estimate when she will be due, since you missed the usual season." Aki was very confident in her statements, clearly very familiar with what she was talking about. He seemed unconvinced—stubborn males—and she sighed slightly in exasperation. "Gobodō-sama will overrule you if necessary."

"a bold thing indeed, for a servant to threaten her master," he noted in a surprisingly mild, cool tone. Aki simply nodded confidently. "you will find I have more authority than any common servant—and for very good reason." Rin knew she was right. A midwife could mean the difference between a safe birth and two fresh graves, sometimes. Seeing the women agreed with one another, he relented just as his mother strode over, greeting the orange-haired midwife warmly.

"are you prepared to deal with the kitchen servant from this morning?" she asked in a low tone, making sure no one was within hearing range. "you are no longer needed here. I can send the clans away." Sesshomaru rose to his feet gracefully, offering his hand and pulling Rin to her feet also, intending to take her to the room they were sharing, leaving the captain of the guard to protect her while he dealt with the young woman.

"Sesshomaru?" Rin tugged lightly at his sleeve as they walked down the empty hallway. "I want to see the person who tried to kill me. I want to see their face." He stopped short, surprised at her words and the sincerity behind them. After a moment, he began walking again, letting her into their room and helping her undress from the formal kimono and settle into something simpler and more comfortable before changing his own clothes. She caught his sleeve as he tried to leave her behind, having known he would. Rather than shaking her off as he wished to, he allowed her to take his hand as he strode to the dungeon, nodding to the guard as he allowed him down.

The area they referred to as a "dungeon" was far nicer than anything Rin might have pictured. There seemed to be several individual cells, and the whole thing was well lit and clean. Near the end of the little hallway, one cell was occupied, and Rin could already smell bandages and salve. As they reached the doorway of the little barred room, the young woman flinched at Sesshomaru's presence, covering her wounded arm with her good one and huddling in the corner in an attempt to protect herself.

"This is her, Rin. The one who poisoned your tea." Sesshomaru's voice was every bit as flat and cold as it had been years ago, when they'd just met. It was clear he had nothing but contempt for the girl. She stared at Rin as Rin stared back at her, shocked that she was so young and clearly scared. And—perhaps she was imagining it—her eyes seemed clear of any foul intent. Something told Rin the girl had not really wanted to harm her, at least not for any personal reason.

"Wh-wh-who are you?" the girl managed to stammer, still staring at Rin. Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed dangerously. "This," he said slowly and clearly, "is Rin. My mate." The girl's blue eyes widened in horror, as it was very clear that the black-haired young woman before her was more an InuYōkai than she was. She then bowed her head in horrified shame. "…I was lied to. They told me you had taken a human to mate."

Sesshomaru's eyes were already flinty with anger, and he immediately demanded "who? Who was it who told you that? You implied before that you acted alone. Are there more?" the girl cowered before his fury, stammering out what very little she knew and was willing to share while desperately trying not to start crying in terror.

"the Daimyō a-a-all thought you had t-taken a human as you-your mate, a-a-and they told us, the servants I mean, that if she m-m-met with an a-accident, that there, there wouldn't be another war. Nobody wants that." She had her eyes squeezed shut with the force of her attempt to not burst into tears, and didn't see his hand flash out, only felt herself suddenly pulled right off her feet, held by a fistful of the front of her kimono. She squealed in fright, grabbing his wrist tightly with her good hand, eyes wide in terror.

"I would rather die, than see my mate come to any harm," he informed her in a flat tone that proved how much restraint he was using in that moment. His blood was boiling and the outer corners of his eyes were faintly red with his fury. His very blood, as well as the law, demanded the life of this servant girl for her attempt of assassination and high treason. He wanted to kill her right that very second, but knew better. For one thing, she may have more information, and for another, there was the matter of propriety. She needed to be formally executed under the sun, preferably the dawn light, which would not come until tomorrow. In addition, he had to offer Rin the right to speak to the girl also and choose whether or not to spare her. Only Rin could ask for the life of the girl as payment for her crimes.

"please, Sesshomaru-sama! The poison I chose would not harm a yōkai in the slightest! Not even the tiniest unborn pup! I swear it!" her instincts screamed at her to struggle and kick, but she knew better than to move a muscle. It would only give him an excuse to kill her faster and probably a lot more painfully. She could not stop her tears any longer and they started to flow freely down her cheeks.

"You planned to kill her—my mate, the future mother of my heir—you intended her harm. Irregardless of what you used, your intentions were not pure." It was taking every last ounce of his enormous restraint to not simply kill the sniveling, cowardly young woman. "your actions are unforgivable, and you are sentenced with treason, which penalty is death." When the girl let out a sob, his eyes grew redder and he growled, "any last requests?"

He didn't even hear her whispered prayer that the kami would be merciful to her, as his attention suddenly shifted to the gentle hand on his arm. He looked to Rin as she stepped beside him and signaled him to wait. The girl opened her eyes again at the gentle woman's voice. "how old are you, girl? What is your name and job?"

"I-I-I'm a-a hundred and thirty five," she stammered out. "I work-I-I work in the kitchens…" Rin made another motion to Sesshomaru and he—with great reluctance—set her down again. "I'm Azumi," she finished in a tiny voice, hiding in the corner. Rin took his arm and pulled him outside the cell so they could talk in whispers.

"I don't want her to be killed, Sesshomaru. She's just a girl- you said once that 150 was considered an adult. That means she's even younger than me."

"Rin, she tried to kill you!" he hissed, the corners of his eyes growing red again. He reached out, gently touching Rin's cheek as she looked up at him with a soft frown.

"someone ordered her, for all we know, threatened her, so that she would do what she did, Sesshomaru. She clearly didn't want to. Does she seem like a murderer to you?" he looked back into the cell, seeing the young girl curled into a ball in the corner, sobbing with her hands over her face, shivering with terror. He let out a deep sigh and shook his head.

"fine. There is one thing you can do. If you ask for her life as a servant to you, as a debt for her crimes, then she does not need to die." Rin then turned to see the girl, azumi, and nodded softly, striding back in and startling her.

"Azumi," Rin addressed the terrified servant girl with a little of the authority she had shown earlier that day, "you committed treason in trying to take my life today. However, I don't believe you actually intended to harm me in any personal way. So, I am claiming your life as debt, on the condition that you tell us everything you know about those people who conspired against me, and bring me more intel. If you fail, or refuse, your life will be forfeit." Rin paused, meeting Azumi's eyes as the girl shivered worriedly, nodding quickly in agreement with the words. "if you succeed in giving us something valuable, as I expect you can, then you will simply serve me and the future Taishōgun until you come of age. Then, your life will be your own again." At Rin's last words, Azumi fell on her face, kowtowing with gratitude as she fully realized the unthinkable had happened, and she was being spared. She thanked the Yume Lady profusely, still crying, but this time in relief. Rin pulled Sesshomaru away after having the girl released, knowing that Aki, the midwife, must be waiting for them by now.

When they reached Sesshomaru's quarters, Aki was waiting by the door. She opened it and took Rin gently by the wrist, guiding her inside before putting a hand up to block the male as he tried to follow. " _you_ will remain outside, as I said before." When he gave a slight growl she commented "and that's why." To her credit, Aki was quick and well-practiced. She opened the door just a few minutes later and allowed Sesshomaru in. Rin was settled on a fluffy cushion in nothing but her juban, which she was just tying shut once more. "Rin-Sama is in perfect health, as is the pup. And so far as I can tell, she's about a month gone. That means she should whelp in june, probably before the monsoons come." Sesshomaru nodded at the information and Aki motioned him over after having Rin relax on her back on the futon. "lay your ear here," she instructed him, pointing to the lower part of Rin's stomach.

Sesshomaru wasn't sure why she wanted him to listen to Rin's bowels—maybe she had gas or something? But he did as he was told, closing his eyes and listening to his mate's steady, vital heartbeat. Then, under that, he noticed something else. A faster, much smaller rhythm right under his ear. An impossibly tiny heart, fluttering away like a bird in her belly. In her womb. His golden eyes flashed up to the midwife, who nodded at his wordless question. "you can hear the heartbeat now." In that moment, it suddenly struck him with great force that he was really going to be a father. He heard Rin gasp and closed his eyes contentedly again, staying like that for a few moments after the midwife grew impatient with him. When he finally sat up, she allowed them to ask any questions, and they both did.

"Kagome-sama said you don't get your blood anymore when you're pregnant," Rin noted. "is that still true?"

Aki nodded and offered a small smile. "yes. In fact, you will never bleed again. Yōkai women don't, unlike humans."

After quite a few more questions from both of them, Aki rose to leave, and Rin grabbed her sleeve, whispering one last question in her ear. The midwife laughed and Rin blushed brightly. "of course you can, Rin-sama. In fact, it can be beneficial for everyone involved. Don't worry, I get that question quite a lot from first-timers." She bustled off and Sesshomaru simply raised an eyebrow, wondering what Rin had asked about. It seemed she wasn't going to tell him now, though, as she had already rolled over, intending to take a nap before dinner.

After dinner and another visit from Gobodō-sama, congratulating both of them on how they had handled the ceremony, Rin especially, they were both exhausted and retired for the evening. It was sometime in the middle of the night, or perhaps very early in the morning, when something woke Rin. There were footsteps in the hallway, and she didn't recognize them. The single door to their room slid soundlessly open, and a shadowy, black-clad figure stepped silently in. Rin remained frozen in surprise and fear, praying it was just a dream. She could feel Sesshomaru's strong arms wrapped about her and his lean body pressed against hers, her back against his chest and the quilt over them both. She was definitely awake, and this must be real.

Then, Rin saw the knife.


	42. Chapter 42

A/N: it seems I may have to edit chapter 41 for clarity, as I have had 3 different reviews asking/begging for Rin's observation at the very end to be a dream or vision. I tried to make it clear that it was really happening…

Rest assured, dear readers, that this story is very far from over! It's simply a time of year that I have a lot to do aside from writing (unfortunately).

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It was sometime in the early hours of the morning when Sesshomaru stirred. His instincts, fine-tuned from centuries of dealing with enemies of every kind, told him that both he and Rin were in danger. He deliberately kept his body relaxed and his breathing slow and even as though he were still asleep, listening and peeking his eyes open in the darkness. What he saw made his heart skip a beat in surprise.

Standing over his bed, above both he and his beloved, stood a thin figure clad in black and masked, holding a large knife. The figure slowly edged closer, clearly trying not to wake them and unaware that they already were. As he approached, Rin could keep still no longer and cringed back into Sesshomaru, making the figure freeze and raise the knife high, ready to plunge it into his victims—

Sesshomaru had knocked the figure to the floor the next moment, leaping over Rin and trying to subdue them, snarling loudly, intending to rouse and alert the guards. Rin jumped up just moments later, running to their collection of items and clothing they had brought from home, pulling out her dagger and quickly unsheathing it, throwing the scabbard back on the pile and gripping the blade with both hands in front of her. The two males—it was now obvious by the snarling and the lean shape of the intruder that they were a man—were rolling about on the floor, both trying to get the upper hand in the grappling. The intruder was trying to stab Sesshomaru with the knife, and he was trying to claw the attacker. Sesshomaru managed to get the man to roll to the side and kicked him off into the wall. To his dismay, the man immediately lost interest in him and bolted straight for Rin. He managed to get between them and throw the man back into the wall, earning himself a stab in the chest for his trouble. They fought for a few more moments, Sesshomaru quickly gaining the upper hand despite being clearly injured. He managed to pin the man down and yelled "now, Rin!"

Rin, though she was shaking, did what she knew he needed, and darted forward, impaling the dagger in the floor, right through the heart of their attacker. The man jerked once and died, managing to scratch Rin's wrist with the knife at the last moment. She released her blade, backing up and staring in horror, starting to shake. She didn't have time to process what had happened before several guards rushed in, two carrying torches.

"Rin, are you hurt?" Sesshomaru asked, stepping over to her in great concern, as he could scent her blood.

"no," she answered, unable to yet feel the scratch with her heart pounding its way free of her ribs. "you are, though—your chest is bleeding!" certainly she had seen him far more injured than this, but she hated it. With humans, sometimes the seemingly slight injuries turned out to be the most deadly. Why wouldn't it be the same with yōkai?

"I will be fine," he reassured her quickly as one of the guards hurried out to fetch a healer. "are you certain you aren't hurt?" he knew the scent of her blood well, and he knew he could smell it. She shook her head, but when she reached to take his hands for comfort, she winced, finally finding the scratch on her wrist. "ah!"

He quickly took her arm gently so he could see the wound. "only a scratch," he sighed in relief. He was a bit surprised it hadn't already healed. When she winced again and whined that it hurt, he looked closer, frowning. It shouldn't hurt, and it should have healed. Not only was it not disappearing, it almost seemed to be growing and turning red, growing hot, as if it were poisoned.

The healer arrived and went straight to Rin, having a look at the wound. He nodded to himself. "it is poisoned. Milord, please hold her still so that I can remove the affected flesh."

"what?! Remove?!" Rin demanded shrilly as Sesshomaru wrapped her in his arms. "it's all right, you'll heal in a few minutes, or an hour or two at most. Don't look." He let her hide her face in his shoulder and bite him to stifle a scream as the healer used a tiny, sharp knife to cut away the poisoned wound. It dissolved in mere seconds with an acrid scent like acid, and he bandaged the new, clean wound for her.

"Sesshomaru-sama, I must be certain that the poison did not affect you. You know you aren't immune to _all_ poisons." He nodded, gently shifting Rin to one side in his arms so he could still hold her close while allowing the healer access to the wound on his chest. The healer checked, and was satisfied that he was clearly already healed and showing none of the symptoms that Rin had. "if either of you have any new symptoms, please fetch me at once," he said curtly, and was dismissed with a small nod from Sesshomaru.

When Rin finally looked up from being curled into her beloved's chest, her eyes immediately fell on the intruder, still impaled through the heart with Rin's dagger, stuck to the floor. She started to shake, and Sesshomaru took her to a new room, letting her go for a moment so he could light some lamps and dispel the darkness. Rin sat heavily on a cushion, still trembling. "I…I killed someone…" she whispered in nearly mute horror. "not a bunny; not prey; but a person!" she began to cry, covering her face in horror. She had vowed to herself long ago that she would not kill anyone, even when people were trying to kill her. She had reaffirmed that when she became a hanyō, and nothing had changed when she became a full InuYōkai. But now, Rin had blood on her hands. Perhaps not literally, but she felt awful and unclean.

Sesshomaru was by her side before she could even finish her sentence, pulling her back into his embrace in the now well-lit room. "hush, hush. It's going to be all right." He rocked slightly from side to side and petted her hair, knowing she liked that. "a first kill is never easy, whether in self-defense or for any other reason. But it is over now, and you are safe. That is all you need to care about, right now."

Rin was barely starting to calm down, her tears slowing, when she heard frantic footsteps in the hall and let out a squeal, flinching into Sesshomaru's chest, as the door slammed open, probably damaging it. Gobodō-sama stood in the doorway, only her wide eyes really revealing how alarmed she was at the news of an attacker. "what happened?" she demanded sharply. "are you safe?"

Rin took deep, shaky breaths to calm her racing heart as Sesshomaru related the last few minutes' events to his mother. "who was this attacker? Where were they from? Do you know?" she demanded, wanting every detail he could recall.

"I do not. But I know their target was Rin. The moment I thrust the attacker away, he lost all interest in attacking me and tried to jump straight for Rin instead. And the knife was poisoned—a foolish thing if intended for me, but wise if intended for my mate." Rin shivered and he petted her hair again, trying to comfort her.

"where are they now? Did you apprehend them?" Rin covered her ears as the questions made her remember the dagger's handle, protruding from the center of the man's chest. "he's dead…" she managed to choke out to her mother-in-law.

Rin was surprised to feel delicate fingers under her chin, turning her face and tilting it up towards the dainty white-haired woman who was bent over her. "I am proud of you, my daughter," she said in a surprisingly gentle tone. "never regret defending yourself, your children," she looked to her son, "or your mate." Rin glanced to him, seeing him nod in firm agreement. "you acted only in self-defense, as you should have. It is nothing to worry over."

Rin felt a few more tears leak down her cheeks as a fresh wave of horror washed through her. "someone's still dead because of me," she mumbled, wiping at her eyes. Gobodō-sama scoffed and let her go, straightening abruptly.

"better him than you!" she turned for the door, letting out a small _tsk_ sound at the broken frame she had caused. "well, I had better go and see who that was, before they're buried. I will leave guards here for you. Try to rest. At dawn, we will hold a private council."

While Rin did manage to sleep fitfully due to her exhaustion, Sesshomaru remained awake until dawn, sitting up, alert and vigilant, with his arms wrapped securely around his young mate. When the sun first lightened the winter horizon, a trusted servant came to fetch them, taking them aside for a few moments so they could splash some water on their faces and change their clothes. The sun was only a dome of deep red when Sesshomaru and Rin entered the council room, where Gobodō-sama and Taro, the captain of the palace guard, were already waiting. Rin spotted the food between them and served herself, starting to eat eagerly as she listened to the others begin.

Sesshomaru spoke up first, addressing the captain. "what do we know about this attack?"

Taro bowed slightly to his superior. "the attacker appeared to be a member of the Dō clan, probably of the lowest class. Certainly no one of rank. And the knife you reported to be poisoned was coated in _nise no tsuki_." At Rin's questioning look, albeit with a mouthful of noodles, he added, "a specialized poison created to mimic the powerful natural poison of the Tsuki clan."

Sesshomaru frowned deeply at the information. "I do not understand. After proving Rin to be an InuYōkai of pure blood, why would they seek to hurt her?"

Gobodō-sama shook her white-haired head, dainty brows furrowed just like her son. "there are many answers to that, and unfortunately we cannot ask the attacker," she stated. "it is possible that, as a low level member of the clan, he did not know. Only the lords and ladies who attended saw the truth. Or," she paused, meeting his eyes, "it could have been an assassination attempt, plain and simple."

The Captain sat up a little straighter to interject. "what troubles me most, My Lord and ladies, is the choice of poison. Nise no Tsuki is powerful to say the least, and once it is in a wound it is impossible to distinguish from your own natural poison. It makes me concerned…perhaps they were trying to frame one of you."

This thought had not occurred to either Sesshomaru or Gobodō-sama. They looked from the captain to one another again. "why…would they want to frame one of us?" Sesshomaru asked in a soft, dangerous tone, his eyes revealing a fraction of the anger he felt at the thought.

Rin had finished eating by this time and set down her empty bowl in the moment of silence after her mate's words. "maybe they knew that your mother didn't like me?" she suggested. "if they made you think she had killed me, what would happen?"

"you would be honor-bound to kill me," the woman said slowly, realization in her eyes. "and with no heir and no one on the throne, it would be all too easy to take control."

"I don't like this," Sesshomaru growled, unconsciously shifting closer to Rin in order to protect her.

"No. Nor do I. Someone has spent centuries planning this. It is not the product of one or even many idle minds."

"Who?" he immediately asked, leaning forward. "I didn't think we had such enemies." _At least, I thought I had killed them all long ago…_

"Then you are a fool, my son. Every leader has such enemies, waiting for the chance to strike in some fashion." She frowned deeply, looking down at the table between them for a moment. "yet, I myself did not know of such deep treachery."

"it could only have come from within—from the packs themselves," the Captain added. "I believe the Dō have been the most suspicious of late."

"we don't want to start throwing accusations just yet, Captain Taro," Gobodō-sama said sharply, cutting off any further words from him. "though I might tend to agree with you, what we need now are facts—and protection for the current and future heirs."

"I just want to go home…" Rin sighed, leaning against her mate's fluff, still exhausted from the long night.

"it may not be safe for you to go home," the Captain objected quickly. "is there anywhere else you can stay safely while I send some of my men to check the manor's servants?"

"the only other safe place is here…" Sesshomaru said, the frown never having left his face. He did not like the thought of sacrificing Rin's safety for the sake of her comfort. He wanted her to be comfortable as well as safe, naturally, but this had suddenly become an either/or situation.

"perhaps not," Gobodō-sama noted, sitting up a little and speaking to her son. "I know you don't get along, Sesshomaru, but no one would expect you to go to your brother for help."

"there is a good reason for that," he replied coolly, a little surprised she would even think to suggest such a thing. Even having been allies in the past, enough that he had entrusted Rin to them so she could learn to be human and have better than his poor care as she grew, he still greatly disliked his brother and the company he kept. The last possible person on the list of people he trusted. Still, he was on the list, if only barely, and Rin had been safe, happy, and well-cared-for while in his village. "he would not understand the situation, nor appreciate the dangers."

"then don't tell him," she scoffed, waving a dismissive hand. "it isn't as if he needs to know, is it?"

"I cannot simply appear and request shelter," he stated. "the feelings between us are mutual, I assure you."

"well…I could," Rin said, sitting back upright and looking at him. "he wouldn't say no to me, even if he wanted to, or Kagome-sama would flatten him." She let out a tiny giggle at the memories of him crashing face-first to the dirt for some mistake or other that angered the priestess.

As Sesshomaru opened his mouth to protest again, Gobodō-sama spoke over him. "it's settled, then. You need to leave as soon as possible. It is a full day's journey if you run in true form—I will make sure no one sees you leave. You should arrive by nightfall, with any luck." They stood to prepare and she noted, "it's safest not to travel on the dark of the moon."

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A/N: well, this took forever! A four-person dialogue is challenging, but really this mostly took so long because I've been on vacation from full-time work and finals week, and today is my last day here in the sunny south of the USA. I spent way too much money in epcot. *shrug* with any luck, everything from here to new years' will be clear, and I might even be able to get out something for Christmas! :)


	43. Chapter 43

A/N: Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all! What you've been waiting almost 30 chapters for: more Inufamily!

* * *

InuYasha leaned against the wall inside Kaede's small hut, staring into the dying embers of the cookfire. Kagome was sleeping beside him, and ordinarily he would have joined her, but not tonight. Even after several years of peace, he couldn't bring himself to relax enough to sleep on nights like this. He glanced over to his wife's peacefully slumbering form and let a soft smile curve his lips. He gently reached over and ran gentle fingers through her hair, sighing quietly. He pulled his hand back in surprise as Kagome suddenly sat bolt upright, looking frantic.

"kagome! I didn't wake you, did I? I didn't mean-"

"something's coming," she said, cutting him off. "there are yōkai near the village."

"what? Now?" he asked in alarm, sitting up straight beside her. "how close?"

"they're coming this way," she said, getting to her feet and reaching for her bow and arrows near the door.

"you stay here, I can—" she cut her husband off again. "NO! not tonight. Stay here with them, I can grab sango and miroku."

"but Kagome!" he caught her shoulder gently as she started to step outside into the snow. "please. Stay. I can still fight, you know that." She shook her head and brushed off his hand.

"exactly why I want you here, to protect the village…just in case."

* * *

Rin and Sesshomaru wound up taking a bit more of a circuitous route to the village, and because of the short winter day, it was after sundown before they neared their goal. Rin admired the stars as they trotted through the snow, noting that there was no moon.

Rin bumped into him as he stopped. _We should proceed in human form from here,_ he told her, shifting back to encourage her to do the same. She took his hand and kept walking, seeing the well in the clearing. As they passed by it, a flash of red and silver darted in front of Rin, disappearing into the trees before she could get a good look. Sesshomaru held her hand tightly, preventing her from following it.

"did you see that?" she asked, staring after the point where the blur had vanished once more into the forest in front of them. Sesshomaru was more concerned with the running feet he could hear coming from the village—apparently they were already aware of their arrival. He let Rin's hand go to put his hand on his sword instead, preparing to draw it and defend her should that become necessary.

"stay close to me, Rin," he instructed her, glancing to where she had been to see she was already gone, following the mysterious blur from earlier. He let out a frustrated growl and followed her footprints into the forest, quickly losing everything but her scent. She was moving somewhat away from the village and the people coming from it, while they were coming straight for them as if someone was able to track them. He was willing to bet it was the miko.

He growled as he tried to follow Rin before they got too badly separated, when he suddenly heard the hum of an arrow through the trees, aimed for his head. He caught the shaft between his fingers, discarding it quickly before the miko's power affected him, and followed the arrow's flight out of the forest. A single shaft like that could easily kill Rin! He came out from the trees, unsurprised to find that Miko, Kagome, along with the formerly lecherous monk, Miroku, and the yōkai taiji-ya, Sango. All three looked very ready for a fight until they saw him.

"Sesshomaru! Onii-san!" kagome quickly lowered her bow, blushing brightly. She knew full well she had nearly skewered him. "I didn't know you were coming!"

"Nor I, until this morning." He still greatly disliked being reminded of having a human for a sister-in-law, and a Miko at that.

"Kagome-sama, didn't you say there were two yōkai nearby?" Miroku asked, his staff still at the ready.

"there are," Sesshomaru assured the monk. "Rin seems to have become sidetracked. I was following her before you attempted to skewer me."

"I…do apologize…" kagome murmured, still bright red.

Elsewhere, still in the forest, Rin finally managed to track down the little red and silver imp. It stopped at the root of what Rin recognized as the Goshinboku, or God Tree, and turned to look at her. It seemed to be a pup—a tiny version of InuYasha, perhaps two feet high and two years old, with only one of the little triangular ears standing up while the other stayed folded. He was dressed all in red too, adding to the appearance. Rin squealed in delight and held her arms out for the tot, trying to encourage him to let her pick him up. He wandered over and held his arms up to her. Just as she put the child on her hip, a growling voice suddenly sounded nearby.

"Let him go."

Rin jumped in fright, gasping and turning to face a black-haired man who was glaring at her. He seemed to be wearing shrine attendant's robes, with deep blue hakama and a white kosode without any kind of jacket. Well, he had probably been asleep. He was snarling and holding an old and poorly-kept katana in his hands, the blade chipped and the handle ratty. Rin knew her beloved would never deign to use something so poorly taken care of. She felt as if she should recognize this man—after all, he was from the village, obviously, and his voice was very familiar indeed—but she just couldn't place it. And he smelled just like any other man in the village. "Let. Him. Go. NOW." He growled, his grip on the katana tightening.

She gently allowed the tot back on his feet on the forest floor. As he scampered over to the stranger, climbing his leg, Rin spoke. "who are you? Have we met?"

"I should be asking you that. Yōkai aren't welcome in this village without an invitation, and I know full well I didn't give one."

"well…I—" she began to explain when a short noise only she could hear sounded. She turned immediately toward the sound and moved off at a run, seeming to the stranger to vanish into the darkness.

"hey! Wait! Kagome, watch out!" the man yelled, hoping to be able to warn the Miko before the Yōkai arrived.

Rin stopped beside Sesshomaru and quickly hid behind him at the sight of three armed people prepared to harm her. He held his arm halfway out to the side to cover her as she nestled into his moko, peeking out just enough to see. The strange man came crashing out through the brush a few seconds later, cursing as a branch caught his face.

"good. We are all here." Sesshomaru of course was able to recognize his little brother, and supposed the child now tucked in one arm, clinging to his torso, was his nephew.

"Sesshomaru! What are you doing here?" InuYasha demanded, scowling. _And why, of all days, did you choose TONIGHT to show up?!_

"Rin wanted to visit you, and we underestimated how long it would take to travel from my mother's palace." Rin was surprised at how calmly Sesshomaru could lie. Or, she supposed he probably just viewed it as telling only part of the truth. "we wish to request accommodation for this evening, and perhaps tomorrow as well."

InuYasha narrowed his eyes at his brother. "don't lie. You'd never just show up in the middle of the night for a social visit. Hell, you wouldn't show up at all."

Rin had to admit that InuYasha was absolutely right about that, of course, and the last few years proved it. Once Rin no longer lived in his village, Sesshomaru had stopped visiting it altogether. The white-haired man nodded, acknowledging the truth of the statement.

"very well. We need a place to hide."

"hide from what?" InuYasha's thick black brows furrowed more deeply over his brown eyes in suspicion.

"there are threats against our lives, both my own and Rin's as well. No one would expect us to come here, so it is more likely to be safe than any other location."

"well you're not hiding here," he said firmly, sticking Tessaiga in the ground in front of him. "get lost, Sesshomaru. And I don't know who that woman with you is, but the last time I saw Rin she'd been turned like me somehow and you'd thrown her out on her ass!"

Sesshomaru could not hold back the quiet growl his little brother's words produced. "foolish little brother," he muttered darkly. "this is the same Rin you speak of. Her transformation is a story for another time." He paused before stating "an assassin tried to take her life, and mine, just last night. I would not be here if I saw another option." He noted the miko and the taiji-ya gasp softly in concern. Perhaps the women would turn the tide in his favor and overrule his annoyance of an otouto.

InuYasha gritted his teeth. "I still don't want you here." Rin began to feel more bold and stepped out from behind Sesshomaru into the light of the small paper lamp Miroku had thought to bring along in the deep darkness of the moonless night. Though she had obviously changed out of her formal attire, she had chosen to keep the softer, thinner sash that tied higher up, which served to make her condition apparent. Seeing this, kagome rounded on her husband. "InuyASHA-!"

He took two steps back from her, holding out his free hand defensively. "wait, wait! I'm holding the—huh?" he looked down at the arm that had been holding his young son, finding only his outer jacket. He then looked up and almost jumped forward in alarm to see the tot standing before Sesshomaru, staring up curiously at him, pudgy hands raised over his head, grasping. Sesshomaru was staring back at the tot, unsure quite what to do with him. Finally, after only a miniscule hesitation, he lifted the tot from under the arms, holding him up for a better look.

"I take it you are my nephew?" he addressed the silver-haired toddler, who reached out to touch his cheek stripes. "pretty…" the little one mumbled in fascination.

"put him down!" InuYasha spat, a note of concern clear in his voice.

"it's all right, InuYasha. He's not going to hurt him." Kagome was far more confident than her husband seemed to be, but she was also right. Sesshomaru settled the boy on his hip and played with his ears a little.

"It seems he takes more after his mother," Sesshomaru noted teasingly. The boy was obviously the spitting image of his father, identical in nearly every detail except eye color. He giggled as his ears were petted, squirming.

"you should see his little brother if you think that," InuYasha grumbled, picking Tessaiga back out of the ground again. "all right, fine. There's a hut on the south end of town, the last one on the last row. You can use it. We're staying at Kaede's for now anyway."

Sesshomaru nodded curtly, setting the toddler down again and watching him run up to the miko and demand to be picked up once more as the four humans moved off, back to their own houses. The women conferred about meetings tomorrow, but Sesshomaru wasn't much listening until Rin took his hand and began to lead him, apparently knowing the way. "I had no idea I was an aunt!" she said cheerfully. "he's so cute!"

He nodded slightly. "I had no idea I was an uncle."

"maybe you two should talk more?" Rin teased, smiling as they reached the hut, which was full of the scent of his otouto and the miko, as well as two small children. This must be their personal house, then. Rin found and lit a lamp, then settled into bed, yawning in exhaustion. Despite knowing his brother would be next to useless should someone follow them, Sesshomaru could not keep his eyes open after he sat on the futon. The past two days had just been so…draining…

The morning sun streamed through the window when Sesshomaru became aware of their visitor.

* * *

A/N: well, I left the note at the top alone so you could see how long I've been trying to work on this! Writer's block is annoying, and I finally broke through it. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I promise I put a lot of effort into it!


	44. Chapter 44

A/N: Today is a great day for writing! But unfortunately, the site seems to be glitching for me, so I can't upload anything. Here's hoping that's fixed soon…

Update: the outage only lasted a day! If you haven't seen it yet, check out the new InuYasha Shorts collection!

* * *

Rin woke shortly after dawn with something small and warm nestled into her arms and snuggled into her thin band of fluff. She supposed at first she was still dreaming…whatever her dream had been about, it had been a good one. The thing in her arms squirmed a little, yawning softly, and she sat up and shifted her arms to get a better look at it. A little two-year-old human boy was snoozing softly in her embrace.

"…good morning?" she mumbled softly in confusion, sniffing the tot to be sure it was her nephew. Just like his father had last night, he seemed to have turned human. While he had looked just like his father last night, he now looked remarkably like kagome. Well, maybe it was just the hair that caused the effect, Rin supposed. She glanced to Sesshomaru as he stirred, opening his eyes at the sound of her voice and sitting up.

"what is that?" he asked, unable to see what she had in her arms.

"have a look," Rin hummed, turning toward her mate and showing the sleeping toddler. "he must have sleepwalked in sometime last night, or something. I only noticed him when I woke."

Sesshomaru blinked somewhat blankly at the little human boy, who yawned and stirred, finally waking and looking up at him. The next instant, the toddler's face broke into a wide smile.

"morning!" he piped, sitting up as Rin set him in her lap. She supposed the boy was a little older than two and wasn't surprised to find he talked. "auntie! Uncle!" he cheered, hugging Rin, mostly because she was closer, and nuzzling her soft black fluff. "soft…"

"perhaps he returned merely for your moko," Sesshomaru joked, sitting upright beside her at last, watching the little boy nuzzle her happily. Rin giggled and detached him again, sitting him in her lap.

"where's your mama, little one?" she asked, concerned that Kagome might not know where her child was. In fact, maybe he had a bit of a penchant for running away, since he had certainly been far from his parents when she met him last night. The boy had gotten distracted already by Sesshomaru's mass of fluff and climbed into his lap to hug it. She asked again and he looked back at her.

"at grandma's, with papa and little brother," he informed her. He nuzzled the mass of white fur and added, "little brother cries a lot. So I go."

"how old is he? Can he walk, like you?" Sesshomaru asked, honestly a little curious about his nephews. After all, he hadn't known of their existence until just last night. The boy shook his head quickly.

"he's little. No walk. He cries a lot. And stinks. He's two moons. But I'm 2 YEARS!" he said, proudly holding up two stubby little fingers at the end, smiling.

"two moons, you say?" he said, watching the tot continue to pet and nuzzle his mokomoko. "of course he cries a lot; it's the only way he can communicate, to get food or clean garments."

"he needs to talk less." Rin let out a giggle at the tot's matter-of-fact statement. "mama says his ears hurt."

Sesshomaru nodded thoughtfully and carefully pet the child on the head. "I can see why you would want to avoid that and come here instead."

"yeah…" the boy mumbled, looking up at his uncle. "I don't like being a big brother."

Sesshomaru let out a grunt, looking away a little. "Believe me, young one, neither do I."

"Don't encourage him!" Rin scolded her mate as the boys shared their moment of commiseration. "I'm sure things will get better, and you'll get along better with him in no time, little one." The boy pouted a little at her words, shaking his head firmly. Rin growled and the tot suddenly dove out of Sesshomaru's lap as fast as he could, then looked up after a couple seconds, seeming confused.

"no sit?" he mumbled, sitting back up again, head slightly tilted to one side in curiosity. "why no sit?"

Rin started to laugh and Sesshomaru had to hide a smirk as both realized that the poor toddler had been conditioned to jump out of his father's lap to avoid being squished when his mother 'sat' his father. The boy blushed a little and cautiously climbed back into his uncle's lap, once more reaching for the fluff.

"your father and I aren't the best example of what siblings should be like," the yōkai told the tot, removing the thick band of fur and placing it on the futon, watching him squeal with delight and burrow into it. Rin sighed, looking up from the happy child to her mate.

"I have a question for you."

"yes?" the child popped up between them with a happy giggle, then disappeared again.

"why do you really hate InuYasha?" she asked softly. "it isn't just because he's not a Yōkai, or you'd hate him, too," she gestured to the happy tot, "and you don't."

Sesshomaru looked away from Rin again, letting out a soft but very deep sigh and reaching to gently pet the child's head as he popped up again. "it is because…he caused our father to die…" he admitted softly, his voice barely above an ashamed murmur.

Rin didn't respond immediately, and he looked back at her to see her face set in a mask of shock and some horror at his words. "you can't…you don't mean he… _killed_ him…do you?" she asked, barely above a whisper, becoming painfully aware of the innocent child between them.

The white-haired man gently shook his head. "no, of course not. He was but a newborn pup. But, had father never met that human woman, and never conceived InuYasha, I do not doubt he may still be alive to this day."

Rin looked at her mate, not knowing this part of the history at all. "Wait… how?"

He gave an exasperated sigh, knowing the child between them may somewhat understand the story. "Well, it's sort of difficult to explain without context." He sat up straighter, a small frown on his serious face. As he opened his mouth to try and explain, the door curtain was shoved aside and InuYasha himself stepped in.

"there you are! Go on, get; your mother's looking for you too." He shooed the tot out to go find kagome, then sat down beside Rin, facing his older brother.

"Is there something you wish of me?" Sesshomaru asked, raising his eyebrows at his frowning little brother.

"Yeah. I wanna know what's so scary out there that it sent my big scary older brother running to me with his tail between his legs."

Sesshomaru gave his insolent younger brother a glare, but otherwise let the comment pass. "fear of losing the one he cares for," he admitted softly. "the situation in which we found ourselves called for Rin to be safe, but not comfortable. I wished her to have both, and I know she is comfortable here, and no one would expect me to come here for aid."

"all right…but why not just deal with the threat yourself? You've never been one to hide when you could fight." None of this made much sense to the hanyō man.

"it wasn't a matter of fighting—at least, not yet. There could be hundreds of them, and there are only two in my pack. A war is the last thing we need now."

"a WAR?!" InuYasha blurted in alarm, sitting straighter. "What've you done, Sesshomaru?!"

"And why do you always assume I did something?" the white-haired man asked in a calm tone. "I was to present a mate to the clans, and I did so. They doubted her at the ceremony, and she proved beyond doubt she was indeed from a full demon bloodline."

InuYasha's nose twitched curiously in Rin's direction, who had remained silent, listening to the men bicker in case she needed to step in and separate them. "how'd you do it?" he asked curiously. "oh, and congrats, I guess. When's the little brat due?"

It was Rin's turn to bristle at the hanyō's coarse speech. "a spell," Sesshomaru replied coldly, also affronted. "and, as I have not insulted your offspring, I suggest you not insult mine."

"whatever," he shrugged. "my kid's a brat. You'll see once they start crawling."

"are we done here?" Sesshomaru asked, narrowing his eyes at his little brother.

"No. I want your word my family is safe. You aren't dragging me or any of us into this."

"you have my word, InuYasha. You have no part in this at all, save the location we hide in until we know it is safe for us again, and the assassins are caught." InuYasha nodded seriously, accepting the words and standing.

"oh, Rin, kagome wants to see you once you're free. I think she just wanted to catch up." Rin nodded and he quickly left.

Rin turned to her beloved. "you know, I'll never understand how kagome-sama fell for a man like him. They're so different…"

Sesshomaru offered a faint smile. "much as we are. I am sure there are many who don't understand how we are together also." Rin nodded and offered him a kiss, then got to her feet along with him. "I think I'll go for a walk around the village first, to see what's changed, then I'll go see Kagome. Do you want to join me?" the man shook his head, looking out and saying he would scout the perimeter of the village, to make certain they had not been followed or tracked.

Rin walked into the center of town, not surprised to see hardly anything had changed but the age of the people. She looked around for Sango's twin girls and little boy, not sure how big they would be now. People were much more wary of them than they had been, but a few soon recognized her and were more friendly.

Suddenly, Rin was covered in a cloud of colorful chalk powder and squealed in fright, unable to see.

"Ha! We got you, Yōkai lady! Surrender!" called a loud voice through the thick cloud. Rin lashed out blindly in fright, managing to grab her two attackers, snarling.

Sesshomaru, having heard the shriek of fright, arrived just seconds later to find Rin covered in chalk dust and holding two little girls by the obi of their kimono, one in each hand. "Rin. It's all right. Put them down."

"Help!" "she's gonna eat us!" squealed the twins before Rin set them back on their feet, calming down.

"Do you think it wise," he asked the girls, "to sneak up to an unfamiliar yōkai and attack them, even in training?" they quickly shook their heads and hurried off, apologizing as they went.

Sesshomaru gave Rin a gentle, brief hug, to calm her slight trembling. "I thought they were going to kill me…" she murmured, ashamed. "I'm so afraid someone else is going to try to take my life."

"it is all right. Go and see Kagome. I will be nearby. No one will harm you, I swear it." He stepped away and went back to his patrol as she stepped into kaede's hut, smiling to see Kagome with both her little sons, a sleeping infant and a squirming toddler trying to escape his mother's arms.

"you know better than to run away today!" she was scolding him.

"I safe! No one will hurt me."

"you're my baby. It's my job to worry about you, hajime."

"you have baby! I big." He finally managed to squirm out of her arms and jumped in Rin's lap as she sat down, snuggling her fur again.

"I had no idea I had nephews, Kagome. Your sons are adorable!" Rin said, gently hugging the tot before he decided to go somewhere else. He stopped and turned back as a thought occurred to him.

"auntie smell like mama," he observed, tilting his head to one side. "…cousin? Baby?"

Rin broke into a wide grin and nodded. "that's right. I will have a baby, but not for a little while. June, they said." The tot went from overjoyed to pouting. He wanted new friends to play with now! Both women giggled at his face before he sat down to play with a toy on the nearby futon.

"a lot's changed since we saw each other last, hasn't it, Rin?" Kagome noted, picking up her baby as he woke and started to fuss.

"oh, yes, I suppose a lot has." Rin bit her lip, unsure where to begin or how much to tell the miko who had helped to raise her for the few years she had lived in the village.

"well…I notice you aren't a hanyō anymore. How did that happen?" she prompted, letting her cranky son nurse as she listened to the yōkai woman.

"oh…well, when I left you that day, I was trying to get back to him, but I couldn't find my way. I wound up wandering for a few days until I turned human, like InuYasha does." Kagome nodded, listening closely. "when I turned back the next morning, I ran away from him in shame, even though he wanted me to stay. I met a man who seemed nice and took me in, but really he was the one who cursed me." Kagome gasped at Rin's words in dismay. "it's okay, though—Sesshomaru found me, like always, and he saved me. When he killed the man, the curse broke. He admitted how he really felt about me, and we became mates pretty soon after."

Kagome nodded again and smiled. "so how did you become a yōkai, then? That can't have been easy. In fact, I didn't think it was really possible, not for someone like you." Naraku had been a human, but he had also been extremely evil, and Rin was nothing of the sort.

"well, first, Sesshomaru's mother invited us to her palace after we became mates. She wanted to meet me. We didn't know then that I was pregnant yet. She got really upset, because since he's the heir, he has to have a child that can become the heir for him, and a hanyō can't inherit by their law, I guess." She sighed and looked down, remembering how stressful that had been. "she was so angry, but he didn't care. He was willing to give up the throne for me."

Kagome looked shocked at that. As far as she had known the stoic InuYōkai, he had only ever been interested in power, and being the ruler of his people would surely be something he would have quite an interest in.

The women looked up as the door curtain was pushed aside and Sesshomaru himself stepped in. "Rin, come. We need to leave."

"now?" she said, frowning in worry. "but why?"

"there is a yōkai on the main road who is asking for us. Though they don't know we are here, it is too much risk. There is one more place we may go for refuge, but we cannot risk staying here another moment." He took Rin's hand to help her to her feet, frowning to hear her stomach growl. They hadn't adequately eaten yesterday, and there was no time now. At a glance, the miko quickly packed up some leftover stew and rice from last night's dinner as well as some of the leftover breakfast food, bundling it up for Rin.

"it was good to see you, Rin. Be safe, and visit again soon when you can, okay?"

* * *

A/N: finally finished 29/03. If I can get 45 and 46 done within a week, they will be published together.


	45. Chapter 45

Sessh Rin fic 45

A/N: with any luck, this should be part of a(n apologetic) chapter bomb, with chapters 44 and 46. But hey, the life of a cosplayer and college student is a pretty busy one! I'm trying here! ^^"

* * *

Once they were far enough from the village that Sesshomaru deemed it safe, he and Rin stopped, and he made sure she ate every morsel of the food Kagome had given her, and drank at least half of the water canister. Once he was satisfied that she was properly fed, they both shifted into true form and proceeded to run nearly as far as they had the day before.

 _Tell me when you can run no farther, and I shall carry you,_ he told her as they began.

By the early afternoon, they reached a river, and when Rin stopped to drink, her legs simply folded under her, as they were shaking badly. She was hardly out of shape, at least to her mind, but this was exhausting. At his insistence, she was able to change back to her human form, and he picked her up in his teeth and set her on his back, allowing her to climb up between his shoulderblades as she had before while he continued.

By sunset, they reached their goal, and Rin woke up as his steps slowed. She looked up and stared at the neat rows of houses of another village…but it was silent, dark and cold. Clearly no one lived here, yet it seemed as if they had simply packed up that very morning and walked away.

 _This is a forgotten village, protected by a barrier my father and I created long ago,_ he informed her as he laid down in the center of town to let her climb down. _It is a secret place known only to myself, my mother, and now you._ He got up again once she was on the ground. _I shall get food for us._

"No!" Rin scolded him, seeing his own legs trembling with having run full pelt all day long. "You're exhausted. I'll go."

Rather than ignoring her or even protesting, he simply laid back down in the road and allowed himself to relax and even pant a little, something she'd never actually seen him do. It was obvious that he was, indeed, exhausted. Rin went out in search of prey, quickly finding something she knew he would be proud of.

Sesshomaru jumped and growled in surprise as something massive and rather bloody hit the ground next to him with a loud _thud._ Rin was standing over him, grinning toothily and showing off the water buffalo she'd managed to catch. He sniffed approvingly and reached to take a bite, only to have it grabbed back by Rin, who quickly started to demolish it. He could see she was under the thrall of her instincts, her body knowing she needed large amounts of sustenance, meat especially, to help the pup in her womb grow strong and healthy. Rather than fighting over it or begging for it, he just got up and found himself a deer or two, returning when he was done in time to catch her yawning hugely. Rather than trying to find a hut and bedroll to sleep in, she simply curled in a ball, tucking her fluffy tail over her nose and closing her eyes, sighing deeply. He stepped over to her and sat down beside her, giving her scruff and shoulders a few gentle licks before settling down curled around her to protect her. They both slept deeply, exhausted and knowing they were safe.

Rin awoke to birdsong the next morning and tried to sit up, only to find her neck still weighed down by Sesshomaru's massive head. He was still deeply unconscious, recovering from the exhaustion of their travels. She smiled slightly at him and closed her eyes again, concentrating until she could change back to her human form. She wanted to explore and let him sleep a bit longer. She gently kissed the tip of his huge snout before wandering off to admire the empty village, still awed at the fact that it was so empty but so well kept. It really seemed like someone would step out of one of the little huts and greet her, or she would turn the corner to see children playing in the street.

She found a small cold spring just outside the village itself, still inside the barrier he had mentioned the day before. She took a drink and then returned with a bucket to get them fresh water, hunting for firewood afterward. She stopped before lighting a fire, knowing that sometimes her beloved had not allowed it, because it was easy to track where someone was if there was smoke from a campfire. Rin pushed the screen of the hut she had been in aside and looked back out into the street where she'd left him, unable to stop herself from giggling uncontrollably at the sight that greeted her.

Sesshomaru had stretched and rolled, and was now sleeping flat on his back, belly exposed and legs curled like a common dog playing dead! Her loud and unrestrained giggling finally woke the usually stoic InuYōkai, and he gave her a brief look with one massive red-sclera eye before quickly getting up and shaking himself off, trying to look dignified before shifting back to his own usual form. The damage had been done, though, clearly, as Rin was still having trouble controlling her mirth, hiding her mouth behind both her hands, brown eyes sparkling.

Sesshomaru, the Lord of the Western Lands, stepped up to his mate with his face an unreadable mask and one hand up and partly extended. Rin managed to swallow her giggles as he laid his hand on her cheek, rubbing her ivy marking with his thumb. "What exactly do you find so amusing?"

"I couldn't help it," She said, out of breath from her laughing fit. "You looked so carefree." She wasn't about to say he looked like a common village dog playing. He wouldn't take that well.

He simply let out a thoughtful hum and held her cheek for a few more moments before letting her go and taking her hand instead. "It's cold. Would you like to build a fire?"

Rin sighed wistfully. "Is it really safe enough?"

He nodded calmly. "Of course. No one could find us here. It is impossible to find, except by someone who has already been there, because of the barrier. Without me bringing you here, you could wander these hills for a thousand years and never find this village." He stepped back inside the hut Rin had been standing in and noticed that she had already stacked wood in the fireplace. "Go ahead and light the fire and boil some water. I will find us some fresh food and provisions."

Sesshomaru took the opportunity of hunting to think over what had been happening these past few days, and who could possibly be responsible for it all. He was inclined to agree with the captain, Taro's, suggestion that the Dō clan from the far north had been the most suspicious. They had arrived with more than the ceremonial weapons and armor to the ceremony, and the girl that had tried to poison his beloved Rin had also been a Dō servant maid, apparently on orders from the daimyō herself. It was all very suspicious, but what if it was all a ruse, and someone else was clever enough to frame them? It did all seem just a bit too obvious…then there was the matter of the assassin that had finally forced them to leave the palace for Rin's safety. He had also been a Dō man, but he could easily have been hired. He was clearly the sort of person who did not care about morals or loyalties as long as the pay was right. Sesshomaru shook his head, killing a sheep to take back to the village for their meals. He had high hopes that his mother would come soon and tell them it was safe to return to their home. The one thing he immediately dreaded was having to stay in the village, perhaps for weeks or even a few months. What if Rin came due with them still in hiding? He was no midwife! If anything went wrong…he would never forgive himself if even the slightest harm befell Rin or their pup.

Sesshomaru returned to the center of the village to a plume of cheery smoke and the scent of freshly brewed tea and more boiled water ready to make food. He quickly prepared the sheep, getting the best bits of meat first for roasting on skewers, then went to where he had stored some provisions, such as rice, and brought it all to Rin, who was nursing her tea and bouncing eagerly at the thought of food, bundled in a blanket she had managed to find.

After they ate a sizeable meal and saved some of the rice for later, Rin dragged him along for a walk through the snowy village, admiring everything and asking questions that Sesshomaru unfortunately couldn't answer.

"Remember, Rin, much of this happened when I was much younger," He reminded her after the third such unanswerable question. "My father is the one you would ask, if he were still here."

She sighed, looking around again. "All this…it makes me wish I could have met him…"

Sesshomaru nodded slightly. "I believe he would have approved of you. After all, you were able to tame me when no woman ever could." A slight smile came to his lips. "He kept trying to set me up during the running when I was younger."

Rin went wide-eyed and was clearly trying not to burst into laughter again at the mental image of an awkward puppy version of the mighty InuYōkai getting dragged along by his scruff to socialize with other pups. "Really?" She squeaked.

"Yes. But I was never the least bit interested in anything but power at that time. And then, after his death…it became even more my focus. I had to prove I could surpass my father in every way. I didn't see the error of my ways until I nearly lost you…"

Rin leaned into him a little and he glanced at her, giving a slight nod. "Rest assured, there was never another woman in my life, and there will not be, save if you should have a daughter." He wasn't sure why he felt the need to declare that, but it clearly reassured the young woman, who smiled and glanced to her stomach, placing her free hand on the faint but firm swelling of her lower abdomen.

"I can't wait to see what they will be…" She said softly, and he stopped to face her and place his hand over hers gently.

"I care not. It does not matter for the succession. So long as they and you are healthy."

She managed to get a small kiss from him, then let go and darted off down a side street, calling out a challenge to catch her if he could. Sesshomaru chuckled faintly and darted after her, weaving through the village streets. He stopped to figure out which way she had gone and was suddenly hit with a ball of snow thrown from behind the nearest building. They played for over an hour, until they were both soaked and Rin was starting to cool off and shiver a bit. He took her back inside despite her protests and put more wood on the weakening fire, starting to strip out of his wet clothes and lay them out to dry, and getting her to do the same. She wrapped him in the same blanket she had been using earlier, yawning pointedly and snuggling beside him. She had already laid out the futon nearby and tugged him toward it, using the shared blanket as leverage.

Sesshomaru was rather rudely awakened later that night by the sharp piercing of claws into his shoulder. Rin was whimpering as if in pain, and he quickly woke her, dismayed to see her eyes fade from a glowing red. It was likely she had just been having a vision. Smelling blood on her claws, she immediately panicked. "I'm sorry!"

"It's all right, Rin. What did you see?"

"I couldn't stop the fire," She murmured, shivering. "It was burning me…"

"What fire?" There was no way this vision was a happy one!

"I don't know…I couldn't see…there wasn't any smoke, just the burning, and there were voices shouting around me, and at me."

"What were they saying?"

"I couldn't understand, they all overlapped…" She shuddered and he pulled her closer to comfort her. "You were shouting too. You sounded really scared…"

He swallowed. "Do you remember anything else, Rin? Every detail is important." Especially if he wanted to make certain this future did not happen!

"Something was holding me down…I don't know what, but I guess it was on fire. It made the burning so much worse…" A few tears escaped her eyes. "It was awful. I felt like I was already in hell."

Sesshomaru gently pulled her head under his chin, petting her raven hair and gently encouraging her to go back to sleep for now. Finally, she did so, and it took him until the hour before dawn to finally succumb to sleep himself once more.

Rin thought she was dreaming still when she heard a woman's soft chuckle nearby her. But when a soft, amused voice asked "Am I interrupting something?" she jolted awake with a shriek of surprise, backing up to sit against the wall and taking the blanket that was the couple's only covering with her, leaving Sesshomaru as naked as a newborn in front of—

"Morning, _Mother._ "

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A/N: yay, I did it! Chapter 45 finished in a reasonable amount of time! *phew*


	46. Chapter 46

Sessh Rin fic chap 46

A/N: sorry to say that the fluff is going to be disappearing soon, so enjoy it while you can! The darkness is going to build…

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Gobodō-sama chuckled lightly, covering her eyes with one small hand, peeking through her fingers. It wasn't as if she was really embarrassed to see her son unclothed, since she had birthed him, and changed and bathed him for years. It was more out of respect for him than her own discomfort.

"you could have awakened us from the door," Sesshomaru pointed out, sitting up and quickly grabbing the tail of his moko to cover his nakedness, a faint flush of embarrassment on his cheeks. He wasn't surprised to find Rin growling a few feet behind him, leaning against the wall and wrapped in the blanket.

"well, you were sleeping quite deeply actually," she informed him, chuckling again and lowering her hand. She smiled softly at his disgruntled expression.

"will you excuse us, Mother, so we may get dressed?" the woman smirked at how the awkward situation made her son suddenly much more respectful than usual.

"yes, of course, my children. Take all the time you need," she added rather teasingly. She knew, of course, that they had not been doing anything of the sort she was implying, but she had caught them in a compromising position and she wasn't going to let them forget it while it could bring her amusement. She strode outside to wait for them, a wide smirk still on her face.

Rin kept growling until she was completely outside, then scooted over to Sesshomaru, still clutching the blanket to herself. "how rude!" she spat in the direction of the door, brows furrowed in flustered anger.

"perhaps. But Mother is here now, which means it is safe to return home." He indulged in a tiny smile as Rin's face lit up, her anger forgotten. She jumped up and started putting on her dry clothing a layer at a time, chattering happily about full meals and hot baths and the friends she'd made among the servants in their manor.

"will you join me for a bath when we return home?" she asked as he finished putting on his armor. He simply nodded and took her hand gently, stepping outside to where his mother was waiting. She still had that disturbing smirk of something like amused pride on her face.

"is the manor confirmed to be safe now?" Sesshomaru asked, still being a bit more polite than he normally was with his mother. She nodded.

"There have been one or two changes to your staff, for assurance's sake, but it should be perfectly safe now," she confirmed. "that servant girl was next to worthless. She was sent back without even crossing the Dō border, but she has a great knowledge of herblore and can spot poisons that seasoned guards and healers would never find. She has sworn to serve Rin and protect her from any attempted harm in those areas."

Sesshomaru nodded and followed his mother to the edge of town, where she transformed and he did as well. Rin prepared to join them, but Gobodō-sama barked sharply and growled. Rin turned to her mate, bewildered, and he realized she would likely take years to learn the language of an InuYōkai's true form.

 _She says you are not to transform, Rin. I will carry you, or you may ride upon her shoulders if you choose. But she is worried you are overexerting yourself._

Rin bristled once again at her mother-in-law. "I'm not helpless, you know!" she insisted, arms crossed in a pout. The massive white hound growled again, and Sesshomaru turned to his mother in surprise. Rin did not like getting left out of the conversation.

 _Rin, please just climb up and rest on my shoulders. You have done too much running, and I am worried about the pup, as is Mother._

Rin pouted some more but climbed up and settled between his shoulder blades, laying down to rest in the thick, fluffy fur, as the day was colder than the few just before. Gobodō-sama looked at her in approval before bounding forward, leading the way back to their manor as Rin was quickly rocked to sleep by Sesshomaru's smooth, gentle gait.

While Rin slept, Sesshomaru spoke with his mother, starting by asking what she had meant by what she'd said in the village. "I meant exactly as I said," she told him with a small smile. "she proved herself as my daughter the moment she proved she would do anything to protect her family. And of course the pup she carries is my grandchild. They are yours, and I have been waiting centuries."

"that is hardly my fault."

"and whose fault would it be, if not yours, my son?" she asked teasingly. "there were women who threw themselves at you simply for being the heir. It was you who rejected them all." She made a chuckling sound as he sulked. "though, after meeting your Rin, I am glad you did. She seems perfect for you."

He perked up at her praise, noting that it was not the least bit grudging. She quickly stopped, remembering that they hadn't eaten, and offered some cooked fish, vegetables and rice that she had brought along, as well as a canister of water, for her daughter-in-law. Sesshomaru left them together so he could quickly hunt while Rin ate. Rin sat on her paw, leaning against her front leg like it was a tree while she ate the food like she'd never seen a meal before. Gobodō-sama tilted her massive white head to the side so she could watch the girl eat with an approving eye. Once Sesshomaru returned, Rin climbed back up and they continued, finally reaching the manor before sunset. She let out a cheer when she saw it, and the other woman sneezed in amusement, nodding to her son before bounding away.

Sesshomaru laid down to let Rin down, then finally returned to his human form, shaking himself a bit to settle the transformation. Rin immediately took his hand and started pulling on him, wanting to reach the bath house and take a nice, long, relaxing hot bath. But she didn't manage to take a single step forward, as he didn't move.

"come on, let's go have that bath!" she encouraged him, but he still refused to move for a moment. "I will follow after. Go ahead." Rin pouted at her mate for a moment more before letting him go and hurrying ahead, making a beeline to the nearest door of the bath house.

Sesshomaru wanted to check over the changes to his staff and ensure all was well and had gone smoothly in his absence. After visiting the servants' quarters to find only one change to his staff—namely that the Dō servant girl had come in to replace one of his older kitchen servants who'd wanted to retire anyway—he decided it was safe to join Rin for a bath, as he certainly needed one.

Rin was already relaxing in the large soaking tub with her washed hair piled on her head when he came in. she looked over as he settled in a washtub and started to scrub the dirt from his incredibly long hair, and couldn't resist the chance to tease him a little.

"wow, look," she said softly, "your hair is actually white!" he looked sharply up at her to see her grinning teasingly at him, and just narrowed his eyes.

"are you certain you're clean?" he teased back. "your skin is awfully brown next to mine." Rather than laughing, as he'd expected, she sunk a little in the water and turned pink, looking upset or embarrassed by the jab. He opened his mouth again to apologize and she mumbled, "but my skin's always been this color…"

Sighing, he climbed out of the washtub and stepped over to soak alongside her, tying up his hair with a cord from nearby. "you know I didn't mean it seriously," he told her, a bit taken aback when she suddenly started to cry. "I didn't mean to upset you!" he insisted, trying to comfort her.

"you didn't, you didn't," she blubbered. "I don't…I don't know why I'm crying!" he just put his arm around her and let her settle into his side, crying until she actually fell asleep in the soothing warm water. He got out, scooping her up gently and drying her off, wrapping her in an underlayer and carrying her to bed, supposing she would probably be up early tomorrow. He would have to be up with the sun as well, if his desk was any indication of how behind he was on his duties…he sighed deeply again and woke her long enough to have dinner so they could both sleep just after sunset that day.

Sesshomaru woke early the next morning and started on the mountain of papers at his desk, resolutely grinding an ink stick as he read over the first treaty of the day. Rin woke not long after, as the winter birds began to chirp more as the sun warmed them. Sesshomaru glanced over to see her stretch and yawn, getting up and going in search of breakfast after a moment. He picked up his brush and dipped it in the newly made ink, starting to write a response as he heard her picking out breakfast downstairs.

"look, look!" Rin chirped as she came back upstairs with a small plate. "the clans have started sending presents! Someone sent me little mochi!" she picked one up and munched it. "they're delicious! Do you want some?" he noted they were covered in white powder, probably starch, that would make working with the ink rather difficult. She shrugged and finished the one she had bitten, picking up another off the plate before pausing to look at it closer.

Sesshomaru noticed nothing amiss until the plate clattered to the floor, slipping from Rin's trembling fingers.

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A/N: Oh dear! what could be happening? will it be good or bad? leave your predictions for me with your reviews, and soon we'll see who's right!


	47. Chapter 47

A/N: ha. Ha. Ha…you guys are going to be so disappointed in me…

Also, shoutout to pamelamoores…I don't know how anyone could read 46 chapters in a day! I mean, I know they're not long, but…holy smokes. O.O

To answer a couple recent questions from spiritedranger: finals are actually in two weeks and I go right into summer school ^^' I write to take time out and relax, and since I need it more than ever I'm actually getting through my usual writer's block and getting things out. And as for the mind-link, it is a special bond formed only between mated pairs. Sesshomaru actually mentions that he had "been waiting to speak to Rin in such an intimate fashion". And as for why Rin can't understand Inu-speak…well, I don't know about you, my readers, but my dog and I don't talk much. We only understand the bare minimum of noises and body language. She has about as much knowledge of her new native language, if you will, as a baby would. It will take at least a couple of years before she understands. I just felt that made more sense, organically. -\\(シ)/-

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Sesshomaru turned sharply at the clattering sound, looking up to see Rin blank-eyed and shaking, seeming to shiver. He jumped to his feet and gently grabbed her upper arms, holding her firmly in front of him. "Rin, what's wrong? What is it?" He demanded of her unfocused gaze.

"I'm hot…too hot…" She mumbled softly. Then she abruptly collapsed in his arms, her eyes rolling back in her head so the whites showed momentarily before they fell shut. He quickly laid her back in bed and yelled for the healer as he tried to wake her again, his heart trying to pound its way out of him through his throat, or so it seemed to him.

The healer arrived just as Rin moaned and started to stir once more, moving weakly. She was starting to sweat profusely and did indeed feel feverish, so the healer helped strip her down to a single underlayer. Rin started to hiss and whimper every time she was touched, flinching away as if she was being burned. The young kitchen maid, Azumi, came running up the stairs and, seeing Rin-sama lying as she was, grabbed one of the discarded mochi cakes and spat on it, watching it instantly turn a deep cobalt blue color and start to sizzle. "She's been drugged!" Azumi immediately told the healer. "Needle's Prick. She needs antidote. I can make it."

Both the healer and Sesshomaru went pale at the young maid's words. "Needle's Prick…how horrible…" The healer murmured. "I've never even seen it used, it's so cruel. I don't know how to help her, Milord, but it seems the girl does. Listen to her." Azumi looked very frightened as Rin began to struggle, then thrash a bit, her pained whimpering growing louder. "You have to hold her down, or bind her," She told the worried lord. "Needle's Prick is a torture drug. It causes pain so intense that the victim would rather kill themselves than continue to suffer…She will try anything to escape the pain…" She ran from the room to make the antidote as quickly as she could, just as Rin began to scream in pain.

Sesshomaru regretfully held his mate down, impressed and dismayed in equal parts by how strong she was. This was the last thing she needed! The only thing running through his mind beyond worry about her and his future heir was a line from his schooling, long ago. _"he feels the stab of a thousand blades with a single needle's prick."_ The poetic description from a survivor of the drug did little to help now, except to help Sesshomaru understand just how much pain his beloved Rin was really in. every slightest touch made her scream out in agony, and he was forced to hold her wrists down as she struggled to reach her throat, presumably to claw it out.

Sesshomaru tried to reassure her verbally, though he was sure she couldn't hear him past her own awful shrieks of agony. She drew blood on herself, digging her sharp claws into the soft flesh of her palms. "I'm so sorry, Rin. I promise this won't last long. Where is that damned servant-girl?!"

Azumi soon rushed back up the stairs with cotton stuffed in her ears and a pot, ladle and cloths. "She has to drink two ladles. Then, everywhere you can see her veins exposed, you have to cut her and put more antidote in. Otherwise, it could take almost an hour for the antidote to take full effect." The young Dō girl trembled, unable to block out the tortured shrieks. "I'm sorry…it will be excruciating for her…"

The Yōkai man swallowed determinedly and set his face in a mask, simply setting himself to work as efficiently as possible. He had thought he would never hear a sound so awful as Rin screaming before he began to give her the antidote. He quickly found he was very wrong as the cries she made the first time he had to cut her surpassed even his worst nightmares. He would never forget these agonized sounds as long as he lived, and the moment he found out who had done this to his precious mate, they would wish the Kami never saw fit to grant them life.

Azumi worked alongside him, bandaging each wound as he made it with rags soaked in the antidote solution. He was relieved to see it working, her cries slowly calming and fading and the tension falling out of her body as the agony slowly ebbed. She swiftly went from burning to freezing, shivering once again. He covered her over with the quilt and prayed she would be all right.

That awful, too-real dream…the burning…the pain…it had happened again, but this time Rin couldn't seem to wake up. The heavy, burning log had been removed, and the burning splinters in her hands too, though it seemed coals had landed at every pulse point in her small body. Singularly unaffected by all the burning was a small core within her, perhaps the size of a temari, or both her small fists put together. Though in the absence of the fire it was suddenly freezing cold, that small part of her was pleasantly warm, and she tried to reach for it, wondering what it was…

"S…Se…Sessho-maru?" the man's head snapped to the face of his mate as she managed to speak his name.

"I'm right here, Rin. I'm here."

"I…I had…that dream…" She managed to continue in a strained, hoarse tone, her voice completely raw with her screaming. "the fire…"

"Hush now, it's all over. I promise there's no fire." Rin was reassured by his words and relaxed slightly, managing to finally rest her hands on the little ball of warmth and happiness in her belly. That was what brought her finally, jarringly, back to reality.

"It wasn't a dream!" She blurted in a hoarse whisper, her eyes snapping open in alarm. "It wasn't a dream, I saw it happen, and then it did happen—" She started to cry, her bandaged hands covering her just faintly swollen belly protectively. "Tell me they're okay!" She whimpered.

Sesshomaru couldn't answer her…he didn't know himself. At this point, all he could do was pray for his pup's survival. He looked up to the maid to see Azumi nod. "They should be fine. Once it touches any liquid, blood especially, it cannot be passed on, not even blood to blood. It can't possibly have affected them." But she was still frowning deeply as if this somehow wasn't wonderful news.

"What aren't you telling us?" Sesshomaru demanded in a low tone. The maid bowed her head, looking reluctant and regretful.

"A woman's body will only bear so much stress or pain," She said. "Only so much, before it will reject a growing pup to save itself. And milady was pushed far beyond that point." Sesshomaru frowned more deeply as she concluded, "Though the drug itself would not affect the pup, the pain it causes will likely cause you to lose them. I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do to stop it. The midwife will be here in a couple of hours, to help."

Sesshomaru gave a growl of impotent rage as the maid beat a hasty retreat from the room and Rin started to cry in horrified denial. He gently scooped her weakened form up, holding her in his arms and rocking her gently. The moment he learned who had sent that drug to them, he would see to it they were dosed with it for days on end with no relief. It was less than such an evil person deserved for what they had done, especially to have also taken his child away, most likely. His poor, darling Rin sobbed into his shoulder, both her arms wrapped over the subtle bulge of her belly, trying desperately to protect it. He gently laid a hand upon the slight swelling as well, rubbing gently. _Please…Do not do this to us…_

After a while, Rin was persuaded to eat and lay back down, where she promptly fell asleep once more, entirely worn out. Aki arrived at just before noon and rushed in, startling the poor woman awake. She checked the pregnant woman thoroughly, then sat back, looking a bit bewildered.

"Aki? What is it?"

"Well, Milord, Milady, I expected to give bad news," She began, fidgeting with a corner of Rin's blanket nervously.

"Aki, Speak. We already know she will lose them." Rin teared up again at Sesshomaru's seemingly callous attitude.

"Actually, you're wrong," She said, sitting up straighter. "She isn't showing the slightest sign of miscarriage, and that's what baffles me. Rin-sama and the pup are perfectly healthy, as far as I can tell. I don't even understand how that could be, but it is so." Rin and Sesshomaru locked eyes at this new information and Rin started crying again, but this time in tremendous relief. "That said, we do not want to tempt fate, I think. Rin-sama, you are on bed rest for at least the next 3 days. No walking whatsoever. Sesshomaru-sama, I ask you to act as her legs. If she must go anywhere, carry her. You need as much good food and rest as can be managed. I will check you every day to make sure all remains well."

Rin sighed in relief and wiped her watery eyes as he helped her sit up when lunch arrived. She ate eagerly and blinked tiredly, then giggled at a faint tickling sensation, like a cricket walking across the bottom of her stomach. She rubbed it as it came again, trying to get the funny feeling to go away so she could sleep.

"What is it?" Sesshomaru noticed the rubbing and was, of course, concerned it could be a worrisome sign of something going wrong. She gently took his hand and placed it where hers had been, just as the 'cricket' walked across again. "Did you feel that? It tickles," She giggled. His eyes widened slightly as he realized what the sensation was before she did.

Noting his silence, she looked up and saw his awed face. "What is it?" She asked him in return.

She received a warm, genuine smile, and three sweet words: "They are kicking."

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A/N: shoutout to all my followers! I haven't done this for a while, so I'll list all the new people first! 4444642, AnimeFreakLover54, Bankroll1001, Bre-Bre26, Cinful1126, Fireheart of Darkness, Gaamatsu96, Gruvfail, InsaneXPrincess, KaikariShumizu, Kanekiix, Kyuubi's-Angel, Ladyrouge214, lilday97, MarinitaChan, MikasaHawkeye, Miraia, Momoko44, Moshings, pamelamoores, PandaWolf95, RaindropsAndCherryblossomes, RaphaelsGirl45, RinandSesshomarufan22, Sailorstar1723, SephyraCrescent99, SharrakorShroudDragon, Shiranai Atsune, Stephy20, Tara Dawn Powers, TeamCullenPotterJackson, Thanhvantran, TheGreenEyedRogue, XuntitledX, YoursAnonymous, Yukivengeance, animeholic94, cassjo, castielluvslilith, cocolocosamba, .7771586, fairytail0630, fantacychik, gabrielariveroherrera, isiswild, jamesdeathblade, jordycat2000, lyran1, missBbadass, .73, phantome101, selly98, thea. , titaniumt, and yajairajauregui!

Phew! That's a lot of people! My once quite humble following has blossomed considerably to almost a hundred followers! That's absolutely amazing to me. I also want to thank the fantastic folks who came first and are still here, forty-seven chapters later! AnimeWoman76, Avalonhighgirl, Cercel, Eclipse1, Fiona222, Fleur Lilas, Gray Suede, Ildik0, LadyCumberBunny, Madam3Mayh3m, PAMILA DE CASTRO, Rae016, RinSesslover, Serria Spell23, Shivax23, SkullFire2004, angeldancer93, belle'sdarkangel, beve, blackacess, ebeth20, eveelima, inuyasha-fan17, jessie150, kaelag, kagomeLove2, mystlight, ora1168, pinkwhaletail, polkea, rizarda15 , shawnam93, , sllmidnight, thegirlwholostherway, and yumeyumi1986!

Wow! When I first credited my followers in chapter 31, I only had 37 and I thought that was an incomprehensible number of people liking my stuff…now, there's 94 of you! Almost a hundred! That's insane! And yet, so few of you talk…I want to take another moment to personally thank sllmidnight, mystlight, kagomelove2, XuntitledX, Sailorstar1723, and guest reviewer Happy Tello 98 for being regular reviewers, and also SpiritedRanger, Pamelamoores, 8391, and squishyrabbit for being recent reviewers! You might think a line or two to a busy college writer is worthless, but I read and cherish every single comment that comes my way! In fact, if you have more to say than you think would be suited for a review, or are too embarrassed to write it in public but still want to say something to one of your favorite writers, feel free to PM me! I always respond within twelve hours! (usually within one hour, but if you live opposite me in time zones it's going to take longer, sorry!)


	48. Chapter 48

A/N: guys, summer semester is kicking my tail! I really should have spaced the two classes out ^^'

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The young Dō servant girl, Azumi, was sitting at a corner table in the banquet hall, surrounded by gifts from the clans. She was closely focused on her task, a brush, ink and paper nearby to record who had sent what. As such, she didn't notice the man approach until he was standing right behind her, slightly bent over to read the characters on her notes.

"who sent them?"

Azumi let out a shrill squeak of terror at the calm but cold voice and turned sharply, instinctively clutching at her scarred arm to protect it from him. Sesshomaru looked down at her, his face an unreadable mask as seemingly featureless as his frightening voice. "who sent the mochi?" he asked her again, glancing at the paper. She gulped, forcing herself to relax and look at the paper.

"The western Mori, Sesshomaru-sama. Or at least, that is what the note said." This seemed to confuse the man, as one brow momentarily wrinkled. "they-ah—" she faltered in fear as his gaze snapped instantly back to her, "they weren't the only ones to send poison or something harmful. The Umi sent a, well, a very obvious and smelly poison that would barely give Rin-sama indigestion if she managed to eat it all."

"hmm."

"I'll continue to keep careful track of everything, Sesshomaru-sama," she promised with a deep bow, hoping he would leave now that he knew what he wanted to know. But he showed no sign of moving, and was now staring at her arm, which she realized she was rubbing anxiously. She quickly stopped and tugged her sleeve down to cover the scars. His next words caught her completely off guard.

"do the scars bother you?"

She left her mouth open for a second or two, shocked by the sudden question. "ah…n-no, milord," she stammered with another bow, starting to sweat as his eyes narrowed slightly.

"you may speak freely, Azumi. I expect everyone who serves me to be honest."

"the scars do not bother me, except by their presence. There is not a known antidote for the Tsuki poison ability, Sesshomaru-sama. My scars are deep and permanent reminders of my debt to you, and that I am very lucky to still have my arm." The narrowed eyes relaxed and he gave a subtle nod, satisfied by her answer. As he turned to leave the room, she remembered something and made a small noise, making him turn back, eyebrow faintly raised.

"I…I need to leave this evening, to go to the palace and give my reports," she told him, swallowing as his eyes narrowed in suspicion again. But this time, he simply nodded.

"when will you return?"

"the day after tomorrow. I will be quick." He nodded again and finally left the room, allowing Azumi to calm her poor racing heart. Clearly the man could not be lied to. She had to pray he wouldn't follow her when she left that night.

* * *

As Azumi planned for her to venture out that evening before sunset, it swiftly became apparent to the girl that it would not be safe for her to leave the manor's grounds. The guards were on high alert for anything out of the ordinary, and there wasn't so much as a shack for miles in any direction that she could use to hide in. she couldn't risk going to the nearby villages, as they would obviously be searched first. She knew that Sesshomaru suspected her of something and would be sure she was followed in some way.

No, running would only make it worse for Azumi. Better to stay, to hide until it was over and pray that she wasn't discovered. She finished making a little bundle of food and decided on a whim to check on Lady Rin. She must be going through an incredibly hard time, the poor woman. It was a terrible fate, to lose a pup…

Azumi tapped lightly at the frame of the door and heard a croaky "come in". Rin was dressed in one winter underlayer and tucked comfortably under the blanket. She smiled softly at the young woman, motioning with one bandaged hand that she could come in and sit beside her if she wanted to.

"I'm glad you came," Rin said in the hoarse voice that was all that was left from her earlier screams. "I wanted to thank you for saving me."

Azumi blushed and glanced away. "it was nothing. I was only doing my duty to you, to fulfil my debt." She looked up to see Rin still smiling with such gentle, almost motherly eyes. "I'm sorry. None of this should have happened. I should have caught the drug before you ever reached it. It's all my fault you lost them." She hid her face in her hands, starting to cry. They didn't deserve all the awful things that had happened to them, especially poor sweet Lady Rin.

She gasped in surprise at gentle fingers and a bandaged palm against her wrist, pulling her hand carefully away from her face. "No, Azumi. It isn't your fault." Rin gently tugged on the wrist she had grabbed until she could put Azumi's palm on the faint bulge of her stomach, almost invisible under the thick blanket. "Aki said they're going to be just fine, as long as I rest. You helped me, and them. Don't feel bad about that." The gentle woman's smile widened as fresh tears flowed down the girl's cheeks at the overwhelmingly joyous news.

"R-really?"

Rin nodded gently, her smile finally turning to a grin as Azumi wept in relief, gently patting the faint lump in the blanket and smiling a little herself. She sniffled and wiped furiously at her eyes, trying to dry them. "that's…so wonderful…such happy news. A thousand blessings on the heir, and on you, Rin-sama."

"Sesshomaru said you had to go give your reports to the Palace. It's nearly sundown, and I hate to think of you travelling by yourself in the dark. Won't you go with a guard?" Rin's grin had fallen to a frown of—once again—motherly affection, this time concern.

"actually, Milady, I think I shall go in the morning. I can go plenty fast enough to make my meeting still." Rin sighed in relief at Azumi's words and nodded. "but I do need to go and make sure everything is in order so I can sleep." She patted Rin's bandaged hand gently and stood, nodding to Sesshomaru-sama, who had been listening to the entire exchange as he sat writing something at his desk. He calmly gave a minute nod back and seemed less suspicious than he had been when they had spoken earlier that afternoon. Rin did not strike the girl as being a shrewd judge of character, but her mate clearly trusted her judgement, perhaps more than his own sometimes.

Azumi bowed low and hurried off, feeling a bit of a tingling in her fingers as the sun neared the horizon.

* * *

"so you said she's…what, again?" Rin asked as she leaned against her mate's chest while they ate dinner that evening. She was concerned about Azumi's twitchiness even after she had been informed of the pup's survival.

"a mixed blood. More than half, but not pureblood like you or I." Sesshomaru took another bite of his meat, chewing thoughtfully. "She has no moko-moko, and that's one of the easiest ways to tell. Since InuYōkai don't hybridize well, I imagine the lesser half of her blood is human. As such, it does not surprise me that she was born a servant. Hybrids are always second-class citizens, if they are allowed in society at all. That, and the lesser classes are more likely to interbreed with humans and weaken their blood further." During his little speech, Rin had stopped eating, and he turned his head to the side to find her frowning deeply. "I'm sorry, My love, but this is the way it has been for millennia. Those with human blood are weaker by far than purebred."

"and yet," Rin said coldly, "I couldn't tell the difference in strength between you and your brother, even though you have different mothers. What if you're wrong about all of that? A child of two people from different villages isn't any weaker. And if you weren't the heir, and things were different, you would have been happy for our child to be half. You didn't care I was human—your people did."

"Rin, please, don't say such things," he said, frowning in return. "that was once the way things were, when the Yume were in power. But it is what caused their downfall. They weakened their blood too much, and the princess sought to put a hanyō on the throne. When the clans revolted against them they could not resist. Things are the way they are now because it is the only way that can work, and you must accept that." She shook her head resolutely.

"how long did it work just fine, until somebody decided to get ideas about 'purity'?" Rin scoffed, going back to eating. Sesshomaru didn't have an answer for that, or even who had been the one to start it. He had to assume it was someone in the Shiro-yama or Dō clans, as they had led the coup against the Yume of old. But it could have been another person or group entirely who had truly started it. It didn't much matter; it was so deeply ingrained in their culture that barely any child even questioned it. He certainly never had.

Rin let out a yawn and he helped her get settled comfortably in bed. He wanted to go speak to azumi, though he had an idea that the young servant girl wouldn't be where she should be…

* * *

It was long after sunset when a pair of soft-shod footsteps sounded outside the door of the closet. Azumi quickly stopped breathing, praying the person would keep walking, but the steps paused.

 _Please, go away…oh, please. No one's here. Just leave…_

She curled more tightly in on herself as the door slid open and a light came with it, a tiny portable lamp held in a pale, clawed hand that was instantly recognizable to the young woman. She felt hot tears begin to run down her face in terror and anticipation of what the man might subject her to once he inevitably found her now…

"Azumi?" He spoke with a quiet uncertainty that startled the youth, making her reopen her closed eyes and look up in surprise. He was standing over her in the dim closet, the small paper lamp in one hand and only his eyes clearly visible as they reflected the light of the lamp held between them. She knew what he was seeing—her shamefully rounded ears, her brown eyes and black hair, the missing claws on the hands that clasped her upper arms tight in some feeble hope of protection from expected blows. She was human tonight, a curse passed down from her great-grandmother, whose 'love' had doomed her entire line to servitude and often early graves. She ducked her head again quickly, shivering in fear as he stood over her silently.

"Azumi…is this," he paused to indicate her changed appearance, "what you sought to hide from me this afternoon?" she managed a very faint, feeble nod, keeping her head tucked into the little ball she had made of herself, tears still falling. It was only a matter of time before the first swing came…

Sesshomaru frowned as the Dō servant girl gasped sharply and flinched away as he set the lamp on the ground between them, clearly anticipating an attack. She looked up, tears streaming down her face, looking more than bewildered as he knelt comfortably in front of her, deliberately relaxing himself in an effort to put her more at ease, though he doubted it were possible.

When the silence, marred only by her frightened panting and the flickering of the lamp, became unbearable to Azumi, she blurted hysterically "what are you waiting for?!"

He met her frightened gaze with an unreadable one, as always. "what is it you expect me to do?" he asked in a calm, flat tone, making no move at all save his lips. She just stared, even more confused.

"y-you found me…you know I have dirty blood…" she managed. "aren't you going to beat me like my last master?" at this, his eyes narrowed and she flinched again, still expecting him to strike her, clearly.

"and who was this master?" he demanded, a note of anger in his normally flat tone.

"I—he-he's no one. He's gone now. It doesn't matter." She shivered again, clutching at the scars that her current master had given her not long ago. He could have killed her in that very instant, when they first met, yet he didn't. but she didn't believe for a second that he was going to be compassionate toward her. She was relieved when he seemed to relax again, and she heard the note of anger replaced with pleasure as he simply said, "I see."

After another long, terrifying pause, she flinched again as his hand reached out, eyeing him fearfully as he frowned slightly. His hand was palm up, a gesture of peace and an offering of help. She looked up from his hand to his unreadable eyes and asked a simple question: "why?"

His eyes softened slightly and his answer was equally simple. "for Rin."

* * *

A/N: here's to 100 followers of Youkai Prike, Human Prejudice! 8D


	49. Chapter 49

A/N: I just realized—3 weeks late—that this story has been up for over a year! That's crazy!

* * *

Rin woke surrounded by softness and warmth, and at first she thought she was just having an even better dream than whatever she had before. Her nose wiggled appreciatively at the wafting scent of breakfast on the morning air, mingled with Sesshomaru's moko-moko and some nearby human scent…

Rin's eyes snapped open in surprise and she propped herself up on one elbow, staring around the room to find the source of the out-of-place scent. She was in the manor, in their bedroom…there most certainly should not be any human scent. But she found the source almost immediately, curled on her old futon in the corner of the room and staring back at her in anxiety.

"Azumi? What are you doing in here?" Rin asked the young servant girl, who put her chin on her knees and relaxed slightly.

"Sesshomaru-sama brought me in here late last night," She explained, blinking as if she agreed that it was an odd situation. "He said it was the safest place in the manor for me, and that I could watch over you if I couldn't sleep."

Rin offered another gentle smile to the girl and started to sit up fully, but Azumi jumped up and stopped her, propping her up with pillows instead so she didn't have to do anything to exert herself. "Oh, don't you start babying me too!" Rin grumbled, pouting a little.

"I'm sorry, Rin-sama, but I have my orders from Aki-sama and Sesshomaru-sama. Do you want your breakfast?" The pregnant woman pouted a little more but nodded, taking the bowl the girl offered and eating with gusto and enthusiasm.

When Azumi handed Rin her tea, she sniffed it like always, then paused with a frown. "Is something the matter?" She asked in concern. "It's a blend my mother learned from the Yama clans. Their women need more strength, since the mountains are harsher than here." Rin still looked distrustful of it—after all, it was her tea that had been tampered with before, by this very girl, no less—so Azumi took it back and drank a large sip of it before returning it to Rin. "See? It's harmless, I swear. And it tastes good. Ironweed is very, very good for you and your pup, but humans can't access it, since it basically only grows on a few mountain peaks in the Kin-Yama lands. Now go on, drink. It will help your strength return faster, I promise."

Rin looked from the extremely earnest young girl to the pleasantly amber tea. It did smell delicious, not at all bitter, and it looked wonderful. She took a cautious sip and shivered in surprise as a flood of pleasant warmth went right through her body from head to toes, as if she'd just had warm bathwater poured on her head…but somehow on the inside. She stared at the cup in shock for a moment, then happily downed the rest in two gulps, shivering at the sensation again and stretching in delight at the warmth and instant strength the brew seemed to bring her.

Sesshomaru came in within a few minutes, having been personally inspecting the grounds and manor to put his paranoia at ease. Azumi was sitting beside Rin, who was propped up on every cushion he owned (the majority of which he had purchased only very recently, specifically for his beloved) and they were chatting happily about Rin's childhood travelling with him. Rin turned to look at him with a small but happy smile, light sparkling in her eyes and glowing in her cheeks, making her ivy curls stand out more on the rosy color beneath. Azumi looked up and immediately tried to backpedal away from Rin, an apology already half-formed on her lips, but Sesshomaru simply waved a hand dismissively at the servant girl and took a knee on Rin's other side, giving her moon a gentle kiss and making his mate wrinkle her nose in happiness.

"I am glad to see you doing so much better, Rin," He said in a soft tone. "And I am also glad you have found someone to keep you company while I cannot." He nodded respectfully to Azumi, who looked slightly shocked at this. "I shall join you for lunch, but there are matters I must attend." He stood again and motioned to the servant girl, who jumped to her feet to follow.

"Be nice!" Rin called after him somewhat teasingly.

He made Azumi step in front of him into his study first, then closed the door behind them. The moment he did, he could scent the fear rolling from the young woman. "Calm down," He said rather impatiently. "If I wanted to kill you I would have done so when we met." She gulped but straightened up, looking up at him with her brown eyes, as she would remain human until the sun set that day. She was grateful she only had to endure this twice in a year. "Sit," He indicated a cushion and she sat as if her legs would no longer hold her, though she kept her chin up.

He settled onto the tatami—there was only one cushion in his study, since he was the only one ever in the room, normally. "Azumi," He began, meeting her rather reluctant gaze. "You have a good rapport with my mate." The girl nodded, not sure at all where this was going. "You seem to care about her well-being as much as the midwife." Another nod. "I have an order for you."

Azumi's head tilted slightly to the side in confusion. He had every right to command her, of course. What was it he wanted she wasn't already doing? "At the new month, when the moon is dark, I will be travelling to the palace to discuss all the information my mother, myself, and others have managed to gather on our attempted assassins. The guards will be doubled at this time, of course, as we all believe it is safer that Rin remain here, where she is surrounded only by those loyal to us." She nodded, not seeing her role in this yet. "I want you to act as Rin's personal handmaiden, while I am gone. No one else but the midwife should even be in the room with her. Remain with her at all times. If it comes to it, I want you to protect her, as a last line of defense."

Sesshomaru fixed the young handmaiden with a piercing golden stare. "Should any harm come to Rin, I fully expect you to be dead," He said flatly. "Or you very shortly will be." He was pleased as she swallowed and swore she would do exactly as he said, kowtowing for emphasis, though he kept his face in a mask, not letting anything show. "Go. And say nothing to Rin. I will explain to her myself, when I am ready to leave." She bowed deeply again after she stood up, then tried her best to beat a hasty retreat without it looking like she was fleeing.

Sesshomaru stood momentarily to settle onto his cushion, picking up the first scroll of the day, though his mind was still on the young woman. She was much stronger than she let on, he could tell. It was not the same as the foul sorcerer Hideoko from months ago, hiding his true power to offer false security. He firmly believed Azumi did not know her true strength, as others had kept her down, unaware of it. She would be a great ally once he helped her discover how powerful she actually was. Much like Rin, she had a strength of character that seemed to come from having a difficult, painful childhood.

He looked closer at the scroll in his hands, beginning to read a rather alarming note about raids on the Northern mori lands by groups of rogue wolves. The second heir to the daimyō had already fallen at the hands of these raiders, and they were growing ever more bold. They were requesting the aid of other nearby clans and had also sent a treaty to the palace requesting aid. The details did not make sense, though…the group that had killed the Mori heir had numbered sixteen, far larger than any raiding party that had ever been seen, and the wolves were reported to have weapons, such as clubs, short swords and spears. Wolves did not fight with weapons. That alpha, the one that had been pursuing his otōto's miko, wore a sword at his hip but never used it. They were simply too feral for it, in his opinion. They preferred to fight with teeth and claws. "None of this makes any sense…" He sighed, pinning the note down with stones to study it closer. "It seems war steps closer every moment my back is turned…"

* * *

A/N: guessing time again! What's up with the wolves? Has kōga gone crazy? Are they rogue wolves? Is it all a trick? I want to hear conspiracy theories! ^^


	50. Chapter 50

A/N: THE BIG 5 0! I'VE NEVER MADE IT THIS FAR BEFORE! Thank you, thank you, thank you to every single one of my readers and reviewers for being wonderful people and enjoying and leaving feedback on this story!

*This chapter is very **heavy** / has very **dark themes**. If you have **triggers** , read with caution (especially sections 2 and 5).

* * *

Rin was sitting out on the porch with Azumi, gazing out at the snow, when Sesshomaru came out to join them on the first of February. Over the past weeks, the reports of raids had increased in frequency as well as spread, affecting clans that did not even have lands bordering the wolf tribes. The Mori Daimyō had lost his heir in another raid, and the Ka and Umi clans were suffering losses, forced to stop lending aid to the Mori as their own lands came under attack by the bands of rogue wolves. Rin wasn't aware of these new problems; all she knew was that her beloved never seemed to smile at all anymore.

"Rin, I will be travelling to the palace today," He told her as she looked up at him. "The guards will be on high alert, and I have assigned Azumi to be your personal guard as well. I shall return as soon as I safely can."

Rin pushed herself to her feet, a little off balance as she was slowly becoming more and more front-heavy as her belly slowly swelled with its new life. "Must you go?" She asked, putting a gentle hand on his cheek that he quickly but gently removed.

"I must. We don't know enough about our enemy and cannot risk our missives being intercepted. It is best we meet and discuss in person." She sighed softly and nodded, watching him step back inside and return a few minutes later with his armor and swords, striding across the garden to the stable to fetch Ah-Un. Though the dragon could not really travel any faster than him, he wanted to preserve his energy and remain more alert as he travelled. Unfortunately, he was right to be so concerned about intercepted missives.

* * *

"Today is the day," Said one man to his compatriot with a wicked smirk. Both turned to their victim, a young Umi commoner they had caught on the way to market. He was bound tight and gagged and stared at his captors with hatred to hide his fear.

The second man produced a small clay bottle with a small amount of liquid inside. "You're going to become very, very useful to us," He told the young man, shaking the bottle so the liquid sloshed around. "You know what you're going to do?"

"You're going to kill the Yume princess for us," The first man said with a skin-crawling laugh, making the young man shiver involuntarily. He shook his head firmly, defiant.

"Oh, believe me," The second man told him. "Just a sip of this, and you'll _want_ to go after her…but just to be sure, you're going to drink the whole bottle!"

The first man grabbed the Umi male by his pale, platinum blonde hair and pulled his head back, removing his gag and then firmly holding his nose as the second man came at him with the uncorked bottle. He struggled violently, keeping his jaw locked as long as he could before he had to breathe. The man with the bottle instantly jammed his fingers into his mouth, keeping it pried open and emptying the bottle into the captive's mouth, making him choke and splutter, trying to spit it out. The stuff tasted horrendous and who knew what it would do to him!

Both men let go and stepped back as the captive fell on the floor, starting to spasm as if having a seizure, gasping for air irregularly. One pulled a knife and stepped around behind the young man as the second grabbed another small bottle, this one with a scrap of preserved cloth in it. As the man suddenly went still, he swiftly uncorked this bottle and held it under his nose, watching him take several deep breaths of the scent. He corked the bottle again and nodded to the first man, who cut the ropes quickly and got out of the way as the young man's red-sclera eyes opened.

"Go. Find her. Sate yourself," The second man ordered, throwing the vial and watching the man chase after it, beginning the rampage that, if they were lucky, would result in a pair of horrific, violent deaths…

* * *

It was about midday in the manor, and Sesshomaru was probably at the palace by now, Rin thought as Azumi brought over her food. Thanks to the Ironweed tea, Aki had cleared her from absolute bed rest a day early, and she was enjoying her noon meal in the dining hall, surrounded by four guards who apparently just happened to also be eating lunch at the same time she was. Rin hid her amused smirk at the pretend 'coincidence' behind her cup of tea—she knew Sesshomaru had put them up to it. She didn't mind, though, as the gentlemen were good conversationalists and fairly laid-back fellows, never having seen much action stationed out here at the manor. They were chattering cheerfully among themselves, leaving her alone while she ate, though she could tell by the sidelong glances by one or two of them that they were just waiting for her to finish so the questions could begin. Everyone she had met since her transformation wanted to know everything about her and how she was a Yume. Though Rin didn't like long stories, she did like making friends, so she didn't mind indulging in a bit of tale-telling for her companions, to satisfy their curiosity.

Rin and Azumi had just finished their bowls of soup when a bell began to be rung outside in the garden. Rin had never heard it before and didn't know its meaning. She was alarmed as one of the guards grabbed her by the upper arms and pulled her gently but swiftly to her feet, with the other 3 closing ranks around the two women. "What's going on?!" Rin demanded, frightened as the men drew weapons, looking in every direction for the threat as the bell just as suddenly fell silent.

Two of the guards rushed forward as a man appeared in the doorway, covered in wounds and a broken spear's head lodged in his shoulder. His eyes were glowing red.

Rin screamed as those eyes locked onto her, and he lunged.

* * *

Sesshomaru arrived at the palace shortly before noon and was immediately met by his mother, and a servant, who took Ah-Un away to eat and rest in the stable.

"Come, quickly. We have much to discuss." His mother wasted no time in leading him down the long hall to a small room deep within the palace, where the captain of the guard, Taro, was already waiting, the table covered in scrolls and stacks of information from all over the lands.

As they sat and began to discuss, Sesshomaru offering the sheets that Azumi had been making every time gifts came in from the clans, he began to feel uneasy. He frowned, his gaze growing distant as he tried to determine the source of his uneasiness.

"—maru? Sesshomaru?" His mother snapped her fingers once in his face impatiently. "Pay attention, boy! This is serious!"

He looked down at the paper in front of him, still frowning deeply as the feeling only increased in intensity.

"What is wrong?"

"I do not know…I sense something…some danger lurking…threatening…" He murmured, trying to explain the feeling as best he could.

His head snapped up as his mother was instantly on her feet. "Go at once!" She ordered him. "Your bond will always tell you when your mate is in danger! Never ignore such instincts!" As soon as he got to his feet she shoved him towards the door. "GO!"

Now far more alarmed that he knew the source of the uneasiness, the InuYōkai left his mount behind, choosing instead to change and run as fast as the skies would allow him, though he knew it was a journey of hours no matter what he did. _RIN! HOLD ON!_

* * *

Running flat out as he had, it was still almost sundown when he finally reached the manor he called home. The sense of danger had compounded considerably over the space of a couple of hours, then suddenly disappeared, which only served to make him more anxious. Rin would not answer his mental calls, but he didn't know if there was a limit of distance on them.

He hit the ground hard and transformed back to his usual form, alarmed to see the gates broken, one flat on the ground and the other with almost half missing. There were two guards standing in their usual posts, heavily bandaged. "Milord!" Shouted one immediately. "Please go inside at once!"

Sesshomaru did not stop to ask questions. He barely saw the continued damage around him, barely scented or felt the splashes of blood in the garden that soaked the soles of his boots as he darted inside. "Rin!" He called, following her scent upstairs, to their bedroom, not knowing what he might find as he threw open the door.

The first thing he found was an alarmingly sized pool of blood, half soaked up by their futon. It was clearly not Rin's blood, for which he was grateful, but he certainly could scent it also, which frightened him. The second thing he saw was someone huddled in the corner, shivering in terror and smelling like they were both injured and covered in blood that might not be theirs. He stepped toward the injured person cautiously, reaching out a hand to remove the blanket they had tightly wrapped themselves in. "Rin?"

"Don't touch me," A tiny voice managed to sniffle back, making him pause.

"Rin, please—"

"Don't touch me," She repeated, shivering and pulling the blanket even tighter. "I-I'm filthy."

She shivered again as gentle hands made her turn around and pulled the blanket away from her head, revealing that her hair was matted with the same blood that covered the floor. "I don't care. Rin, are you all right?" She managed to nod before breaking into loud sobs and grabbing him tightly, needing comfort. "What happened?"

"Th-th-there was…a-a man…" She managed to stammer out between sobs. "A-Azumi called them…'berserker'…He killed the guards…" She shook with several more sobs. "He didn't feel anything…nothing at all…I-I don't know…if she's…*hic* if she's still alive…h-he just, just kept coming for me, no matter what…"

Sesshomaru held her close as she sobbed, finding a relatively clean spot on her back and rubbing gently, trying to comfort her. He was still deeply troubled by the fact that he could clearly scent her blood. "Rin," h]He said after several minutes, when she had calmed down just a little, "Did he hurt you?"

She started sobbing harder again and managed a mute nod, clinging tightly to him. After a moment she murmured, "He hurt me bad…but I stopped him, I cut his throat. He finally stopped…I was so scared…" She shuddered violently and clung to her mate. Making up his mind, he gently scooped her up and carried her to the bath house to clean her up.

Sesshomaru set Rin gently down by the side of a wash tub, letting her sit while he filled it with warm water and some lavender to relax her. "Come Rin. You need cleaned, and your wounds will need tending." He still had not seen so much as a scratch on her, as she was tightly wrapped in the blanket.

Rin slowly rose to her feet, wincing in pain, then unwound the blanket and let it fall to the floor, revealing a badly torn and bloody underlayer that was practically shredded. Through it, he could already see a terrible pattern of wounds. She took the robe off also, letting it fall on the blanket, and stood before him, clutching at her own upper arms as if she were suddenly cold.

Sesshomaru stared in horror at the claw marks and scratches his beloved was covered in. There was a bite on her shoulder, as if her attacker were going for her scruff but had missed; there were scratches on her arms, from wrist to nearly the shoulder, where he had tried again and again to restrain her, and bruises to match. Most horrifying of all, though, were the bruises and scratches on her legs, from knee to nearly the hip…all along the inside of her thighs. As the attacker's intent was suddenly clear to the man, he felt an instant surge of anger and let out a low but infuriated growl, almost wishing the man alive just for the pleasure of killing him personally, as painfully as possible.

He was snapped from his vengeful thoughts as Rin flinched away from his growl, turning her bruised cheek as if expecting _him_ to strike her. He immediately calmed, feeling awful for frightening his darling mate and furious with himself for not being there to protect her, as was his duty. "Come, Rin. You need cleaned," He repeated in an even flatter tone, coaxing her into the warm, relaxing water and beginning to wash her hair for her. "I swear to you, I will not leave you again."


	51. Chapter 51

A/N: things are just going to get more intense here on out! Their enemies are becoming desperate…

Also, I just wanted to point out that in the last chapter at least 5 people died. 5 innocent people that probably had backstories and names and lives. But I don't think any of you cared, if you even noticed…'^^ such is the life of a soldier, to not be missed.

* * *

The first thing the young servant girl became aware of was a set of footsteps. They seemed familiar, but she couldn't place them…they stopped nearby her and she heard low murmuring. She couldn't understand what was being said, as if it were gibberish or some other language, but she knew it wasn't. Her ears weren't scrambled, but her brain was. She had hit her head…or something had hit her head…she honestly couldn't quite remember right now. It wasn't important. The voice—no, voices—they sounded familiar too, somehow, but again, she couldn't remember why. She panicked for a moment as she tried to open her eyes and thought she had gone blind, before she realized that she hadn't managed to open them. She was too weak to even open her eyelids, it seemed. She tried to talk but her mouth wouldn't open and her throat wouldn't work. _Oh no…what if I'm dead? I don't like this…_ She managed to think, struggling harder to move. She didn't want to be buried—or worse, burned!

"She is recovering," The healer told Sesshomaru calmly as they both stood beside the raised cot Azumi was laying in. "It will take time for her to wake, and her broken leg to heal, but I think she shall recover fully in due time." They both turned to her in shock at an urgent whisper from the girl's lips.

" _shina…nai…_ " She managed to inform them. 'I'm not dead!' The oddity of the sudden statement startled a soft chuckle from both men. "Don't worry, young one, we know," The healer replied in a warm tone. "You're going to be just fine. Just rest." She let out a sigh and went back to breathing deeply, satisfied that someone had understood her urgent message. "I must return to Lady Rin," Sesshomaru told the healer with a small bow. "Are any of the others showing improvement?"

The healer shook his head somewhat sadly. "Six fell where they stood, during the attack, and another two succumbed to their wounds shortly after being brought to me," He informed his master woefully. "Of the 3 that remain, I do not have much hope of any of them lasting the night. Though of course I will do everything in my power to keep them from crossing the Fields." Both men turned to the other side of the room to the other 3 occupied cots. The men—all 3 guards—could barely be seen under the bandages they were covered in, some soaked with blood. Kneeling next to who Sesshomaru knew was one of his most senior guards was a servant woman and a half-grown child. He turned quickly away respectfully as he could hear the woman praying for her mate's survival in utter despair.

"Some of the families have requested pyres in place of graves, with your permission," The Healer said, nodding to the space in between his patients, where the 8 bodies of the guards, plus the berserker who had caused all this carnage, lay neatly wrapped, already prepared for whatever fate awaited their mortal forms. He gave a deep nod. "Of course. These men deserve every honor possible for their service."

The healer bowed and moved to start the preparations as Sesshomaru turned away, the fervent prayers of the soon-to-be widow still ringing awfully in his ears.

* * *

Surprisingly, two of the three men did survive the night and begin to show signs of improvement. All who died earned a pyre just outside the manor's gates, and the families of the fallen stood with lady Rin, who wept for each life lost on her behalf, just as much as the families did. Within two weeks, Azumi and the two guards who had survived their brush with death were back on duty, and everyone else who had been injured was completely healed. Rin was sitting out under the cherry tree in the garden, singing children's songs and whatever else came into her head as Sesshomaru sat on a limb above her, gazing into the distance as he thought about the continued messages of raids. Just yesterday he had gotten word of the death of the Mori Daimyō in an ambush by the rogue wolves very near his capitol. His last child, the thirdborn son, was going to have to be put in as the new Daimyō at the whelping festival in a few weeks' time…if he lived that long.

He looked down at the sound of feet running toward the tree to see a messenger stop and bow before looking up at him. "Sesshomaru-sama! There has been an attack reported in the northern edge of your land by a group of wolves!" He quickly reported. Rin stopped singing and looked up in concern as Sesshomaru jumped down from the tree with a deep frown. "Should we send men, sir? How many?"

"No. Do not send any men. I will take care of this personally." Rin's hand was grasping his sleeve in an instant as she pulled herself to her feet. "NO! Don't go! What if it's a trap?" She asked, clinging tightly to her beloved with a worried frown.

"I believe that it is a trap," He told her calmly, "Which is why I must go alone. I will not condemn any more of my allies to early graves when they are so difficult to come by in the first place."

"But…" Rin whined, still clinging to his sleeve, her other hand resting on her belly as their pup kicked her with tiny feet the size of a pinky nail. "Please, don't go alone…What if…What if you don't come back?" She trembled slightly in fear of the very thought.

Sesshomaru turned to his beloved and embraced her briefly. "That is a risk I must assume sooner or later, Rin. It is my duty as the heir and will continue to be so when I become the Taishōgun. I must fight for the safety of the lands and my people, and to protect those I care for." He stepped back and gently stroked her cheek before turning away to go to the armory. "I will return, Rin. You have my word."

* * *

Sesshomaru chose to travel in his humanoid form to the place stated in the report, with his armor on and bakusaiga at his hip. It was late morning when he arrived to find 4 heavily scarred wolves ransacking a small village that had been evacuated already, looting whatever they could get their hands on. One of them spotted him and straightened up, picking up a club that had been laid by their feet.

"Who goes there?" He called to the white-haired newcomer, glaring suspiciously.

"I am Sesshomaru of the Tsuki clan. These are my lands, and you don't belong." The man laughed mockingly at the newcomer's words, slapping his palm with the heavy club.

"Funny, we were told these lands had no master, and we were to take as we pleased and kill anyone who said otherwise," The wolf informed the man with a wicked grin. 3 more wolves, another with a club and two with spears, appeared from the houses. At a signal, all four leaped at the white-haired man, attacking from all sides before he could draw his weapon.

Luckily, Sesshomaru had been expecting this and was able to use his whip to repel the first attack, felling one of the attackers and injuring the other 3 as they leaped back out of range. He was startled at a sudden rain of several arrows from nowhere and a snarling flurry of blows from all sides as several more wolves appeared as if from thin air.

Sesshomaru had been absolutely right. It was an ambush.

He quickly managed to draw his sword and fight back several of the attackers with two powerful, sweeping blows, but they seemed to just keep coming. A club put a crack in his armor, knocking him sideways into a bruising blow to his upper arm. Another volley of 3 or 4 arrows flew into the mess and two bit his left shoulder as he couldn't be bothered to deflect them with so much else to deal with. He lopped the head off his nearest attacker and managed to get free of the ring of assailants, seeing there were at least twelve of them now, every one heavily scarred and armed with weapons none of them should have had. They charged him again, pinning him against a small cliff, and one managed to catch him in the thigh with a spear, making Sesshomaru roar in pain and take out several more of them in another mighty swing.

Another few arrows flew, two striking his chest just above his armor and one bouncing off. Another club cracked the armor further and someone lunged with a spear for the hole left behind, quickly being killed before he managed to land the blow. The last few attackers were blood-mad, out of their minds with the need to kill. As Sesshomaru swung again, killing one of the 3, another brought a crashing blow with a club down on his right wrist, making him drop his sword as his hand suddenly went limp. He turned and swung with his left fist, sending the wolf flying and cutting off the third wolf's head with just his claws before picking up his sword and going after the archers to also dispatch them.

After a few minutes that felt like eternity, the fight was over. Though he had at first seen only four wolves, 20 bodies lay strewn in the village's streets. Sesshomaru cleaned his blade and sheathed it, immediately starting back home, leaving the dead for the scavengers. He hardly noticed the pain he was in, or the awful trail of blood he left with every racing footstep. He had been gone too long, and he had to get back to his beloved. That was all that mattered.

It was late afternoon when the guards stood at attention, sensing something coming in fast. They quickly identified their leader, though they were dismayed at the shape he was in.

as soon as he stopped running and stepped through the gates, Sesshomaru was suddenly dizzy, and his vision blurred and spun. He distantly heard his sweet Rin's voice and felt gentle hands on his shoulders as the world around him slowly faded and the soft grass seemed to come up to meet him…

 _Sesshomaru! Sesshomaru! Someone get the healer!_

* * *

A/N: okay, now to go on hiatus for 6 months! ^^' I'm kidding, I'm kidding! If it takes more than two weeks for the next bit to come out, feel free to pm and yell at me!


	52. Chapter 52

A/N: I'll be honest, I was fully expecting torches and pitchforks after the last chapter dropped! I had no idea what the reaction was going to be…

Bet you didn't see this coming! A Saturday teaser chapter?! What are the odds? Also, I have survived finals week of summer semester so I'm free until august. This won't be my only project, though, so keep an eye on my other works for updates and possible new material!

* * *

Pain.

Excruciating pain was what brought Sesshomaru violently back to consciousness just minutes after he had collapsed in the garden. He lashed out at whatever nearby thing was causing him such pain and several sets of hands firmly held him down until he could be tied. He quickly stopped thrashing, exhausted beyond belief, panting in agony as the hands removed his damaged armor, then his blood-soaked clothing, in order to access the wounds. There were exclamations of awe and concern as the extent of his injuries was revealed.

One set of hands gently but firmly started to remove the arrows, putting a burning salve in each wound after the head was pulled out. He writhed and yelled, then fell still again, starting to lose consciousness.

"Stay awake, Sesshomaru-sama! You must stay awake!" insisted an urgent voice from somewhere closer to his waist. The wounded man let out another roar of pain as the healer cinched the bandage around his thigh, hoping to stop the bleeding. He had already lost so much blood…

"Look at his wrist…" a woman's voice worried at his side.

"It was broken. We'll have to rebreak it to set it correctly."

"Shouldn't we give him painkillers?" Asked a different voice on his other side.

"Not until he proves he'll recover. In the state he's in he won't feel much beyond the very worst of it anyway."

"Do you really think he'll—" The first began.

"Hush. Don't speak it, lest it come true."

Sesshomaru struggled to take deep breaths, letting out a pained yelp as his right wrist was forcibly twisted until an unpleasant crunch sounded, then whimpered as it was kneaded like a ball of dough until everything was back where it belonged so it could be splinted. His eyes weren't working well and everything had a red tinge over black and white, hazy and indistinct. He tried to look around, not knowing where he was, only where he should be. He knew the healer was the one winding a thick bandage around his thigh now that the bleeding had been staunched, and that he had at least two helpers by the voices. But someone was missing…

"Rin…where?..." He managed to ask, trying to find a face through the red haze. "Where?"

"She is with the midwife and the servant girl. She is fine."

Sesshomaru let out a deep sigh of relief and closed his eyes, feeling the pain fade as the noises around him grew less distinct again. "Good…" He breathed, happy to relax and float in the numb blackness that wanted to swallow him. It was so much nicer than the red pain.

But the healer refused to let him rest, jarring him back to reality again and making him groan and peek open his red-sclera eyes. "You cannot rest, Sesshomaru-sama. Not until you eat and take herbs." He tried to shake his head—he knew he didn't have the energy to chew—but the healer had a large bowl of broth and held his head up to drink as slowly as he needed to. When he was done, he closed his eyes again, hearing the bowl set on the floor, drifting towards a safer reddish-blackness that promised a future, unlike the deep nothing from before.

"There's nothing more to do now but wait for the dawn."

"Are you certain he'll recover?"

"His father was strong. Surely he will be too." A pause and a shuffle of someone sitting down. "Though, the sight of that blood, and the fact he ran for hours with those wounds…I will admit I am more than a little concerned."

More footsteps, and the door to the room opened. "How is he?"

"He should recover, Aki, if he makes it through tonight. And the Lady?"

"She is well. I was forced to sedate her, though. She was too strong for both of us combined to restrain her."

A heavy sigh. "You did the right thing. We cannot risk losing both heirs." There was another long pause, then footsteps and the door closing. Sesshomaru fell more deeply unconscious, content to know that Rin was well.

* * *

Sesshomaru woke to a sweet, warm scent wreathed around him, and managed a tiny smile before the pain hit him like a rampaging oni. He spat out a curse through clenched teeth and the healer was beside him in an instant with another bowl of broth that smelled rather foul. "Here, drink."

He drank the bitter liquid as quickly as he could manage, feeling the pain slowly ebb once again. His breathing eased and his broken body fell limp again. "Rin…she was here…?" He asked the healer in a strained whisper. Her scent surrounded him; she had to have visited, surely.

"No. You woke thrashing in the early morning and we took some of her bedding to calm you. The scent of your mate was the only thing that would allow you to rest properly." The man tugged the light blanket up a little higher on Sesshomaru's chest, and he caught the scent wafting from it. It disappointed him that Rin had not come to see him, but perhaps it was for the best. He knew he must look awful still, at least as bad as when they first met, vastly weakened and unable to move under his own power.

 _I was a fool, thinking I could go into an ambush alone and return unscathed…_ he slowly turned his head as the healer left the room, then closed his eyes again, deciding he may as well rest, and try to heal as fast as possible.

A few moments later, frantic footsteps sounded in the hallway and the door was shoved open. He opened his eyes but had no time to turn his head before a set of clawed hands rested on either side of his head.

He was momentarily alarmed, but the next thing he felt was a gentle kiss on his forehead and faint tickles as his beloved's raven hair fell around him. She sat up a little, stroking his cheeks as her eyes filled with tears.

"You're so hurt…" She worried to him, feeling her first tear fall. "I shouldn't have let you go, I had the most awful feeling as soon as you left…" She sniffled as several more tears fell. Rin was clearly still exhausted by something, as though she hadn't slept at all the night before, though he was certain she had. She seemed to make up her mind and very carefully settled herself beside him on his less-injured left side, quickly passing out as the sedative herbs they had given her the night before had not fully worn off.

A moment or two after Rin had stopped fidgeting, he felt something tapping at the back of his left hand. He tried to look down, but couldn't get a good angle to see what it was. He carefully turned his hand upside down so his palm was facing the tapping and the tiny smile returned as he realized his pup was kicking again. Sesshomaru let out a soft sigh and allowed himself back into unconsciousness again, letting himself heal as quickly as he could.

* * *

It was almost a miracle that no one outside the manor apparently knew that Sesshomaru had been injured at all. He knew it must partly be because he had slaughtered every last one of the wolves that had been sent against him. A few days after the attack, when he was feeling well enough to sit up and feed himself, he ordered some men to go investigate the wolves' bodies, but they returned empty-handed. Someone had cleaned up the mess he'd left behind, taking the weapons and everything else. The attacks and raids ceased around that time also, and he was relieved to know that the threats were gone for the time being.

Rin was sleeping lightly with her head in his lap as he sat at his desk, noting it was nearly time for the annual whelping festival. He had lost track of the weeks during his recovery, and what had been almost a month away was now only 3 days hence. He glanced down and gently petted his mate's hair, seeing her smile slightly in her sleep. She had barely let him out of her sight for even a moment since the morning after the attack, worried sick over him.

"Mochi…" She mumbled randomly, and his hand stilled as he glanced down again, one eyebrow slightly raised. "Noodles…"

"Dreaming about food again, are we?" He asked in amusement.

She hummed softly and then mumbled "…Sheep," in a pleased tone of voice, her tongue sticking slightly out. He gently poked the protruding tongue with the tip of a claw and she quickly pulled it back in, blinking awake.

"Are you having a nice dream?"

Rin blinked and nodded, yawning a little and stretching. "When should we leave for the festival? Don't we have to be there ahead of time?"

Sesshomaru gave a small nod of his own. "Ordinarily, we would have been there a week ago or more, since you would be nesting and preparing to whelp," He noted. "But you're nowhere near ready for that." He looked over his mate's slim body, pausing proudly at the gentle roundness of her growing stomach. She looked what he might call 'comfortably pregnant', not yet the strained hugeness of a woman ready to bear her pup, that looked as if she had swallowed a kemari whole, or a very large melon. He had been around the whelping festival plenty growing up, and he knew it must not be comfortable to be that large. He'd never met a woman who didn't complain of the discomfort or downright pain of being so vast. He most certainly did not look forward to his beloved being in such discomfort, but knew she would be. She was already slightly bigger than expected for how far along she was, so Aki told him. The Royal Midwife chalked it up to the pup being a quarter Nami, due to Sesshomaru's father's blood. The Nami had big bones for certain, and were several inches taller than any other clan, several feet in true form.

A gentle kiss on the cheek startled him out of his thoughts and Rin hummed in amusement as he jumped slightly. "Would you like something to eat? I'm famished."

He nodded, going back to the letter on his desk from his mother, detailing what he should pack for the trip to the palace. He supposed they should leave tomorrow, to ensure plenty of time to settle in…


	53. Chapter 53

A/N chapter bomb part one! I didn't think I was going to get the opportunity to do chapter bombs again, so I'm at least as excited about this as you guys! =^^=

* * *

Given the history of Rin going to the InuYōkai palace, Sesshomaru was honestly shocked at how excited she was for the festival. She had helped him pack and get everything organized in record time, almost bouncing with eagerness.

Jaken pattered into the room with a couple of scrolls and set them down to find his master and mistress packing. "Oh, where are you going?" He asked, a bit sad that since all this started happening he had been more and more cut out of the inner circle.

"To the whelping festival, Jaken," Rin told him with a happy grin. "You're welcome to come along with us, if you like. I can't wait to see all the new little ones!"

"O-oh, well," He said, suddenly rather shy. "I don't think I'm very welcome at the palace, you know. Perhaps it's best if you go without me, as you have before."

"Now, that's not fair, Jaken," Rin corrected him with a soft frown. "Of course you're welcome! We're going to be running there, though…" She scratched her chin for a moment, then smiled. "I know! You can hop in this bag I packed, and I'll just carry you!" She patted the layers of cloth in the soft bundle with a happy grin.

"Well…if you're sure…" He said, hopping quickly into the bundle and letting her tie it shut around his middle. He blushed as Rin giggled and patted his head a little before picking up the bundle and following Sesshomaru outside to the garden.

Sesshomaru raised one eyebrow slightly at the imp sticking out of the top of Rin's bag like a doll, but felt it best not to comment. He transformed quickly and smoothly, enjoying the feeling of the delicate brand-new spring grass under his massive paws. Rin let out an enormous sneeze beside him and he turned to her in time to see her sneeze violently again, several sakura petals flying out of one nostril. The cherry trees were just starting to bloom and were both beautiful in sight and in scent. Though, he had to admit it wasn't wise to try sniffing them with such a large nose. He made a soft noise of amusement and gently nuzzled her from shoulder to flank, pausing at her belly, which now bulged pleasantly to either side, as it should have in January. He got a fluffy tail to the face as she swatted him for finding a ticklish spot, and he stopped himself from giving her a gentle nip in return. Now was not the time to be playing. They needed to be on their way.

They were able to simply walk up to the palace that evening, a thing which rin was very grateful for. Gobodō-sama was waiting to greet them, as always, and as Rin and Sesshomaru returned to their humanoid forms, 3 guards also surrounded them for protection. Rin sighed at the sight, wishing it wasn't necessary. Remembering the imp in her bag, she quickly untied it and let him down, and jaken rubbed his numb legs and bowed in gratitude.

The next morning a servant arrived, not with food, but to escort them to a small side room off the main dining hall where a private feast had been set up for them. Azumi was already there and said that every food had been tested and was perfectly safe before hurrying out, having other duties she also needed to perform. Rin grabbed a small plate and started to grab a little of everything that wasn't already portioned in bowls, setting it on another nearby low table. She grabbed the pot of tea and poured a cup for herself as well as Sesshomaru, who was also picking through the selection with an approving eye.

Rin turned curiously at a light tap on the door before Gobodō-sama entered with her usual flourish. "The first of the mothers have gone back to the birthing rooms, and the festival has officially begun," She told them warmly, stepping to the feast herself. Rin let out a happy hum and offered some tea, but the older woman waved it away and produced a small bottle, fetching a dish for herself. "Would you like some, Sesshomaru? Many of the new fathers are already celebrating."

He nodded and she passed him the dish, getting another. "None for rin," He told her quickly, and she scoffed.

"As if I would give my pregnant daughter-in-law alcohol!" She took a sip and looked down her nose at him. "Honestly, you're as bad as your father sometimes. I think he would have offered me a drink if I hadn't already been in labor with you." She took another sip. "Then again, I might have taken it—it's hardly a painless thing—"

He had turned away from her, blushing faintly and not wanting to hear any of this. She chuckled at his discomfort and sat down, nodding to the cushion beside rin.

They ate and enjoyed themselves, listening to the feasting in the main hall and discussing the happenings as they understood them in the clans. Shortly before noon, the outer room suddenly fell silent and all three of them looked up at the sound of running feet. A midwife threw open the door and nearly yelled "Gobodō-sama! You are needed!" The white-haired woman got quickly but gracefully to her feet and hurried out.

"What was that about?" Sesshomaru asked in confusion. Rin shrugged. "Something must be happening that shouldn't be. Did you see her apron?" The midwife's apron had been nearly covered in blood—far more than should be normal for a birth. Rin hoped it was from more than one woman, but her nose told her otherwise. That was an awful lot of blood to lose…

It wasn't long before the Lady Mother returned with a small bundle in her arms. She stepped right up to Rin and thrust the bundle into her arms. "Feed him. I cannot."

Rin looked down in bewilderment as the yellow bundle of blankets squirmed and a tiny baby's face was visible. His eyes and ears were shut tight just like a newborn dog, and he had no markings, which surprised her. Most surprising was the fuzz on his head, though. Most of it was a pleasant medium gray, but the whole front part was a brilliant orange, just like the Ka. It was a lucky thing that Rin's milk had started to come in a few days ago, though she was confused why they hadn't taken the pup to his father to find a wet-nurse. That was surely the more normal thing to do. Still, she didn't argue, just settled down and shifted her layers, using the large blanket to keep herself modest while the little one fed.

Sesshomaru looked from his mate to his mother, who was pouring herself another drink. "What is going on here?"

His mother merely glared at him and downed the dish in one gulp. Rin looked up after taking another peek at the peacefully nursing newborn under his blanket. "Whose was he?" She asked softly.

"Chieko's." the answer was short and sharp, devoid of emotion. Rin's eyes filled with tears and she held the little one closer.

"What is going on?" Sesshomaru repeated, not liking being ignored. His mother shot him a glare and walked briskly from the room, taking the half-empty sake bottle with her. He turned to Rin, still expecting an explanation, and found her crying over the baby. "Rin…?"

"The only time you ever take a baby away from his mother," She explained to him, "is if she is dying…or already dead." His eyes widened as he finally understood, and he sat down beside her as she held the newborn up and fixed her clothing, laying his tiny head on her shoulder and patting his little back gently until the bubbles were out of his stomach.

"Then, Chieko…" He sighed. He had quite liked the kindly midwife. And that also explained the pup's bangs, as they had met her mate back at the new year, and he was a Ka. "Why didn't they take him to his father?"

"I don't know," Rin admitted, still cuddling the tiny bundle as she sniffled, the tears rolling down her cheeks. "That's normally what you do…maybe he's not here, but I don't know why he wouldn't be…"

"Good news," Gobodō-sama announced as she suddenly returned. "They think they can save her. If she pulls through tonight, she should be fine." She was speaking a bit louder than she had before for no apparent reason, and Rin might have said that her dainty pink tildes were growing as her cheeks flushed from the sake. "His father died a little over a month ago. If she does die, it will be your responsibility to find someone to raise him, both as the heir and the only currently mated male of Nami blood." They both nodded in understanding and Sesshomaru frowned as his mother turned the bottle up to drain it only to find it already empty.

"Mother," He said in a low tone, "You're drunk." He rose and took the bottle away from her. "It has been a trying day, but you've had enough to drink. Have some tea."

"Just who is the parent here, my son?" She sniffed angrily, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Mother…"

"Who is it, Sesshomaru? Me or you?"

"Mother, just sit down—"

"Enough, both of you!" Rin hissed in frustration, still cradling the newborn as he snoozed softly. "If either of you wake the baby I'll send you both out of here."

Gobodō-sama scoffed. "Look at his ears, girl. He's deaf. They won't open for at least two weeks. We're not going to disturb him."

"Well then, you're bothering me. And I'll still send you out." Rin let out a soft growl as the white-haired lady suddenly started to laugh loudly at her, obviously not taking the threat seriously. She sat down beside her daughter-in-law, tugging her son down beside her and pulling them both close. "You know, I really do care about the both of you. And I can't wait to become a grandmother. Yours will be even cuter than this little one." Both of them tried to get away from her, disliking the strong scent of alcohol she gave off.

"Mother…" Sesshomaru growled, "You reek. Get off."

"Oh, Shut up, Boy. You won't outrank me until the little ones get their stripes."

Growing impatient, Sesshomaru got back to his feet and picked up his mother by one arm. "Mother, please just go and sleep it off. You are embarrassing yourself." He marched her to the door and sent her out, watching until she made it into the hallway, then returning to his mate, who was gently bouncing the snoozing infant, completely unsure what to do with him. She looked down at the tiny peaceful face with a worried frown.

"Poor little thing…Poor Chieko…I hope she makes it…" A few more tears fell as she gently petted the fuzzy head. "It's terrible to be an orphan." Sesshomaru helped Rin to her feet and decided to retire to their room, letting Rin nap.

She handed him the newborn so she could settle into bed and curl up comfortably. He gazed down at the tiny face, offering a tiny smile at the shock of bright orange on his head, and carefully stroked his tiny nose with the pad of one finger. He was startled as a tiny but strong grip grabbed the finger, the tiny hand lacking claws. The pup tested his grip a few times, then let go, making an O with his little mouth as he yawned and went back to sleep. He carefully tucked the blanket around the little one and set him in the Futon beside Rin to rest, staying up to watch over them.

It was just after sunset when a midwife came calling. "I have been sent to inform you that the male pup born to Chieko of the Nami is now in your custody. We could not save her." Rin started to weep and cuddled the orphan close. "I will find a permanent nurse for him, so milady can rest. Surely she will not have enough milk for him." She bowed. "Do you need anything?"

"I wish to know," Sesshomaru said slowly, looking from the newborn Rin held so close to the midwife in front of him, "Is it possible to take the orphan in as our own, should we not find a suitable family?"


	54. Chapter 54

A/N: shoutout to squishyrabbit and the notification squad (SpiritedRanger, mystlight, suicuneluvr, happytello98 and pamelamoores, at time of writing)! You guys are awesome! I am loving all the reviews!

Shoutout also to SessRinFan for your play-by-play reviews of each chapter as you work your way through! I love seeing what you think of each new development, knowing there's more in store.

And welcome to SorrellKaren!

* * *

The young midwife hesitated at the surprising question. "It…has been done before, I believe," She stammered out with another small bow. "But only by those who already had a blood-related child to carry on their bloodline, or who could not have progeny of their own." Sesshomaru nodded at the information, looking at the pup as he began to fuss a little, sensing his 'mother's' distress. "Perhaps it would be wisest to look among his father's clan, the Ka, first?" She suggested. "It is the child milady carries within her that should become the heir after you."

Sesshomaru gave a deep nod and dismissed the woman, turning back to Rin, who was still sniffling. "I won't let them take him," She told him firmly. "Not unless you can promise me he'll be as well cared for as I could do." He gently wrapped an arm around his young mate and pulled her close to his side, gently petting the newborn's exceptionally soft fuzz to help calm him. The pup squirmed and soon quieted, reaching a hand out again. Rin bounced him gently, starting to smile as her tears dried.

"I will see what I can do, Rin. But it may be out of my ability to keep him. Our child must be the heir." She nodded, frowning sadly, and curled back up to sleep through the night.

At dawn the next morning, even before the servants had come to bring breakfast, Gobodō-sama arrived, having heard the news just after them but not wanting to disturb their night's rest. She knocked sharply before entering, not even giving time for her son to answer the door. Her eyes immediately fell on the newborn as her daughter-in-law sat up and gently cradled him, comforting the tiny pup and rubbing her swollen belly with her free hand. "You still have the Nami pup?"

Sesshomaru frowned at her curt tone. "Yes. I am sure you were informed that his mother died last night, so he is in our custody."

"I shall help you ask after his family, then." But when she stepped forward with hands outstretched, Rin gave a soft warning growl and held the pup tighter, even baring her teeth slightly at the white-haired woman. "Give him to me, Girl. He isn't yours."

"Mother," Sesshomaru moved slightly between the two women, "Why do you glare at the child so?"

"How should I put this?" She mused, turning to him. "That pup is the offspring of a midwife and a healer. He can never become a warrior as your sons must." She turned back to glance at the little one's tiny hands. "He lacks claws, even. A Ka is a poor choice of cross-breeding if you intend any sort of fighter." Rin growled again, a little louder.

"He has no need of being a fighter. The child Rin carries will be the heir, and he shall be a warrior as I am. This little one only has need of a family to protect and raise him, and I see no reason we could not provide that."

Gobodō-sama scoffed in his face. "This is no time to get sentimental, my son. You are simply feeding off your mate's instincts. Rin is no better than a broody hen—she will raise anything she can."

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes, sick of not being listened to, and walked out of the room without another word, heading for the gardens. "Perhaps you will listen to me as you once did!" His mother called after him, but he ignored her. He paused at the end of the hallway when he heard Rin growl in warning again, then heard a sharp slap. He couldn't help the slight smirk as he saw his mother quickly retreat from his room, her cheek bright with the imprint of Rin's fingers.

Sesshomaru only had a few minutes of peace under the blooming sakura before his mother came out to bother him again, the mark fading from her cheek as she rubbed it lightly. "You don't need to keep the child. I'm sure once you give him away your mate will only pine after him a little." He ignored his mother, turning his head away from her and crossing his arms like a petulant child. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned his scowl on the little white-haired woman. "I want an explanation as to your behaviour. Especially why you allowed Rin to hit me."

He gently shrugged her hand off but grudgingly turned to her. "How are we to know that the child will be properly cared for, if we give him up?" He asked in a flat tone. "You said it was my duty to find the child a suitable family, and I have. It is with me, and Rin."

Gobodō-sama's eyes narrowed. "That is not what I meant at all!" She corrected him. "It is your duty to find someone who can care for him, not raise him yourself!" She scoffed at the ridiculous misunderstanding and waved a dismissive hand. "Just let the Ka have him. So long as he is healthy, who cares who does it? Love isn't a necessity."

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes in return. Clearly his mother did not understand. "So you had no love for me when you raised me?" He asked her coldly.

She looked startled at the accusation. "That is a very different thing!" she insisted. "To not love your own pup is a terrible thing indeed!" She looked down, remembering this season centuries ago, when her own belly was impressively large. "I loved you from your first kick, my son—but this pup is not yours. You have your own coming. Above all else, you must care for them."

"Why do you think me so incapable of care? You think I would not love my own child just because I was caring for another?"

"I didn't say that."

"You did not need to put words to your opinion." He frowned at her, disliking the suggestion because he knew his mother was not alone in that thought. Many still expressed shock that he had found a mate at all. He hated it, but understood where it came from.

"Sesshomaru…" His mother looked rather shrewdly at him, "Do you wish to keep the child also? It is not only your mate trying to sway you?" When he gave a slow, serious nod, she sighed and her small shoulders drooped slightly. "Very well. There is no need to ask after the pup's family. I did so last night, and he has none. Neither father nor mother had siblings and all grandparents are already gone. Truly he is an orphan." She sighed more deeply and glanced toward the palace. "I suppose I should get a wet-nurse for him, then…Rin must stay healthy for her birth in the coming months." She turned her body to face the palace also and strode away with her usual regal step, leaving him in the garden to continue thinking about all that had happened in just a single day of the festival.

He was able to spend a few minutes alone before he was again interrupted, though this time he didn't mind. The Captain of the Guard bowed when he saw him and left, leaving Rin to walk over to her mate with a smile. "I think your mother has come around," She informed him.

"Oh?"

"She just came with a nurse to take care of 'her future grandson'," She told him cheerfully. "And good thing, too—our pup's been trying to break my ribs! I think they can tell their milk is being stolen." She rubbed her belly and let out a huff of pain as a tiny foot left another imprint on her stomach. "You stop that!" She scolded her bump. "They're so strong already…" She sighed, offering a soft smile.

Sesshomaru hummed in amusement and laid his hand on the spot she had been rubbing, shocked at the force—though of course it was really quite small—that the pup's tiny foot managed to produce. "Now now, little one, you're not even ready for your milk yet. Settle down." A pair of feet seemed to drum against his palm for a moment, then the feeling went away.

"Are you going to join me for breakfast? We're here another four days." They went back inside, but along with breakfast was a midwife holding two squares of white cloth, making sure they didn't touch her skin.

"I need your scents," She explained, passing one cloth to each of them. "The nami pup imprinted on you as his parents and refuses to rest now." Rin glanced to Sesshomaru, watching him rub the cloth against his cheek much like a cat did to items and people it liked. She quickly copied him, feeling a bit silly about it. Just as they handed the two cloths back to the midwife, Rin heard crying from down the hall, coming closer. "He won't eat either," complained the wet-nurse, bouncing the furious infant.

"Here, just let me take him—" Rin said, holding up her hands, but the midwife stopped her with a knowing smile.

"No need. Watch, milady." She took the cloth that Rin had given her by one corner and dangled it above the fussing baby's nose. Within seconds he had quieted and was reaching eagerly toward the scent, nose wiggling like a rabbit's, almost. "Pups this young rely almost entirely on scent, as they can neither see nor hear," She explained, draping the small square on the wet-nurse's shoulder and smiling wider as the pup immediately started rooting for milk, following the scent of his adopted mother.

"Can't he stay in here with us, when he isn't being fed?" Rin asked, holding out her hands again for the newborn.

"It's best that he doesn't. We don't want your body to prioritize producing milk over your pregnancy. You must stay healthy for your birth, as much as possible. Firstborns are always the hardest, because you just don't know what's going to happen." She sighed and nodded as the two women left, taking the infant with them, and started to pick at her food, no longer feeling hungry.

"What is wrong, Rin?" Sesshomaru asked, concerned by his darling's sudden shift in mood. She let out a deep sigh.

"Nothing…maybe I am just a broody hen, like your mother said…" She started to sniffle. "I just wanna make sure he's okay…" She started to wipe her face as tears began to fall thick and fast, unable to stop herself from crying. She quickly grew frustrated as the tears refused to stop, streaking down her face try as she might to dry them. He gently wrapped an arm around Rin and rubbed her back, reassuring her that it was normal to lose control of her mood, crying especially. When she finally got them stopped, she decided she wanted a nap, and he let her rest, going for a walk around the palace.

The first person he ran into was the shift captain, a Mori man, who was speaking with one of the guards brought in for the whelping festival to keep the males away from the restricted areas. They were discussing how odd it was that some of the clans had not come that year. "I heard the northernmost passes were closed, though—" "That's not true, the Mori came and we have to use the same passes! They were definitely clear."

"What's this about some clans not coming to the festival?" Sesshomaru asked, frowning in suspicion. The captain excused himself and the Ka guard walked with Sesshomaru, explaining that the Dō and Shiro-yama clans had refused to come, saying that the passes were too dangerous for their women. "Personally, I can believe it—have you heard about the wolves raiding the north?" He asked, glancing to his lord. "We lost many men, including Kaito, one of our finest captains." Sesshomaru nodded, noting that the name he gave sounded vaguely familiar. "I'm glad the attacks are over now. The Mori were hit the hardest. Their entire ruling family was almost wiped out. And I'm glad someone's going to adopt Kaito's firstborn, since the mother's gone now too, I guess. Poor thing probably died of a broken heart or something." Sesshomaru nodded again and raised an eyebrow as the guard gave a fond little chuckle. "I met his woman once. How he managed to snag a nami when she was bigger than him, I'll never know."

That made Sesshomaru stop in his tracks in momentary surprise as he realized why the name was familiar. "You said he was a warrior?" He asked in confirmation.

"That's right, a captain of ten men, one of our best. Why?"

Sesshomaru shook his head and kept walking. "Someone told me that the orphan pup could not be a warrior, because he was a healer's child." He stopped again as the guard laughed loudly at that.

"Don't people know we're one of the best fighting forces of the InuYōkai?" He asked, clawless hand resting on the hilt of his sword at his hip. "Only the women are proper healers among us. You know the old saying—'the Ka have a nose for herbs and a nasty bite'." He grinned, baring his impressively long upper fangs deliberately. "We might not have claws, but we're far from harmless. You go correct that baka for me, eh, milord?" He headed off with a smile, heading for the kitchens.

Sesshomaru chose to wander in a different direction, soon catching a familiar scent and going to see what they were up to. Azumi was sitting in a small room nearby the kitchens, sorting and counting herbs. She looked somewhere between focused and angry and didn't seem to notice his approach until he was standing right in front of her. "Azumi?" The girl jumped and accidentally sliced her finger with the small knife she was holding, sticking the bleeding finger in her mouth for a moment until it healed.

"I'm glad you found me," She said briskly. "I've been too busy to come to you." At his arched brow, she sat up straighter. "I'll get right to the point. That woman, Chieko, yesterday, she was murdered."


	55. Chapter 55

A/N: happy summer holidays to all my fans! Also, if anyone has little ideas they want to see done with Inu and the gang, go ahead and send me a PM and I might make your idea a short story with the InuYasha Shorts Collection!

Saturday (maybe teaser?) chapter!

* * *

"Murdered?"

Sesshomaru repeated the word in slight shock, looking to Azumi for confirmation. She nodded deeply. "She was given an herb that prevented her body from healing, and she bled to death."

"Are you certain of this?"

The servant girl nodded again, looking very sad suddenly. "I know poisons and herbs, milord, you know that. My best guess is that it was made from the same plant that Nise no Tsuki is derived from." She shivered slightly. "I was there when she died. As soon as Aki called me in and I saw her I knew it was too late to save her."

Sesshomaru sighed, not bothering to try comforting her as he had no idea how. "Who could have done it?"

"The herbs could have changed hands many times on their way to her. I am not the one to ask." She looked down, going back to sorting herbs. "Aki may know, if you can find her. I do know that the woman's drink was brought by a kitchen servant, rather than a midwife, because her water broke very suddenly."

Sesshomaru thanked Azumi for the information and quickly left, wondering where he would be able to find the Royal Midwife in the middle of the festival. He was most of the way toward the forbidden wing of the palace—forbidden for males, at least—when she suddenly bustled right past him. "Aki!"

"I'm busy! If you need to talk, walk with me!" she said over her shoulder, not even breaking stride. He quickly hurried after her, catching up to walk beside her. "What is it, Sesshomaru-sama? Is Rin-sama well?"

"She is," He quickly assured her. "However, it has come to my attention how the Nami woman, Chieko, died."

"Oh…" She realized what he was referring to quickly. "Yes. I brought your servant girl in, since she knows so much about herbs, and she confirmed my suspicion. I'm sorry it was too late to save her—she was one of my best underlings, and the last Nami female from the higher bloodline." She nodded to herself and continued, "Did I hear correctly that you are going to adopt her son?"

He nodded, not too concerned with how she knew when he had hardly made the official decision himself. "Do you know who handled the tea?"

"The main pot of water is watched by Akemi, Azumi's mother, and the two of them handle the herbs as well, and the midwives usually get herbs for their charges personally. Chieko was a rare case, as she went into labor unexpectedly quickly and her personal midwife hadn't arrived yet. A different kitchen servant brought her tea."

"Do you know who it was?"

"Am I to know every palace servant?" She quipped, glancing sideways at him. "He was a Shiro-Yama, I believe. White hair and marks identical to yours, only he was barely as tall as me and lacked a moon, of course." She reached her goal and bustled off, leaving him to go to the kitchens to seek the man.

The kitchens were every bit as busy as they had been at the new year, with servants of nearly every clan scurrying to and fro, making food and keeping fires burning. As he stood in the doorway, someone called in his direction, "Masaki, don't just stand there! Come help me with the firewood!" The man went pale as he realized—too late—that it was his master, not his friend. Sesshomaru strode up to the man briskly, who quickly offered a deep bow and an apology, which he ignored.

"Have you seen a Shiro-Yama servant with markings like mine recently?" He asked calmly, and the man quickly nodded.

"Of course, Sesshomaru-sama. You mean masaki. He was just here a minute ago, but he ran out for some reason. He's been on edge all day—it's his daughter's firstborn." The man went back to stacking firewood while he spoke, trying not to get behind on his duties.

"Do you know where he might have gone?" Sesshomaru asked, mouth drawn in a thin line.

"I would guess to the forbidden wing. He was muttering something before he ran off, about unfinished business or something, and he seemed pretty scared. That's very unlike him." He finished his stack of firewood and started on the next. "If you find him, send him back. This is a two-person job."

Sesshomaru nodded and hurried out again, cursing the many times he had crossed the palace in the space of an hour. It was fairly easy to find the man he was seeking—he was making quite a fuss, held in a Ka guard's arms as he kicked and struggled. As Aki had said, the Shiro-Yama male was not only short, but small, and looked more like an adolescent than an adult and soon to be grandfather. He was as slight as Sesshomaru's mother, and every bit as feisty. "Let me go! Let me go! They're going to kill her!" He was yelling as he arrived.

"Who is going to kill who?" Sesshomaru asked coldly. "You, as you did Chieko?" The man finally stilled, turning to his master with frightened, wild eyes.

"The Dō men! They told me if I didn't get rid of the nami woman and her pup they would kill my daughter and grandchild! Please, you have to let me through!" He started to struggle again.

Sesshomaru growled low. The Dō and Shiro-Yama clans were not present at the festival and there should have been no one but the usual palace servants belonging to those two clans. "Where are they?"

"I don't know!" Masaki insisted, struggling harder as the guard held him tightly. "Please, I—" He was distracted by the appearance of a midwife at the end of the short hallway, hurrying towards them. "Please, my daughter, is she-?" The midwife bowed low with a smile and told him that his daughter and her newborn daughter were both fine and healthy. Masaki's face crumpled and he started to weep with relief.

Sesshomaru turned from the crying man who was no longer a threat to one of the guards. "Go and find all members of the Dō clan present in the palace. Nobles to servants, I want every speck of the grounds searched!" The guard saluted and quickly hurried off to fetch the reserve guards. The guard holding Masaki had put his feet back on the floor, still keeping him restrained in case he tried to run, though it was obviously unlikely now. Sesshomaru turned back to him, still frowning dangerously. "You will not go unpunished for your deeds."

"I care not," Masaki sobbed, tears falling from his golden eyes. "My daughter, my granddaughter, are safe. Should I die today, I will know they are well. It is enough." Sesshomaru stepped back and nodded to the guard to take the man to the dungeon. He also had word sent to his mother to guard the newborn closely, in case anyone else had designs on his young life. That done, he hurried back to Rin, who was just stirring from her nap, yawning and stretching, rubbing her swollen belly with a soft smile.

Rin looked up in surprise as her beloved suddenly returned, looking a bit harried. "Is something wrong?" she asked, struggling to her feet. He helped steady her and pulled her close, gently kissing the top of her head.

"It is nothing you need concern yourself with. Not yet, at least. I will explain later." He looked down at her face, which was frowning, now, concerned for him and whatever he wasn't telling her. He gently tucked a loose lock of hair behind one of her delicately pointed ears, resting his hand on her cheek for a moment, rubbing the marking on her cheek with his thumb. He was saddened to see so much worry in her liquid brown eyes—worry for him, for herself, for the pup she carried and the one they would soon adopt, for the enemies who were clearly still out there, and more, Sesshomaru was sure. He wished he could take her fears and worries away, but many he could do nothing about. He tilted her chin up to give her another gentle kiss, then stepped back as he heard running feet.

"Milord! They are assembled in a conference room for you. We found five. And do you want their mates as well?" Sesshomaru nodded and the man hurried off again. He turned back to Rin, who looked even more confused and worried than before. "I will return shortly, Rin. Do you need anything?" She shook her head and let him go with a slight shooing motion, watching him leave as quickly as he had come. What was going on?

Sesshomaru was rather displeased to find the first face to meet his was the furious Azumi's. she seemed to be fighting back a growl of frustration. Another was a blonde half-Umi child clinging to Akemi, Azumi's mother, and an Umi male was holding both of them close for protection. The last two were men, and unfamiliar to Sesshomaru. "Guards," He said calmly, gesturing to the women and the Umi male, "These are free to go."

"Why are we here?!" Azumi demanded of him. "We have work to do!"

"I know," He replied evenly. "I am here to find a murderer, and I know you are innocent."

"A murderer?!" She repeated incredulously. She pointed sharply to her terrified half-sister. "Does Kyoko look like a murderer to you?!"

"No," He replied evenly, his patience wearing thin. "I was not specific enough in my instructions, clearly. As I said, you are free to go and resume your duties, and I suggest you do so." She finally got the hint and hurried out, leaving only the two shifty-looking males who seemed to be eyeing the guards in search of a means of escape. "You two," he stepped in front of them, frowning slightly. "Where have you come from? I was told no one from the Dō or Shiro-Yama clans made the journey this season as the passes were too dangerous."

"Well, we were told to stay back at the new year," Said one of the men. "I guess the kitchens were a bit understaffed so they asked for us. And it's nicer here than back home for sure."

"You're kitchen servants?"

"That's right, milord," Confirmed the second man with a nod. "We've got jobs to get back to also."

"You had access to the herbs and the tea."

"No we didn't!" The first man immediately said. "We're rice-makers, we don't serve tea!"

"Nevertheless," Sesshomaru frowned slightly deeper, growing more suspicious at their twitchiness, "You were in the right place at the right time."

"What has that got to do with anything?" The man insisted. "You picked us out because we're Dō. What does our clan have to do with some dead Nami woman?" Sesshomaru's eyes instantly narrowed. He had not made any mention of whose murder he was investigating, and he knew that no one knew Chieko's death was considered a murder except 4 people, one of which was him.

"I never said I was looking for the murderer of a Nami. How did you know?" The men immediately realized they had made a mistake and tried to backtrack. "W-well, that's the only death been reported here, so it must've been that, right?" Sesshomaru stepped back from the men and nodded to the guards. "Take them to the dungeons and strip them of anything that may pose a threat."

"Hey! Get off me!" As one of the men was grabbed, he pulled a small knife from somewhere and stabbed the guard before a blow to the head knocked him unconscious. The men were quickly bound and taken away, both stripped of their knives. Sesshomaru stayed as a healer was summoned for the stabbed guard and the wound was cut and cleaned, as the knives were poisoned with Nise no Tsuki, as the one from the assassin months ago. After being sure that everyone was all right now, Sesshomaru returned to Rin, who hugged him as soon as he came in.

"It is all right, my dear. The murderers have been caught." This did nothing to calm her, as he had hoped, for he had forgotten she knew nothing about the situation.

"What?! Murderers!"

"Chieko did not die naturally. She was killed, but I have found and apprehended those responsible. They will be punished." She put her forehead on his chest as he spoke, starting to cry.

"But why? Why would they kill her? Because she was my friend?" Rin sniffled.

"I do not know. But all is well now."

"…I want the pup." She looked up at him, begging with those soft brown eyes that could bend even his iron will.

"My dear, you know it is not good for you to keep nursing him—"

"I won't though. I just want to hold him, that's all. I have to know he's okay, I have to see him…" She begged, those cinnamon eyes sparkling. It was useless to resist, and he didn't want to anyway. He sighed and nodded. "I will fetch him for you. Wait here." She cheered up instantly and went back to what she had been doing before he arrived—making an apparent nest of blankets, cushions and her fluff, driven by some sort of instinct or internal clock, she wasn't sure which.


	56. Chapter 56

A/N: here's hoping I get this done for posting on Sunday! ...okay, wrong sunday, but I did it!

also, can I just say...some of you scare me. you're practically out for blood and death...this is supposed to be fluffy and family and stuff!

* * *

Sesshomaru crossed the palace once again. He had already lost count of how many times he had done so today. He tapped gently at the frame of his mother's door, knowing she was in her room.

"What is it, my son?" She asked, sitting with the nurse who was charged with caring for the newborn until Sesshomaru and Rin officially took custody of him in a few months' time. The pup was snoozing softly in the nurse's arms, sniffing now and again as he fidgeted, making sure his mother's scent was still nearby him. As soon as Sesshomaru entered the room, the pup woke and started to squirm and fuss, recognizing his father's scent. "I already got your message. He is being guarded in here with me."

"Rin wishes to see the pup, to put her worries at ease," He explained calmly, motioning to the nurse. "And I wish to speak with you in private." The white-haired woman nodded to the nurse, who quickly left with the fussing pup to take him to Rin. She offered her son a seat on a cushion in front of her, but he remained standing.

"What is troubling you, my son?" She asked, noting the tension in his frame.

"Several things. I just apprehended two men from the Dō clan who obviously had a hand in the midwife, Chieko's, death," He began, frowning deeply. "As well as a Shiro-Yama man they threatened into helping them with their plot." His mother nodded slowly, looking up at him from her comfortable position on the floor, wondering where he was going with this. "In addition, there is a clear pattern in the gifts that Azumi sorted. Poison or drugs were most frequently found in the Dō and Shiro-Yama gifts of foodstuffs, as well as the Umi and Mori clan items, though both of those also seemed coerced, as they were poorly hidden and weak strength unlikely to cause lasting damage even if they went undetected."

Gobodō-sama nodded slowly again, beginning to frown. "And what do you propose to do with this information, my son?"

Sesshomaru was beginning to get irritated at her repeated reminders of his inferiority of position to her. The repetition of 'my son' also made him feel as if she was not remotely taking him seriously, speaking as if he were a child weaving a tale to get someone else in trouble.

"We have plenty of evidence. If we strike now, while they are unprepared, we can—"

"Unprepared?" was the word the dainty woman picked out, raising a fine white brow as he stopped to stare at her, golden eyes revealing his frustration. "What makes you think a person or group so confident as to make such an easily trackable trail is unprepared for a fight?"

"They may not yet realize we have traced everything back to them! We need to strike quickly!"

"And who, exactly, are we striking?" She challenged. "All the Dō clan? And the Shiro-Yama too, as they seem to be rather implicit in the plotting and execution of these plans?" She challenged, a sharpness entering her tone. "This is the work of a small group at best, perhaps only a few individuals. Yet you would dare to risk another civil war in an attempt to kill what is perhaps only two or three dissidents?"

A growl of greater frustration slipped out from between the man's clenched teeth and he began to pace to and fro in front of the woman, who was still seated, though sitting up now, watching him closely. "We must do something! They cannot remain unpunished for their many crimes, or they will only grow ever more bold in their attempts to undo us!"

To his flaring anger, his mother slowly nodded a third time. "That is what we must do. As it is, we will have little cooperation should it come to a war. The clans will answer our call to aid, and most are loyal to us, though they will be grudging at best. If we wait for those among the clans to reveal their hand, we may be able to avoid a war altogether, if we're very lucky." She looked up at him with a deep frown of concern. "I worry as much as you, my son. We never know what way the enemy may strike next, or if their plan at any time may yet be successful. But that is no reason to rush in blindly. Your father taught you battle strategy, I know he did. You know tactics like that will only get more innocent blood spilled on our behalf. Enough has been shed to water the ground for generations. We must not make rash decisions when our opponent has likely spent centuries plotting for every eventuality."

Though the woman's calm words angered him further, he knew very well that she was right. Jumping in blindly had nearly cost him his life just weeks ago, and he could not afford to make such a mistake again. "We have those men in the dungeon," He said, grasping at anything he thought would help his position. "They can be interrogated. I'm sure they have valuable information of some kind. Perhaps they can lead us to the responsible parties."

"Perhaps," the irritatingly calm woman confirmed. "We shall see, certainly. But for now, there is nothing to do but wait for the enemy to show their hand, or make a mistake. Their confidence may yet be their undoing." She finally rose to her feet and caught her son's shoulder, making him stop and turn quickly to face her, looking ready to growl and bare his teeth in frustration and upset. "Sesshomaru," She addressed him directly, "I trust you to take the throne when your pups get their stripes. That is now only months hence. Do not betray that trust, for it is not only mine to give, but all the clans', who pledged their loyalty at the new year. It is no longer only you that you must concern yourself with." The proud and angry man before her seemed to deflate a little, and, perhaps she imagined it, but for a moment she seemed to see only the lost little half-grown boy who had once run to her for advice on everything his father would not explain to him. "You should return to your mate, and the child. Both need you in times like this." He gave a soft sigh and half-turned toward the door, then back to her.

"There is one other thing I wanted to discuss. Why did you lie to me about the pup's lineage?"

"How did I lie?"

Sesshomaru's frown returned. "You said he was the son of a midwife and a healer. Yet his father was Kaito, one of the most respected Ka captains. A warrior in title and deed. So why did you lie?"

"I was uncertain who his father was. I assumed the Ka only served as guards during the whelping festival. Certainly I have never visited their lands for myself." She sighed. "Do you honestly believe I would lie to you deliberately?"

"If it caused you to gain something, I believe so." His words and tone were quite firm, and a bit accusatory.

Gobodō-sama scoffed and looked away a little. "I am hurt you think so." But, he noticed, she did not deny his accusation. "Now go. Your mate could use your comfort, I am sure."

As the man left again, the dainty woman returned to her cushion. The time would not be far distant, now, when he would have to take up arms in some way. She only hoped it would be as Taishōgun, with a full army to face the threat, rather than as a Taishō with whatever troops he could scrounge up…

* * *

Sesshomaru returned to his room across the palace to find Rin sitting with the nurse, chatting softly as Rin held the pup, who seemed to be sleeping much more deeply in her gentle embrace. His darling mate looked up as he entered, offering him a gentle smile. "What did you talk about?" She asked him, yawning softly before he could manage to respond. "It has been a long day, hasn't it?" She mused. Rin laid the infant in the little sort of bassinet she had made in her nest out of her own moko-moko, laid in a ring. She then laid down beside it, wriggling and quickly getting comfortable. The nurse was frowning in some sort of concern.

"What is it?" He asked the orange-haired and teardrop-marked woman, who turned to him. In a low voice, she told him, "She is too early to be nesting as she is, Sesshomaru-sama. Much, much too early."

He frowned, looking to his mate, who was already peacefully sleeping next to the newborn, and back to the nurse. "It could be nothing," she continued softly, "But it likewise could be a very bad sign. You should have Aki-sama check her, to make sure all is well."

"What trouble could it cause, if she nests? Surely there's no harm in it." He found it rather comforting and charming, honestly. She had even made him a supremely soft and comfortable spot in the pile of blankets and cushions. But the nurse quickly shook her head.

"Her instincts clearly know what time of year it is," She noted. "And being around all the other new mothers, as well as a newborn she has more than once fed, will also strengthen those instincts. And, if her body responds as her instincts are…" She trailed off, unwilling to finish the thought, but he could.

"What are you saying? Will she whelp early?" He looked back to his sleeping mate again, who had a little smile and a small hand resting on her swollen belly. She was hardly halfway through the period Aki had said it would take for the pup to grow and develop within her. She still looked comfortably round to him, nowhere near ready for something like that. And if she wasn't ready, neither would the pup be.

"It could be a possibility. Again, have Aki-sama check her over, to ensure such a thing is not happening. You may need to take her home, away from the mothers and pups, in order to protect her and the heirs." He gave a nod of understanding and hurried off to fetch her, luckily catching her in a brief lull between working. She agreed to come as soon as she had finished her food, and he quickly returned to Rin, gently waking her so she would be less startled by their sudden visitor.

A few mercifully short minutes later, the Royal Midwife bustled in, all business, and went straight for Rin, immediately starting to pull the layers of her robes apart so she could reach the area she needed to check. Rin was quite alarmed at the abrupt intrusion and yelped loudly in terror, grabbing at her mate to get him to protect her. He nodded curtly to aki, knowing she needed to do what she was doing, and hugged Rin's upper torso tightly, letting her cringe into him and cry, murmuring sweet nothings while the midwife worked as quickly and efficiently as she could.

In a few moments, Aki was finished and sat up. "Take her home," She ordered curtly. "Carry her. Azumi will accompany you. If she begins to have pains, stop and have the servant give her herbs which I will send with you. Send for me if I am needed." She then stepped forward and took the pup, returning him brusquely to the nurse and ordering her out. Rin was still sobbing in her mate's arms, now curled in as much of a ball as she could manage from the moment Aki released her. He apologized profusely as he held her tight, rocking slightly, though he doubted it would do anything to soothe a pain this deep and fresh for her. When she finally stopped crying some time later, he gently tucked her tightly into her nest and got to packing, gathering everything quickly and resigning to carrying it all. He called for Jaken—the foolish toad had a hangover since discovering the sake—and relayed Aki's instructions, charging him with ensuring all was ready for their departure as soon as possible.

Within a few minutes, they were ready to depart with the evening sun. the sun had barely given way completely to stars when Rin began to whimper afresh, squirming a little between Sesshomaru's withers.

 _Rin?_

"I-It hurts…"


	57. Chapter 57

A/N: sorry, all, that this has taken a while, but it needed to be just right! I also wound up with a loaner computer, started school (3 japanese classes) AND lost the last half of the chapter I DID have. Life is hard.

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Sesshomaru quickly stopped dead in his tracks, making Azumi also stop in alarm. Being not a full-blooded InuYōkai, she did have a true form, but it was comparatively small—only about 5 feet high—and she had no flying ability, so she had to run. Sesshomaru landed as fast as possible and returned to his human form, carefully catching his delicate mate and laying her gently on a soft patch of ground, trembling as his transformation settled. He cringed as another pain seemed to ripple through Rin, making her whimper.

"Azumi, the herbs." She, too, had shifted, and grabbed her satchel, pulling out a bottle of sake and a thin cake of foul-smelling herbs. Dropping the herbs into the bottle, she began to shake it vigorously before offering it to Rin. "wait," Sesshomaru said, stepping forward in concern, "She can't have sake!"

"do you know why not?" Azumi challenged shortly. "drink quickly, Rin-Sama." She gently held the woman's head up so she could swallow more easily, but Rin coughed, gagged and spluttered at the horrible taste and smell. Noticing Sesshomaru still hovering, Azumi snapped, "anything more than a sip or two of sake can disrupt labor, and that's just what we need! Why don't you help me?"

Sesshomaru quickly knelt beside Rin and helped her sit up a little, apologizing when she whimpered again. He gently pinched her nose shut so she would have to taste the foul brew a little less as Azumi tipped her head back and poured the stuff down Rin's throat. Rin shuddered violently once it was all gone, and swallowed several times, before begging for water. Azumi let her drink half a canister of water, then Rin seemed to get groggy. The pains stopped and she mumbled incoherently before falling very deeply unconscious.

Azumi gathered up her items and packed them back in her satchel. "she will sleep at least until tomorrow noon. The herbs are very strong." She looked very worried. "If the pup were born now, so early, it would be little more than a miscarriage…but I am even more worried. These herbs are not made for repeated use, but as a last resort. If she begins to labor again, I won't have a choice but to let her deliver." She swallowed thickly as Sesshomaru scooped his beloved into his arms, choosing to continue in his usual form so he could carry her close to his heart. He did not say a word, and only his eyes revealed some of the deep worry he felt, as his face was his usual unfeeling mask.

They reached the manor as dawn broke and Sesshomaru quickly bolted inside, laying Rin down on the futon. Azumi followed him, appearing with several lengths of soft silk in her hands. "Aki's orders, Sesshomaru-sama. If she were to need bed rest, she must be tied down." He gave a single slow nod and fell to his knees beside his beloved as the maid passed all the lengths under the futon and then tied them with gentle but firm knots at various points across Rin's body. He reached out a tentative hand and placed it on her swollen belly, head hanging in worry. _Please…please, just wait a little longer…it is not yet time for you to join this world…_

"Sesshomaru-sama? Can I get you something? Food, or another futon?" Azumi asked as she finished tying the last knot.

"I am fine."

The servant girl nodded and went back to Rin's head, feeling her forehead gently with the back of her hand. "good, she's warm again. Aki will be here in another two days, when the festival concludes. I can monitor her until then."

"how early," Sesshomaru asked, looking up at her, his hand still on Rin's belly, "can they be born, and survive?"

She shook her head. "I…I don't know. I think at least another month…but I am no midwife." A tiny foot, the size of Rin's pinky nail, not counting the claw part, pressed faintly against its father's palm, proving how small the pup still was. He continued to frown, and Azumi bowed a little. "if you are certain you don't need anything, then I shall leave you to sit vigil. Please call me when she wakes, if either of you need anything." He gave neither word nor gesture to even indicate he had heard, every fiber of his being focused on his beloved and the tiny new life within her.

That night was another long one for Sesshomaru, as he sat beside his deeply drugged mate. He would have worried for her life if she hadn't been breathing deeply. The pup moved under his hand from time to time, kicking his fingers or palm with those tiny feet. He wondered how Rin put up with the sensation normally. He remained unmoving, his head bowed, though he did not sleep for even a moment.

Early the next morning, shortly after Sesshomaru had watched the sun rise, the maid Azumi returned with a tray full of hot breakfast enough for two, as well as a sweet-smelling tea. "Sesshomaru-sama, I really must insist that you eat," she said softly, bowing deeply. "she should start to stir soon. Shall I bring a cushion for you?" at his mute nod, she hurried out, returning in a few moments with a thick cushion from his study. At long last, he moved, getting slowly to his feet, as they had long since gone numb through the long night, allowing her to place the cushion so he could sit more comfortably on the hard floor. Azumi poured a cup of the tea and held it out, watching him take it and drink rather robotically. Through all this, he had not looked away from Rin. "please call if you have any more need, Sesshomaru-sama." He nodded faintly and she left.

It was about an hour later when Rin at long last began to stir. What terrible nightmares she had the night before…and, like some others, they had seemed so real…she tried to reach to rub the sleep from her eyes, but found her arm bound firmly to the bed. She started to growl.

"ah," Sesshomaru said in a soft voice, "you're finally awake."

"let me up," Rin replied with a soft growl, able to tell now that she was thoroughly trapped.

"I cannot do that."

"let me up, _right now,_ or this pup will be your _only_ one." It was clear she wasn't able or necessarily even willing to make good on her threat, so Sesshomaru wasn't really concerned. He offered a soft sigh and turned his gaze of fearful hardened-gold on her.

"I cannot do that. Rin, if I let you free, we will not have a child." She gasped at his words in shock, and he realized she did not remember the events of the harrowing night, most likely due to the powerful drugs. "it was foolish to take you to the whelping festival. We never should have done so. Surrounded by all the new mothers, your instincts overwhelmed you, and you began to whelp early. Far, far too early. Our pup would not survive with so little time to grow within you. And allowing you to nurse the orphan could only have made it worse."

At his explanation, Rin began to cry, then to sob softly in distress. "I'm sorry!" she exclaimed, sniffling. "I…I didn't know, I-I was just doing what felt right!" he gently wiped at her tears and petted her hair.

"I know, my love. I know. It was our fault, my mother's and my own, more than anything. But we were able to stop it. You must remain in bed, though, until the Royal Midwife says you may leave."

"and what am I supposed to do all day?" her nose started twitching at the scent of food nearby her, even though it was long cold by now.

"rest, relax, and recover your strength."

"and how long was I asleep?" she asked, noting the bright sunlight.

"all night, and it is long after sunrise now." He looked out, noting it was still around two hours to noon, so she had come out of the drugs a bit earlier than azumi had said. Hopefully, that was all right, or even a good thing.

"and you want me to rest?" she asked him incredulously. He simply nodded, picking up a bowl of soba from the tray for her and a pair of chopsticks, indicating that he would feed her if she cooperated with him. Once the young woman was fed, she blinked tiredly and yawned. Though of course she would never admit it, she knew she needed the rest, as her body felt drained of energy still. "can't you untie me?" she begged more than once, but he told her that no, it was the midwife's orders and he wasn't about to disobey, not with the two lives he cared most for (besides his own, of course) on the line. He kissed the moon on her forehead and kept petting her hair gently until she had gone peaceably back to sleep.

About an hour later, the maid Azumi returned with a tray of early lunch. "has she still not woken?" she asked with a bit of concern. Though of course she knew the herbs well, she had never had to use them before, and was worried she may have made a mistake. Sesshomaru waved a dismissive hand.

"She woke earlier, but is still tired. She needs the rest." Azumi nodded in understanding of her master's words and set down the tray. "is there anything else you need, milord? Oh, and Jaken wants to see you. He has the morning scroll delivery."

"when is Aki due to come?" he asked, taking a cup of tea from the tray.

"early in the morning the day after tomorrow, when the festival has concluded. I can send for her if need be?"

"no…" he looked to Rin, still napping peacefully. He was still upset over how rough the royal midwife had been with his mate in her haste to check her. Poor Rin had been terrified. "the day after tomorrow should be fine. You may send Jaken in with the scrolls. Have him set them on my desk across the room." Azumi bowed and moved off, and tiny feet soon hurried in, stumbling slightly under a huge stack of scrolls.

"is Rin-sama well?" he asked after dropping the stack on the low desk. Sesshomaru nodded softly, laying a hand on her belly again and rubbing gently, offering the ghost of a smile at the tiny kicks. "hmm…the pup must be very demanding, I suppose. It must be difficult to carry one's offspring inside like that." The little imp busied himself with unrolling the first scroll and pinning it down, pulling out fresh paper and getting a pot of warm water to make ink, making sure everything was in order for his master.

"Jaken."

"yes, milord?" he looked up, a bit concerned at his very flat tone.

"I need you to help me," he said. "I do not have time for paperwork when Rin needs my attention. You will have to do some of the work."

"of course, Sesshomaru-sama!" the imp straightened up proudly. "I will manage all of it, if you need me to!" he was, of course, just as little a fan of paperwork as Sesshomaru himself was, but if it was asked of him, he would certainly do it.

By the time Aki arrived, Rin was itching to be free, and feeling much better than she had just days ago. At the sight of the midwife, the pregnant woman immediately tried to escape, to no avail. Sesshomaru soothed her as the royal midwife checked her, much more gently than she had before, though also much more thoroughly. She straightened up afterward, washing her hands in a small bowl of water and drying them on her apron. "thank the Kami, everything is fine now. You had a very near miss, milady." She got to her feet to face them. "you may get up, now, so long as you take it easy for a while longer. Why don't you sit out on the porch? I'll have a cushion put out." As Rin was freed, she fled from the room as soon as she was able, and Aki turned to Sesshomaru. "there are a few things I wish to discuss with you."

"yes?" he turned away from her with a bit of disinterest, pouring them both a cup of tea that had cooled from breakfast and settling on his cushion, offering her the other, which she refused to take. He raised a silver brow at her in slight concern. What was she so wound up about? "speak."

"I have noticed that Rin shies away from me much more than normal for any woman. I first thought it was due to her differing upbringing as a human, but I think differently now." She took a deep breath and fixed him with a stern gaze, which rather surprised him. "remember, Sesshomaru-sama, now she is pupped she does not have desire as you might. Consider taking a concubine if you cannot control your urges."

Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed dangerously at the accusation as his cheeks turned pink with embarrassment and outrage. He set the teacup down heavily on the table to avoid crushing it in a too-tight grip. He had entirely forgotten that Aki had not been told of the attack of a few weeks prior. "you would accuse me of such indiscretion?"

"do not think to fool me. When a woman acts like that, it is _always_ a man's fault."

"regardless, it is not my fault. I would never act in any way that would put such fear in the eyes of my beloved." He looked down, which surprised the midwife. "when I went to meet with my mother at the palace, a berserker was sent after us…after Rin. She was…she was attacked, and I was not here to protect her." Aki gasped at the news. "was she-?"

"I do not think he succeeded," he said heavily. "nevertheless, he did much damage, visible and not. And though her wounds have long since healed, I fear there are scars she will always bear now, because I could not protect her as was my duty."

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A/N: thanks for waiting everyone! sorry this took so long, I just couldn't get it right.


	58. Chapter 58

A/N: I would make this part of a chapter bomb, but unfortunately my computer decided to bite the dust about a week before I was able to publish the last chapter. It will be at least 2 weeks before I can get a replacement, so progress will be slow at best. Sorry guys! I want to get to the good part just as much as you!

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Rin was sitting out on the porch in the comfortable early spring sunshine, reclining on a very fluffy cushion and listening to the birds. It was nearly the end of march and Aki was staying with the couple now, checking Rin almost every day, much to the young woman's discomfort and displeasure. She scowled a little at the thought of the check-ups, which were terribly invasive by necessity. She let out a sharp huff, not hearing the footsteps nearby until she looked up sharply as Sesshomaru settled beside her on the porch. Her mate offered a slight smile at the look on her face, knowing the line of her thoughts clearly. Truthfully he disliked the midwife's methods just as much as his young mate did.

When Rin leaned into her mate's fluffy moko-moko with a soft sigh of relief, his smile widened a little and he put a gentle arm around her. "Aki wanted to talk with us both at lunch. Are you ready to eat?" He took her faint growl as the obviously enthusiastic 'NO' it was, and chuckled. "Come on, my love. You know she is not a patient woman. Best we not keep her waiting." Another growl. "Rin…"

Finally, she sighed. "Oh, all right." Sesshomaru stood and helped her to her feet, amused by her front-heaviness as her belly continued to grow, seemingly by the day. As he had expected, Aki was already waiting for them in the dining hall, and fresh food was brought out as soon as they were seated. "What was it you wanted to discuss?" Rin asked the Royal Midwife stiffly, stabbing a dumpling rather than picking it up properly.

"Now that you're progressing into the second half of your pregnancy, and after the near miss you had not long ago, I want to put some rules in place for you, milady." Rin let out a depressed whine and Sesshomaru frowned. It was going to be up to him, most likely, to enforce whatever rules she set, because it was unlikely that Rin would willingly follow them. Noting their reactions, she gave a wry smirk. "Why don't I begin with what you can do?" She suggested. "You can eat and sleep as much and as often as you like. In fact, it would be best if you were eating a little more than you currently are. And I would also recommend massages, if you're comfortable with them, either from a servant or from Sesshomaru-sama, if he knows how." The pair nodded and the midwife continued. "In addition, I want you to go out hunting, once every few days or so. Small prey. Stretch your four legs." By now, Rin was smiling at the thought of relaxing comfortably or getting out to run every so often. "For now, the restrictions you have are very minor. I don't want you lifting anything larger than a teapot, and don't do too much running when you hunt. Go after easier prey." They both nodded in agreement and ate in a now companionable silence before Rin got up and kissed Sesshomaru's cheek, intending to go take an afternoon nap.

As sesshomaru got up to follow Rin, Aki held up a hand as she also got to her feet. "About the hunting. I don't want her hunting anything bigger than a sheep. Make sure she doesn't strain herself. Let her eat well and catch what she can for the time being, and only take her out a half-day's journey round trip. Once she can no longer make the journey out and back without stopping to rest, she will have more restrictions, but that should not be for a while, I think." Sesshomaru gave a small bow and Aki continued, "Also, now that she is closer to the end of her pregnancy, she may begin to have random pains. These are perfectly normal, though after the near miss she had, I will check her if they are too severe. I don't want you to worry. They are…sort of 'practice runs', if you will." She offered a small reassuring smile to the frowning male, and he simply nodded.

The next morning, Rin was up early, before the morning's scrolls had even come in. "Let's go hunting today!" She said excitedly, shaking Sesshomaru awake. He groaned slightly at her perkiness and enthusiasm, since she had kept him up half the night with her constant twitching whenever the pup chose to stretch or kick in her swollen stomach. He had hardly been able to rest since the festival began two weeks ago, in fact, and it was starting to show. Still, he couldn't deny his mate's liquid brown puppy eyes when she wanted something. By the time he had gotten to his feet and put on a jacket, Rin was already up and going through the wardrobe for something suitable. She turned at the sound of a quickly stifled yawn and giggled. "Aren't I supposed to be the one with no energy?"

"Yes, but you steal mine." Sesshomaru pulled on his hakama, tying the waist before bending to tie the bottoms around his knees, causing the legs of the pants to poof out as they always did. He pondered whether to put his armor on, since they were leaving the manor, but decided it was unnecessary for such a short excursion. The lands had been peaceful since the festival, for which he was grateful. He turned to see Rin having a little trouble with her own hakama, not too familiar with the garment herself. He smiled and helped her as she blushed bright pink with embarrassment. Once dressed, he took her hand to lead her outside the gate so they could transform.

Rin perked up once she was on four legs, sticking her pointed nose in the air and sniffing for prey. _I smell goats…_

 _Remember, Rin, nothing larger than a sheep._

 _Goats aren't bigger than sheep,_ she reasoned, starting to wander forward with her nose still in the air. He smirked a little at the sight of her bulging stomach and the fact that she was just beginning to occasionally waddle when walking. She would usually catch herself and stop, but not always. She soon put her nose to the ground and started to move faster, trotting after her prey, and he paced behind her, alert for any danger.

It didn't take long to hear goats nattering up ahead, and Rin stopped, licking her chops in anticipation. She watched the herd for a moment, deciding on her target, before charging in and getting the old arthritic goat on the outside edge of the herd. Sesshomaru charged in and caught two more from the herd's edge as they scampered a short distance away before turning to regard their attackers. He growled in warning as the lead ram seemed tempted to try his luck against the monstrous hounds, but the herd soon thought better of it and moved on. He gave his second goat to Rin, keeping the first for himself.

When Sesshomaru settled himself beside his mate to eat, he hardly expected to feel anything but the brush of her fur against his side. He certainly wasn't expecting the push of a tiny paw against his own abdomen where Rin's large belly was resting against him. Her head popped up at the unexpected sensation too, and she turned her head to look at herself, just as the paw pushed them again. She then turned to look at him as he huffed in amusement and licked some of the goat's blood from her snout gently. _It's all right. Did you not expect them to kick?_

 _I…I forgot they were a pup…_ She admitted softly in embarrassment, looking back at her flank once more in bemusement. Well, that was very understandable. She had spent very little time in true form, after all, and this was the first time they had been awake and kicking while she was in this form. He licked her face again, making sure she was clean, before getting up and suggesting they head back. But Rin had noticed something else and was snuffling towards a small sapling across the way that seemed to be quivering despite the lack of wind.

Rin sniffed cautiously at the crown of the sapling, which started to quiver even more. She then gave it a cautious lick before Sesshomaru could stop her. "Waah! Don't eat me!" The tree blurted before vanishing in a puff of smoke, revealing an adolescent fox. Rin let out a delighted noise and licked the fox again from fuzzy toes to bright orange hair, making him yell and complain "Bleah! Get off, get off!"

Sesshomaru, having the good sense to know the fox could not understand them in true form, shifted back, telling Rin to do the same, which she quickly did. The fox jumped in surprise. "Sesshomaru!" He then looked to his side. "Rin-chan!" He cheered in delight. The young woman giggled at the childish name she hadn't heard in years.

"Shippō, what are you doing out here?" Sesshomaru asked curtly. Foxes could, of course, roam where they pleased, as they didn't often cause enough trouble to be bothersome. However, he knew this young orphan had become bound to the miko and his brother by extension, and didn't think he often strayed too far. Perhaps things had changed though.

"Oh, Kagome sent me! I'm supposed to remind Rin-chan about Inu no Hi." Rin let out a soft 'oh' of understanding, then a small sigh.

"Oh, but, Shippō, I can't go to shrines anymore. Look at me. Yōkai aren't allowed." Both the boys looked at the girl in confusion. Where had Rin heard that? It wasn't true at all.

"Of course you can go! The kami like us. The mortals don't." He shrugged. "The next day is tomorrow, I hope that's enough time for you to get ready. I couldn't really figure out where to go to find you anymore." Rin nodded and offered her old friend a hug.

"Rin," Sesshomaru said once they were back at home and taking a bit of a relaxing bath, "Do you really wish to attend an Inu no Hi ceremony?" She nodded cheerfully, settled beside him in the large soaking tub. "You're supposed to do it in the fifth month, but that's for humans, so I think halfway will be suitable." She nodded again and offered him a shy kiss, the first in a little while. She often would peck his cheek or something similar, but this was the first proper kiss she had given in…well. He hummed in appreciation and she scooted a little closer on their submerged bench, offering more such gentle kisses, which he returned with great care. He was terrified of frightening her, or bringing up bad memories. After a moment, though, she stopped, looking down and away from him. "Rin?"

"You do not desire me anymore, do you?" She asked, still looking away from him, at the surface of the water next to them. "You see me as the midwife does- a vessel, a pedigree bitch carrying precious cargo, to be cared for and nurtured, perhaps, but not loved." He was shocked at her words, not understanding where they had come from.

"Rin, no! Of course I don't view you in such a way."

"Don't you?" She challenged, looking at him at last. "I am just as likely to wake out of your arms as in them anymore. I have not felt your morning stiffness against me for weeks. You have not once kissed me; you barely even touch me unless I make you." By the end of her accusation, she was crying, though this time he doubted it was her hormones to blame. Had he really been so aloof from her in his attempts to avoid scarring her further after her attack? She had looked away from him again as she cried, closing her eyes, and the next thing she felt was a gentle hand on her cheek. She looked up at the concern in his liquid gold eyes. Concern, and love-how could she doubt it?

"Rin, I did not realize I had been so distant. I did not wish to scare you, or in any way harm you further. What happened was already my fault, I should have been here to protect you-" She laid a gentle finger on his lips. "My mind," She told him, "Was terrified. I did not want anyone to touch me, even you, it is true. But my instincts were something else entirely. They wanted nothing more than some reassurance that you still wanted me after I had been tainted…and every day that passes more, that fear of losing you grows stronger…"

The next thing Rin felt was gentle but firm lips upon hers, then a feeling of weightlessness as her beloved scooped her gently from the bath, wrapping the both of them in towels and heading swiftly for their room.

The next morning, Rin woke and smiled widely. Not only was Sesshomaru's arm draped across her chest, his warm breath on her hair, but she could at long last feel the warm press of the rest of his body against her also, as was right and proper. What they had done yesterday evening was probably going to be frowned upon by the midwife, but it had certainly settled Rin's beast, and her mate's also, so it seemed.

Deciding she didn't want to get up quite yet, Rin let out a wide yawn and wriggled backward a little, closing her eyes and smiling as Sesshomaru pulled her gently closer with a contented sigh.

Then, She knocked.


	59. Chapter 59

A/N: **Saturday teaser chapter!** WOOHOO! I haven't been able to find many details about an Inu no Hi (dog's day) ceremony. Basically, women go on the day of the dog, with the days going in 12 day cycles just like the Chinese zodiac years. They go closest to their halfway point of their pregnancy. It's a blessing on both the woman and her unborn child that they both will have health and strength, and that the baby will be born with no complications.

As requested by a reviewer, a glossary of the clans with markings, territories and colors can be found at the end of this chapter.

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Aki had a bad habit of letting herself in whenever she wished to. They had only barely gotten her to start knocking rather than just barging in, as Sesshomaru had explained to the midwife that her intrusions frightened his young mate immensely. Today, though, Rin just let out a groan and rolled over into his chest to hide from the morning sun.

"Come on, love. Breakfast time."

"No…~" She whined, burrowing as far under the covers as she could as the midwife rapped impatiently on the door again. "Go 'way Aki."

At the muffled mumble of her name, the midwife got sick of waiting and barged in anyway, a tray of breakfast in hand, which she left on the table. "Come now, milady. If you're making the trip to a shrine today, I need to make sure you're in a fit state to be going."

Rin let out a soft groan and peeked open her brown eyes rather groggily, sitting up with a sigh of complaint and untying her sleeping robe. "Well? Hurry up," She grouched at the orange-haired midwife, eyeing the plates of breakfast she had brought in on the nearby table. Aki shot a look at Sesshomaru, who had also sat up when his mate did. She looked a bit shocked at the young woman's sudden change of attitude toward her, and set to work, nodding in satisfaction and helping her get dressed for the day. "You're all set, milady." She motioned to the food and Rin settled on her cushion eagerly and started on the meat. "Milord, a word."

Wondering what the midwife would want with him after giving Rin a clean bill of health, he rose and followed her outside the room, where she turned on him the instant the door was shut. "I think we just had a talk about this," She hissed sharply. "Keep yourself to yourself! She is far enough through her pregnancy that you could injure her without thinking!"

Sesshomaru leaned back sharply from the fiery-haired woman's sudden wrath, his face in his carefully neutral mask. He certainly didn't know he could injure her (or, presumably, the pup also!) with such amorous activity. "I would never hurt her."

"You could, very easily," She said in a very firm tone. "Your leavings could cause false labor pangs, and the farther along she is, those could easily become real. Do you really want that?"

"But, she wanted that, Aki. It wasn't just me. She was second-guessing herself as my mate after she was attacked. I had no idea that my desire to not hurt her further was having the opposite effect. I was aloof and she feared I had stopped loving her…" Some of his concern and affection for his mate showed through his careful mask and softened his face, and, in turn, the midwife's also.

"I understand. But please, don't do such things anymore. We simply cannot risk the heir, nor your mate, no matter what the flesh desires. As I said, consider taking a concubine if you find yourself in need of relief." He shot her another glare, as he was beginning to hate that word. The midwife stepped back, bowed, and left him to return to Rin, who was enjoying breakfast.

"Why were you talking about me? I know you were, or you would have talked in front of me," She said as he sat beside her to begin eating.

"It is nothing. The midwife worries too much about things that don't concern her."

"I should think I do concern you all, quite a bit. But at least we can go to the shrine today." She finished her last bit of food and stood, offering a peck on the cheek as she moved to put on layers so they could leave the manor soon. She was getting quite used to the layers and ties and could dress herself, despite her belly, faster than she had a few months ago.

It was a beautiful spring day as they neared the shrine they had chosen for the Inu no Hi blessing. Rin beamed at the bright red Torii gates that led up the small hill to the main building of the shrine and admired the stone statues that sat round about the grounds. She stepped forward confidently to walk under the gate—and bounced off an invisible wall. "Ow!" She reached out for it, bouncing her palm off the barrier. "What's this?"

"Weapons aren't allowed on the grounds," A voice sounded from a nearby statue of a fox. Sesshomaru looked to Rin, confused at the statement, but she blushed faintly and produced her dagger that she had hidden under her large jacket, in case of bandits on the road.

"Rin…" He sighed in slightly amused exasperation, "Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do," She sighed, reluctantly handing it over. "It's just a little extra protection, in case…"

He took it gently from her hand and nodded that she should go ahead while he found a suitable place to leave the weapon during their time in the shrine. Rin stepped under the first gate and waited for him to return. She offered her hand to bring him beside her, but he, too, was blocked from entering the shrine. "What is this? I am unarmed."

"You are stained with the blood of innocents," The voice from the statue stated firmly. "The Kami demand purity on their grounds." Sesshomaru looked toward the voice as a small 3 tailed white kitsune appeared, seemingly out of the statue that had been speaking.

"Innocents?"

"It needn't be recent, simply uncleansed," The kitsune informed him, leading him aside to a spring of pure water which was set up for purification. "Wash your hands, rinse your mouth and spit, and then wash a second time. You may choose to wash your feet as well, and I would recommend it." Giving a slight sigh, the InuYōkai sat on a nearby rock to remove his boots, leaving them with the dagger so he could wash.

When he was finished with the cleansing, the kitsune nodded in approval and returned with a pair of sandals for him to wear on the shrine grounds. "Your woman is waiting for you in front of the shrine proper. Remind the Miko not to use the bells on you, she forgets sometimes." Sesshomaru bowed and moved to pass under the torii, glad to find himself unimpeded, and was soon once more beside his mate as a silver-haired Miko with an impressively long ponytail came out to greet them.

"Welcome. I take it you have come for an Inu no Hi blessing?" The Miko asked with a deep bow. She held her hands out to one side, indicating the donation box, into which Sesshomaru put a sum of money, twice the traditional amount as he could certainly afford it. "I shall need your names," She told them, "Pack included."

"I am Sesshomaru, of the Tsuki clan," He stated clearly with another small respectful bow. Rin followed suit rather nervously. "Rin, of the Yume…I guess." This seemed to surprise the Miko and her ankle-length silver hair swayed a little in the breeze. "I see," Was all she said as she took them inside after clapping at the entrance and announcing them.

Another attendant, this one a younger single-tailed white kitsune, was prepared to strike the drum as needed while the old Miko performed the blessing. She wafted a blessed branch around them to complete their purification, then set it aside, almost picking up another instrument covered in ribbons and bells.

"Wait—not that, please." Sesshomaru spoke up politely, but quickly, and the Miko let out a soft gasp of remembrance and placed the blessed tool—which was made to drive away unwanted spirits and Yōkai alike—back down before any of the bells could sound. She turned and bowed very deeply, apologizing for her mistake before continuing the blessing, announcing their names for the kami of the shrine and chanting their requests for health and strength and an easy labor for Rin. When the bulk of the blessing was over, the Miko stepped forward with a long bit of cloth and a pair of charms and asked Rin to stand so that she could wrap the cloth and its charms around her swollen stomach. Rin did so, smiling softly and holding still as the Miko did her work. Since the grounds of this Inari shrine were full of the scent of the Kitsune who lived and served there, Rin didn't think much of the woman's odd dog scent, but Sesshomaru had already noticed it and was a bit on edge. By default, he did not want to distrust a servant of the Kami, but…appearances had been deceiving of late. The Miko bowed low, then stepped aside, allowing them both to give personal prayers at the shrine before the ceremony concluded. Once they had done so, she smiled and stepped forward again.

"I never dreamed I would see the day the Yume would return," She told them, tiny tears seeming to form in her eyes with some deep emotion.

"Return?" Rin questioned, giggling slightly. "I see you are old, Miko, but surely not old enough to have been there before!" But the woman smiled and bowed deeply to Sesshomaru.

"Thank you," She said, "For allowing me to see my kin again before I die." The man's eyes widened with understanding, but Rin still looked a bit confused as the woman's ponytail swayed again…only, they were inside, and there was certainly no breeze…oh. It wasn't a pony's tail at all…it was a dog's.

Rin let out a gasp of shock and understanding. "You're a hanyō! A Yume hanyō!" She exclaimed, looking at the wizened woman much closer now. Her ears were not very pointed, and her hair and fur were well silvered with the age of centuries, but it seemed obvious now. The Miko nodded, that same small smile on her lips.

"Aye. The last, for nearly a millennia. I was ten when news of the massacre reached this shrine, naught but a tiny child. Only living with my mother here in the shrine saved me." She turned her shining brown gaze directly on Rin. "Tell me, princess, where have you been hiding all this time?"

Rin was taken aback by the abrupt question. "I…well, I was born as a human in a village…" She began to explain. "Sesshomaru found me as a young girl, an orphan…" This seemed to confuse the woman, and she turned to the man for confirmation. He nodded.

"And, where was this village?" She began to describe the location of a village she remembered meeting many people from as a child.

"Yes, that's it! That's my village exactly!" Rin said excitedly. The miko smiled indulgently.

"Dear princess, you have always had Yume blood. That village was founded by the Yume for those members who had less than hanyō blood, to protect them when the first laws against them began. Everyone thought it destroyed because they had to hide from those who sought to massacre them as well, but clearly some made it." Her eyes shone with excitement. "How is it you were changed to this form? Perhaps it could be done again!"

Rin looked down. "I'm sorry, but, the village is gone. Everyone was killed by wolves when I was a child." Sesshomaru took her hand gently. "If I had known, Rin, I—"

"No, it's all right. The villagers were not exactly kind to me. Perhaps they simply got what they deserved." Rin looked back up to the Miko. "At least I am here, right?"

The old woman smiled warmly. "Yes. At last the princess has returned. She stands before me with ivy on her cheeks and a belly full of new life…" She turned to Sesshomaru. "Do you know the prophecy, milord?"

"No, I was unaware of any prophecy existing after the Yume were gone."

The miko smiled. "I shall tell you, then, that it has been almost 1000 years since the princess of the Yume last stood on these grounds. Perhaps I am an optimist, but I think it no coincidence that Rin is nearly identical to that young woman." Rin's eyes widened and the miko nodded again. "It was foretold that the Yume would fall, though I don't recall if the reason was known. But it was also said that they would return. 'The princess shall once again take her place at the head of the Yume, and they shall become a nightmare and a curse upon those who caused their demise.'" She quoted. "And that is why they were so diligent in hunting down everyone with so much as a drop of Yume blood they could find."

Rin shivered at that, and Sesshomaru gently pulled her closer for comfort. "I wouldn't worry. After all these centuries, surely they've all gone…" But Rin shook her head urgently at the Miko.

"People have been trying to kill me since I was presented to the court months ago!" This seemed to surprise the wizened woman, but after a moment's thought, her gentle smile returned.

"You must be strong—the fate of this clan, our clan, rests in your hands, princess." She gently took Rin's hands in her own, squeezing gently before releasing them again and motioning toward the torii. "There is much work to be done, and a healthy pup to be born soon as well. Go now. I shall pray for you." She bowed deeply, dismissing the couple, and Sesshomaru took his mate's hand again to lead her away. Rin seemed troubled as they reached the bottom of the shrine grounds. The fate of the clan was in her hands, as the last pureblooded Yume. And if the clan was supposed to return…her only thought was to her growing belly. She would have her work cut out for her…

* * *

Clan Glossary

Yume (dream)—former ruling clan, thought extinct since the civil war and massacre a millennium ago. Black hair and brown or deep amber eyes. The markings are jade or forest green ivy, tendrils for the girls and sharply pointed leaves for the boys. Their ability was prediction through the medium of visions, usually in dreams or while sleeping or deeply entranced. Notable members: Rin

Tsuki (moon)—current ruling clan, beginning with Sesshomaru's grandparents after the conclusion of the civil war. White hair and gold or light amber eyes. The markings are a deep pink on the cheeks, tilde for the women and thin sharp stripes for the men, as well as a purple moon which gives the clan its name. their ability is poison in both the claws and saliva that, at least in the InuYōkai world, has no known antidote. Notable members: Sesshomaru's mother, Sesshomaru

Nami (wave)—a high ranking clan living mainly in the southernmost part of the main island (Honshuu if you're interested) and usually trained as samurai. Silver hair and gold to light amber eyes. The markings are a deep blue and jagged, with fat stripes on the cheeks of males and smaller jagged diamond-like markings for females. They often also have thick black brows. Their ability lies in impressive strength and sheer size, as even the smallest pure Nami female is usually almost 2 metres tall. Notable members: Sesshomaru's father (deceased), Chieko (deceased), chieko's pup

Umi (beach, seashore)—a clan long trusted by both the former and current ruling clans to be an ally. They live along the island's two coasts in two separate but closely related factions. Members of both clans are often trusted as advisors and guards for the palace. Blonde hair and light gold to grey eyes. The markings are pale or even sky blue very thin stripes for men and thin tilde for women. They do not have any notable abilities but are known for their fierce loyalty. Notable members: Taro, captain of the palace guard

Ka (fire)—a clan known for having "a nose for herbs and a nasty bite". The women are often trained as midwives and the males are fierce warriors. Orange to red hair and blue eyes. The markings are often non-existent on the cheeks, only having a small black teardrop on the forehead, with the lowest point just above the eyebrows. Hybrid Ka often have the cheek stripes of their non-ka parent. Their ability is twofold: the "nasty bite" part of their creed refers to the massively long upper fangs all Ka possess after losing their baby fangs, which are venomous. The venom is excruciatingly painful, like fire, which is part of the origin of their name. adolescent ka often can't close their mouth over these overlong fangs, but most adults can. In addition, they don't have claws on their hands or feet, unlike every other clan, which makes them uniquely suited to the healer's art and especially midwifery. Notable members: Aki, the royal midwife

Dō (earth)—a clan in the northeast of the island, the Dō are battle strategists and impressive warriors. Light brown hair and dark blue eyes. The markings are faint and often impossible to see at a distance, consisting of very thin dark brown or black lines that could be mistaken for brushstrokes or birthmarks. Their ability is simply cunning—they are well known for outsmarting any opponent that comes their way, making them invaluable battle strategists. They often favour ambush and poisons to prevent their own losses in a battle. Notable members: Azumi, the maid, Akemi, Azumi's mother, Kyoko, Azumi's half-sister

Mori (forest)—a clan in the northwest, they border the northern wolf territories (where Ayame is from). Dark brown hair and blue eyes. Their cheek markings are thin red stripes for both males and females, most often two or 3 sets that can be short (not reaching the corner of the eye) to long (almost reaching the nose) as well as a forehead marking of a small red diamond just above the brows. The mori have no special abilities but are well known as the clan most closely related to wolf yōkai, and other clans often accuse them of inbreeding with the wolf tribes. They often use the evidence that many Mori, especially the Daimyō family, have tails alongside or in place of a moko-moko. Notable members: the Daimyō family

Kin-Yama (gold-mountain)—one of a pair of sister clans that dwell in the mountains undesirable to any other clan. They are well known for growing medicinal herbs. Golden-blonde hair and blue eyes. Their markings are jagged black stripes similar in shape to the Nami, with diamond-like marks for the women. Notable members: none yet

Shiro-Yama (white-mountain)—the other of a pair of sister clans that dwell high in the mountains where nearly nothing grows. They are known for growing magical herbs and poisons. White hair and gold eyes. Their markings are identical to those of the tsuki clan, with the obvious exception of the moon. Shiro-Yama are very small in stature, never growing beyond 1.6 meters at the tallest. Some believe the tsuki and Shiro-Yama were once related, but they were already two separate clans by the time detailed records began to be kept. Notable members: none yet

I hope this helped! Maybe you can visualize people a bit better now.


	60. Chapter 60

Sessh Rin fic chap 60

A/N: another milestone: our 60th chapter! I'm honestly very shocked it's gotten this long, and I promise it wasn't my intention…anyway, we're very close to the biggest part (I was hoping to be closer but it didn't actually fit in the last chapter so I cut it off).

Chapter bomb part 2!

* * *

Rather than returning immediately to the palace, Rin begged, though she didn't really have to convince, Sesshomaru to take her to the nearby town to look through the market. She hadn't been in ages and wanted to see the new spring wares, especially cloth for the pup's first clothes. On the way, her stomach growled a bit, and he steered her away from the market to get food from a tea shop, checking it over himself before offering her the food. Rin munched happily, enjoying the warm sun, spring breeze, and happy chatter of the humans going about their day to day lives. They made life seem so simple, even when Rin knew it wasn't.

In a lull in the chatter, Rin took a sip of her tea, then asked, "Have you thought of any names?"

Sesshomaru did not have to ask what his mate was referring to, simply looking down from her face to her wrapped stomach with a pensive expression. "If the pup is a girl, Chiyoko, and if it is a boy, Tarō."

Rin blinked at him, chewing another gyoza. "I suppose you must have thought about it a lot," She noted. "Hmm…Well, I was thinking of Akihiko for a boy…and I haven't thought of any good girl names." Well, she had several ideas, but she didn't think her beloved would approve of naming his firstborn daughter after a human. She tapped her chin with a finger. "And what about the other one?"

"Other one?!" That made his head snap up sharply from gazing into his tea. His eyes immediately fell back to her stomach in concern. Had she been hiding something from him?!

"The one we're adopting? Chieko and Kaito's son? We have to name him, even if we don't take him in." He let out a soft sigh of relief in realization. "Perhaps Eiji would suit him, as he will be our second child…" She suggested hesitantly, concerned about Sesshomaru's outburst. She didn't understand what it had been about. Well, these past weeks had been trying for him, she supposed, and she knew he wasn't sleeping well, though not why. She would feel very guilty indeed to learn that it was her constant movement from the pup's kicking that was keeping her beloved awake, depriving him of necessary rest.

"I like those names," Sesshomaru reassured her with a soft, tiny smile. "They both fit a royal status."

"Are you sure? I've never named anything before, and this is so important…" Rin fretted, and Sesshomaru laid a hand reassuringly over hers. "Your mother said we would have a few months to decide, after they're born." Much like in the human world, InuYōkai, at least, weren't concerned in giving the baby a permanent name until their marks grew in completely, at between 3 and 4 months of age, or about 100 days. They were considered at that point to have 'survived childhood' and were no longer at risk of being stolen away by the reaper in the night. Sesshomaru would not properly ascend to taishōgun until their child, boy or girl, was 100 days old.

Rin took another sip of her tea, then gasped in pain as the pup seemed to wake and stretch, making themselves comfortable in the ever more limited space of her stomach. "Rin, are you all right?" Sesshomaru asked in immediate concern, but she waved him back down, taking a deep breath. "Fine, fine. They're just stretching. They do that a lot." She rubbed at the last spot she had felt feet and got a few gentle kicks as a reward. She finished her tea and stood up, tugging on his sleeve in sudden excitement. "Come on, let's go to the market! We need to hurry, the best things sell first!"

Sesshomaru smiled indulgently, finishing his own tea and leaving some coins for the payment on the table. Then he allowed his eager mate to lead him back onto the market street, which was bustling with shoppers going every direction. Rin spotted a cloth merchant and eagerly dragged him over to the elderly woman's stall, admiring all the vibrant colors and patterns. As she picked up a small bolt to admire it, her face abruptly went white and she dropped it back on the table, catching herself on Sesshomaru. He held her upright in concern—she looked as though she were in terrible pain—but it passed in another few seconds with seemingly no lasting effects. It must have been one of the false pains Aki had informed him of before. "That hurt!" Rin exclaimed, also quite worried and not quite sure what had happened. "…Do we have to go home now?"

He shook his head, then conceded, "Not yet. But if it happens again or lasts longer, then yes, I'm afraid we do." Rin nodded, accepting that answer, and straightened up, getting him to let go of the gentle but firm grip he had taken on her upper arms. She turned back to the table, where the old woman was watching the young couple with a knowing smile.

"First child, Milady?" She asked, offering a bolt to look at. Rin nodded, admiring the bright color. "The first is always the hardest, because everything is new. But don't worry, I'm certain everything will come out fine." Rin turned to Sesshomaru and held the bolt of fabric up to her cheek to show the pattern and colors against her skin. "What do you think?"

"Hmm…I'm not sure that one suits you well."

"It's not for me, silly—it's for the pup!" She looked closer at it and put it down. "You're right…how about this one?" It was a pleasant pale yellow with sakura painted on. A discount now, because nobody wanted the cloth until next year, but the delicate blossoms were very fitting for a newborn. "This seems perfect with summer coming. And I am due in June—just in time for the rainy season!"

As he reached into his sleeve to fetch his coin purse, Rin's ditzy mind returned to his odd reaction to her asking about what they should name the orphan. "Why did you act so strangely when I was asking about names?" She queried, making him glance at her out of the corner of his eye and turn very faintly pink.

"Well…I mistook your asking about the orphan as a statement that your bore twins," He explained, turning a bit toward her. She gasped sharply and smacked his arm. "Don't curse me! One's enough!" She scolded. "Besides, the midwife would know if I was, and she would tell me."

"Midwives can't always tell," The merchant woman noted, wrapping the bolt in some garbage cloth for transport, "At least, not with humans." This statement seemed to trouble Rin, and she took the bolt herself, cradling it to her chest as she frowned.

Sesshomaru found a sunny place in plain sight that Rin could sit down while he continued shopping, and within a few minutes she had dozed off in the warm spring sun. when he came to fetch her, she refused to wake, pawing lightly at him in an effort to fend him off. He just chuckled softly and gently scooped her up, letting her continue to doze as they returned home.

"And what sort of time do you call this?" Aki demanded as they entered the manor a couple of hours later. The Royal Midwife had her hands on her hips and a pouting expression, ready to tell them off for whatever they may have been up to against her orders.

"Relaxation time," Sesshomaru replied smoothly, stepping past the small angry woman to lay Rin in bed to finish what little was left of her midday nap.

"Rela-h-have I really been that bad to you?" She asked, deflating like a puffer fish with a puncture.

"You have been stressing her out quite a bit of late. And me as well."

"My apologies," She said with a small bow, "I have only been doing my job to protect you and your heirs." She peeked in as Sesshomaru slid the door shut and stepped back into the hallway. "Did she eat well today?"

"Three plates of gyoza and some tea for lunch. Her appetite is fine."

Aki nodded, looking relieved. "A bit of meat when she wakes, then. Easy enough." Noting his slightly preoccupied expression as he moved to put away the few items he had purchased, she followed. "You seem troubled. What is it?"

The man offered a slightly chagrined sigh and admitted that he had mistaken Rin's query about the orphan as a statement of carrying twins. "Her stomach does seem to be a bit larger than it ought to be…doesn't it?"

Aki offered a reassuring smile and gently patted the concerned father-to-be's arm. "That's because it is. But it's nothing to worry over, I think." At his incredulous look, she nearly giggled. "Milord," She said slowly, "Do you not realize what big-boned blood you carry? Your pup is a quarter Nami, from your father's side. Even chieko was several inches taller than me—as tall as you are. Do you really think your pup would not also be large?" Sesshomaru gave a noncommittal grunt. "I have noticed no signs of twins, Sesshomaru-sama. But, to be honest, I haven't been looking. It is, after all, fairly rare among us."

Sesshomaru offered another concerned look and turned to the royal midwife. "Would you be willing to check more closely? My mind will not let the idea go, and it concerns Rin also." She nodded, instructing him to tell her when Rin woke so she could do so.

It didn't take long for Rin to wake from her nap and go in search of food. And it wasn't long after that when Rin returned, being gently pushed along by Aki. "You already checked me this morning! Nothing's changed!" Rin insisted as the midwife gently pushed her sliding feet up to the edge of the futon and pointed commandingly for Rin to lie down. "No! I don't want to." Rin turned to her beloved, who was reading over a small missive a little too intently, as if trying to ignore the women. "What, do you think I'm sleeping too much or something?" She demanded of him, but he didn't reply.

"Come now, Milady, I'll be quick."

Pouting, Rin finally complied, laying down and allowing the midwife to help her out of her robes so she could be thoroughly checked. She poked and prodded everywhere, counted heartbeats and breaths, checked fingers and toes and gums and all over her growing belly, and Rin didn't even know why. When the midwife finally sat back, she blurted "Well?! What is it?"

Aki sighed and turned to Sesshomaru, who finally put down the scroll he'd already read through four times during the proceedings. "I still see no definite signs, but…"

"Signs of what? What do you mean, 'but'?!" Rin asked, starting to become alarmed.

"It's all right, Rin-sama. Your mate was concerned that you have some signs of carrying twins. And, well, you do, but they are all explained by something else." Aki sat up straighter as she explained. "Your stomach is bigger than it should be by now, but your pup is a quarter Nami, so I expected it. And you are far more moody than normal, but you were human just months ago and unused to Yōki. So I don't know. I can't tell you that it isn't, for sure."

Rin frowned, going from alarmed to worried, putting her rather small hands on either side of her growing stomach. "You really can't tell?" She fretted, looking down at her baby bump.

"I would be able to if I could feel kicking in more than one place, but I haven't noticed any of that, have you?"

Rin shook her head and sighed in concern. The pup seemed to be shy and refused to kick now at all, or perhaps it was sleeping. "Nothing has really changed, Milady, I promise. Just continue to eat well, take walks, and get plenty of sleep, just as you have been. Everything will turn out all right, especially now that you have the kami's blessing as well." She helped Rin get dressed properly again and showed her how to put the blessed wrap on by herself, since she still disliked having a handmaid to help her dress.

The following morning, the scroll delivery came just after dawn, and Rin did not want to get up so early. Rubbing one eye, she yawned and stretched, climbing out of bed with her hair all tousled to help her mate sort the scrolls so they could have breakfast. "More treaties?" She complained, seeing the seals of several clans in the pile. "Now, of all times?"

"The Dō, no less," Sesshomaru noted, taking one off the stack and handing another to her to open, since she seemed so keen on helping him. He cracked the seal as she opened the small missive from the palace, which, as usual, bore his mother's scent.

"What do they want?" She mused disinterestedly as she opened the missive, then gasped in horror as Sesshomaru read the first characters on his own scroll.

"WAR."

"This…this is your mother's…" Rin murmured in a tiny, horrified tone, just as the scent of blood hit Sesshomaru's nose.


	61. Chapter 61

Sessh Rin fic Chap 61

A/N: finals week starts in the morning, and as soon as it is over I'm on a plane to Japan for a week! So I won't get anything more out until Christmas.

*edit* so obviously I intended to get this out before going to japan, but that didn't quite happen, so here I am in narita airport hoping I can finish it sometime during this 42 hour long hell day as we pass back over the date line on our flight…

*edit 2* So…yeah…that didn't happen either. Merry Christmas, I hope?

To sorrelkaren, the clans aren't part of any mythology I know of, except maybe the "5 elements" of Chinese beliefs? Which I believe are also used in japan. The ka(fire), mori(wood), Dō(earth), Nami(water) and Kin-yama(gold), as well as Umi(representing metal) correspond to elements, as well as the Yume and shiro-yama being yin and yang/heaven and hell, and I'm not sure about the Tsuki. I think of them most as probably air and heaven/hell, more so the second because of the poison ability.

* * *

Sesshomaru snatched the missive from Rin's hands desperately, seeing the spots of blood on the paper before he was able to read the words written there in shaky calligraphy.

 _My Son_

 _I fear there is no one left worthy of our trust. Last night, I was attacked as I lay sleeping with the pup. I do not know if it was I or he who was the target, but I know the Umi have always been loyal to us—until now. Trust no one, and do not worry for me. I will heal._

The white-haired man huffed in relief to know his mother was still alive and mostly well, and clearly the pup was fine also, as she hadn't mentioned him being harmed at all. He set the note down on the desk and pinned it with a paperweight, noticing the faint trembling in his fingers. He could have lost her. The only family he had left, he could have lost it so quickly. His eyes turned from the note to the declaration of war, still spread on the stack of other, unopened, scrolls on his desk, and he suddenly saw red.

Rin gasped in terror as her mate's eyes suddenly glowed crimson and he jumped to his feet with a roar of fury, throwing open the window and leaping outside, needing a wide-open space to prevent damaging something valuable in his rage. Paws struck the garden earth rather than feet and in another two bounds he was beyond the garden wall and in search of prey that would soon regret the day of its birthing.

Rin jumped up moments after he was gone, swallowing thickly with worry, and got herself some thicker clothing before hurrying down the stairs and outside to pursue her beloved. He couldn't just go off on his own! It was surely far too dangerous now, not that it was ever really safe. She shifted to her true form after exiting the gate, running after him without much thinking of her own safety, for only his mattered at this moment. She trotted quickly after his rampaging footsteps, dismayed at the gory sight that soon greeted her.

Rin had seen Sesshomaru's power before, but she had never realized how much nor how often he had held back. Every living thing in a massive ring around him was dead, destroyed by his poison, claws, and fangs. She stopped at the edge of the ring, whining softly in concern and gazing quite worriedly at her mate's massive white canine form standing in the center, claws ripping deep gouges in the earth itself. _My love…_

As Sesshomaru's hate-filled crimson eyes snapped up to meet Rin's, the poor young female took a step back, cowering in front of him. _Please…come home…_ He heard his mate's gentle voice caress his mind. His eyes seemed to clear somewhat as he realized his rampage had frightened her, and she was now cowering from him. He straightened up from his stoop-shouldered aggressive posture before dropping his head and tail in apology and remorse, attempting—though of course it didn't really work—to make himself smaller than Rin was, to put her at ease. She didn't move back again as he took a cautious step toward her, licking his chops to get rid of the dangerous poison that he had been drooling just seconds before. Rin whined in anxiety as he took another step, shaking slightly, her fur fluffed and making her already sizable stomach bulge even bigger to his eyes. He was deeply saddened to feel her slight flinch as he gently nuzzled the soft fur between and behind her ears, and quickly began to gingerly groom the soft fur in hopes of calming and soothing her.

 _I am very sorry, Rin. I should not have lost my temper. You know I would never, ever hurt you._ He continued his gentle grooming, tongue laving over her neck and shoulders in a calming effort. He felt her worried trembling quickly ease as she tucked her head under his chest, relaxing. _Come, and let us go home. There are many preparations to be made, and you are far safer there._

Once they were safely back at the manor and back in their usual forms, Sesshomaru set to reading the remainder of the scrolls, ordering Rin to pack but not telling her what for. The remainder of the stack contained another declaration of war from the Shiro-Yama clan, and two refusals of aid, from the Mori and, surprisingly, Umi clans. So, his mother had been right…The Umi clans had chosen to stop being loyal at the most crucial moment.

"I'm done," Rin said as he set down the last scroll, frowning deeply at it, and looking back at the missive from his mother.

"Good." Sesshomaru stood and turned to his beloved, who looked understandably worried. "We are going to the palace."

"What?" Rin balked, eyes widening in shock. "We're going to go _towards_ the people who tried to kill your mother?" She clearly thought he had lost all his good sense, and perhaps he had, but he knew they had little choice. This was shaping up into another civil war and something drastic had to be done, and fast. Sesshomaru's small mate took one of his large hands in both of her dainty ones and pressed his palm to her stomach, letting him feel the movement of the quickly growing new life within. "Please, think of the baby! There are so few of us…If…if you die, we have to survive, or they win." Her deep brown eyes watered, threatening tears, and when her small hands let him go he placed his palms on her cheeks with care, encouraging her to look up at him as a drop escaped the waterfall that was sure to start.

"What do you suggest, Rin?" He wiped the tear from her cheek with the pad of his thumb, frowning as her lip trembled.

"I don't _know_!" She wailed softly, trying to wipe her own eyes with her fists as several more tears fell all at once. She let out a worried sob and he shifted to gently embrace her. She nuzzled into his moko as her breath hitched with a couple more sobs. "I almost…lost you…once already. I-I-I can't…I can't lose you now. I-I just _sob_ just want you, to, to think before you go charging in!" Sesshomaru swallowed a bit thickly. He had been too reckless of late, and perhaps this was exactly what they wanted. What if this really was just a ruse, to get them all in one place so they would be easier to destroy? Rin was right, it could be an ambush, and were it not for her he would have already been on his way into it.

"Perhaps…you are right. Let us wait and remain here. I will send a letter back to Mother—" But as Sesshomaru spoke, Rin stiffened in his arms, letting out a soft gasp. He shifted quickly to hold his beloved at arms' length, fearing another of those intense false pains she seemed to get more frequently with stress. Instead he was greeted with glowing red sclera, but not a wisp of smoke nor a longer fang. "Rin?"

"We must go." Her voice was flat, emotionless; frightening, even. "Today. They are coming. The papers are real. They march, and we must travel before they reach the battlefield. The Taishō's time is at hand." It wasn't elegant, and it didn't rhyme, but Sesshomaru knew he had just witnessed a vision, and clearly a very important one. Rin closed her eyes and shivered, her knees weakening. He gently caught her by the upper arms and shifted one arm behind her to draw her back into him and keep her from falling.

"Rin, are you all right?" The woman's eyes remained closed for a moment or two more, then opened again, as clear as if that terrifying moment had never been. She seemed a little confused and asked why they were still in the manor when a moment before she had seen them in the palace.

Within moments, and with a bit less explanation than Rin would have liked, they were on their way to the palace, reaching it about an hour before sundown. As they made their way up the grand steps, Rin perked up at the sound of a baby crying. Her motherly ears recognized the cry of the little boy they were going to adopt, and she did her best to hurry, wanting to reach him as quickly as possible. Gobodō-sama soon came into view holding the wailing baby, looking tired but otherwise fine, and dressed in simpler traveling clothes rather than her usual fancy fare.

Rin took the baby and quieted him, sitting heavily on the final step and letting her breathing ease from her hasty stair-climbing. Much to the white-haired woman's surprise, her son dropped the bag he was carrying just inside the doorway and then embraced her for a moment, clearly relieved to find her well. "Your imprint cloth got blood on it during the attack last night, Daughter, and he's refused to eat since," She informed the girl, who nodded. Between the clearly hungry cries and the rooting the tiny pup was doing now, she knew what he needed. Though she knew it wasn't the best idea, Rin let him nurse, smoothing the silver fuzz on his head as Sesshomaru and his mother conferred nearby.

After a few moments of quiet conference, Sesshomaru stepped over, stooped to kiss Rin's head, and left somewhere. Rin tried to turn and follow his path with her eyes, but the pup in her arms distracted her once more and her spacey mother's brain stopped worrying about her mate in another two heartbeats. She rose and went inside, admiring the shell-like ears of the infant as he slept now, contented and full. He was able to hear now, and his eyes were just starting to peek open, baby blue for a few months yet before the gold would develop fully. She kept him cradled close to her, heading to their bedroom to wait for her beloved to return from wherever he had gone.

As Sesshomaru returned several hours later, having washed the blood from his claws after executing the two Dō men who had been captured weeks ago, he paused at the entrance to his room. He could hear contented noises from the pup and was a bit surprised he was still with Rin. He slowly opened the door and met his mate's guilty gaze. She was sitting on her hands, the pup beside her, wrapped lovingly in her moko-moko. And surrounding her were piles of blankets, pillows and cushions—anything soft the young woman could get her hands on. "Rin…"

"I'm sorry," She murmured softly, looking away from him and biting her lip. "I needed something I could control…" Sesshomaru stepped in and knelt down beside her, gathering her back into his arms, pulling her head to his shoulder and smoothing her hair.

"Please, don't do this," He murmured, resting his cheek against her hair. "I can get you a scroll, or a puzzle box. But please don't start nesting again. It's too early still. We can change rooms if it would help." He petted her raven hair gently as she clung to him, still quite guilty and ashamed. Really, she had done a bit of gathering, but come back to her senses before she could start nesting proper, and stopped herself. He sighed in relief as Rin relaxed, then perked up and turned toward the door, hearing footsteps just outside.

Sesshomaru's mother swept in as she often did, settling herself on one of the cushions and wasting no time in addressing her son. "You know that an army of the Dō and Shiro-Yama clans are marching on us even now. What is your plan to counter their attack?"

Sesshomaru frowned. He had been thinking on this very thing on the entire way to the palace that day. What could he really do? What hope did they have against them? "I had thought to lay a trap under the guise of truce. Invite them into the palace proper, and then destroy the leaders—"

"You think to fool them?" His mother questioned incredulously, raising a delicate silver brow in slight disbelief. "The Dō are strategists by very nature, my son. They have already proven that many times over the past months. We have only barely managed to thwart them at every turn, and only I think because there were so few. Now we face them all." She sat up a little straighter, shifting so her toes were under her ankles rather than behind her, and her back was as straight as a rod. "Your father may have glossed over some of the fine points of your education, but fighting and leading men is not something he would skip."

It was Rin who swallowed nervously and quavered "But Milady, the clans refused to help…"

Gobodō-sama scoffed, having read through the documents that Sesshomaru had brought along with them. "Only some have refused, and they can be punished later for disobedience. The Nami, the Kin-Yama, the Ka, can all be called to fight. You have an army, Sesshomaru, if you want it." She nodded smartly, but her son looked doubtful and a bit tired.

"Perhaps if they want to. No one wants another civil war. If I ask, they will not come; it isn't their fight—"

" **SESSHOMARU! LISTEN TO ME!** " Barked the Lady Mother in a nearly thunderous voice, causing Rin to flinch back and her son to retreat a step in shock at the power displayed. Rin quickly grabbed the now-frightened newborn and tried to quiet his panicked fussing. The white-haired woman took a deep breath to quiet and calm her voice before continuing in a low snarl. "I am only the TenDaimyō of the lands. A political ruler. I cannot fight. But you can. You MUST take your father's place as Taishō. These clans, every one, every daimyō and minor lord, swore to follow you at your birth, and they are bound to come at your command to serve, whether it is 'their problem' or not." Her son mutely looked away. She knew he didn't want to hear this, but it needed to be said. "The Nami are all bigger than you, and trained as samurai. The Ka you say are warriors. And the Yama will stop their sister clan if we act quickly." The woman rose gracefully to her feet, then stood on tiptoe, reaching up to pull her son's head down so she could kiss his moon for luck. "I trust you, my son. Do not fail us."

After Sesshomaru left the room once more, the white-haired woman settled next to her daughter-in-law, helping calm the pup and remaining to prevent Rin from nesting again. "You know, this little one is as big now as Sesshomaru was at birth!" She hummed. Rin looked from the slightly chubby 3-week-old pup to her still growing stomach, and gulped.

The commands to muster and fight were sent directly by magical means, as there was absolutely no time to waste on couriers, not even those who could fly. As Sesshomaru went about taking his father's place, the palace blacksmiths worked on his armor and sharpened his blades. He had just watched the last treatise, to the Kin-Yama daimyo, disappear as the magic took effect, when a messenger arrived. "Your armor is ready for inspection, Taishō-sama, as ordered." Sesshomaru stretched, stepping away from the desk to follow the young man to the head blacksmith, who led him to a dummy displaying his altered armor.

The workmanship was impressive, to say the least. Not only had it been repaired of any scuffs and scratches as if it were perfectly new, but it had been polished until it gleamed in the lantern light. The metal bands on the breastplate were the most obvious difference. Where once there had been one broad band to protect his shoulder (and how effective it had been against his fool brother's wild attack years ago!) there were instead three smaller bands, with too narrow a gap between them to offer a broad sword strike a chance. It greatly reminded Sesshomaru of his father's old armor with its pauldrons. His fur, as always, would serve to protect his other side. The armor had additionally been reinforced with magic, altering the colored undertone under the black from a faint yellow sheen to more of a deep blue where the lacquer caught the light. The lotus petals of the bottom of his armor had been slightly altered to be made a bit lighter and more flexible, allowing for good protection and maximum maneuverability. "Are you satisfied, Milord? And you wanted bracers as well, yes?"

"Yes, of course," Sesshomaru nodded, seeing the smith turn and pick up a small bundle, offering it to him. Forearm guards, very similar also to those his father had worn, though without the white detailing. "You'll want a different shirt," The smith commented, eyeing the sleeves of the Furisode that Sesshomaru always favoured for his outer layer. "Not only will those not fit on such large sleeves, but they will only slow you down, surely." Sesshomaru nodded absently and returned to the women, unhappy that it was well after dark now.

Unsurprisingly, his mother was still awake, though Rin had long since dozed off, her head in her mother-in-law's lap and the pup protected by her ring of fur and her arm gently draped over him. The white-haired woman gently shifted, replacing her small lap with a soft pillow for the pregnant woman so she could stand to greet her son. "How go the preparations?"

"Well, I think. The armor is complete already." She noticed the bundle he was slightly wringing in his hands and smiled.

"A moment."

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow but waited until his mother returned, clutching a bundle of cloth and a fresh scroll bearing the Ka seal. "This just came," She said, offering the scroll first. He quickly pulled it open, eyes widening in slight disbelief and relief.

"Two hundred and fifty soldiers." Now, by human standards, this was impressive, though not by much, but by the standards of the InuYōkai, it was _staggering._ That had to be nearly every able-bodied man of the Ka!

"I told you. You have an army. You just have to lead it." Gobodō-sama then offered the bundle of cloth. "I have dreamed of the day you would have the opportunity to wear this." When he took the cloth and unfolded it, it turned out to be a shirt with narrow sleeves, only the collar and left shoulder bearing the pattern of plum blossoms on hexagons. It was exactly what he needed to suit his armor perfectly.

"Thank you…Mother." She looked up at his sudden firmness of tone, faintly arching a brow. What was it now? "I want you to take Rin and go to the village. If I should fail, she must be protected, and so must you." He looked down at her, meeting her gaze as serious as death. "I have seen the palace burn once, in the vision you showed me months ago. I refuse to see it become a reality." She looked away from him, remembering it for herself, as she had seen it all along with him. That was only supposed to happen if Rin remained human, yet here it happened still. The very villains the vision had predicted were marching on them now, hell-bent on their destruction by whatever means necessary.

"You will not fail."

"Even so…Please, take her to safety, that I may fight with a clear head." At this, she nodded softly and stooped to gently wake the groggy pregnant woman, who tried to fend her off with one limp hand and a groan. Within the hour, they were gone, with Rin making him swear on that which he held most dear that he would return personally to inform them of his victory.

After they had stolen off into the night, with Rin riding upon his mother's shoulders and the pup cradled in her arms, Sesshomaru changed and put on his armor. The other two responses came in: the Kin-Yama mobilized a hundred men to block the Shiro-Yama pass, thwarting half the approaching force from making it to the battlefield altogether, and the Nami promised the handful of men they had left, all seasoned warriors and respected leaders.

Fastening the second bracer onto his forearm, Sesshomaru stepped out into the cool after-midnight air once more. As he stood on the third balcony, looking out over the darkened lands of his domain, a terrible smile curved his lips. _Let them come. I am ready._

* * *

A/N: ohhh boy...are you excited? I'm excited! and late...very late...^.^" happy new year everyone!


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